Military general thread

It's late at night and I'm drunk and faded as fuck so let's have a good ol' random military thread. Whether it be war stories, random funny shit or how current and previous members of the armed forces feel about recent events, dont matter!

> be me
> June 2010 in Zhari District of Kandahar province
> have to show up 4 hours prior to mission start time to "prep for mission"
> Mission start time was usually between 6 and 8 am
> I happened to be the platoon's "intel" guy so I had to show up one hour previous to the four hour previous at the TOC to get the current intel
> a replacement for a recent casualty who was cherry told my truck to get ready cuz he's taking a badass photo
> be super fucking pissed off already because there was absolutely no reason for me to be at the TOC 5 hours prior to start time
> try to smile but i just couldnt
> smoking 5 packs of middle eastern $4 per carton L&M cigarettes
> the flash when off and i thought it was a mortar attack
Heh. The best of times and the worst of times

if any of you late night fucks in the states of early rising euros want stories, funny or serious just post. I'll include photos for the lulz.

pic related
pic related

Other urls found in this thread:

wood.army.mil/sapper/).
thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/03/23/jeremy-morlock-army-killer-from-wasilla-pleads-guilty-to-afghan-murders.html
youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

> mfw I never noticed the black as night 4th person in the picture taken in 2010 until a few minutes ago

i have some hilarious stories about that guy too if interested

Whats daily life in garrison like?

will dump a few random pics

background: Hwy 1 in Kandahar Afghanistan. The retard taliban kept placing a 40LB IED in the same hole for 3 days in a row. Except they were retards. they did that as an excuse to bring in a road crew to try and bury 1200-1600 lb worth of hme while fixing the pot hold the original small one created.

>be inside afghan national army compound in tarin kowt air base, weapon set at "instant".
>ANA commander has lost internet to his personal PC. check fibre optic cable runs. find that rats have chewed his cores in the comms room. only 2 cores left. only about 20cm of length. have to fusion splice inside the FOBOT with the splicer on its side.
>1 shot.
>hands are sweaty arms spaghetti.
hit the arc button. perfect splice. amazing. so stoked.
>have to go into the commanders office for tea. door locked. slovak captain tries to leave. door locked. we are a little worried. its just 3 aussies and 1 slovak in the middle of the ANA section.
>eventually leave safely back to australian part of the base. ANA sucks.

>few months later my friends brother is killed by "friendly" ANA troop at morning parade (machine gun).

boring story but probably the most intense thing that happened while i was there apart from rocket attacks from the hills.

I hated it once i'd done a rotation.

my unit was super laid back for the most part and we still had several formations a day.

However it depends on what unit/job/skillset you have. We did route clearance and generally stayed pretty busy while in garrison. Field training on post for 5-15 days at a time every few months. Ranges in between that. A decent amount of temport duty stations (TDY) gigs for extra training. In my case that would be R2C2 (Route Reconnisance Command and Control) operator/sapper (2 weeks), EOCA (Explosive ordinance clearance agent), Sapper school (wood.army.mil/sapper/). In country there were also cool classes. For example, Blow In Place (BIP)...basically they train you to use c4 to blow up IEDs/ordinance we'd find. Post Blast Analysis school, where they gave us the tools to analyze the type and size of IEDs that went off (actually a great tool), and a few others i cant remember right now.

I've heard horror stories of my buddies who stayed in and reclassed though. One guy literally sits in a small office M-F 0930-1700 not doing anything at all.

ANA were fucking retards. So many of them died due to pure negligence and stupidity. AKA when someone is shooting at you, fucking run and find cover. don't just stand there praising allah.

I know that feeling being surrounded by those fuckers. We were forced to have "joint missions" with the ANA for a month or so. They would walk with us on patrol or ride with us in vehicles. They smelled like dogshit and one of them started smoking opium in my truck in the middle of a mission. later that day we had to block a bunch of traffic and he didnt come back. he'd passed out sitting against a hut and somone had stolen his weapon.

I was inside one of the MTF command rooms rooms, saw a map of the base which had locations of where weapons caches had been found, mostly around the outer walls, some inside the actual base though. RPG, ammo, PKMs and shit. Bit spooky.
also saw a video of a dude who had been killed trying to attack an australian FOB. ANP guy walks up after he got lit up (and killed), then sprayed a whole mag into him.

I know they have quotas but how many trannies do we have that you need a whole command room for them, for fuck's sake?

Man this picture really takes me back.

not everything is about trannies. too much Sup Forums for you. (traps are gay btw)

I'm going to Korea Saturday (air force)
Am I will kill?

probably.
larp or not?

Bump for more actual stories.

