Trip to Bongland

>visiting Bongistan
>get to hotel
>can't watch tv because hotel didn't pay tv license
>hear someone yell "Alluha ackbar" outside
>look out window
>watch police officer currently getting beheaded
>a man yells "somebody stop that psycho!"
>other officers arrest man for insulting a Muslim
>head to restaurant
>given bread to start
>look around and see other customers spreading butter with their fingers
>ask waiter for a knife
>"GOOD HEAVENS!" Yells the waiter as he faints.
>Police already on their way to arrest me
>get up from my table, but suddenly I hear "Alluha ackbar!" and building explodes.
>survive but tied up by tablecloth and can't move
>nothing sharp anywhere so chew my way out
>spotted by some medics who were taking care of the peaceful man who survived his suicide and am reported to police for possession of a sharp objects
>have teeth forcefully confiscated
>now with no teeth and covered in debris and shit turning my skin brown, stumble to the airport to go home to my burgers and guns
>get to customs
>"Hello sir. Before we allow you to leave, what was your business here?"
>barely utter the words "p-p-praise allah!"
>white Bong from extremely long line yells "NO HE MUST IMPREGNATE MY WIFE!"
>man is beheaded, but officer agrees "Yes, you must impregnate our women with your superior Halal seed before we let you go
>agree and begin having sex with woman
>as I pull my dick out, the shit and debris has come off and my white cock shows
>"HE'S NOT MUSLIM, HE'S JUST COVERED IN SHIT!" yells another privaledged Bong from the line
>before I can say anything hear "Alluha ackbar!" And a truck of peace slams through the walls hitting me and the long line of people. Man begins stabbing all officers nearby before passing out from exhaustion
>as I bleed to death, see the bearded Asian man carried away by medics and have his cock sucked as well to avoid a sexual emergency

I hate it here.

That was dire.

Well fuck me that was bloody awful

This is part and parcel of living in a big city.

>look around and see other customers spreading butter with their fingers
>ask waiter for a knife
>"GOOD HEAVENS!" Yells the waiter as he faints.

lul

Bravo OP

B
R
A
V
O

Indeed

>visiting America
>get to hotel
>can't watch TV because i don't have a comcast subscription
>hear someone yell "FUCKING COMMUNISTS"
>look out window
>see five surprisingly well developed children throw model planes at nearby building
>police come to arrest them, end up shooting them instead
>head to restaurant
>given cheeseburger to start
>look around and see other customers skinny dipping in a concoction of ketchup, sugar, and coca cola
>ask waiter for a knife
>"Nah buddy you'll need this!" yells the waiter as he throws a pre-NFA full auto M16 at me
>police already on their way to arrest me
>get up from my table, but suddenly I hear "I'M WITH HER!" and the table hoisting a fat woman next to me implodes
>survive but tied up by tablecloth and can't move
>nothing sharp anywhere so chew my way out
>i'm now 500 kg
>spotted by some medics
>have bullets i didn't even know where inside me confiscated
>now with no stomach and covered in debris, stumble to the airport to go home
>get to customs
>"Hello sir, before we allow you to leave, what was your business here?"
>barely utter the words "fucking yank-"
>mexican woman from extremely wide line yells "TERRORIST!"
>five hands get shoved up my ass at once
>before i can scream a plane of peace hits the line
>i get a complementary body bag from the TSA, with the wording "Make sure to tune in for Super Bowl LII!"

>>can't watch TV because i don't have a comcast subscription
we have free public tv

I hope you're safe now

Comcast is for people who NEED thousands of channels they will never use. Any smart american buys a streaming service or a TV antenna

BRRRAAAAAAP

Is this what Americans jerk off to?
Is this the next blacked.com?
Why can't you just get off to page 3 models with their tits out you bloody degenerates.

>>"Nah buddy you'll need this!" yells the waiter as he throws a pre-NFA full auto M16 at me
If only

>pre NFA full auto M16

MUH DICK

>Why can't you

severely underrated

>we have free public tv but the rest of the story is credible.

epic xd put me on the screecap!!!!!!

