The fact that these movies were made in the right time is a miracle. If Peter Jackson decided to film the Lotr trilogy in 2017, what would change?
Let me start first.
> Gandalf is obviously gay, wears flowers around head, has queer mannerism.
> Aragorn is black.
> Frodo and Sam develop openly gay relationship.
> OR Frodo is cast as a she-hobbit because muh feminism and a woman would be portraited as suited much better for resisting the power of the One Ring.
> Sauron is a fucking white male.
> Saruman's tower would bare a striking similarity with the Trump Tower.
> Elves would stay white to promote the fact that it's a dying race (Elves leaving the Middle Earth) and the only solution is for white women (Arwen) to seek a life with the bbc (Aragorn).
> Elrond would be even bigger cuck and look like Carl.
> Rohan and Gondor folk would be multiracial.
> (((they))) would draw paralels of how the One Ring is similar to wedding rings and therefore needs to be destroyes to get rid of marriages.
> Eowyn will have big muscles, shaved blonde hair and be a lesbian.
> Shire is a socialist paradise, everyone shares everything with the community, so there will be no disputes about the inheritance of Bilbo's house.
LOTR SJW THREAD
Other urls found in this thread:
Damn. This made me wanna throw up
SJW's would find the lack of Trans in your list "problematic"
Bump
Open borders for Gondor, there are rapes and murders but any resistance is punished by the Tower of Colour
the orcs are all wearing MAGA hats and the hobbits are refugees from violence in the shire but the bad orcs won't let them in
A picture from the trailer for the new lord of the rings game...these two are obviously of the good people, probably both people of Gondor.
Fucking leftists.
yeah it's sad that the hobbits was not so lucky
Good catch.
> Legolas would be a man who wants to be a woman, so xe wears a skirt but doesn't shave xis legs to show that his journey into transculture is only at the beginning.
> Gimly would be a hardcore right-winger at first but slowly falls for Legolas and at the end they get together.
"I never thought I'd die side a side with a trans."
"How about side by side with your love?"
"Aye... I could do that."
...
Jesus Christ
wew user slow dont
WE WUZ DUNEDAIN 'N' SHIEEET
I actually like those changes and I love LotR.
It's impossible for me to watch LOTR without seeing it through the lens of the 2016 election. I watched those movies a lot last year. The parallels are insane.
I decided to give the Hobbit movies another chance recently. They're still dumb, but much better the second time around. I was really enjoying them until Thorin's speech in that town in the 2nd one, when suddenly there are non-whites in Middle Earth. That Peter Jackson tried to just slip it in there was the worst thing about it. Dropped.
tolkiens are trad catholics
they feel uncomfortable with the films as it is now
they would never allow something like this
At least with pugs you can blame Morgoth. But it's more complicated with niggers.
Reminder that black persons do appear in LOTR. This is from the chapter "The Black Gate Is Closed".
>Sauron is a fucking white male
That's actually what he normally looks like without the armor. And he uses his appearance partially to Jew out both the elves and the numenorians.
Who now can stand against the armies of Isengard (Drumpf tower/White House) and Mordor (Moscow)? The might of Sauron and Saruman. The Union of the two towers...together my lord Sauron (Putin) we will rule this Middle Earth.
I thought nothing could trigger me any more
I was SO wrong
Well, I'll never watch LOTR ever again now. Thanks a bunch, fucker.
> Ents from the green party "Fangorn" would put embargo on Mordor because Sauron's industry is high on emissions and cause global warming.
I'm gonna guess that kid has been passed around like a blunt in a frat party.
>"I never thought I'd die side a side with a trans."
>"How about side by side with your love?"
>"Aye... I could do that."
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
But why are you so good at writing this... you work in marketing for a leftist agency or something?
> Sauron is a fucking white male.
He already is
whoosh
That's true, even one Ringwraith, Khamul, is a black Easterling in the books but they are depicted as evil, so it's good.
gotta love lotr..