>that filthy fucking neck protector

I took that shit off right fucking away. By month 8, I took the piss flap off too. And I may have taken side plates out as well. I kinda wanted to die anyway. Glad I didn't.

Dead serious

I was on that road all the time. Used to go through Kandahar quite a bit. I remember a route called Candy Cane through the city. There was a fob between KAF and Leatherneck called Ramrod or some shit that had the gatorade shakes. Fuck those were good.

>aussie
I stayed on one of your bases for a few days, reconning a bridge. It was a tiny ass base but I can't remember the name of it. Stayed in a bay with a shit load of you Aussies and I swear to god you guys would go lift for a few hours, come back and bullshit then go lift for a few more hours.

Drink all that fucking Soju, and watch out for Songtan Sally

Joining Air Force soon. Wish me luck in boot camp. Anyone got any tips?

south korea right now is just a circle jerk you will be bored

Just gut it out and don't be a bitch. There's no secret to basic training. Just don't be a bitch.

$60-80 is the going rate for a mid tier whore on hooker hill, and if you're in osan and a old fat woman in her 50s asks you if you wanna go, you say yes

Thanks.

I was in Kandahar in 2012-2013 a part of GRF deployment. Also is this IED off of A-1?

They made bootcamp basically summer camp lite. You'll spend most of your day inside the classroom, and only go out to march (mostly under those raised buildings) and maybe pt twice a day. Other than that, its really tame.

Just play the Reindeer games and you'll do fine.

Best tip I have is go in with a plain no logo tshirt and jeans. Don't be a target.

After the sexual assault scandals in 2011, Basic has gotten a lot easier.

jesus christ that sounds terrible

No sweat. Lots of people tried to give me tips for army basic, but none of it really helped. I just kept my head down and mouth shut. You'd be surprised at what you can get used to. After 1 month was done, it wasn't so bad, and by the 3rd, basic was easy and I damn near felt like I was going to miss it.

First week is hell though. no way around that.

No her whores are shit. The best whores in Korea cost about 20000 won for an hour at Gangnam.

Oh, you might not shit for several days.

Thats normal. It's the weirdest fucking thing, I think its due to the stress.

One word:

Green Bean.


How many of you guys miss it?

I miss my butthole being puckered a little bit from random morning mortars attacks on our COP.

had one at MNB-TK. "duty first. coffee second".

I spent a solid week at jalalabad taking adderal with a guy I just met who had a prescription while we waited for a flight to joyce. Must have talked for a several days straight and could barely choke down a muffin the entire time.

You guys ever suck down RipIts or pre-workout before a mission?

I have nightmares about rocket attacks.

Not of the actual rockets, but the fucking Brit girl voice that would blare through KAF. Though, by the end of the deployment I would just put my headphones in and lay on my cot.

>be me
>inna basic training
>"why'd you join the infantry Jose?"
>to geet my seetisinship mang
>i can afford to put reems on my car after theese
>gringos make seetisinship 2 hard 2 geet
>"what about you Jamal?"
>finna get paid na'mean
>group of blacks constant trouble throughout training
>always talking, getting us smoked, getting in fights, etc.
>incompetent at literally everything
>DS BigNig constantly overlooking their rabble-rousing, general mediocrity, and inability to follow basic instructions
>realize I joined a glorified welfare program on a 3 year contract, and the nigs run the asylum
>get out of BCT and realize the women are even worse

Can we talk about degeneracy in the military? I spent more time being told not to rape people than I did training, and spent half my time trying not to say anything that would get me in shit

I joined out of pride and tradition, but this country isn't worth fighting for anymore

I hope this shit collapses because 2decadence5me

>post
>dude actually fucks a goat

Anything like this ever happen to you?

Fuckin Ripits were EVERYWHERE. I did at first, but I hated having to piss. I took up chew to stay awake.

The most difficult thing is just how long the days feel. If you're feeling stressed out, just remember that at least you're not some poor nigger getting necklaced in bongoland.

I hear ya bro. Good times for the most part

yeah i took that and the nut guard off shortly after that pic. swapped to plate carrier toward the end.

good luck friend! you might see some action, lol. for being air force :o

Yeah man I was stationed at Ramrod March 2010 to October. I had gate guard one day with Jeremy Morlock (thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/03/23/jeremy-morlock-army-killer-from-wasilla-pleads-guilty-to-afghan-murders.html ). He was an E-1 with no weapon by then. I asked him what he'd done. He straight up said they did some evil shit and got caught. Lol. Those ppl they wasted were guilty anyway, so i never was too pissed about the situation.

That unit (5/2 2/1 2nd ID) had so many KIA and wounded they had no fucks left to give. Some battle hardened motherfuckers they were.

