If you could go back in time and tell your pre-teen self one thing, what would it be?

>I'll start
"Don't fall for the college meme"

I have to agree toothpaste. university was a mistake. Should of taken the apprenticeship job.

just chill and fuck bitches like u did brah
cuz u can just get into the best uni with a mature age access program and your smile later anyway ;)

Don't take designer drugs.

"You'll regret transitioning."

>invest all your money in the Zune
that'll teach the fucker who put me where I am today

Sort yourself out

Listen to your family. DON'T MARRY HER!

Dont ever go on Sup Forums

B-TIER THREAD
Saged, reported

buy bitcoins and dont be such a fag

If you kill them now you'll face no charges

Stop sucking cocks, that's gay

Invest in google, Microsoft, and Apple.

And by a shit ton of Bitcoins

Your life will be shit, and there is nothing you can do about it.

>Buy all the bitcoins you can afford

>If you could go back in time and tell your pre-teen self one thing, what would it be?

don't get vaccinated

>"Welcome to the freewill simulation, user."
>"Throw your xbox in the garbage and go play outside you fucking degenerate."

Don't wait to transition

I agree, more than halfway though and I can guarantee all this has been is an expensive holiday

can't say I'm too bothered though

>"start meditating now mate, nothing i can say will shield you from the inevitable fuck up you will create except your own acceptance, oh by the way yes she is totally into you, root her in year 8"

Stop playing video games and go outside more.

>You don`t get to bring friends

This to be quite honest

"Don't ruin your dick by masturbating with rough objects"

"kill yourself"

Go to votech (trade school) school for electrician and make friends with a plumber. Take programming courses at the community college while working as an electrician.
Buy row homes in "old suburban" areas outside Philadelphia. Fix homes and rent them out. Repeat until you own enough to live comfortably go into coding for cushy job. Buy another rental each year.

I'd never be fucking born.

t. single mother's son meme

Worst of all, she was ALSO extremely neglected by her parents (she was like 7th kid or like).

don't fall for the college meme
don't smoke
stop being so sensitive
don't go gym and just swim or something instead

bout it really

...

Dan Schneider doesn't really want to play ball behind the house.

Cherish every moment you spend with your dad. He won't be around as long as you think.

Fell for the college meme.
Do I just stick with it?

>Get off Reddit

:(

its not a meme, a fuckup who goes to college will still be a fuckup at the end of the day. thats about it. just dont be a fuckup kid.

>not going to college for mechanical engineering

You dumbfucks

"One day you will travel back in time to give your old self some advice. Use this opportunity wisely."

this

also dont be an autist and ficki ficki girls in hs

Don't do anything different. You're cool you just don't know it yet. You will have a wonderful never ending life.

This guy has part of the idea...
>buy as much Enron as possible
>sell in december of 2000
>short in September

>Short Lehman Bros in November of 2007
>Buy equity in Google, Amazon, Netflix, etc. ASAP- preferably as a venture capitalist before their IPO's
>Short all companies ending in .com in 1999
>It goes Bush-Obama-Trump, remember it and bet accordingly
>go short on everything on September 1, 2001 but especially airlines, then go long on defense contractors on the 10th
>Invest in X.com as an early venture capital investor- ensure they focus on money transfer in lieu of banking
>There's a guy named J. Craig Ventor, get to know him and support his ambitions with money- be sure to "invent" the idea of using sequenced ocean biomass and proteonomics to generate biotech patents for yourself to own
>gila monster spit is surprisingly great for treating diabetes- do some research and patent it, then sell it
>anything involving gene sequencing using the "shotgun" method, invest in it
>There is going to be a rapid, inexplicable expansion to Starbucks followed by a slowdown in 2007
>Boeing will lose the JSF contract
>Northrop gets a huge contract for a new bomber in 2016
>Rafale will win the MCRA competition in India
>Following some lead time- oil prices drop dramatically around 2014 and American wells/producers' product becomes cost-inefficient
>Gazprom may look nice but it's pointless to invest in it after ~2007, sell after that point
>The following are "penny stocks" with prices more than doubling, you know how to pump and dump...
>Bitcoins in 2009
>etc.

On a personal note:
>You'll meet a girl in high school who ignores you, you'll bang her in college when she's a grad student- don't bang her, just ignore her back for the rest of your life

Don't do anything different

Underrated

Not everyone who approaches you is out to get you in some way. Try to make friends. Invest in your future a little and it'll make things and people a lot easier to deal with.

"Mine bitcoin."

>Wait until your are in your mid thirties and have all your shit together to get married.
That pretty much fixes everything at this point.

The wall just 40x times higher Pablo

EXPLAIN

Don't smoke weed

Don't download porn in kazaa, nothing good will come of it.

Don't leave her.

Ask her out you goddamn pussy. She likes you and your practicly tripping over yourself over her and you will NEVER get another chance.

>no matter what I tell myself they probably wouldn't truly understand it because they didn't have to go through all the problems for the lesson to truly be hammered in
Instead do this

Ask her out before she gets engaged. She's gonna break up with that first guy anyways

>During the Euro 2004 take a loan or something and bet every penny you have on Greece

Become the Jew. Ignore girls. Ignore friends. Ignore vidya. Ignore fucking everything. Trust me, just get a business and finance degree. Then go to fucking Wallstreet and just invest. After you get a few million, play it safe as fuck and just retire before you're even 30.

