I'm moving to Australia in a month. Wollongong to be exact

I'm moving to Australia in a month. Wollongong to be exact

What can I expect? I already have a job lined up in case you were wondering

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Shitposting IRL

hahahaha

Please tell me I'll be alright

learn the slang so you dont sound like a complete american

The ice dealer's nice.
Macca's is the finest cuisine you can get in the 'Gong and the prices are reasonable.
Dapto is the best value suburb.

Vegimite is only spread thinly, a good rule of thumb is that 1 jar can last at least a decade

You say "Mt Ousley" like "Mt Oozley"

"The Gong" is Wollongong

>Wollongong

tfw Bruce names his cities by dumping a box of random shit on the floor, just like Ching Chong does.

>Wollongong to be exact
Bring floodpants.

Sydney fag here. Woolongong is a fucking hole and there's nothing to do

You planting trees, boy?

Department stores are not your personal shitting space.

I can see you're no Yabba man

...

Wollongong is good by world standards.

A fuckin shit hole by aussie standards.

Wollongong? Fucking Wollongong?

Why on earth did you decide to move there?

Mozzies gonna fuck you up boy. The spiders are nothing; mozzies grow as big as your hand.

fucking wallgreens sure does attract a lot of strife

fuck wrong thread

>Wollongong

You're fucked mate

Why do you want to move to Wollongong of all places?

>Wollongong

Expect to be bored

This is a troll thread. I've seen it before, you'll always get a great reaction when telling anyone in Australia you're moving to Wollongong

youtube.com/watch?v=vmL72sgVdAQ&t=2s

Is this video accurate? Are there actually people like this? Seems fake

Great just FUCKING GREAT
another dog cunt to steal our fuckin jobs.
Fuck off were full.

A lot of druggies in Wollongong.

exaggerated but not exactly wrong.

Thanks Bruce, saves me from postin' the obligatory "Fuck off, we're full!" post.

Have a tinnie on me mate

buy a pair of thongs and don't be a cunt
expect mozzies flies and cunts, be ready for em

I don't know what any of that means

All I can tell you is that I hate banter and don't take kindly to people coming up to me and striking up conversation

wollongong property is stupidly expensive

melbourne is cheaper than wollongong

Fuck America and Israel.
We are full fuck off

That's accurate if you go to the dodgy parts of cities / towns. I work in fortitude valley in Brisbane which has a lot more of these people than what you would reasonably think.

Australia has gained a retarded fag, and America has lost one: win win.

>Wollongong
F

Fuck off, they're full.

I remember you. you poor bastard. expect muzzies

Wollongong is a pretty place, but a lot of bogans there. You're not too far from Sydney so you should be alright. Just don't be a fuckwit.

Wollongong? I hope you like ice-heads.

>I hate banter

Oh nevermind
You have to go back

If you ever meet a guy who sometimes uses the online name "Junior Jewel" tell him to go fuck himself.

>I hate banter
You dumb cunt, going to fucking woolie and you don't like banter.
>don't take kindly to people coming up to me and striking up conversation
May as well have just stayed in the fucking US you antisocial drip.
You're fucked. Either that or you turn into a decent human.

I work daily with Aussies in my companys AU department. Everybody is super chill in Australia, makes me wanna move there. I'm white and I'll help Australia remain white, I'll fight to remove Kebab. Deal?

Cheers cobber.

Try Melbourne. A softcock like you should be able to fit in.

Only if you follow rugby league and not that poofy AFL shit.

Enjoy lots of Lebs in heavily modified cars

>league isn't poofy
the fucking a-league is harder than the nrl

Nah I just started watching AFL like a month ago. It's tight and fun to watch. I don't understand why Victoria has like 10 teams and every other state has only 2. Like Sydney is bigger than Melbourne and only has 2 teams, one being an expansion team. What the fuck?

TOLD
>YOU
>TO
FUCK
>OFF!!

>WE'RE FULL!!

Rugby is more popular in NSW and Qld, AFL is the sport of Vic and SA, why SA has two teams despite being almost irrelevant.

The competition started in Vic, used to be called VFL or some shit I think ages ago. The other states added teams gradually over time, except Tasmania who still don't have their own.

I live in wollongong lol

It's a very nice city, what suburb are you moving to? South or north of wollongong?

The beaches here are much better then in sydney and the air is much fresher

>When I go to sydney I actually get sick because of the air.

Not many foreigners here yet... though it is getting worst.

Fuck off we're full

AFL is just super easy to watch. Not a lot of rules, but the uniforms are dumb as fuck. Like I understand why they don't wear sleeves, but it may take a while to get used to.

