Life in the early 11th century

> You will never join a group of companions on the road to Italy to make passage to Jerusalem. While stoping to camp out in a cozy French forest in winter time

Holy shit. Why even live? Did Europeans in 1100 have the best timeline?

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>implying you wouldn't be a serf who lives his entire life on a farm

>ywn strike out from the steppe and forge a massive empire, punishing everyone in your way

Really though, Genghis Khans ride to power is amazing

Yeah, I always wonder what it would be lile to live in squalor and die of the bubonic plague at the ripe old age of 28
sry family just bustin your balls, it'd be interesting for sure and ive wondered myself. If youre really interested, read a couple of books by Ken Follett called The Pillars of the Earth and World without End.

>join a group of companions
>things going well
>then get a splinter in your foot
>it's get infected
>you die a slow agonizing death as the infection spreads up your leg
>it becomes black and necrotic
>every second is pure agony
>can barely walk even with help
>companions abandon you
>die covered in filth unknown, unmourned, and unloved on the side of the road
Yea Ima pass

this

William Marshal 1st Earl of Pembroke was the top dog

Anyone was free to crusade. Even peasants.

GOAT Knight

TYRANT

His empire was shit. He was leader of a bunch of horse niggers that basically destroyed the most advanced nation on the planet with their god damn gook horse bullshit.

Fuck the mongolians.

Stories and legends tend to gloss over the fact that people died to random bullshit all the time.

Huh?

This

I wouldnt even want to go back 150 years.

Read up on the death of William Henry Harrison. The past sucked.

I mean an epic poem about William the Wanderer that ends 2 months into his journey after he succumbs to infection doesn't sound too riveting so I can see why they glossed over it

Obviously not advanced enough to stop a bunch of horse niggers

Whats that shit I always hear on this board?

>might makes right

>While stoping to camp out in a cozy French forest in winter time

That actually sounds awful.

95% of Sup Forums would be shitposting on their parchment about how all these crusaders are being used by the jews.

>severe dental pain
>infections
>parasites in food or water
>religious fanaticism
>hairy women
>huge rift between the wealthy and the poor
>violence not uncommon
>cold
>bad food
hardships aplomb

no son, folks back then were well aware of when to remove an infected limb. "Wound management" was far more aggressive prior to true understanding of pathogens.

> Waaa I don't want to die for something that matters like crusading for the holy city. I just want to type on Sup Forums and eat hotpockets and die of heart disease at the age of 65 like the pathetic fat bitch I am.

Fixed

>The Crusades
>early 11th century
Stop reminding everyone how shit our education system is.

>Waaa I don't want to die for something that matters like crusading for the holy city.

>he thinks it mattered

This. Things that we take completely for granted today were killing people left and right back in the day.

Not to mention massive malnutrition from birth. Vitamin deficiency wasn't even limited to serfs, nobility didn't exactly have balanced diets all the time.

>cozy

Bitch Atlantis was super advanced and that shit went away over night to a fucking tsunami.

>join a group of companions
>things going well
>then get a splinter in your foot
>it's get infected
>your companions take you to a town with a doctor
>it's the fucking barber
>he says there's nothing he can do and he'll have to amputate
>don't have enough money to pay for the amputation and enough alcohol to black out
>luckily there's a special, get an amputation and get a haircut free
>hey doc when you're done sawing through my femur while I'm wide awake take some off the top
>bite on a piece of wood while a flamboyant, uneducated homo goes to town on leg with a bone saw
>pass out
>wake up hours later
>almost died from blood loss
>crippled for life, can't continue on my adventure, can't work as a serf in the fields for my lord
>amputation gets infected
>haircut looks like shit
>die in agony months later without a leg and a shitty haircut
Yea once again, Ima pass

What you stupid bitch? Use Google.

>bad food
People forget this all the time. Food in the early middle ages was dogshit, unless you love barley porridge, bread, sops, pease, and cabbage.

You are just pussified by the luxuries of the 1st world SOCIETY.

thanks for clarifying, that's more like it

>get an amputation and get a haircut free
kek

Nothing matters because the universe exists for no reason and the earth will eventually be wiped out.

You see how gay that ideology is? So fuck off. Crusading did matter.

Might be better than a serf who lives his entire life behind a laptop.

nigga i love that shit

>no running water, no dental hygiene, no protection from STDs or infections
What a time to live!

