Jury Duty

I got called for bullshit jury duty and I don't think I have a good excuse for that day. Can I just say I'm a Nazi when they start questioning me? Or maybe I'm an anarchist and don't believe in the court system and will automatically say not guilty no matter what. That will surely get me dismissed right? I'm not testing my luck and getting dragged into the next OJ trial and getting imprisoned in a hotel for a fucking year of my life.

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if its a nig convict it is as simple as that lad

You're absolutely correct friend. What you've listed I would absolutely work. Just be sure to show strong bias everytime some thing's asked and you'll be kicked out in no time. I'd recommend waiting to see if there are some qt 3.14s though.

Just go 1hr late....it is not a job they cannot fire you. I went in a hour late and they already picked who they needed. I just had to sit an hour and was told see ya in 6 years

Ask about jury nullification.

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>jury DUTY
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DUTY DUTY DUTY DUTY DUTY
DUTY DUTY DUTY


"rights" were a mistake

Or maybe you could face your civic duty like an upatanding citizen.

When you get the opportunity (assuming it's a criminal case), just say that you were raised to have great respect for the police, and that based on [any experience you've had with law enforcement ever in your life], you would of course believe anything a police officer said.

haha he said doody

Tell them you know about jury nullification. They'll dismiss you immediately

I wouldn't try that. It borders on obstruction; judges have heard that all before. You will not be able to consistently answer the questions that you will get in response, and you might even find yourself in a cell.

Remember - you're new to this. Judges and prosecutors definitely are not.

I went to jury duty and sat through some bullshit traffic cases despite not being picked to the jury. Hearing some retard try to argue a traffic ticket using some asinine pseudo-philosophical argument was absolute comedy gold, however.

This man is cucked. Stand by your word, play retarded if you have to (it's easier than staying, which you're allowed to do), just act serious and push your ideals, they can't do shit.
T. has been arrested 3 times

*Easier than staying silent

Go to it for the lols, and always side with the cops

Another thing--there was this Mexican lady next to me who kept saying to the Mexican defendant "go back to Mexico" and "you're a stupid idiot" sort of under her breath and then laughing. She spoke with a heavy Spanish accent too, it was bizarre

Don't show up, that's what I did. No one came and broke down my door.

It's your duty dude. You might find yourself at the other end of the law one day and you need to understand that good people are NEEDED on juries. JUST. FUCKING. GO. Shut up, say what you need to to get on the jury, and then do what is RIGHT.

just say you know the defendant and you get out

I've been summoned twice and didn't go to either one and I haven't heard anything since. I know I have no warrants cause I've been pulled over years after I no showed and the cops always let me go.

>Just go 1hr late....it is not a job they cannot fire you
They can arrest you for contempt of court

Why not just go you fucking piece of shit? But yea just say you hate niggers and believe in jury nullification.

>using a jury and not a trained professional to decide the verdict

mfw ameritards and britbongs defend this

You spoiled burger

What I wouldn't give to have the state summon me to convict a dindu and get a free lunch on top of that

>Germans are proud that an unelected Jew decides their fate instead of other Germans

just talk loudly about jury nullification. two birds with one stone.

I got kicked off a jury for this.

Just say you believe in the death penalty no matter what you're asked. Also mention you think the firing squad should be brought back.

OP here. I'm gonna try my shitty excuse and if it doesn't work Ill just wear my fedora and go on about jury nullification and try to sound like a stubborn cunt.

>well educated experienced professional
vs
>a literal mob which decides based on what they saw people in suits on tv say and based on peer pressure
everything besides louisiana ought to get nuked

Another good one is "I tend to think that if you're on trial, you likely committed a crime"

Defender lawyer will boot you before you finish your sentence

She was probably legal

Also spics hate other spics more than anybody else

yeah thats another one. im thinking of being like. "you know why ive never been arrested, because Ive never done anything wrong."

I genuinely feel sorry for you for being so badly brainwashed. Germany is obvious, but what happened to Croatia and why? You're nobodies.

As a libertarian its my duty to plead not guilty to anyone who is there under a victimless crime.

Its the only way to change the system.

Fuck you non freedom loving faggots.

Mention jury nullification, instant dismissal for everyone.

brainwashed by what? your politicans that promised brexit which wont happen?

I have been called in for jury duty three times in the last four years, everytime I have gotten randomly selected to go home because too many people showed up.

If you're young, just show up in a hoodie and dirty jeans and do your best to look like a skeezy punk who smokes meth. Don't go out of your way to sound like a nigger but don't be articulate either, just answer questions vaguely with a lot of ums and ahs like you don't understand what they're asking. They'll probably dismiss you. Worked for me.

I got called for jury duty for a DUI case. I told them I don't believe in eye witness testimonies unless there is physical proof to back up their claim and I got kicked off.

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Say you will make an excellent juror, because you can spot guilty people *Snap fingers, just like that.

It's all in the eyes.

this. This is guaranteed to get you booted.

Real attorney here, you should do this for the lulz

>not wanting to do your civil duty
It's like you don't want to make America great again.

Just keep saying gas the kikes racewar now. Worked for me.

Prosecutor will strike you before you finish saying "nullification"

You should go there, it's not only your duty, but also possibly a chance the help justice to be served against a dindu, who otherwise get away, while being guilty as hell.

>would get away

The opposite is also true. Prosecution doesn't want someone that is critical of the police.

>getting imprisoned in a hotel for a fucking year of my life.

You would never be sequestered with your permission.

I was on a jury once - It was interesting.

