Brit/pol/ - The Wind in the Willows Edition

Today’s Articles

> Theresa May meets Donald Tusk for Brexit start talks
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-39514543
uk.reuters.com/article/uk-britain-eu-tusk-source-idUKKBN1781X4
dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4386488/Theresa-kicks-Brexit-talks-hosting-Donald-Tusk.html

> May heads for electoral test over Brexit and her leadership
uk.reuters.com/article/uk-britain-eu-may-elections-idUKKBN17812N
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-39501881

> Unilever Sets Up UK-Netherlands Clash in Search for New Home
bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-04-06/unilever-sets-up-u-k-netherlands-clash-in-search-for-new-home

> UKIP's Mark Reckless defects back to Conservative Party
telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/04/06/conservative-defector-mark-reckless-quits-ukip-rejoins-tories/
news.sky.com/story/ukips-mark-reckless-defects-back-to-conservative-party-10827314

> Jeremy Corbyn: add VAT to private education fees to fund school meals
theguardian.com/education/2017/apr/05/fund-free-school-meals-jeremy-corbyn-add-vat-private-education-fees

> It's WMD all over again. Why don't you see it?
hitchensblog.mailonsunday.co.uk/2017/04/its-wmd-all-over-again-why-dont-you-see-it-.html

> MAPPED: Brexit Britain's enemies revealed – and guess who REALLY wants the UK to suffer
express.co.uk/news/uk/788718/Brexit-news-eu-members-punish-Britain-leaving-european-union-EU

Thread Theme
youtube.com/watch?v=riltxsHIRqk

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=rNm3LefGC-M
express.co.uk/news/uk/788718/Brexit-news-eu-members-punish-Britain-leaving-european-union-EU
eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/news/local/north-east-man-accused-terrorism-weapons-chemical-weapons-manuals-allegedly-found/
youtube.com/watch?v=gfxV4y_IZ20
youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI
youtube.com/watch?v=I-MimunZijM
youtube.com/watch?v=d5sC2GdGNaM
youtu.be/md_5gfHLBv8?t=13m15s
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_Manchester_mayoral_election,_2017
youtube.com/watch?v=V3JQyV4dUKM
youtube.com/watch?v=Uu87oGsjkic
youtube.com/watch?v=kH-qXZD3yx0
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-39515621
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

...

youtube.com/watch?v=rNm3LefGC-M
I did an interview with some Muslim bloke on Westminster Bridge a week after the attack, he was okay but seemed to be in denial.

Hygiene
- Vacuum and polish at least once a week, pick a day and stick to it.
- Wash your pots and pans in the evening every day after tea, don't let them sit.
- Shower once a day no more than ten minutes after waking up and be in there no longer than ten minutes.
- Wash your clothes every two to three days, pick a rota and stick to it. Don't wear the same top more than once.
- If you live with parents ensure your room is maintained then offer your help with the rest of the house.

Intelligence
- Read at least one book per week with at least four of them being non-fiction. Join a library.
- Swap out telly, internet or games for a book as your last activity of the night at least one hour prior to bedtime.
- Use your hands to build something regularly, it can be anything; furniture, electronics, clothes, a robot waifu.

Diet
- Replace your breakfast with a dry salad or dry fruit salad.
- Don't eat within two hours of bedtime.
- Replace your tea with a cut of meat and a side of salad. If you can't regularly afford fresh meat, buy frozen instead.
- Replace your snacks with vegetables or fruit, cucumbers and carrots are great.
- Drink at least five pints of water a day, avoid fizzy drinks.

1/2

Fitness
- Take a one hour walk no longer than ten minutes after your morning shower and breakfast.
- If you're able, mix running in to your walk as much as you can.
- Every time you go to the bathroom do at least ten burpees before entering.
- Take a one hour walk in the evening no less than three hours before bedtime.
- If you're able, mix running in to your walk as much as you can.
- Start boxing if you're able.

