>was my 25th birthday yesterday
>told myself I'd give up junk food and coffee and internet time wasting but I'm having all three right now (can't resist McDonalds)
>almost every day for the past few years consisted of me telling myself I'd binge on junk food then eat cleanly and work very hard on learning tomorrow
>literally had confidence in myself every time but always wasted my free time the next day
HOW do I get the motivation to work hard when there's no immediate pressure? Somehow I have the guilt but not the pressure.
I feel cucked when working but i also feel cucked for not using my free time. I already went through my entire time at university and youth without any female attention, so being rich / special is the only way I could ever get girls / a social life. But I may still be too ugly. The redpill is bitter.
I know the answer is "just do it". I know that every single philosophy and way of life is bullshit. I know everyone is trying to sell me shit. I see most people as frauds or having lives on easy mode.