So I'm going to court, i am being charged with assault for beating the shit out of 5 people

So I'm going to court, i am being charged with assault for beating the shit out of 5 people.

im using a proxy right now, my real country is unimportant

I was at the ATM at night, getting out some money to buy some turkish food, when i saw in the ATM mirror that 5 scruffy bikers were pulling up behind me on harleys, all in jeans or leather pants, leather vests ect. they get off and start walking towards me

>"Give us all ya money!" one shouts
>i kick back and get him right in the chest and send him reeling back
>i punch another in the face right away and he's floored instantly
>the other three try and fight back but are all weak and slow, i have done martial arts for years and thrashed them, it's like they've never fought a day in their lives
>police come and they are all crying
>apparently they just kind of i guess cosplay as hard core bikers,
>they are just a bunch of boomers living out biker fantasies and one of them yelled that as a joke and they weren't actually robbing me
>i beat up a bunch of men in their 60's who had never so much as worked hard a day in their lives or struggled at all, you know, typical boomers

they are suing me for assault, claiming because i threw the first physical attack i'm guilty as they were "clearly" joking not not an actual biker gang. Am I going to prison?

Pic related, they were dressed like this

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well, considering how you destroy 5 of them they were obviously not a gang but even if that were a joke they should be the ones to blame

well i thought i was pretty awesome at first until they started crying like little girls

damn dude, that's fucking stupid. They sound like they were fucking retarded and deserved it, but who knows how this will play out in a court

but uhhh

your real country is actually really important to figuring out whether or not you're going to jail here. I'd say that your state also matters, since I'm going to guess you're American.

They were probably just joking, but serves them right for acting like faggots all around

You will be fine if you can prove you felt threatened by them

I'm Australian, how fucked am I?

>my real country is unimportant

It actually is important because if you are in the USA it means you cannot counter sue for legal fees if you are found innocent.

I would say it was self defense but if in the USA you are still fucked because you will have to pay for your legal defense.

Get a lawyer, Australia is a fairly strict country, even when it comes to self defense

Germany?

Australia

I just wanted a fucking double meat chicken Kebab man, and their EFTPOS machine was broken!

You said your country aint important bud dont flip flop. You're probably kinda screwed because I'm assuming AUS is really liberal. Buy yourself a good jew lawyer.

5 against 1, make sure you talk about that as your reason for striking, or at least ask your lawyer about it.

Here if someone is much bigger than you or gives you reason to believe you are in danger, like they have a martial arts logo or something on their t shirt, then it justifies you reacting in a more extreme way.

You had to react quickly before you were dogpiled by 5 guys actually shouting about robbing you.

You should have already gotten any security footage you can get. It could show them aggresively walking up, but it could also show you kicking the shit out of several elderly people cause you're an autistic sperglord.
You could also try to pull the autistic sperglord card
Or even you should have just apologized on the spot when you realized what you did

your fucked m8!
>girl came up to me said she was 18
>I'm posting from prison now
>told the cops she said she's 18
>they laughed

Skippy, just blame the bikie menace.
If bikies are bad enough we have to have anti-consorting laws, then they're bad enough to score you leniancy.
You made the first move, so you are liable. But our pissweak magistrates will probably give you a good behaviour bond or at worst, a small fine/community service.
Your prior convictions for assault, if any, will make this worse.

Boy...Quit your lying!

>but it could also show you kicking the shit out of several elderly people
that sounds pretty cool, fuck old people

>Or even you should have just apologized on the spot when you realized what you did
What did i do wrong considering the situation? 5 people dressed as a gang came up to me at night and demanded my money at the ATM. how should i have reacted

how fucked you are depends on how cucked your country is. Also you fucked up by sticking around after laying the fucksmack on those guys rather then leaving.

>Japanese biker gang
made me kek

With a good lawyer you should be ok, and i dont know about au but you may be able to counter-sue for damages

ATMs usually have cameras. It probably caught the whole thing on tape, so you'll probably be fine

Was this their patch?
You score double points if it was.
Fuck these guys, and fuck their god for making them

Absolutely buggered m8

it turned out to be this...

Get
A
Lawyer

You can definitely make the case of self defense, specifically in this case defense of your property. These guys yelled they wanted your money, outnumber you 5 to 1, and are in biker getup. It is not unreasonable by any stretch of the imagination to believe that you and your property are in danger in this case, and is probably your best bet as a legal defense. Like said, footage is important in this case. Get your hands on it, and if it shows them acting aggressively, walking up to you especially, while at the ATM getting your money, your chances will be a lot better.

You're going to want a good lawyer too. One that specializes in assault and self defense if there is such a thing. Make it clear that you were afraid for your wellbeing and your property, since there were fucking five of them and they were shouting at you to give them your money lmao what retards

were there any other witnesses?

no, it was close to midnight

All these gay motorcycle clubs come from people emulating pissed off former soldiers from WW2 who checked out of society after seeing the horrors of war. Those guys were cool.

You acted correctly,now dont tell police anything and get a good lawyer.

Dont know laws of your country but you probably wont do time.