>basically all the main characters are fair skinned males
>no even implications of gay or trans characters
>women are primarily housekeepers and maids (and yes that is a focal point of the story, ie eowyn's story arc)
>even when women are strong (galadriel) their primary purpose is usually healing
>the only humans that are potentially black or brown (haradrim) are fucking evil
>most of the races live in their own isolated regions and openly dislike one another (ie dwarves and elves)
is this /our fantasy/
This gave me cancer
...
The Ring is power/corruption/globalist influence. Aragorn is Trump. Sauron is Soros/Rothschilds. Wormtongue is Yeb. DNC is Gollum. I think the four hobbits represent Trump supporters. Saruman is Hillary.
Who is Bernie? Ted? Ben Shapiro?
fuck me its so odd i just retwached the trilogy these past 3 days and thought to myself how this would have been ruined if it was made around these times
however i did notice something
towards the third movie orcs and goblins were beggining to look more white-ish green-ish rather than black and the whole eowyn "no men can ever kill me " ex machina was kinda feminist leaning , also the gay vibe that was getting stronger between sam and frodo in the last movie was begining to be more and more apparent
its like (((their)) claws were seeping closer with the third movie through subliminal messages but gladly it wasnt so blatant
> At the end the Black gates of Mordor will crumble to symbolise the fall of the Mexico border wall and free borders.
Gandalf is Kek
Kek is the only real-life entity who could be powerful enough to guide Trump like Gandalf guided the Fellowship
Why ARE liberals like this, anyway? Why do they want to turn every piece of are into social justice shit?
What makes their psychology so different from right-wing folks?
The Orcs would be humanized. We would see Sauruman THE WHITE abusing his poor Urak-Hai slaves and be made to empathize with them.
LotR films are literally my favorite of all-time. I've been noticing some troubling themes lately though.
>"men of the west"
>easterlings described by Gollum as "wicked men" and "servants of Sauron" appear Arab or Persian
>orcs and uruks have dark skin and rough features almost like aborigini
>dwarves=greedy Jews?
I still notice good themes too
>enviornmetalism and the Ents
>elves, men, dwarves, and hobbits joining together to fight a common enemy
>Eowyn and feminism
>gandalf's message to Frodo about Gollum in Moria
I see Trump as either Sauron, Saruman, or Lord Denethor (paranoid illegitimate ruler with two sons). Hillary was galadriel. Instead of a Dark Lord we would have a queen...
read the unabomber's manifesto
Yep it would be impossible to make a LOTR movie now
Thought of shoehorning saRUMAN OF MANY COLOURS with a rainbow clothes instead of white there but we can't have a gay antagonist, it would be rasist.
In all seriousness aside from that bit of political correctness the game looks amazing.
>my sides
Sauron was importing Africans into Europe to fight Europeans.
rly makes u tink
>everyone is black
Frodo and Sam would be legit homo. They would literally have a sex scene when smeagal was introduced.
ITT. drumpfs
smeagal bukkakes on both sam and frodo
yOU have descended into the abyss
and came to share it with us
Plus Saruman with his genetic engineering by racemixing orcs with humans.
with his puppet saruman with that (((big nose))
guised as one of the good wizards
coincidence???
I have been thinking of this so much after rewatching them a while back. Putting in and replacing characters with stronk independant retards because of their genitalia and/or ethnicity but not for their fitting traits. Would be a fucking disaster.
Won't suprise me with the matrix reboot featuring a black male as lead.
We'll have black gandalf going shieeet. I ain't never done actin befoe
Requesting someone please create a Saruman merchant.
Calling it now = Donald Glover is the new Neo
> Gandalf returns stronger.
> Returns more white.
It hurts that it's actually plausible that they would do something like that indeed.
Don't feed the jews.
I know who donald glover is but,
it's already been confirmed one of those Negroes from one of those black movies this year nobody saw.
I reverse searched that image and found one of the most degenerate things I have ever seen
instagram. com/johnnysjoys/?hl=en
we those and more to combat anything JK rowling or any other leftie throws around with their harry potter references
Tolkien is /ourguy/
The scene where the Ringwraiths come to the beds, where the Hobbits are supposedly sleeping would be showed as a rape attemp and black Aragorn would voice-over it that white males are vicious scum.
i've been making this connection for years. but i'm not the first. traditionally white skin is connected with royalty.
