Racist joke thread

Hit me with your best racist joke, Sup Forums. I've never seen this one beaten:

>What is the worst part about being a black jew?

You have to ride the back of the oven.

>If an apple and a nigger fall out of a tree at the same time, which will hit the ground first?

>The apple. The nigger would be stopped by the rope.

Why do black people have nightmares?

Because a white one shot the only one with a dream.

top kek

>What do you call a black woman who has had an abortion?
>A crime fighter.

How do Jews fit in a car?

2 in front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ash tray.

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>what is black, white, and rolls around in McDonald's parking lot?

A nigger and a seagull fighting over a french fry

(first told to me by a hockey coach... lol)

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What do you call an abo with one shoe?

A thief

Give a black person a gun and they shoot a rival black gang member
Give a Mexican person a gun and they shoot a rival Mexican cartel member
Give a white person a gun and they shoot up a school!

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How do you pick up a Jewish girl?

With a dustpan and mop.

Why dont you play Uno with mexicans?

Because they steal all the green cards

>Why is it so easy to train arab pilots?

You only need to teach them to take off.

This joke is actually pretty silly, even when it's told right.
One adult human male's professionally cremated ashes fills a box that's about the volume of two bricks.

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Q. How do you get an Abbo pregnant?
A. Cum on a rock and let the flies get at it.

did i not tell it right

why don't niggers marry mexicans? cause their kids would be too lazy to steal.

Haven't heard this one before, thanks

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Why do they call them re-fried beans?
You expect Mexicans to get something right the first time?

What do you get when you cross a black guy and a Mexican?
Someone who's too lazy to steal.

We also have natives in Canada but we lack the jokes unfortunately

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What disgusting thing can be found inside a black man's clothes

The black man

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What's black and yellow and screams?

>a busload of niggers going over a cliff

> what's black and dangerous to cut through ?

The line at KFC

Underrated

A black lady has 5 kids, whom she names Jamal, Jamal, Jamal, Jamal, and Jamal. How does she tell them apart?

by their last names

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A farmer was tending his fields one day when a pink Cadillac full of niggers took a hard turn on the road and flipped over into the ditch. Niggers and watermelons every godamned-where. The farmer calls 911, but when the ambulance shows up, the niggers are nowhere to be found.

"Where's the injured spooks?" asks the perplexed paramedics. "Oh, I buried 'em. They was dead." replied the farmer. "Oh? Are you sure they were dead?" the paramedic asks. "Well, they said they wasn't, but you know how them niggers lie."

What's the most confusing day in Harlem?

Father's Day

What's the difference between a couch and a black man?

A couch can support a family

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You need to ask HOW MANY Jews you can fit inside

You must be fun at parties

How do you get five niggers to stop raping a white women?


A. Throw them a basketball

wouldn't it be a broom you dumb nigger?

>Hitler walks into a bar
>Says to the bartender 'Give me six million jews and two clowns'
>Bartender asks 'Why do you need two clowns?'
>Hitler says 'See? No one cares about the jews.'

What did he mean by this

fuck

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i was wondering that myself

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Why do Mexicans label their cars?

They can't steal their own

Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: A boy scout comes home from camp.

How do you get a Jewish girl's number? Ask her to roll up her sleeve.

What do you call a black guy in space?

Why do niggers cry during sex?

Because of the pepper spray.

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What is long and hard on a black man?

Third grade

Whats the difference between extortion and rape?

>the way you spell "mail"

An astronaut, you fucking racist.

lmfao never heard that one

Does anyone have the blank template of this? I wanna make a few dank BLACKEDs of my own.

Albert

What is the difference between a Mexican and a book?
A book has papers.

A Chinese man, a Mexican, and an American are on a hot air balloon in midair when the balloon becomes punctured and starts dropping rapidly. To hopefully lighten the load and slow the descent, the 3 start throwing items off. The Chinese man says "We have too many of these in my country" and throws a bag of rice off. The Mexican says "We have too many of these in my country" and throws a crate of cocaine off. The American says "We have too many of these in my country" and throws the Mexican off.

