Excuse Me Sir

>We are overbooked on this flight. You are going to have to leave the plane.

What do?

Other urls found in this thread:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=xbVw7entkxg
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Beat them up before they beat me up.

Demand at least 10x my ticket price back and a year free of travel or they risk violating the NAP.

Cuck

Complain as I get my things, leave the plane, check my ticket and contract and basic aviation laws for the situaiton and what I'm entitled too, accept compensation if nothing else can be done or call my lawyer and refuse compensation until I speak with him. Reschedule my flight for later that day/the next day.

Never book on a chink airline again

But nobody else is on the plane... and you're blocking the isle, so I can't even leave if I wanted to.

Shoebomb activate

Tell them to invest in better infrastructure so they don't have to last-minute-rush crew members to their flights at the expense of the people keeping their corporation afloat.

*unzip dick*

>flag

Ok. You're going to be cutting me a check for 3 times the amount as stated by U.S. law and I'm going to buy the next available ticket.

AM I BEING DETAINED? I AM A SOVEREIGN I AM TRAVELLING NOT FLYING

AM I BEING DETAINED!?

Refuse until they bump up the compensation package to at least $1500 plus a rental car and hotel expenses

>payed your ticket
>there suppose to this this before you sit down.
do nothing

>ALLAH AKHBAR
>lunges at them

Offer to leave for $1000, hotel stay, food and a new ticket. Why wouldn't you?

this whole thing is nothing but a story to distract normies from reality.

Throw poo in their face and scream like a baboon.

Understand that the NAP requires that I submit to the regulations they set forth while I'm upon their property and leave while politely informing them that this situation will undoubtedly effect my decision process when selecting an airline to do business with in the future.

Why did you let me board if you overbooked fucktards? I'll get off for $2,000 cash not vouchers, overnight stay in a hotel and a ticket to anywhere in the world.

This, because I'm not a beta c u c k autist

RACIST, FUCK DRUMPF!

that's a good offer

>Excuse me sir, can I fuck your wife?
Okay I understand.
Just let me get my things. Mind if I watch?

Offer them pills to fuck them in the ass

Just a hypothetical but what if you were a doctor and needed to be at your destination by the next morning to meet with a patient?

Defecate violently so they have to ground the plane for hours to clean.

>sees wife cheating on him

>i aint gonna sweat the small stuff user , im winning in this situ

>get off plane
>sneak back on board with incoming crewmen
>sit in same seat
>told to get off the plane again
>bitch and moan because I have a date with my canadian boyfriend
>cops show up and drag me out
>scream autistically while shouting REEEEEEEEEEEEE

>i am become next meme and get filmed throwing my tantrum knowing i will be getting a hefty payday at the cost of whatever remained of my 'dignity'

As long as I get my money back you have the right not to serve me. Also heil Hitler

>refuse
>get arrested
>get beaten by police
>kick out window on the way out of plane so it cant take off
>see shitstorm on news
>possibly get money out of it

Refuse to leave and put up as much resistance as possible.

Seriously though, that Asian dude who got hauled off the plane is going to get sooooooooooooooooo much fucking money from this. He's hit the jackpot big time.

Be glad they didn't shoot me right then and there for violating the NAP by being on their private property after they rescinded my invitation and leave.

>or maybe I should cry and throw a tantrum like a little schoolboy bitch...
>a.k.a or maybe I should defend my right as a consumer and an American.

I've never read such a cuck statement in my entire life.

REEEEEEEEEE THIS IS A VIOLATION OF THE NON AGGRESSION PRINCIPLE. THIS IS SELF DEFENCE

>raise hell
>get shot

Tell them I will do it for a $400 voucher and three free Sky Vodka shots next flight. No compliance on their part will lead to the immediate detonation of my bowels.

Remember to demand it in cash, or they will fuck you by giving it all in vouchers.

Overbooking a plane with the assumption some people won't show up should be illegal.