And if you do time then its probably half a year to a year so its a cake walk

Wearing biker clothing is illegal in aus so... you'll be fine if it happened here?

that might be good too, because it gives even more plausibility to the idea that you were about to get fucking mugged by bikers. Makes it more reasonable for you to be scared, less reasonable that you'd see you were beating up a bunch of elderly people until it was too late. I'd say your chances seem reasonably good as a practicing Sup Forums shitposter with no qualifications, as long as you get a lawyer.

Actually might just be nsw

Bahaha fucking Ulysses.
I'm surprised they were riding Harleys and not some pos ex-cop BMW.

Ulysses membership is what happens to motorcycle riders who aren't fast enough to die young, and live too long that they start to suffer waning testosterone levels.

Their wives probably made them sell their bikes after you slapped the shit out of them.

Would expect self defense to work in justifying it, if not couldn't people just get mob of 15 guys and demand money from randoms and if cops get involved they could just be like "hehe it was just a prank mate :')".

thank you for kicking their asses
they sound extra stupid

"It was just a prank bro!"
-Hitler's last words

I'll take "things that never happened" for $500, Alex.

>suing for assault
>prison
>Turkish food

Lol, serves you right faggot.
Your whole story sounds like bullshit.

yeah I thought bikeys were an actual problem in AUS.

considering you are probably a turkish refugee very, you should repent and turn to jesus christ as lord and savior

Started out fine, might've believed it if it didn't read like a power fantasy.

Only retards on Sup Forums believe this story. Been posted in Sup Forums three times.

Bosozoku gangs were actually fucking hardcore.
Were.

Like western bikies, it is now just a fucking scene. 1%ers are called 1%ers, because 99% of riders in leather vests are just trying to convince the world they aren't accountants.

Redditors are eating this shit up. It takes about 2 seconds of thought to realize this post is completely made up bullshit.

This is some good OC comedy texting

The CIA meme team is evolving, touché guys

>im using a proxy right now, my real country is unimportant
Weebo

another clickbait

>Been posted in Sup Forums three times.
post proof of that statment

Teaches you about eating Turkish food.....gives you the shits too!

>they are just a bunch of boomers

Not sure where you live, but normal people in their 60's don't cause trouble pretending to be bikers, just pray their not real bikers with contacts

they obviously said "hey you want some baloney"

and you kicked the shit out those old men you fucking asshole

Dude same thing happened to me. 15 dudes surrounded me at the ATM. back kicked the first while throatpunching 2 others. did a spinning heelkick that floored the 4th. the rest closed in but i kicked out the knee of the 5th, used it to jump kick the 6th, landed with who hammer fists to the heads of 7 and 8. 9 threw a punch, i caught it and elbowed his face, extended my arm to strike 10. 11 and 12 attacked at once but they didn't coordinate, grabbed one by the throat and used him to block the other's punch, then chokeslammed him, came back up with an uppercut to knock out the other. 13 14 and 15 started running but i threw 3 stones and knocked each one out.

same thing.

Doesn't sound like they were legit bikers. Bikers I know would be too embarrassed to sue if they got destroyed by someone they had outnumbered 5 to 1. Their reputation within the club and the reputation of the club itself would suffer badly as a result. They'd be a laughing stock among One Percenters. Are you really Billy Badass or was this a group of fat, burnt out, 50 year old slugs masquerading as bikers?

it was a group of 60 year old school teachers and retied accountants cosplaying as bikers

>ctrl+f
>"fake"
>0 results

Come on. Fake story.

they'll probably go on about how you should have asked for ID or talked to them first, but fuck that shit. they started it, ask any cop about what he thinks of cunts acting tough and you'll get tales of cunts getting slammed against cell walls.

its not hard to beat up a few 60 year olds mate

I have a lot of experience with Canada courts, not exactly the same but

First of all, did you make a statement to police?, did you make it clear you felt in danger and no way to escape? most people fuck themselves with thr own statement

Second , to take something to trial will be about 100 k cana bucks(70 k burgers ), if they offer you 1 year probation or some shit for pleading out, or 5 years if you go to trail and lose you wanna roll them dice?

Third, what did the atm cam get, or other cams, if it shows you could have run, fucked

As someone with some criminal experience I wwld have played it like this, not that I cld have beat them all up, but if I did, CALL THE POLICE FIRST, it matters more to arresting officers then the courts but it matters. Then spin hard to your favor, make like your hiding down the street from them because still scuurd, don't call from standing over them. Then I would for sure claim one of them had a gun, you my think that's pushing it to lie like that but people thk they see a gun or knife all the timewhen scared , most are cops lol, so when they figure thr was no gun you wont be in trouble for it , it will still count as you felt danger, and last I wld make the point that I felt surrounded and had to fight for my life

Canadian criminal , AMA

well, your first mistake was giving roaches money for food.

atms have camaras

most of the time in australia they're placed a few meters behind the ATM, a little bit to the side, and pointing to the ATM. the assumption is that buildings around the ATM will provide more CCTV coverage. if he was outside a supermarket and he made the first lunge out of the CCTV coverage it won't do him any good

THIS
youtube.com/watch?v=mVbo3YK0GgQ