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What's transparent and lies in the gutter?

A nigger with the shit kicked out of him.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

The pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven.

Ok so there is a plane that's flying over the Atlantic. The captain realizes they didn't put enough gas in the plane so it starts to go down. They dump all the luggage and the plane goes OK again for awhile. Sadly it's not enough and the flight attend says we are going to have to have some people jump out to save the rest. The only fair way to do this is alphabetically. She starts -

Are there any African Americans?
Blackies?
Coons?

Nobody gets up.

Darkies?

This little dindu gets up and runs to his dad and says "Dad, aren't we African Americans?"

The dad responds "No son, today we're Niggers. Right after the Mexicans."

Wouldn't the mexicans claim to be Spics though?

What's the worst part about being a black Jew?

They have to stand at the back of the oven.

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This one gave me a chuckle because I actually used to play uno all the time with my mexican cousins as a kid.

Nah, you don't usually say 6 million. Like 7 or 8 is how I always heard it.
It's just a bit of macabre knowledge. It surprised me, when I saw one of those little black boxes from the coroner's place.

underrated

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Three fags are having a bath together. Cum starts floating in the water. One fag turns to the others and says "ok, own up, who farted...

kek

Q: What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
A: E.T. eventually went home.

A nigger and a Mexican are sitting in the back of a car. Who's driving?

A cop.

Why are blacks so good at basketball?

Because you have to know how to run, steal, and shoot.

Jamal was in the locker room in 3rd grade one day when he noticed his dick was bigger than all the other boys. When he got home he asked his mom if it was because he was black. "Naw," his mom replied, "It's 'cause you 35."

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What's the difference between a nigger and a white

2/5

What do you call a paraplegic, a kid with down syndrome, and an autist in a hot tub?

Vegetable soup

whites aren't niggers

What do you call black Santa Claus?
>nigger

A little nigger boy put flour all over his face while his Mother was cooking.
"Look Mama - I is a white boy."
She slapped him around the head.
He went in to his Dad, who was watching TV.
"Look Papa, I is a white boy."
His Father kicked his ass.
He went to his Grandma who was folding clothes.
"Look Grandma - I is a white boy."
She punched him right on the nose.
He shouted, "I've only been white for three minutes, and I already HATE you fucking niggers..."

3/5 of a human you uncultured swine. If you wanted to make a joke on the 3/5ths compromise you failed you kike.

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A young boy asks his dad: Why do they say gardeners have green thumbs when their fingers aren't green?

Dad replies: It's just a saying son. It's like when somebody is caught stealing something they say they have been caught red handed, even though their hands are actually black.

What's the word that starts with an "N" that no one wants to call a black person?

Neighbor.

How many us leafs are there in here?

>What is the difference between a nigger and a frenchman?

Americans had first pick

How long does it take a black woman to shit?
9 months.

What do black women and hockey players have in common?
They change their pads every 3 periods.

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What do you call 5 black people having sex?

A threesome

kek

Did you hear about the 4 car pile-up in Mexico? 12,000 people died.

What did the black kid get for Christmas?

My bike.

holy fuck, my sides

now this guy gets it. Wholehearted kek

An Asian guy walks into a bar. There's a black man working. He walks up to him and says How bout a jigger, nigger?" The black man complains and says he deals with racism all day and would not like to hear them from a fellow minority. To improve the black guy's mood, the asian guy recommends they switch roles so the black guy can throw a few slurs at him.

So the black guy leaves and comes back out. He walks up to the bar where the asian man is cleaning a beer glass and says "How bout a drink, chink?"

No answer.

"Hey buddy, can you hear me?"

No answer, the asian guy continues to clean the glass.

"Hey man, are we doing this or what?"

The asian guy looks up and smiles
"Get out, we don't serve niggers here."
"

How does a sheboon learn she is pregnant?
When she takes out her tampon the cotton has already been picked.