>But I have a connecting flight which I need t make if I'm going to make it to my job interview

however they will have been unaware that this is merely a ruse I don't have a connecting flight, I don't have a job interview, I am merely distracting and confusing them while I unsheathe my nunchuks

get off the plane, usually they'll upgrade you to first class for the next flight for the inconvenience

>y-you too

>that webm
Jesus that's fucked up man. Still had a chuckle, but I mean wtf

>Trespassing
>Go to prison
Make sure to bend over for Tyrone alright? He will enjoy your sweet little boypucci. Don't worry about your wife back home, she will be fine with Jamal and Pedro.

nu

it's dumb, but it's the same principle as banks lending out more money than they have in order to make profit on the interest.

Most of the time it's fine because not everyone gets on the plane or not everyone wants their money at once.

But when they do, shit hits the fan.

Tell them i want one of the young hot air stewardesses to blow me 1st obviosly

I would completely reee the fuck out and hire a hook-nosed lawyer

>This
Being me I'd probably be hammered before getting on the plane so good luck trying to get me off

...

That's nice. Use my money I gave you to call a charter plane. Either for me. Right the fuck now. Or for your fat cow bumble fucks of employees. If not. We can repeat the Chinaman doctor incident. Choose wisely

I'd ask them to give me the fastest rental car they have and drive through the night to make it to the hospital in the morning. I'd livestream the whole thing and become the next big viral sensation with my Vanishing Point inspired feat. That or ask the patient to reschedule.

Grab her by her scarf and take her hostage until they agree to my terms of 20 packages of tendies and a motel room for layover.

Ah that s an incontinent, but these things happen. Id like a full refund for my return ticket and a complimentary seat on the next available plane then, bumped up to first class please.

>Trespassing on a piece of property I payed to be on for the next 2 hours.
>Being a doctor with a legitimate reason to refuse to give up my seat.

You think this guy is going to jail? He's going to be yacht shopping by the end of the year.

@120682002
Hes doing this on purpose guys. He needs the attention

>you're going to have to leave the plane
make me
>photo evidence makes juries wet....
payday

Flag checks out

>We are overbooked on this flight. You are going to have to leave the plane.
Pay me $1350
>Here you go, Sir. $1350.
I will pay you $1350 to have spend the night with me...

Unfortunately im on military orders and must be at _insert location___ as soon as possible.
[produces 1/??? Copies of military orders]
If you would like i can call my commander and we can arrange if im able to stay in terminal but i may have a court martial if i am late since im really pressed for time could you maybe make an exception?

Then you should have booked your flight for a day or two earlier. If inclement weather, or some unforeseen circumstance caused your flight to be canceled, would it still be the airline's fault you weren't able to meet with your patient?

Scream "THIS IS HOW FREEDOM DIES AND TYRANNY TRIUMPHS. FOR THE REPUBLIC!!!!"
I then launch a flying anime kick at the female attendants head. With her down, I throat punch the male attendant. While he is gasping for air, I retake my seat and calmly say.

"This seat is taken"

>Ah that s an incontinent
What, are you going to protest shit yourself in response to being pulled off the plane?

Ask for a free flight and discounted rental car so I can drive to my destination. Let's be honest here though how hard of math is it to just subtract 4 from the planes total capacity and only sell that many tickets.

On a side note, was this doctor guy a shitty person? I live near o hare and have been ignoring most of this shit.

Reeee like i reeeeeed never before

immediately defecate in pants

no one will come near you or touch you

checkmate, atheists

>Sir, we are going to fully refund your flight, give you additional cash, hotel accommodation, food vouchers, and the next available ticket to your destination at no charge.

Of course, I'll deplane in a timely manner so this flight can get on its way. I sure am glad nobody snatched my payday by accepting that monopoly money voucher!

Get off and get my refund along with my ticket being comped, instead of being a stupid nigger.

I mean, probably.

Not really pertinent though.