Stay in the Navy. Civilian life is a waking hell.

Your father is a good man and right about everything.

Mainly towels, a rolled up afgan once or twice. Legit best my dick so hard is swelled up. I did this multiple times and now I'm about an inch shorter and my dick gets sore often

Acquire 10,000 btc sell when it hits $1000 a coin

I'd go back and tell hi to report this off topic thread

Same. Don't go to university, just apply to work in the supermarket right away instead of after 5 years.

Beat up people who are mean to you mercilessly, it'll be illegal when you are old. Also, don't skip army and stay away from crazy chicks.

It's all good, don't stress about it and do whatever you want, your going to become terminally ill but you'll also discover Buddhism in a weird way. It's all just a big brain basically, and you'll become happier then you could imagine. Nothing really changes though.

Buy apple

the only thing that matters is how much money you make and the health that youre in

invest in google and amazon please you don't want to get a job it's fucking awful make stockbroker account under your dad's name and steal $20 from him every week slowly and invest as much as you can :(

'Slip her the rodger'

Stop trying to fit in with your slutty degenerate friends, you're going to meet your soul mate in a few years and they really want you to be a virgin.

You pretty much nailed it OP.

Apple, Amazon, Google
also Bitcoin.

Thing is lads, in 20 years there will be another name on that list, one we should be getting in on the ground floor of now.

Now what could that be?

"Don't say you love her" also "apply a year earlier for university you get fucked if you wait till after January in grade 12"

you will be right about everyone. quitting HS and educating yourself is the best thing you will ever do for yourself. I wouldn't have been able to invent time travel to tell you this, trust me!

...

Yikes

"Your waifu is fucking shit"

You are a roastie, right?

Too late roastie, your seal is open forever now.

Yikes

>invest
>in
>google

...

I'm sorry you think your waifu is shit.

hearty kek

Start lifting NOW, tell dad to put his money into the dot-com company bubble and read into NatSoc ideology.

This would probably save me nearly 10 years of my life expecting I will be able to apply the learned things and use the achieved money by the time I'm 20.

"Get into more fistfights"

No, phew, luckily I'm not but I was dangerously close. I guess I was autistic enough to avoid any boy trying to do anything romantic with me more than a couple of times and I never wanted to go to far. Almost did though since you degenerate boys are always calling a girl a tease and bitch if she wants to hold hands and kiss but not have your hand under her clothes.

Don't drink, talk more, fuck bitches.

A fell for the don't go to college and have fun in your 20's meme. I'm 37 finishing my degree that I've been trying to complete since 28. I've worked 2 jobs for a couple of years now while having 3 kids. Needless to say it hasn't been fun. I've done this ass backwards and wouldn't recommend. I can't count the number of times my m8's are venting about work or their wife/gf and I feel envious. Envious that they only have non-important and uninteresting drama going on in their day-to-day lives while I'm on the verge of
insanity at least weekly due to the stress of juggling it all.

>tl;dr

Finish school at a reasonable age so that you're still young (dumb) enough to get married, have kids, and enjoy life. Pic somewhat related.

I would've told myself to not enlist in the navy lol. fuck that noise if I could do it all over again I'd get serious about AF officer opportunities I could have had if I gave half a shit through high school instead of getting all the way to graduation and it was either have a mil contract or an actual job, or just get flat out booted from home and told "good luck." I panicked and the Navy was more than glad to be the first train outta dodge. WISH I COULD TURN BACK TIME

stop going to Sup Forums

Its been a rough few days buddy. Let the B-Tier threads see the light of a day for a minute. I need something lighter

Different strokes

Me too. The "experience" wasn't worth it. I guess I learned something but I wish I'd had some pride or self-esteem instead... I'm just glad I wasn't as bad as my friends and my "experimental" phase didn't last long. Some people never learn or grow up or mature out of it.

Pick one thing and focus on that, get really good at it. Everything else will fall into place.

>flag
story checks out

Do the normal raid time with your guild when Crimson Halls opens, don't go to bed because of a headache. This will fuck up your life singularly.

don't start smoking you'll get hooked

" Don't push marit into breaking contact because she doesn't want to go to the cinema with you"

"be nice to vera otherwise she will break all contact"

"don't push Esther into blocking you by threatening her with her nudes"

drop out of high school and get your GED
find a job asap to pay for college
don't fall for the student loan meme

Yeah, I know this triggers pol so much but I've spent a lot of time thinking about it and it feels like young girls (boys too, most people) are too dumb to know anything better then trying to fit in and be liked which is why girls jump into that lifestyle so young- they don't know better, everyone is doing it so it seems normal, you feel bad about yourself for being "inexperienced" or uncool if you don't even participate in the drugs and drinking and skipping class and other anti-intellectual behavior, so they jump into it and by the time you develop enough as a person to start forming your own morals and values, you're too damaged to consider sex and love special or pure because that would just mean accepting/admitting that you threw your chance at it away already.

I feel lucky to have randomly made it through that time without having an opportunity to sell myself out, long enough to meet someone who was able to teach me better.

>Get married and have three goddamn kids before you have a stable income like a fucking nigger does.
>Wonder why you don't have money while you're not working and attending college.