>but the uniforms are dumb as fuck
>NFL players wear leggings like women and gay yoga instructors

good god those facial animations

I love the Australian flag, I wish the stars on mine were an actual celestial representation of something

>gay yoga instructors
>watching women contort and sweat in tight/nonexistent clothing and helping them with their leg stretches is "gay"
whew lad

I here Wollongong is the the Australian version of "I've been everywhere"

If you're talking to someone in public and you notice people looking at you, its not because of your accent. Its because your loud, so dont talk loudly.
Americans are so fucking loud.

>What can I expect?
A BOOT EH

I'm talking about actual homosexuals who teach yoga and have sex with men and wear leggings. Like NFL players do.

>don't take kindly to people coming up to me and striking up conversation
kek I've had more cunts do that to me in the US than here

silly seppos take me for a local at first too, until they hear me speak

you really dont want him to fit in do you?

I'm naturally pretty loud. Don't give a fuck what the retarded locals think. I could probably fuck them all up


Is seppo a good thing?

thnx bro when can i land?

learn rhyming slang and you'll understand

because only shittoria plays that faggot gay ass game

play rugby union poof

we've got a spot picked out for you on Nauru already

Yeah I saw this posted like a month or two ago

>Nauru
sounds comfy af bro i can wait to shitpost with my brethren DOWN UNDA

there's a difference between american fuckwit and australian fuckwit

Buy some thongs, sheilas love the sound of thongs.

im gonna need to see a source on that one

F U L L
U
L
L

Their fuckwits are called Bogans, for one.

Wollongong station is dero AF.

ahah prepare to literally be a walking joke/celeb/treated like a retard but also people want to like help you whilst laughing at you. You'll get laid though like crazy if your not an autist and just come on to women.

FUCK OFF THEY ARE FULL

of spiders

yeah and? American fuckwits are called republicans.

again, i have yet to note any difference

I LIVE 20 MINS SOUTH OF WGONG ITS NOT A BAD PLACE I RECCOMEND WINGDANG OR WARILLA IF YA ABLE ITS LIKE 20 MINS SOUTH. LOTS OF ASIANS IN GONG BUT NOT A LITTLE SOUTH

FUCK
OFF

a leaf claiming to know about americans and australians, while not being one of them

I wonder who named these places

1. I hear there is a shortage of males.

2. I hear Australian women like American accents.

3. Emulate Clint Eastwood or Quigley.

Wollongong? You should move to chuzzawozzawoornambigee, it's beautiful this time of year. Wazza wogga is also great. Awesome nightlife.

last time i checked, you can expect no gun rights

>it's another american moving to the gong thread
wew

slang aint gonna save him if hes still got a fucken american accent

>slang aint gonna save him if hes still got a fucken american accent
yeah, hes a dead man, for sure drowned in all that wet aussie puss overflowing from a north american accent.

Does a place here you stockpile your shit sound good to you?

If so, then yes.

You don't understand, the bogans call everyone "cunts"

no wait, everyone calls everyone cunts there

yeah right you just made that up!

I havent seen anyone post it once in this thread besides you. dont you think thats a little strange for an australian thread with 100 replies?

exactly

But what of Tullamore, Seymour, Lismore, Mooloolaba, Nambour, Maroochydore, Kilmore, Murwillumbah, Birdsville, Emmaville, Wallaville, Cunnamulla, Condamine, Strathpine, Proserpine, Ulladulla, Darwin, Gin Gin, Deniliquin, Muckadilla, Wallumbilla, Boggabilla, Kumbarilla, Moree, Taree, Jerilderie, Bambaroo, Toowoomba, Gunnedah, Caringbah, Woolloomooloo, Dalveen, Tamborine, Engadine, Jindabyne, Lithgow, Casino, Brigalow and Narromine, Megalong, Wyong, Tuggerawong, Wangarella, Morella, Augathella, Brindabella, Wollongong, Geelong, Kurrajong, Mullumbimby, Mittagong, Molong, Grong Grong, Goondiwindi, Yarra Yarra , Bouindarra, Wallangarra, Turramurra, Boggabri, Gundagai, Narrabri, Tibooburra, Gulgong, Adelong, Billabong, Cabramatta, Parramatta, Wangaratta, Coolangatta, Ettalong, Dandenong, Woodenbong, Ballarat, Canberra, Milperra, Unanderra, Captains Flat, Cloncurry, River Murray, Kurri Kurri, Girraween, Terrigal, Fingal, Stockinbingal, Collaroy and Narrabeen, Bendigo, Dorrigo, Bangalow, Indooroopilly, Kirribilli, Yeerongpilly and Wollondilly?

Australian women fancy big emu cock

How could you even compete?

I live in Sydney... why is everyone shitting on The Gong? I would like to live there?

you guys really bite at it though, just as expected of a bunch of jailbird, failed britbong hicks.

;^DDDDD

I've got a jar of Vegemite in my pantry I picked up the other week. Haven't tried it yet.

What am I in for, and how do I eat it without looking like a retarded Amerifat?