Any anons gone to jail or prison? how did you survive?

any anons gone to jail or prison? how did you survive?

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Keep your mouth shut and your ass open.

got used to taking cock in my ass. now i like it and do it on the outside for money. who said prison won't teach you life skills?

I became a warriah.

I shat in the shower

this,
There is no shame in having the walking farts

>Looks at flag
OK, so what did you do differently in jail, except shower?

joined a prison gang, all we had to do was workout and be merciless during any confrontation with the other gangs and you can stay in the gang and make it through your sentence.Got sentenced to 7 years but only did one because lol california prisons are full.

Some guy here got a sex change and got transferred to a women only prison. kek, do that.

I didn't shower unless you consider a discharge of fecal matter to be a shower

I've been arrested a few times but they never went anywhere.

smart

I learned pinochle and minded my own business. Spades is for hot heads. I never gambled and did not accept anything "for free"

Went to jail for 2 1/2 weeks until I got bailed out. The charge (felony assault) was all over local news, so everyone in there knew who I was when I came in. I live in a predominantly White community, so the jail was mostly rednecks and a few hispanics. Didn't have any problems with anyone. Basically just watched television and played board games.

Oh yeah, my charge was eventually dropped.

Apu, I've had the misfortune to smell some of your people, and your confession doesn't surprise me in the least. In fact, I would have guessed they bathed in poo.

I was in for a couple of days maximum security. I got bored and asked the warden if I could leave and he said yes.

Ive never been to anything but townie jails. Not like Cook county Chicago or fucking Broward or Dade. Somewhere youre begging to be sentenced to prison so you can survive jail.
The holding cells will have 5-15 lumps of ethnic shit lighting cigarettes off the wall socket, waiting to see a judge monday. You just bond yourelf out. Its nothing

are you still associated with the prison gang? i know that gang ties don't ever seem to go away for some people

this, except I'm a gambling man and I'm really good at cards. I partnered with a dude that was basically king of my unit and we rarely lost games because we established a way to cheat fairly quickly

It was alright, I smoked cigarettes and weed, played pool and xbox and worked out a bunch

man`s butt

It's really not that bad, everyone is just trying to mind their own business.
The most activity anyone ever had with each other was playing basket ball.

I had a life outside of prison and also I'm 27, too old to be a part of gang fuckery outside of prison. I haven't been back so I assume that type of information matter only to my jailers. I've only met one guy who was part of the gang the same time I was outside of prison and he is also pretty much not affiliated in any way with the gang and also knows how to make money so he doesn't have to rely on them outside of prison to survive.

3 years. How did I survive? You just roll with it like anything else in life I guess. Feel free to ask questions.

Did a couple of seperated weeks and a 30 day stint in county. That's it. Never went back after the 30 day thing. Been over 7 years since had any contact with the law.

5 times. I'm a gud boi now but part of me misses it simply because decking soft jaw flapping niggers is life's most enjoyable endeavor.

You survive by realizing that you're locked up with a bunch of criminals. Where you take your learning from this experience is completely up to you.

...

>american penitentiary

wtf were you sentenced to 7 years for in Cali. They don't throw that at you unless you commited a crime with a gun or had sex with a college girl who later regretted it!

They play Hearts in the clink? I'm more of a cribbage man but I imagine the pegs would be contraband.

You naive child. Do you have any idea what sentences are for non-violent drug offenses?

what did you do to earn three years? what moments stand out to you the most? anyone ever try to fuck your boipussy?

also, do they separate by race? thats a meme here in the states, just trying to see if so in Canada.

in Cali? absolutely nothing? We have 100's of props now that let everyone out for everything. We're so cucked the only thing you can got to prison for now is gun crime or pedophilia/rape.

Look at all these fucking degenerates waiting for the rope

Citation requested. I'm Canadian and they put me in the fucking clink for 3 years, there's no way that sentences would be more lenient anywhere in the US, even Cali.

I did 6 years for not paying the TV licence

I went to prison for killing 60 trillion Jews and a hundred dillion nigger. I did so willingly and politely because I respect police officers.

In cali they have diversion. you're first offense you're not even convicted, you just go to Narcotics anonymous. Second you get community labor. 3rd maybe 30 days in jail. If you're talking about selling large quantitites that would likely fall under federal and all rules go out the window as they anal rape you for decades of prison time for nonviolent crime.

kinda disappointed there aren't more criminals here right now, desu my family

Sup Forums probably has the highest concentration of criminals of all the boards.