HWY1, about 4 klicks W of How'ze

that pic was from my buddy's perspective. here was mine on that same IED

pic related

Tell me about the trannies
Are they passable?

Can I join the us military? I really want to do it becouse Patton was in the army and he is the coolest.

We have a massive military and fuck all to do. Most are jacked up animals that want to fuck and get $, so dumb shit happens. For the size we are and the training we receive, we'd need a big fucking war for our potential to be seen.

But nope, what we have is a war where we have fast internet, gaming 24/7, and coffee shops.

>women are even worse
You even look at them wrong and you get NJP'd. They love falsely claiming sexual and I know of a few guys who got reductions in rank because of it. It also gets put on file too.

>be me
>FWO
>spend entire contract ferrying shit and people around on a UH-60
>see basically no combat

Feelsgoodman.jpg

Exactly why I wouldn't join.

>ENT
>ENT
>ENT
>INCOMING
>INCOMING
>INCOMING

Damn thing was somehow more terrifying that the actual mortars.

>USAF
>not weaing ABUs

LARP confirmed.

Man. I drank between 8-20 of them a day for about 8 months while smoking cigs from the time i woke up to when i went to sleep. I had a hookup with the crazy indian dude in charge of food supplies and i'd grab a case every day.

sugar free grape FTW.

New-New Army sounds like the fun stuff. Glad I'm out.
Yeah they were, we had fucking pallets of them.
I called it, A-1 (HWY1) was a fucking death trap. 101st was getting fucked up all up and down that road for like 2 years.

First you need to become a citizen and renounce all ties to your home country. Then you need to go through a rigorous vetting process, especially because you were a foreign national.

Ramrod had it's name changed shortly after 2010, I think. Had to do with that death squad. Every fucking time we convoyed through that area, assholes would huck rocks at us. I swear, the MLB should tap into some of the Afghan youths for pitchers. Those little shits could nail me in a turret from 100 yards.

When we first got there I was so scared of those bastards. When we moved back to KAF with 2 months left in the rotation most of my platoon (including NCO's) would stand there with our arms spread when the sirens went off hoping to catch some shrapnel so we could go home. Lol.

unfortunately i never left TK (i was a fuckin pog)

>take ripit
>put in several scoops of jack3d
>chug
>proceed to workout in makeshift gym while screaming and feeling like bugs are eating through your skin

they only false claim until they get pregnant, usually less than a year into their first contract, then uncle sam shells out exorbitant amounts of money for them to sit on their ass

they never shouldve been fucking allowed to join in the first place

She was an angel when she echoed out ALL CLEAR

Those are ABUs.

ACUs are more blocky, that's obviously digital tigerstripe.

only got stuck outside once during the same thing at TK. it was the day before i was flying home. i was thinking "fuck, just my luck" as i hit the deck.

turned out to be just a drill.

Or professional pickpockets. The kids would try and grab shit off our kits and we'd have to tell them to fuck off. If you didn't get a rock thrown at you at some villages though, I'd expect the worst. That's just me though. Silence is not safe.

Just noticed, thanks for correcting my mistake.

Been to Afghanistan. Holy shit lad, i almost broke my left leg because of an IED, i'm in a field hospital right now, gonna go back to Wisconsin after 2 weeks

Would it be a problem if my dad served in my countrys army(South africa)

Fuck that shit.

how do you guys feel about fighting Israel's wars or it doesn't matter? just curious

Like you said, glorified welfare program. Also if the female has a soldier daddy then Uncle Sam doesn't pay, he does. They shouldn't be mixed in with the men, it only brings trouble.

youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8

you guys are still in afghan?

It's cool.

Man, let me tell you about those air force faggots, they know how to live.

I was ferrying some equipment on a UH-60 from Ft. Sill to Tinker AFB.

TIMKER HAS A FUCKIKG KEGERATOR IN THE PILOTS' LOUNGE.

Literally beer, on base, for the pilots.

My last month in country, we were in KAF (I'd been there before for 2 months, volunteer duty with another battalion so I was familiar with rocket attacks) and the sirens started blaring while my squad was in the motor pool doing dumb shit. Our E7 started barking at us to get to the concrete shelters, but I shouted back "It's Monday, they are just conducting a test", so we stayed out working and the E7 went back to doing jack shit.

About 2 hours later, he comes storming out just fucking pissed. "THAT WASN'T A TEST, THAT WAS REAL. I DON'T CARE IF WE LEAVE IN A MONTH, SHIT LIKE THAT COULD GET SOMEONE KILLED"

"oh yeah, the tests are on wednesday"

Damn. Sorry to hear you had a shit experience. Your unit must have been shitbirds.

