You wake up as Jeb Bush

You wake up as Jeb Bush.
What's the first thing you do?

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Kill myself


Make quac

Inventory all my unsold Guacca-Bowles

find out what it's like to have more than $5 to my name

Getting roped.


Eat quack

Make breakfast guac

Well yeah, using metric will do that.

Take up the Office of the President.

>lost to an orange clown bully with no political experience
>married to a 3 foot goblin
>non of my kids look like me
>dad and brother were presidents, military officers, governors
>i am nothing without my last name

I would kms

Run away from my shitty failed life and start over as a Canadian insurance salesman.

Dump all the miniature turtles out of my pockets. That can't be comfortable

You wake up as John Oliver.
What's the first thing you do?

Divorce my angry midget wife and reinvent myself as a national socialist.

>check calendar
>oh god please be Sunday Funday

Call mummy and tell her about my nightmares, then eat guac with my oatmeal, then put funny colored wigs on my wife as we watch the Trollz show, best day.

Sleep with my beautiful Mexican wife famalam

Realize that at least you're not Anthony Burch

Kill myself.

I go to Whole Foods to pick up ripe (but not too ripe) avocaydos and get to work on my authentic Molcajete I'm expecting guests for Brunch. On my way back from Whole Foods I stop by an Unitarian Church where I pray to keep peas out of my guac, and parvenues out of my club.

>go back to sleep

Someone post the jeb green text that starts off with him contemplating suicide first thing in the morning, deciding not to, and is greeted by trump in his own kitchen, etc.

Take is slow and steady and try not to descend into multiple layers of hatred and depression at the thought that I'm nothing but a meme

Why stop there?

go on TV
say my family and the jews did 911
say the holocaust never happened
kill self on live TV

Eat out my goblin wife's crusty fucking taco ass

I send myself that's not bush 30 million dollars of drug money. And then harass black people online.

I clap.



Use all my power and connections to a fight globalism.

Endorse Donald J Trump

Tell my wife's son to clean his room and take out the trash. Then when he emasculates me with dominant yelling I just do it for him.

All western countries except for one use the metric system. That one country elected Donald J. Trump as its president. Coincidence? I think not.

I go to my therapist to continue discussing the fact that my drunken brother with the coke problem got to be prezer, and that my own mom sabottaged my one chance at the White House. On my way back i smash a little black girl's face like an unripe avocaydo on a Molcajete.

Anyone mention guac yet?!

I second this. Just imagine the schockwave it would cause. And the memes, of course

Make guac.

Surge into the nearest toilet

>check on my wife's new slave
>seems to be enjoying her troll brothers and sisters
>untie and spoon feed guac
>she claps without prompting
>best day

>Jeb! posting will never be relevant again


gas the kikes!

Neither will Kasichposting. Why live?



Mexican vs Black street fighting

Go back to sleep and hope to wake up as someone else

Don't forget, one of his daughters is an actual meth addict. How fucking bad do you have to be to fuck up being a Bush and father like Yeb!

Plan to run again in 2020 in an ALL MINORITY Race to the White House

She should've clapped

Go visit Dubya, get high and drunk and do coke with him, big cookout, then go four wheeling on the ranch, shooting guns.


Feed the turtles then feed my turtle, if you know what I mean.

That ain't Chris "Dunkin' Donuts" Christie

Kill myself.

underrated post

not very creative

isn't this more or less the u.s where they stand in the world minus the jeb bush and not actually controlling nations but more so through spheres of influence iTT canada/Mexico etc etc?

Call ICE on my wife.

Make guac and then kill myself

Pretty much this. Start playing with all my money.

Sell my Beer Empire to a South American conglomerate and drop the "s" from my name

Say I'm running for the 2018 presidential race without having pants on and proceed to douse myself in guac

Announce an emergency press conference about the truth behind 9/11

chug a red bull, get that energy up

Every time you post this thread Bush Sr. vents his rage on Trump

I want to see what G.W. painted for Jeb's family. I bet it's funny.

xD fuck drumpf hahahaha am i rite?