>If you're talking about selling large quantitites that would likely fall under federal and all rules go out the window as they anal rape you for decades of prison time for nonviolent crime.

My point exactly

>Sup Forums is suddenly full of tough ex-cons that survived prison.

bad hombres.

hey canuck, tell us about your time in prison plz

>suddenly
its almost as if there is a large portion of lurkers in any given environment who can readily become available when inserting relevance

I tried out for goalie and got it. I started dealing in smokes and got good at drawing 2d waifus.

You ever see good fellas. I was slicing those ketchup chips and they melted into the sauce.

I'm so tired, haven't slept well all week. You must be tired too, so much to worry about. Let's get some rest, close our eyes and sleep.

Sup Forums has had some amazing prison threats. Lots of legit bad people post here.

Large scale drug trafficking.

No one ever tried to fuck me. I made it clear that I wouldn't be fucked with in any way, it got me into trouble sometimes but for the most part I was left alone.

Most sex in a federal pen is consensual. Rapists are looked down upon just as they are on the outside, the only difference is that those who get raped are not seen as victims, they are bitches who should have done something to stop it, and in prison you don't want to be seen as a bitch.

Race isn't as big a thing here. Natives have their own group, but that's about it.

This 100%

this was in 2008 fuckboi, things were a little different 10 years ago.

I fucked everything that walked.

murica overload itt

I'm going to snap your butt just like that do in prison

Fucking kek

Legalize all drugs and stop putting honest businessmen in prison.

Spent 15 years in the pen. I'm bigger than most so it ok.

deschutes.org/justice/page/sex-offender-neil-ernest-mckie

i agree.

what drugs did you move? also what prison were you put in?

watch MSNBC/A&E prison shows late at night

it teaches u everything u need to know

and stop masturbating, if you try to beat off in holding some big nigger will break your hand and rape your asshole.

I cried a lot in public, gossiped, gambled heavily, told the guards everything I saw and loudly told everyone about how I had sex with children.

Everyone was afraid of me and left alone

Probably thought you were a plant

>what drugs did you move?
All of them
>also what prison were you put in?
Several of them

I was sentenced to 3 years for a one time drug trafficking deal. I am a weak little bitch so I just kneed the first guard in the nuts twice after getting my rectum searched and processed and got thrown in solitary. Every time they tried to take me out I'd just kick and flail until they let me stay. Had to do four years for the assault, but never got shanked or raped or even had a negative conversation. Talk to myself almost nonstop daily now, but I did that a bit before I went in. No major hallucinations but its literally impossible to tell how much time has gone by and its a little scary; have to really focus on not focussing on time. Singing to myself helped and would somewhat help me know a few minutes had passed. I would sleep as much as possible (lucid dreaming is second nature now) and do pushups, situps, jumping jacks, and other simple exercises to tire myself out and get in shape.

My other go to plan if they ever removed me was going to be to bite a chunk out of the very first person to step to me (throat preferably if possible) and start chewing the flesh in front of everyone while rubbing the blood all over my face laughing manically. I figured cannibals would be the people most likely left alone and was going to go that route to stay off the radar.

yes, I survived prison, grab a spoon from the kitchen, go back to cell, dig hole under toilet, and hope the warden didn't build a perimeter wall yet

I'm 37, and have never been arrested. Becuase I'm not a degenerate.

yeah, I probably would have to go to the crazy route because I'm a bit of a pretty boy.

I've never even been pulled over, never mind arrested.

A nations greatest strength is in its prisons. Prison is the only place where a man can be truly and savagely natural with his fears, his violence. Prisons are where we put those who were willing to defy the entire system.

America has an army of savage, ruthless, and often bright young men who are completely comfortable with inhumanity. Its larger than chinas army.

You who can not even break a rule, what makes you think you can break a bone? Yes, these are the condemned. The lowest scum. The very worst our nation has to offer. They have no rights, they are slaves. And they are exactly what you would want to send into meat grinders as shock troops, with the promise of freedom for the rare few who survive.

If germany had had americas prison system, hitler would have won handily. America can fight the entire world and win, because of our prisons.

...

lol

3 months in the county did a lot of pills smoked a little hash ,made friends with the natives got into fight first day there to show I'm not a coward

Don't let yourself be pushed around, the moment you show any sign of weakness you automatically become the prisons fucktoy.

At the same time you've gotta keep to yourself, most of the inmates'll respect that you just want to get out of there as quick as possible.

i watched a guy his face dickslapped cause he didn't pay up after gambling