>White skin -> you stay inside a lot -> you can afford not to work -> you are royal
>Tan skin -> You are outside working the fields -> you are a pleb
>also the gay vibe that was getting stronger between sam and frodo in the last movie was begining to be more and more apparent
If you were starting to think there was a gay vibe between Frodo and Sam then you are a fucking retard. Holy fuck its like people who think this have never had a strong friendship.
tfw transgendered brother and sister created one of the most based live action trilogy
>Gandalf is Muslim
>Saruman now has an orange face, comb over and small hands
>Orcs have become white male rapists
>Boromir stays a white male
>Faramir is trans
>Gollum is a pedophile but it's okay and everyone accepts him anyway
>the only ring he's after is Frodo's sweet butt ring
I wish my hate could kill this thing.
In this era, Sauron cannot use his fair appearance, so he is ugly black under his armor. At least in canon.
Though his Mairon / Annatar form is a grill's dream (Lenny face)
Thanks for the tip, bro. I think I read this years ago before taking the red pill; re-reading it now, I'm blown away by his insight & prescience
It just gets worse and worse
It's an eye-opener, and an easy read besides.
Casual as fuck. It's shit and too ez.
Shadow of mordor for was terrible for that same reason
Well yeah, notice the older gay male wearing the necklace? That's part of the whole boy love procedure.
not every liberal is like this
but too much liberty and freedoms breed insanity
Well, there were no niggers in the Hobbit either. Which is somewhat surprising.
Actually, the Tolkien works remain to be very inspirational to all white bros. No niggers, no gooks, - apart from the orks of course. And if there were some gay people, they weren't fucking shouting about it and waving dicks covered in glitter in front of a camera.
JJR himself definitely was /ourguy/, methinks.
shut up leaf, you are not welcome here,
Fuck you for being right
One word.
Tauriel.
> Women would fight besides men.
> They would show men dying but never women to show how they're much better at men's job, if given the same opportunity.
> They will show muscular head-shaved white men shaking in fear in the caves during the Helm's deep battle instead of women and children to show how nazis are weak.
we don't speak of those films
Now silently the host of Rohan moved forward into the field of Gondor, pouring in slowly but steadily....
After a while the king led his men away somewhat eastward, to come between the fires of the siege and the outer fields. Still they were unchallenged, and still Théoden gave no signal.... A smell of burning was in the air and a very shadow of death. The horses were uneasy. But the king sat upon Snowmane, motionless, gazing upon the agony of Minas Tirith, as if stricken suddenly by anguish, or by dread. He seemed to shrink down, cowed by age. Merry himself felt as if a great weight of horror and doubt had settled on him.... They were too late! Too late was worse than never!....
Then suddenly Merry felt it at last, beyond doubt: a change. Wind was in his face! Light was glimmering....
But at that same moment there was a flash, as if lightning had sprung from the earth beneath the City. For a searing second it stood dazzling far off in black and white, its topmost tower like a glittering needle: and then as the darkness closed again there came rolling over the fields a great boom.
>Orcs would be albino-white
>Gandalf flirts with Elrond, not Lady Galadriel
>Merry and Pippin are more than "vaguely queer"
>Sam marries Frodo instead of that tall-ish hobbit chick
>Gondor is a kangz kingdom
>Rohan turns into Chinatown
>Gimli is the mandatory "Strong willed low functioning adult" character
>Legolas is utterly gay for Aragorn
>Aragorn is a Hispanic
>The Shire is depicted as a postmodernist concrete jungle with Marxist flags
>Saruman is a literal Nazi and has a Goebbels portrait and Orthanc is built in the shape of a giant black swastika
>Sauron's eye is a dollar sign and his fortress is a giant factory complex
This would be more likely. Cracked already tried to pull some of this "Why the orcs aren't the bad guys" shit in their After Hours show.
The one guy there who knew what he was talking about was summarily shut down because the "lets just focus on the movies so we can frame it how ever we want" rule was in place.
