Tea is the greatest thing in human history

Tea is the greatest thing in human history.

>Grows in China, only really exported to Japan
>1500's, some dude brings it to Europe
>Britain goes nuts for it
>Start naval empire for the sole purpose of buying tea
>Britain buys all of the tea in China for all it's silver bullion, bankrupting itself in the process
>Britain gets China addicted to opium to balance the debt
>China gets pissed, war ensues
>Meanwhile Brits decide they want sugar in their tea
>Start the slave trade
>Stick sugar plantations all over the Americas
>Kill half the niggers in Africa just to grow that sweet sweet sugar
>Blitz through India, "Grow tea or everyone dies"
>Okay.jpg
>China's fucked, broke from Opium wars, monopoly on tea gone
>Africa's fucked, millions dead, millions in chains halfway around the world
>Americas rolling in wealth because of slavery and plantations
>Everyone and their mother now drinks tea
>Brits get rich
>Now I get to drink that sweet brew every morning, laughing my ass off at the untold numbers of corpses I'm dancing on

TEA THREAD FAGGOTS. You know it's only right.

Other urls found in this thread:

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_of_Braganza
teabox.com/blog/year-britain-bought-tea-world
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

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I never really looked at it that way. Where does coffee fit into all this?

I had a subconscious feeling that Sup Forums is the place for tea enthusiasts such as myself. Thank you for explaining the feeling of bloodlust I experience each time I take a sip of my Earl grey.

tea is unhealthy when drunk with milk and sugar

Britons never shall never be slaves ?

I've been drinking disgusting chai tea as it seems moderately caffeinated. What is the most quintessentially British tea out there?

Chinese tea culture is superior to British and way above that of the nips. I bet you use bagged tea you fucking animal.

You're welcome greatest ally :3

"Catherine is credited with the introduction of tea drinking to Britain, althoughSamuel Pepysmakes reference to drinking tea for the first time in his diary entry for 25 September 1660 (i.e. prior to Catherine's emigration to England and marriage to Charles). It is more likely that she popularised the drink, which was unusual in Britain at the time.[13]Beyond tea, her arrival brought and promulgated goods such as cane, lacquer, cottons, and porcelain."
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_of_Braganza

coffe is south america. CIA killed millions for coffe

>some dude brings it to Europe
>some dude
I love you too greatest ally.

It's a postcard from 1914, lad.

Truly great friends. I'm gonna go make a cup

Tea and soccer are for faggots.
Hockey and coffee make men

well shit

>Leaf
The Queen in on your currency, pleb.
Canadians are retards and can't even pronounce basic words of the English language.

What the fuck does "oot" mean? It's out, you cunt.

Anglo/German descendent. I love you Portugal. Thank you kindly for the tea.

>the anglo follows the Portuguese in his footsteps once again

There's nothing you can do leaf, you're doomed to being in second place my friend!

>I wuz anglo and kraut and shiiite!

Sure thing burger.

also check this one out:

Wow Coffee is America's tea in more ways than one.

Trudeau and his pop cucked the brown tooth homos. That cunt will be the last on our bills that is a fact. And she's only on our twenty and coins
Just crawl back into your bottle and sing about rules the seas lol race traitor islanders.
Fuck Britain

I perfer coffee

Nobody speaks your islanders dialect speak American what the fuck is a trousers? They're pants.

Lesson for the day: The modern age started because of tea.

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Betty and Taylors Yorkshire Tea

What's wrong with bagged tea? a blend of convenience and taste.

That's the smile of the awkward moment when you realize your cucked

Personally i like Yorkshire Gold.

Give me a quick run down on Portugal. I see you guys posting all the time, but don't know shit about you.

Vastly superior to tea, but needs more hardware. Has to be freshly ground.

It is objectively inferior, but definitely convenient. At least it isn't powdered.

I specifically like the part you left out where the early moments in sugar involved doing lines of it mixed with snuff

fucking based England, you are truly the greatest of Rome's slave states

Isn't that how we always drink it here? :-/

No

British need celebrity chefs on television to fake news the fact that they eat dog shit.
I returned every meal I was served in London until I went to a French restaurant.
These Jew loving alcoholic filth actually eat French fry sandwiches. I was handed one and threw it in the garbage laughing as I thought it was a joke.....it wasn't

Is that by any chance because you walked in and ordered a well done steak? You're honestly speaking shit. Nowhere except a couple of chip shops have i seen a chip sandwich (Chip Butty).

poo is unhealthy in the streets

Sugar obviously, but why milk?

The British get addicted to something so they cause someone else to get addicted to something to support their own addiction.

What a nice Country.

>I was handed one and threw it in the garbage laughing as I thought it was a joke
loool

Normal breakfast served literally everywhere from Canada to American in every single restaurant becomes an English breakfast in Britain. Ask for French toast so butt hurt they insisted on calling it eggy toast. French fries chips, blood pudding...go fuck yourselves, no orange juice no coffee no syrup ask for an English muffin they don't know what it is.....

COFFEE > TEA

prove me wrong, protip >you cant

teabox.com/blog/year-britain-bought-tea-world

what tea doesn't taste bad? Tell me please.

>English Breakfast is what it's called across the UK as well as most of Europe

>French toast - complete and utter bullshit

>Blood pudding - Whats so bad about that?

>Orange juice, coffee, syrup - Bullshit

>English Muffin - bullshit

Anything else you'd like to add Leaf?

Black pudding (blood) has been eaten for thousands of years. It's literally in Homer's Iliad, you absolute plebeian fuck.

Yerba Mate > Coffee > Tea.