>pooinloo
>loving food without heaping curry spices all over it
Not buying it Pajeet.

>You'll never die at the age of 9 of an unknown affliction because the doctor thought that slitting your wrists was a valid cure

Yes, such great times

>every village is a community
>nationalism is the norm, not the exception
>race is a known fact of life
>over a quarter of the days of the year are religious holiday/feast days
>no sugar
>no caffeine
>no high fructose corn syrup
>women are esteemed and protected
>men are raised to be valorous warriors

>religious fanaticism
>hairy women
>huge rift between the wealthy and the poor
>violence not uncommon
>cold
but these are all good

Bitch up until 80 years ago people died of infection.

IT'S ALMOST HARVESTING SEASON

I walked barefoot in Asia for 3 years, feet were like leather, could stand on black pavement on the hottest day. Got stuff in my feet all the time, but it wouldn't penetrate. We get shit now because our soles are so thin. Besides, I think out immune systems are FAR weaker now.

then pretend he got a cut or something the reason for the infection doesn't really matter. Also why did walk barefoot in Asia for 3 years?

Yes but 80 years ago the doctor wasn't a barber who never went to med school

Vikings had a good way of life too. They accomplished a lot.

Now look at you... Sad!

Under rated

All fun and games until you get a toothache

100 the doctor was the barber.

The eleven hundreds are the twelfth century.

ITT: American education.

Ah yes I do recall the hospitals of WWI were filled with barbers with no medical training

It all seems cool when you think about it, but I'm not trying to die from strep throat before I get to Jerusalem. If you went back in time and actually ate the food or drank the water, I highly doubt you would go a day without dysentery or some kind of poisoning

>nationalism was the norm

LOL no it was better than that. The communities were even more independent and bound together than today. Subsidiarity was the norm. Much better than nationalism.

>Did Europeans in 1100 have the best timeline?
>Best option in life was to walk thousands of miles to be stabbed by a kebab

nah

Modern Europeans are much smarter, they import kebabs to kill them in Europe. Now they don't to go on such a long walk

>chinggis khaan
>11th century

that's the temporal distance between us and your civil war.

Walk from Europe to Jeruslam with ass chafing from diarrhea. Fight Moops wearing heavy cotton tunics and chain mail in 110 degree heat. Only get to drink water once a day.

Friends say fuck it, wear robes, and live in palaces drinking and fucking exotic hookers the rest of their lives. You walk back to Europe to work the land, be nagged by your wife, and told by your Priest you are going to Hell if you fuck up.

Painful truths

German efficiency at work

Aw you just mad cos the Holy Roman Emperor fell off his horse and drownded like a stupid cunt Hans.
Meanwhile young Longshanks fighting off assassins and bitch slapping Saracens.
Anglo-Saxons eternally > basic Kraut
Prove me wrong by winning a war some time.
Also what happened to all those fine universities of yours? Pretty sure burger is all over you when it comes to education cunt.
Anglo education = best education.

>ywn get to live in a Skyrim-like timeline
>ywn be apart of a valorous group of companions who go on quests to serve your hold's Jarl
>ywn be the knight you fights with honor
>ywn be the mage who uses magic to bend the world around him
>ywn be the assassin who works in the shadows
>ywn get a plot of land and house for your service to your people
>ywn raise a small family with your nordic wife and live off the land for the rest of your days
>ywn become the man of legends

BWAH GOD AUSSIE THAT KRAUT HAD A FAMILY

Didn't women get raped often back then when bandits and shit stomped through the farmlands?

>ywn ride side by side with William the conqueror after having raped some Anglo wenches

Why even live?

I was really disappointed by that movie, it's a giant fucking muslim religion of peace garbage

Fuck...

>hairy women
You mean thicc, odoriferous women. Even better

What the sauce, op?

Looks comfy

>While stoping to camp out in a cozy French forest in winter time

There's nothing cozy about sleeping outdoors in a forest in the winter.

I used to be a Buddhist monk, the rules were that you couldn't wear shoes or sandals, which everyone did anyway, but I guess I was looking for some type of authenticity. In retrospect, it was egotistical to do so.

>implying even being born in Europe back then

it is if you do it right

soft modern man

neurons and shit

This.