Horse-shittery. SJW types have no business in Tolkien. It's quite literally over their heads.
>I see Trump as either Sauron, Saruman, or Lord Denethor
Completely inapplicable. You're a retard.
At that sound the bent shape of the king sprang suddenly erect. Tall and proud he seemed again; and rising in his stirrups he cried in a loud voice, more clear than any there had ever heard a mortal man achieve before:
Arise, arise, Riders of Théoden!
Fell deeds awake: fire and slaughter!
spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered,
a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!
Ride now, ride now! Ride to Gondor!
With that he seized a great horn from Guthláf his banner-bearer, and he blew such a blast upon it that it burst asunder. And straightway all the horns in the host were lifted up in music, and the blowing of the horns of Rohan in that hour was like a storm upon the plain and a thunder in the mountains.
Ride now, ride now! Ride to Gondor!
Suddenly the king cried to Snowmane and the horse sprang away. Behind him his banner blew in the wind, white horse upon a field of green, but he outpaced it. After him thundered the knights of his house, but he was ever before them. Éomer rode there, the white horsetail on his helm floating in his speed, and the front of the first éored roared like a breaker foaming to the shore, but Théoden could not be overtaken. Fey he seemed, or the battle-fury of his fathers ran like new fire in his veins, and he was borne up on Snowmane like a god of old, even as Oromë the Great in the battle of the Valar when the world was young. His golden shield was uncovered, and lo! it shone like an image of the Sun, and the grass flamed into green about the white feet of his steed. For morning came, morning and a wind from the sea; and the darkness was removed, and the hosts of Mordor wailed, and terror took them, and they fled, and died, and the hoofs of wrath rode over them. And then all the host of Rohan burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them, and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the City.
But what's really wrong with Tauriel?
Yep, the character is dumb and made up to create a love triangle or some shit. But at least she is not an elf negress.
What I didn't really like in her story is that she fell in love with that dead dwarf, what's his name? I think elven maiden would never do that, it's almost as bad as fucking a nigger.
im glad for one thing
theres no way in any fucking way even if somehow lets assume Disney acquire the rights to the franchise (god forbid) and tries to do as what OP said, it would never be able to recreate the samemagic Peter jackson has alreayd managed
the music + the ambiance + the perfect execution of the story - as it stands now the trilogy is a masterpiece and you cant ever recreate this masterpiece
surely they can pull lowblows like the shadow of mordor game or the "tolkien black guy" in the hobbit but (((they`ll)) never be able to corrupt this perfect trilogy
>mfw that speech is not-so-subtly inspired by nordic folk text Havamal
based norse mythology
...
Those "films" were abysmal, never speak of them again.
She is racemixing traitor to the fair race of elves.
Movies were gayer than shit already, once I saw Game of Thrones I knew Tolkein was now relegated to baby's first fantasy series.
But there is Silmarillion which they can screw with.
>movies
>saw GoT
The audacity of this nigger.
Kiril Yeskov is the true patrician answer.
Tolkien's language is masterful though.
aww shieet it's actually from the text called Völuspa. srry Anons:
>Brothers shall strive | and slaughter each other;
>Own sisters' children | shall sin together;
>Ill days among men, | many a whoredom:
>An axe-age, a sword-age, | shields shall be cloven;
>A wind-age, a wolf-age, | ere the world totters.
> Maedhros and Fingon are gay for each other.
> White Valar are in marriages but don't reproduce.
> Melkor a bright Vala wants to fuck and have white babies.
> Melkor gets thrown out of Valinor.
Ken. Sauce?
Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water.
As much as I'd love to believe that these are just Sup Forums stereotypes, they're not.
Lefties for some fucking reason cannot understand the concept of brotherhood. As autistically fedora as it sounds, they just can't.
>ex-gf watching (((Sherlock)))
>omg Sherlock and Watson are clearly gay
>Try to explain that being bros that respect each other isn't gay, especially when they get torn up about not having a gf
>THAT JUST MEANS THEY'RE MEANT TO BE BUTTBUDDIES REEEEEEE