You wake up in Rome

You wakw up in Rome

You have:
>A chest with 20,000 Denarius (400,000 us dollars aprox).
>A sword and a dagger
>Traditional roman clothes
>You manage to speak the language

What do?

I build my own Ludus

*unzips dick*

Buy a sweet villa and a bunch of slaves. Pick myself up a few concubines and get some trusted guards then live the good life while openly praying to the gods for a lack of pestilence.
Also check the date just in case I need to evade some Germans.

This thread would be better on /his/.

I become batmanicus and reap the dirty Muslim sun god phase before it grows. Problem solved

If you live in a time when you need to evade some Germans in Rome then you're already fucked.

Spread christianity :^)

Fuck some prime boipussi

Nah. It's not like they are everywhere. Remember population levels were really low back there and the Germans didn't invade much of the Empire.
Having to move to Greece isn't the worst thing that could happen.

Start a hate group called pol, kill all the niggers and jews.

Spread Hindu-Arabic numeral system and try to advance technology as far as I can.

Ask to be directed to the nearest Suebi lady so I can conquer her divide.

BY JUPITER'S COCK

i start turning the poor against the roman empire by promoting jesus goy

Go to greece and become a faggot.

these

Build wall

I take all that money and go to ceaser with a plan to reach the America's. I know enough about sail boats to move the roman's a thousand years forward on their ship technology. If I can get Caesar's backing we can found America 2000 years ahead of time, decimate the natives with disease, but this time no African slaves.

Maybe... If you don't mind your descendants being raped and brutally conquered by Mehmet...

When in Rome :^)

>"Invent" algebra and calculus
>be remembered as greatest genius of all time
>kill all the Jews
>the world will never know the good I've done
>"invent" new military tactics/equipment
>conquer all of Europe for Rome

move to judea and assasinate jesus and save the roman empire. If i'm too late for that i move to greece spread some knowledge to my future generation like murica and the third crusade.

Start my own bank and make my goal for my bloodline to eradicate jews and muslims

What year?

pay some whores to suck muh dik

Warn them about Arminius. Also, kill the jews.

fpbp

I'd get membership to the Library of Alexandria

Buy a bath house. Bang Roman sluts.

>start my own bank
>bloodline
>eradicate jews
But user, you are the jews

underrated post

I become a champion for the people.

Land must be redistributed to those who deserve it.

I will use the political system against itself to achieve this, this will be the golden age of Rome!

Live shitpost at the forum

>Not giving them strict instructions to move back to Western Europe in a few centuries.
Ideally I'd get them back in England along with the Norman invasion like my ancestor did originally. If they can get the landed title in southern England again then I'll call it a job well done.

don't you see i now have a chance to change that?

Start investing in bitcoin?

I would do pic related.

Get out of the degenerate city and

jesus wasn't a real fucking historical figure moron.

Accidentally kill everyone with the polio and other shit that I am immunized for and they are not.

Proof?

i'd be the only one here that wouldn't be considered a barbarian

except the other italian user

If you're going to kill a religious figure, kill Abraham

You stop 3 religions in one fell swoop

are you sure?

This x 100. Imagine America with no niggers or shitskins

stop them from killing Julius

>Being this retarded

>wasn't a historical figure
He is a historical figure now, isn't he?

become a latifundist
go into politics and demean plebeians publicly
bitches, slaves, song and red wine until l i die

Bury chest somewhere quiet. Take a few denarious and hire some guards because I have no fucking idea how to use a sword. Ask about local businesses. Shop for a home if staying locally.

Find myself completely ignorant of the social dynamics, and lose everything within a month due to treachery and faux paus.

want to go laugh at barbarians fighting in the circus?

t. kikie sanders

Eh you have to prove something existed, not the other way around.
There are some roman stuff that mentions jesus, but depending on the source you look at people decry it as fake. It is pretty sad, because you as a normal person have no idea and can only trust other people.

Gaius

>I need to evade some Germans.

Spoken like a true eternal Anglo.

Become an economist ahead of my times. Use my knowledge of future technologies to present myself, fraudulently, as a great wise man. Try to not get murdered for witchcraft or some shit by not going full iPhone in Rome.

Gain the respect of the people with my (((great))) knowledge and then use that influence in order to advise Caesar. Warn him of the dangers of massive wealth and the importance of remaining culturally unified. If it's Julius I'm talking to, then warn him somehow of Brutus' impending betrayal

sure lets go

Infiltrate the top levels of government and make horrible political decisions so the Persians can take over.

I ask a fellow Roman under who's Consolate I am under or ask a historian what year AUC it is to figure out what year it is, then I plan accordingly

>wake up and think i am going to rule the world
>then I see my body cant handle the water
>yikes...my body cant handle the parasites in the room temp meats either...plus the food doesnt have the chemical preservatives my body is used to.
>I sneeze, introducing my 21st century virus into the ancient world...2000 years evolved beyond any cold virus they ever had...everybody dies...except me...I die from intestinal parasites and the shits.