Mental Health
- Don't ignore it, it is telling you important stuff. Just don't cry like a girl about it.
- If you're socially retarded put yourself in to an uncomfortable social situation at least once per day.
- It can be as simple as making small talk with someone in a shop, don't worry about spaghetti.
- If you're feeling down get in a cold shower for a minute or two, no need for washing.
- Drink alcohol no more than once a week and don't use it to get hammered.
- Stop smoking. Go to the doctor and get nicotine patches, or get a fedora vape.
- If you're stuck in a rutt, write about your mental health every day. Just don't let anyone find it, it's gay as fuck.

Big Soup.

>Vacuum and polish at least once a week, pick a day and stick to it.
We do that every day.

>can go to mecca in term time
>no fine

>go to Disney land in term time
>£60 fine

>express.co.uk/news/uk/788718/Brexit-news-eu-members-punish-Britain-leaving-european-union-EU

It's another Germs and Frogs try and fight Britain and lose episode.
Great!

Bad for carpets and surfaces desu.

Gotta love the Celtic attacks against based England. We need to gas all Celts for this act of nasty evil.

DEATH TO CELTS!

Laminate flooring senpai.

>tfw when no gf

>Money
>- Claim benefits if you can be assed
>- Mummy will do the rest

What about taking time off to do a Christian pilgrimage? There's plenty of them.

>Instead of the usual light-hearted This Week chaser to soothe my nerves after Question time, tonight there's a programme about sick animals

Find something better to do tonight, lads.

I expect the excuse (muh discrimination aside) is that a mecca visit will be educational

Rude desu

>assed
Go back to Mexico.

That last bit was quite revealing. He talks 'invasions by the west in the name of democracy' whilst standing on the site of the attack.

...

Or the south west, where everyone says that you absolute NEET

>And then I see this lineup

FUCK me.

It's "arse" therefore it's "arsed" you absolute Mexican.

Lads can any of you post pics of what English, Scottish, Ulster Scot, Welsh and a mix of those mentioned genetics look like? I'm able to spot what other country's people look like, but I can never really pinpoint ours.

eveningexpress.co.uk/fp/news/local/north-east-man-accused-terrorism-weapons-chemical-weapons-manuals-allegedly-found/

LAST NIGE OF THE WEEK IN 10 MINUTES

youtube.com/watch?v=gfxV4y_IZ20

youtube.com/watch?v=gfxV4y_IZ20

youtube.com/watch?v=gfxV4y_IZ20

Lovely jubbly

What's in the box

Wear...sunscreen.

youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

u r 1 cheeki kunt m8

Yeah, it was literally on the path that citizens had been run over just 7 days prior and he said it was comparable to Christianity by bringing up something that happened a thousand years ago.

...

>what's their endgame?
kek

marble walls, an air conditioner and some gaudy decoration
youtube.com/watch?v=I-MimunZijM

>dialects do not exist
Where I'm from, parsed and assed do not rhyme, no-one says arse, and we pronounce every R.

Not even worth wasting s bomb on.

I was hoping it'd be something /x/ related

ass and assed/asshole have been popular for years

What do you ask these interviewees when you approach them? Has anyone declined to comment?

I want to see him film himself walking from the outside in before I believe it

Bloody Mexicans.

Turn off your proxy you cuck

Lying sack of shit

...

You know the Americans didn't just think of all of their words independently, right? You realise their dialects evolved from British ones, right? Good.

I've only done two so far, that one and youtube.com/watch?v=d5sC2GdGNaM , I just say "excuse me do you mind if I ask you a few questions" in the most positive sort of mood I can. I've not had anything like 13 minutes 15 seconds into this one youtu.be/md_5gfHLBv8?t=13m15s yet.

...

I cannot wait for Trump to be a total failure of a president. Americans on Sup Forums need some serious reality checks desu.

>The crusades were about going to heaven for killing Muslims
>Not about fighting back against an invading force

WEW

tbf who else were they supposed to vote for?

Pull a Hitchens and stay at home.

Does Britain have any chance not to become an Islamic shithole?

I lel'd at that also.

Shut it Juan, no more out of you.

No.

Why do you focus on Britain when Germany, France, Italy and Bulgaria have a much worse Muslim population?