Son of a cop here I will never have to jury duty ever in my entire life
Lawyers immediately nix anyone who is immediately related to a police officer

just say you support jury nullification

speak your mind show your interested in taking part as your civ right, they will ban you for sure.
they want sheep be a wolf.

This is one of the funniest threads I've read in a while. Please keep posting ways to get out of jury duty

This. Im running out of options. Ive been called 4 times in 2 years. Ive just sent the same excuse letter every time. I got like 20 copies ready to send cause these fucks wont leave me alone. My excuse is legit and its not gunna change til im dead. Im about to go full autist and send a letter saying i hate all races and genders including my own and that everyone is guilty if they even have to have a trial. Also ill probably say something about how ill always side with the cop no matter the evidence or just tell them that i dont believe in any evidence and only my good judgement lol.. Idk just some deranged shit like that might make them leave me alone.

Yes you can say anything you want to get out of JD.
You could also sit there rubbing your dick through your pants.
Don't take it out though as they will bust your for indecent exposure.

Simply bring up that you will vote not guilty because you have a right to do jury nullification and want to exercise that right.

Why not just do it? Not like it's a big deal. Takes a couple of hours and you get a chance to convict a nigger to life in prison.

just do it you tool
i got called and did it just for the experience but in the end it was pretty interesting
it was a rape trial and lasted a week so even though i was called up for two weeks they said i didn't have to go for the second week

Just talk about jury nullification and how it's the citizenry's duty to toss out bullshit laws through that legal mechanism.

if you really want to get out of doing your moral duty just say you have work commitments
no need for any of the bull being posted here

>leaving justice in the hands of bureaucrats.

France have jury too I don't see why Louisiana would be different

just repeat everything you've learned from ancap memes, literally say

>do you know what the non aggression principal is? well I won't be on a jury for someone who didn't break the NAP, in fact it breaks the NAP for you to force me to be here, so you should be on trial for kidnapping, but only a privately funded trial, because taxation breaks the NAP

this, you will cause quite the stir

...

Jury duty is a sacred cornerstone of the judicial process which is to say if you get a criminal case and it's a nigger, convict. If white, acquit.

Do this for the lulz, OP

You can be arrested or fined for that, though. Jury duty is actually a legal summons to court. You can't just choose to ignore it without repercussion.

This. Perfect way to be dismissed.

Just call them and tell them you moved to a different county recently. They'll tell you not to come in. You can't be in a jury for a county you don't live in. You likely won't need to show proof either. I didn't when I pulled this stunt.

Tell them you can spot guilty people by how far apart their eyes are and the bumps on their skull. Also the black skin.

Oh please, do this

I would lose my shit laughing if I was the Judge.

This. A million times this. Lawyers want jurors who have enough basic intelligence to understand their arguments and evidence. They don't want jurors who are intelligent enough or confident enough to start poking holes in their arguments. So, yeah. If you sound *too* excited to be on jury duty, one or the other of the lawyers is going to boot you.

Also, the odds of you getting stuck in a hotel for a year are basically nil. At the very worst, you might lose a week or maybe two weeks.

do your fucking duty, faggot, and stop trying to shirk.

>jury nullification
Brought up the wiki article.
How can we leverage jury nullification in our fight against regressive Leftism?

you basically manage to get 12 people who agree with you on the jury. which is really, really difficult to do.

and if jury nullification starts getting used a lot, they'll get rid of it

They can't, it'll literally throws out any conceived justice system of trial by jury.

Do your civic duty. Don't be a nigger.

>when you have jury duty with taylor swift and she tells you how much she hates jews and niggers but its illegal for you to tell anyone what was discussed in the closed room

In my experience if you look uninterested, like staring at the ceiling, or make weird facial expressions or otherwise look slightly weird, they'll tend to skip you.

thats why op should go to jury duty

this
I never go. I will think about it if they send the notice via certified mail

I refused to agree to certain sections of the paperwork they sent me.

It had a section saying "I agree all the information I furnished is truthful under penalty of perjury."

Niggers, I'm not signing a goddamn, motherfucking THING that has the potential penalty of perjury unless it's been combed over by an attorney.

I crossed that shit off and wrote "I don't agree with this" beside it.

They called me and told me not to show up.

z

I served on a jury and refused to listen to anyone, That nigger was guilty from the moment I set eyes on him. I had to convince two nigger sows that I was right and SEIG HEIL 14/88 WE WANT FASCISM

Just tell them you are a Sup Forums regular. That should do the job.

ask them if you're being detained very loudly.

Say you recognise the defendant.

Yeah and bring a car door in to the court but only roll the window down an inch as required by state law.

>get called for jury duty
>defendant is black man accused of shooting rival gang members at gas station
>jury selection time
>tell the judge id be bias against the defendant if he turned out to be ghetto, as i dislike ghetto black people
>get nasty looks
>got dismissed tho ftw

You don't understand what "perjury" means do you?

I was once a witness in an assault causing bodily harm trial (judge only) and I kept referring to the defendant as the midget (literally 5'4")

After I kept repeating it the défense lawyer asked me to use another term, and I said ok

"The manlet..." and judge completely lost it

t. Kept calling him midget and almost made the manlet snap while judge was laughing his ass off

>the govt and justice system sucks and screws us over!
>waa this is BS i have to take part in the judicial process and help decide a court case!

Just show up an make an appropriate choice. What if some nog gets off with murder because of you?

Maybe you'll get a fun trial.

>Takes a couple of hours

Can take months on end depending on how long the rap sheet is.

>if you get a criminal case and it's a nigger, convict. If white listen to the facts and decide based on what they can prove

fixed
there are plenty of white niggers out there that deserve to do some time