>i hate it Here
>HERE
Checks flag..

Shit bait .
Up your game silly.

No, it just stood out. I wish I was given free guns. And who eats a burger with a knife?

>extremely wide line

ha

I know why you can't

>posting anorexic women

You got low test or something?

FUUUUCK DELET THIS

maybe this is more up your street

thicccc

That was actually depressing because of the accuracy.

THICC

It's like when you pouring the pancake mix onto the grill

That pic.

...

>>police come to arrest them, end up shooting them instead
Fake and gay, 5 black children would not have enough money to buy model planes.

>visiting Bongistan

Must be hard to read through the tears

I mean i cut it in half sometimes so that i can bite it and not make a mess

Sometimes i just like to stab things while eating them

if you want to not make a mess, eat it upside down. the top of the bun absorbs more grease than the bottom

Bet you cut pizza too

>visit america
>visit africa
>it's the fucking same

its not funny when you try, you just ruined the joke.

>visit united kingdom
>visit middle east
>it's the fucking same

you seem to be unaware that the post isn't the joke, your country is

...

>live in america
>accidentally cut my hand
>gets infected
>cant afford the $10,000 medical bill for a simple doctors appointment
>get sick
>die

you fucking chumps.

>that filename
kek

>live in britain
>accidentally cut my hand
>gets infected
>NHS doesn't get me in for 2 weeks
>get sick
>almost die
>watch a transgender woman walk out after having had a 500,000 pound surgery on my dime

we have basically the same medical system ahmed, i know what the NHS is like

hahha. Nice riposte. Though to be entirely fair it depends where you are in the UK. if youre somewhere like Scotland or Wales youll be largely ok.

If you're somewhere like Birminghamistan or Newcozstzlski or something, you're fucked.

>live down under
>walk outside
>bitten by poisonous spider
>ambulance arrives
>they are feminists and realise I'm male
>they beat the shit out of me
>emu teleports behind me and says
>heh, nothing personal cunt
>dies

...

well that's bollocks...ish

>mexican woman from extremely wide line yells "TERRORIST!"
>five hands get shoved up my ass at once
kek

>Be me
>be so poor you decide to write about it
>be picked up by magazine
>be invited to London, all expenses paid, to a cocktail evening in Pal Mal with some of the UK's finest intellectuals
>decide to red pill intellectuals
>scour the charity shops for suitable clothing
>manage to get remarkably dapper of the pound rail
>travel to London with painful shoes and home made sandwiches
>arrive minutes after islamic bridge of peace incident
> party cancelled
>ask if I can transfer late night return ticket to earlier time. Will cost £150
>wander around London for 8 hours in stupid shoes
> go home.

>"Nah buddy you'll need this!" yells the waiter as he throws a pre-NFA full auto M16 at me

You say that like it's a bad thing.

your nation goes unoticed and is of no way good for the world, kys

i see America is back with it's "banter"

This.
>inb4 MUH 90% WHITE!!!!1!!11!

>have teeth forcefully confiscated
quite liked this bit

needs some work though

there was an attemtp

step it up faggit

we expect better from you straya

say 50 hail abos

Did this really happen?

>visit america
>visit saudi arabia
>it's the fucking same

...

...

10/10 you little prison country.

5/10

KYS xDDDDD!!!312!!@!!!1111
SUP{REEMEEE BANTZ

kek

is this true?

can't decide wehter to feel sorryu for you for missing your swanky faggot party, or sorry that you are some journo fag

At least we didn't lose to a bunch of poorfags and the french

>go to vietnam
>bomb a bunch of starving 5'2 farmers with 60 year old rifles into the stone age
>STILL LOSE THE WAR

It was an inevitable victory. Public opinion forced us to withdraw

It might have been half okay if you had stopped after the initial restaurant scene.
the rest was just... wordy...

shit everything shit

I disagree.

I debated skipping to the final scene but wanted the airport scene in it