You were lucky if you made it to adulthood

>Buddhist monk
>now shitposts on Sup Forums
Bruh what happened

what film

How others lived then I cannot live as I am now, and were I offered the opportunity to be reborn for the time, I should do well to decline.

Movie is kingdom of heaven you dumb euroshits

BTFO, at least serfs doing manual labor have functional strength from working all the time. Serfs behind laptops are skinnyfat betas.

Thanks

>11th century
>theoretically be a free warrior, in practice have to steal horse and equipment to be able to show up at maneuvers lest demoted to peasant
>we poor now because no raids on the west for decades, emperor Konrad put an end to them
>fucking emperor Konrad
>civil war between eastern orthodox and catholic fractions ended with the victory of the latter.
>tengriists sided with the orthodox, german immigrant knights with the catholics.
>fucking german knights
>tengriism is outlawed, we theocracy now. can't sacrifice white horse at the crossroads anymore. anyway, white horses heavily guarded, stealing impossible
>every ten villages must build a church
>king takes umbrage at our moving away in disgust from the church we just built.
>chief Vatha starts a movement to sacrifice the king according to khazarian custom as he has ruled for the maximum allowed 40 years.
>mfw christians disagree violently with such a reasonable initiative
>the king dies of natural causes
>fucking natural causes
>the only male offspring of the house of Árpád are tengriists in exile in Poland
>they return, seize the throne. everybody start looking for white horses and crossroads
>hopeful pagan king goes full metal christian on our asses, poles converted him in exile
>fucking poles
>pechenegs to be settled in the country, fleeing the cumans
>they keep stealing our horses
>fucking pechenegs
>my legs hurt

tfw wanna watch a good medieval movie but i have seen them all.

17th century is undoubtedly the best century to live in

The entire world had pretty much just opened up and everything was possible
>join the navy and see the world you've only heard tales about?
sure
>join a whaling ship and hunt whales all over the globe and dock in harbors all over the world where you could spend all your money on booze and exotic hookers?
fucking go for it
>settle the new world and expand the frontier?
onwards!

Kingdom of heaven

>early 11th century
>1100 AD
Pick one.

Also,
>implying you wouldn't get slaughtered by Turks before your even set foot in the Holy Land.

Fuck off, John

I don't know enough about nonwhite history to get this

Peoples crusade was pretty cozy desu

>tfw you'll never join a ragtag band of children and peasants beant on conquering Jerusalem
>singing hymns and talking about jesus while you dream of seeing the beauty that is Jerusalem and the land of milk and honey
>then being completely slaughtered by seljuks while in absolute panic since none of us actually had any training or even weapons/armor

Nothing's stopping you from sleeping in the woods or going barefoot across Europe today.

do you really think most of pol sees this as a bad thing? rape of women is only a problem if its your women and not your penis.

>nonwhite

also, obscure details are the very flesh of any decent historical narrative.

If you honestly think this, you really should make yourself a genetic dead end - because you're halfway there.

It just not the same

Working all the time won't give you functional strength at all. Everyone who does army training does exhausting exercises and labor 12 hours a day on a calorie deficient diet.

When we finished 18 months of that, we could will our bodies to move and perform, but as for functional strength, nope. Very little gym strength either.

The answer? Do all that, plus REST AND EAT, which we nor peasants did. Excuse me now, there's a high test thread I'm monitoring on /fit/

If it weren't Khan we'd all be Muslim right now

I like you. Got any more stories?

hunting jews for sport and loot? shure , it was a glorious time to be alive

It would be great if they had computers and healthcare, but as the based historian David starkey said: the only periods in history I would like to live in is any time after anasthetic was invented

>tfw you are office bydlo and you will never kill an muslim dogs for byzantine emperor

Yes the Mongols who tried to enslave Europe ended up saving it by sacking Baghdad and otherwise messing up the Islamic world.

Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here!

youtube.com/watch?v=Vl4ufIrMtXg


> Did Europeans in 1100 have the best timeline?

OP, you are LITERALLY retarded. You have no fucking clue at all. Could you at least finish remedial preschool history before coming here and creating shit threads?

> Europeans in 1100
> Europeans in 1100

1100. Europe. "Comfy."

Jesus fucking Christ. Every single person on Sup Forums would have been burned alive, if they were even that lucky, for being degenerate and godless.