Even Russia has a worse Muslim population than the UK... Why focus on us?

FUCKING HELL

>Calls people Mexicans
>Does not have a job
OK, Jose

indeed. I now wish he hadn't won so those Yanks would be taken down a peg or two. They are completely in denial that they aren't about to be demographically replaced just because they haven't really had any Muslim rape incidents and muh guns.

Because it really wouldn't make sense for a Russion to enter a British general and focus on other countries.

>>Does not have a job
Nice projection Juan.

I would give her the most disappointing 30 seconds of her life

Keep it up. And get yourself a logo for the bottom corner. Need branding if you want to build.

Are Momentum, dare I say it, /usefulidiotsforthetories/?

I just have some connections in UK, thought about moving there.

Don't bother.

I think /k/ checked and a lot of the guns were replicas or airsoft in these pictures.

Cheers, I'll be working on something in inkscape later.
I'll probably also be going to the Momentum event in Croydon on Saturday so that should be fun.

Reread your 'life advice' and really try to read it from the point of view of someone who has ever had a job.

I agree they might as well have voted for him but i'm getting sick of them defending every single thing he does by saying "muh 4D chess". They're like Mayfags on steroids when it comes to being in denial.

Remember to vote Lib Dem.

I wrote it specifically for people who are NEETs without a hope in life. Does it make sense now?

If you're argument is from the southwest, never mind that this is post factum justification for your using the yank spelling despite everyone using English spelling regardless of dialect, if you really want to spell it how you west country people speak, it should be more like 'aas'.

>Take a one hour walk no longer than ten minutes after your morning shower

I have a vote in the Manchester Mayoral election, who should I vote for lads?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greater_Manchester_mayoral_election,_2017

youtube.com/watch?v=V3JQyV4dUKM

>4/4 time signature is for mere plebians

They're useful idiots for anyone who's not labour

Now I think he should change his name, to Mark Cautious!

>Tim Farron and Diane Abbott in Kent

>UKIP Candidate: Shneur Odze

No shit. SeeMaybe put something on there about getting a fucking job.

Yeah, I'll start spelling 'grass' graas and 'brass' braas, shall I. Fuck me.

post feelsy tunes boys
youtube.com/watch?v=Uu87oGsjkic

WHY THE FUCK HAVE YOU STOLEN ALL OF MY REACTION IMAGES?
I saw the Loadsamoney one in the last thread. Get fucked.

How many times a minute does that song change time signature?

Give me your vote goy.

Calm down lad.

>sit mam and dad down
>tell them I have something important to tell them
>their faces light up like im about to say some good shit
>probably expecting me to announce a kid, or being gay or getting married
>tell them im a pedophile
>dad kicks me out of the house

Fuck this.

>Literally the jewiest looking person alive

You told them when you should have shown them.

You know who I am. Who are you?!

youtube.com/watch?v=kH-qXZD3yx0

>Wrooaaaaahkkkk

It's been at least a couple days since someone gave me the opportunity to post this:
>You are a paedophile
>You are a nonce
>You are a perv
>You're a slot badger
>You're a two-pin din plug
>You're a bush dodger
>You're a small bean regarder
>You're an unabummer
>You're a nut administrator
>You're a bent ref
>You're the Crazy World of Arthur Brown
>You're a fence foal
>You're a free willy
>You're a chimney bottler
>You're a bunty man
>You're a shrub rocketeer

Is this the birth of an epic new meme?

Unless the connection is your biological mother then fuck off were full

Some of them do take it a bit far, yeah.

Dunno lad but it kicks off with 10/8.

Their song 'Dance of Eternity' has 128 time changes according to wikipedia.

No. In my area, only Tory or Lib Dem ever win and I don't like either.

I
HATE
YOU

All people are inherently good deep dow...


Puppy drowned in bath by 'barbaric' burglars - bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-39515621

No. That's the point. Spell it the same way as everyone else, so it's 'arse'. Put the can of sheepdip down mate you're being inconsistent.

Slot badger is such a good insult