Basically this. You won't have any knowledge about traditions and customs.

steal Northen European smithing techniques
cop Iranian steel
move to the East
bolster defenses
survive Turk onslaught(s)

Byzantine Empire stretches solar system today

Ironically my male line ancestors are from the Vandal tribe so I'd be evading my countrymen of the time.

>Try to not get murdered for witchcraft
just pretend to be greek, we didn't murder people for that back then

pray it's not cicero

Also as advisor to the Caesar, I'd do my best to get the Jews holocausted for real.

I'm gonna fuck every whore in the city

if would find a large rock surface and write:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>Making the oldest copy paste ever

Socrates was murdered for thinking harder than everyone else lmao

It depends on what year ---then I would like to meet the leading poet of that era.

What year?

>Hide chest & sword in a safe, secretive place. Take out 165 Denarius.
>Hide dagger beneath clothes.
>Go to a barber, small talk about current events while getting a shave.
>Rent a place to stay for a couple days, then consider my options.

socrates wasn't a roman citizen

Go down in History as a famous "explorer" by "discovering" new lands.

this is literally what would hapen

fuck a cute femboy

...

BLOOD RAINS DOWN FROM AN ANGRY SKY

- Use money to buy sailing ship and a crew
- Sail west when the tradewinds are right
- Discover America, but because I found it and not Amerigo Vespucci, America will be called Anonica
- Sail back to Rome and tell emperor I found him 2 new continents
- Start populating Anonica with Europeans
- 10 years later the emperor loves me because I made him even filthier rich than he already was and tripled the size of the Roman empire
- He gains my trust
- Warn him about the African problem
- Tell him to invade Africa and kill everyone, spare no one
- Roman legions swarm Africa for 30 years and kill every nigger
- On death bed Roman emperor calls me in, says I've done more for Rome than any man who ever lived
- He tells me even though I've done more than anyone I can't be emperor because I'm not noble blood and he has to give it to his faggot son
- As he lays there crying I choke him to death with his pillow
- Tell guards he died peacefully in his sleep and his last words were "Make user emperor of Rome."
- Be made emperor of Rome then later star in a movie with Russelicus Cromagnium, a most famous Roman thespian

Quas nugas diabolicas de me jamjamque dicisti, tu pusio putens? Quid tibi dicem, memento: ego optimo optimorum navigare didicit, ego contra Punicorum pravorum proelia numerosa absconsa commisi, ego trecenti nebulones occidisse scior. Ego bellum apsconditum novi, ego sagittarius abstrusus optimus copiae Americae sum. Te solummodo alium destinatum interficiendum esse arbitror. Te, parasitum, ad amussem, qua orbum terrarum non novi, delebo, orsum meum memento. Dictis in tela terrarum nugis eis te evadere potesse putas? Cogita iterum, caenum. Cum fabulamus, decuriam absconsam speculatorum trans America communico sifraque personalis tuas jamjamque designantur, ita cladem para, vermis. Cladem, qui rem parvam miserendam, qui vitam tuam nominas, delebit. Mortus es, pusio putens. Usquam quoquamque esse possum, atque septigentis modis te manibus nudis interficere possum. Nonsolum deluctionem inermem plurifariam exercui, sed etiam armamentarium totum militum classiariorum Americae uti possum, et id plene ad te consumendum utar, blenus parvus. Si, quam poenam horrendam adnotamenti “ingeniosi” tui causa des, scieris, tacuieris. Sed non tacuisti, itaque coerceor, morio diabolice. Furam, et in furore meo merges. Mortus es, pusio.

t. tiberius gracchus

>because I'm not noble blood
it wasn't as important as you think, plenty of emperors were just former soldiers, vespasianus was just a guy that rose through the ranks

Hire a mercenary army of Thracian Calvary and raid/pillage Nubian's and Jew's

this needs to be etched in stone anyway, as we cant date rock, so 1,000 years from now they will attribute this to Romans

Start producing gun powder. Elevate my status in society and go after the jews.

Invent kebab, sell kebab, become kebab god. Rape slave in the free time.

you sexy motherfucker

>Ameriburger doesn't realize how Emperor succession works
I think you'd be killed or ignored as a madman before you hit 2 weeks in Rome

I wait until the police release me from the drunk tank and take the first flight to Helsinki
What a night that must've been

Sad

Well considering it mentions the navy seals and America i doubt it.

>kill all the niggers and jews.
Their owners would be quite mad at you if you did

Warn them of the jew obviously

Establish a /POLis of course. It will have hte most based philosophical forum right in the center

DELET

We cant date rock? I thought we dated rocks by the sediment layers.

Toga party

I try communism

Best fucking post. When in Rome, fuck a goddamn harem!

>What do?
WARN THEM, WARN THEM ABOUT IT ALL