Degeneracy is all over the place in the military for sure. Especially in certain MOS's/HQ companies. Cooks, mechanics, and paper pusher MOS all were pieces of shit. I was lucky to be in a very good unit from BN down to company.

You're full of shit.
Rotations still go through, but it's mostly just SOF.

I am not an expert. I myself only went through MEPS (physical/paperwork) a few months ago. I wouldn't say it would be a problem, but I am not even a Private yet

>Kuwait flag
>are you still in A-Stan?

Nice.

i would have been pissed too.

S-1 was always shit where I was.
>S-1 Shop opens at 1300
>Closes for "30 minute meeting"
>Stops people from coming in unless they have OPs form stating what they need
>Takes sweet ass time doing simple shit
>Closes at 1500

Sounds like a recipe for disaster. There is a reason they call it the Chair Force

he said he's in a field hospital moron. i assumed he meant he was in afghan, got injured by IED, got sent to kuwait for rehab.

>Kuwait
>field hospital
>A-Stan

Out of all the things that have happened this didn't the most.

If I'd been an e7, sure, but I was an e5 and really didn't want to sit in a bunker for an hour waiting for a fucking all clear. They did do tests on certain days, so i figured I could pass of that little lie and not want to blow my brains out for an hour waiting.

It's a fucking joke. I asked about it and nobody really had an answer for me.

I don't miss being in. Thankful for the training and the education, but peacetime military isn't for me.

Yeah, he did, guess what: Kuwait HAS ACTUAL FUCKING HOSPITALS.

Not to mention that normal units don't rotate through the Stan anymore. Thus dude is a LARPing faggot.

No, it wouldn't be an issue. We had an Argentinian Naval Captain become a US citizen and became a Specialist. Last I heard he was in Ranger battalion. As long as your father didn't commit any crimes and served honorably you'll be fine. They'll do extra work on a background check, but other than that I wouldn't worry about it. You're not held responsible for the actions of your family.

Thanks also just another question I happen to own a large portfolio of stocks. My financials barring anything shady would not be a problem correct?

Immigration is really fucking hard. Good luck m80.

Best advice I have is to get an American to marry you.

bro i fucking love me some green bean

I dont really want to get married but if it is the only option does anyone here have sister or cousin between the ages of 18-22(my age range) thats single and looking for a man.

pic related

Interesting. That was a crazy FOB. Head West 10 or so KM and you had Sangin Valley, Lash Kar Gah, and the Helmand River valley green zone. East you got Zhari and Maiwand districts in Kandahar province with the Argandab river and it's green zone. We went both W and E and it was always a fucking shit show.

During Ramadan in 2010 we had contact of some sort every day for over a month. including complex ambushes, 40 jug (1600 LB) IEDs, random mortar attacks, close-range RPG attacks (a guy popped out from a grape vinyard and shot at my buffalo from about 15 M away. he shot about 5-10 ft in front of my truck. i saw the very faint vapor trail and shit myself. Luckily my buddy in the truck behind me popped the hatch of his RG and wasted the dude lol).

Those kids were Nolan Ryan with rocks....agreed. We resorted to making piss-bottle MRE bombs and throwing those at them. heh.


Pic is from a random dismounted clearance patrol the day after there was 5 KIA from a 40LB (very small) IED. it was a 4th ID tanker unit who Big Army decided to turn into infantry cats once they got into country. The first chaplain to die in combat in 40 years was amongst the dead. They placed the IED in an area with a lot of vehicle pitch to cause a rollover. Unfortunately for us they were in a MAT-V (worst MRAP ever. they literally glued the front and back on with epoxy and that epoxy would burn burn burn) and the blast bent the frame enough they couldn't open the doors. So they were flipped upside down and the doors wouldn't open. The MAT-V caught fire and they all burned to death. Really fucked up shit.

how soon will be bombarded with military advertisement to join for the war against syria and egypt and iran and north korea and russia and flooding our countries with shitskins

Na. Shit they'll probably assume he was some sort of Rhodesian badass.

With H-1Bs drying up, marriage visas are basically the only option right now.

>faded
Stop that you fucking retarded degenerate. You're going to dishonorably discharged.

your "brothers" died for shit eaters and you aren't cool for being a soldier because you saw a dead body once

...

...

have you ever not gave a fuck about your self and cared about other humans that don't want to play your globalist games that make you dead and them richer

No but I'm cool for flying helicopters. Gets bitches p wet.

Man let me tell you about flying into the Korengal.

One of my first times to fly into a hot zone was when we were extracting our last guys from the Korengal in 2010.

That shit was spooky as fuck.

Today was sort of a big day for us, remembering the 100th anniversary of Vimy Ridge. Pic related is my CO.

>Those soldiers
10/10 would bust ghosts with.