Anthony Weiner, the disgraced Democrat who can’t seem to go a year without texting some unsuspecting young girl a picture of his penis, has disappeared from his daily life.
According to the US Marshal’s Service, Weiner has been taken into protective custody and placed in a safe house until he can testify against Hillary Clinton and his estranged wife, Huma Abedin.
Weiner, whose laptop was seized over a sex scandal last year, was found to be in possession of eleventy thousand top-secret emails that could have brought America to its knees had they fallen into enemy hands. The emails were found to have been copied directly from Hillary Clinton’s private server.
Weiner, in a sworn federal affidavit, claimed that the emails were put there by Abedin to protect Clinton and that if he didn’t keep his mouth shut he would be “joining Vince Foster.”
Clinton is expected to be charged with corruption, murder and perjury at some point in 2017. Congressman Trey Gowdy has just ordered another $11 million in investigations to seal the deal.
After he testifies, Weiner will enter the witness protection program. Sources inside the Marshal’s service say he has already requested plastic surgery on both his face and his junk so there’s no chance he could be recognized should his texting addiction see a relapse.
>he has already requested plastic surgery on both his face and his junk so there’s no chance he could be recognized >and his junk
fucking kek. you had me up until that point. >i want to believe
Ethan Flores
wasn't this known months ago, like back in December I remember someone making a thread about this
In either case, what comes next will be interesting...
Jose Garcia
>eleventy
u wot m8?
Colton Cruz
>eleventy thousand
Cameron Anderson
Eleven* check your spelling
Gavin Rivera
Topic being slid.
Josiah Evans
Actually heard an interesting theory that the whole eeiner thing was engineered ny trump team and possibly russia in order to force commey to announce reopening the clinton investigation. The central claim is that the underage texting bit was suspiciously like a catfish, and no way knew some of the shit that was spewed and weiner saw thru it. The fbi needed to have a reason to search his computer, normal sexting scandal wouldnt do it. Needed to be criminal. Anyway cant say i buy it but interesting theory
Someones already taken a kneecap. Did he learn his lesson you think?
Evan Adams
Also look at his hips, Flackjacket tails?
Caleb Lee
>requested plastic surgery on both his face and his junk i don't believe you, sauce or its fake
Juan Wilson
> Sources inside the Marshal’s service say he has already requested plastic surgery on both his face and his junk so there’s no chance he could be recognized should his texting addiction see a relapse.
Not even TV is this hilarious.
Asher Morris
>usapoliticstoday.com wew lad
Austin Johnson
Poor hopeless Weiner.
Ayden Wood
i feel for this guy a little. i mean even is name means cock so it's hardly suprising he feels the need to send pics of his cock everywhere. also he bitched out a kike while getting a bagel so he can't be all bad.
Eli Smith
It look like it may be
Brandon Foster
DONT LET THIS SLIDE
Ryder Thompson
Not at the eleventy million?
Ryder Murphy
>he has already requested plastic surgery on both his face and his junk so there’s no chance he could be recognized
This is some high quality fake news. The NYT should take note.