There, fixed it. Tea is weak shit, it has become obsolete. Yerba Mate is almost as strong as coffee but easier on the stomach, and contains a shitload of antioxidants.

>weak

Then leave the teabag in for longer....?

I eat that breakfast every morning in the summer when I'm vacationing in the Algarve. All hotels have that food. Real nice shit.

>Tea is weak shit, it has become obsolete

this, I'm more interested in medicinal teas that can make you appear younger and assist in time travel

>medicinal teas
teas give you kidney stones user
best to stick to coffee and other non-tea drinks

Non-Whites can't drink milk or they get the shits.

I rarely have it on a usual day (unhealthy as fuck) but once in a while i get a train into town for a full English breakfast before College.

So you're saying that Brits created the worlds largest empire for fucking tea?
I always envisioned you guys like the galactic empire strong conquerors who want to be powerful but now you tell me you built the empire for FUCKING TEA? All that just so you could harvest and drink A FUCKING LEAF?

>the British empire was founded because of A FUCKING LEAF
No wonder you lost the empire. You aren't conquerors at all

Don't Indians consider getting the shits to be healthy though?

>>Boiled everything until tasteless
>>Fries and fish wrapped in garbage with toxic ink from newspaper
>>flat warm beer...umm nope
>> soccer homosexual singing show tunes
>> everywhere pakis and jews

When I'm in the mood for tea, I use loose leaf, never teabags.

Tea is cucked coffee.

YOUR STOMACH HURTS
YOU NEED TO POO
BUT I WON'T LET YOU NEAR THE LOO
BEGONE FROM HERE YOUNG PAJEET
TO THE DESIGNATED SHITTING STREET!

I like to go to the beach and enjoy the sun with an English breakfast in my belly during the 2 weeks of vacations in the Algarve. It's the only time I eat English breakfast. It's basically tradition. There's nothing like it.

Kek'd

>Boiled - Which fucking part of a breakfast was you eating that was boiled?

>Newspaper - Literally hasnt been done in 20 years, pretty sure it was made illegal due to health concerns

>Flat warm beer - Thats more of a Scotland thing and even then its pretty much non-existant anymore

>"football" - Bullshit

>Paki's and Jews - You seriously went to London and didnt expect Paki's? Are you fucking simple?

They like to shit naturally like the animals which is how the whole field shitting thing started. Milk is like assisted shitting and therefore like taking steroids.

So how do we have any old people here? Their blood is 90% sweet, milky tea.

I've tried it before but its just a bit more work and i usually just want Tea in a rush in the morning.

They put fish and chips in fake newspaper for cultural reasons in many stores.

Sorry lads

I've been there too it's beautiful except for the cackling British who seem to like to dress in costumes and scream when they drink. There's a little bar called the Canada bar and beat the shit out of a brit who changed the hockey to soccer. The police took him away lol

Does Portugul have hot breakfasts like the UK or the mainland Europe breakfast of cold meats and croissants?

That dingles my Receptors.

Tea is so overrated, I don't even drink it.Give me Red Bull or Monster or any other Energy drink over Tea.

Fake newspaper yea, i've had that before. They're made specifically so the oil doesnt make the ink seep out. Real newspaper hasnt been used in a while though.

Fucking monster

>You have got to try the COLD CHAI
- Hillary Clinton

Anyone who drinks tea with milk is ruining it, and deserves a fate worse than death.

Tea is for homosexuals and for low testosterone beta males

>You know it's only right.
But it isn't right. Absolutely none of it is right.

>Is that by any chance because you walked in and ordered a well done steak
A good cook knows how to prepare a well done steak.

Yes

Most people I know just eat coffee and toast or something along those lines. No eggs, beans or that fancy stuff

wtf I love coffee even more now!

Compared to a nice medium rare steak done by the same chef it'll be shit.

You could put a whole box of teabags in and it will still be weak as shit. All you would get for leaving it in longer is an astrigent texture.
Tea is trash garbage. Beer is where it's at.

>starts naval empire for sole purpose of buying tea.

Acktually

>Well done steak
There is no point in ordering a well done steak. Any quality the meat would have had is gone after burning it, or cooking it until "well done"
You may as well eat the cheapest steak you can find and just burn it until it's black.

>beer for breakfast

Seems like a perfect idea.

Lorry?
Boot?
Windscreen?
You didn't even invent the car why do you insist on useless arcane dialect
Tube?
Calling soccer football??? Every pub only soccer
Don't shower daily
Every building smells like Mold and piss
You can stop singing about rules the seas its been a century.
Think Canada is poor and I came to London to buy things I can't get in Toronto lol
British woman dress like Canadian whores

They are animals

>>>flat warm beer...umm nope
You've never had a good beer that's designed to be drank just slightly cooled. Though, I agree. Beer is meant to be bubbly.

Drank* god damn when you stop being illiterate you can work at your uncles shitty gas station in the states

>Canada bar
So we have enough of a diaspora in other countries now? I knew shit was fucked but I didn't know so many of us were leaving

Well done because we don't want mad cow encephalitis.
Fun fact in Canada we ask if you have lived in England and ate beef if so you can't donate blood

Brit tea is disgusting.

Sweet tea can stay though.

Guys, I've just had a brilliant idea to end that *sips tea* shit once and for all.

Tea: The drink of the slave trading imperialists.

We are poor. They're just insecure because they know London is among the few cities in the world that is more cucked than Toronto

>never heard of the Breakfast of Champions.

Drunk and drank are both correct.

Muh tea
Just drink vodka, it's superior and you don't need to prepare it.

Tea can be drunk daily, Beer can be drunk daily if you'd like to be a neckbeard shut in with alcohol issues.