>draw pistol
>shoot both in head
>calmly retake seat
>say aloud to the rest of the plane "always bet on black"
>put on sunglasses in very cool black guy fashion

>if you don't act like a nigger and glorify animal cruelty, you belong on reddit

t. nigger

Get ready for the brawl.

underrated

When crew are booked it does take away tickets that could otherwise be purchased. This had to be on really short notice for the passengers to be on the plane already.

>THAT'S A RELIEF, THANKS. TO BE HONEST, I HAD AN UNEASY FEELING ABOUT THIS FLIGHT ANYWAY. FIRST WAS THE MIDDLE-EASTERN FELLA SPENDING TOO LONG TYING HIS SHOE AS I BOARDED, NEXT WAS THAT WEIRD CLICKING WHEN THE PILOT WAS TESTING THE FLAPS. DO THEY ALWAYS STUTTER LIKE THAT? ANYWAY, THANKS, I'LL FEEL MUCH SAFER ON THE NEXT FLIGHT.

or

>REALLY? BUT MY UNCLE IS THE CEO. WHY WOULD HE WANT ME OFF THIS PARTICULAR PLANE? UNLESS HE KNOWS SOMETHING I DON'T....

Giggle stupidly as half the passengers exit.

Put on the mask

>REALLY? BUT MY UNCLE IS THE CEO. WHY WOULD HE WANT ME OFF THIS PARTICULAR PLANE? UNLESS HE KNOWS SOMETHING I DON'T....

I like you user.

>stay in a shitty hotel all night
>eat some garbage in an airport restaurant
>have to wait until tomorrow doing nothing
>just want to go home
sounds like shit dude

Well I would demand to be upgraded to first class on the next two flights if they are available, food vouchers, hotel or rental car if the next flight isn't going in the near 4-5 hours, and 1k in cash.

If they don't bite it then I'll just inform them that I have multiple check ins one of which is a firearm. That should stear them to a different person because, they ain't gonna want to search the cargo bay for my shit

Pull out my AssadTech sarin grenade and blow them up for violating the NAP.

First rule of united airlines club, dont talk about united airlines club

>If they don't bite it then I'll just inform them that I have multiple check ins one of which is a firearm.

Hmm. I'm going to start labeling my suitcases 1, 3, and 4 just in case this ever happens.

>Where's my other suitcase?

>If inclement weather
False equivalence

>you would stay on that plane regardless

what's it matter. take the money

Doctor Dao I'm TSA.

They don't even have to pull your bags off if the flight isn't international, that's a courtesy.

They can see exactly how many bags you checked.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=xbVw7entkxg

Wait for them to beat me up and then sue them for $20 million.

Strip down, shit in my hand and rub it all over myself

Who's leaving now

I'M NOT LEAVING THE PLANE! I KNOW MY RIGHTS! ASS COP! BUTTFUCKER!

The only rights you have, are those that they tell you that you have.

Test it and find out yourself.

Make a fuss until their offer me 800 dollars.

Demand to fill my bags and pockets with on-board nuts and miniature coke-cans as compensation, and while stuffing it all in any open pocket I can find, whine loudly about how outrageous their request, which I'm complying with, is, and how they'll hear from my lawyer.

>Gee wiz that is unfortunate, however I understand that United is able to prioritize the transport of their employees so that they may function as a company. I also understand that I will be compensated for my sacrifice. I am a reasonable human being so I will not howl, screech, or thrash my arms around like a sub-human gook monkey.

>They don't even have to pull your bags off if the flight isn't international, that's a courtesy.
Why do you think I added the gun bit to it. The amount of whistles and shit to check in a gun is pain in the ass and the average flight steward ain't gonna know if that is a item that has to be pulled off the plane or not. They are in a mission to get the plane ready to go. They would much rather go after someone else than face the possibility of delaying the flight for longer.

OH MY GAWD. WHY WOULD YOU CONCUSS A MAN BEFORE THROWING HIM OFF THE PLANE?!

Leave, get reimbursed, then board another flight because I'm not a putrid commie or chink insectoid.

Just a hypothetical, but what if your mother died in her sleep tonight and all immunities are null?