Well?

...

Convert to the allfather, you cucks.

Jesus was God's test tube baby.

He sent the DNA sequence to aliens who manufactured his embryo and then implanted it into Mary.

coded for...
- vast psionic powers
- ability communicate with high dimensional part of his soul
- genetic memory

She cheated either way, Joseph was a cuck, and a pedo since Mary was only 12, and God's a pedo too, the whole thing is just fucked up.

>A Jewish girl lied about cheating on her husband
This was Joseph's first thought, and almost put Mary to death because of it, as per Levitical law.

So Jesus is The Emperor of Mankind?

Mary's age at the time of Jesus' birth is unknown.

She was a virgin betrothed instead of marrying. Age of marriage for Jews back then was 12 for girls, so she was likely around that age.

>Mary's age at the time of Jesus' birth is unknown.
12

Murphy's Law. If it can happen, it will happen.

Except for you getting a girlfriend*

The whole point of it is that you put the most humble leader concievable at the top of all dominance hiearchies as king of kings as alpha as omega and surrender to he who tells you to surrender yourself for the flock as lambs. This forces you to be kinder to the meek and those below you in hiearchy status. When you fall from your status, other Christians will apply this to you. Other beliefs that are works based or follow a living and haughty leader ultimately make you grade your fellow man's worth and existence and therefore not love your neighbor but see them as assets or competition. If you were to look at Christ as an outsider you see a criminal cult leader bastard child. If you see his logos and divinity then you understand that no other leader could ever possibly be more merciful and kind when you compare him to every other king, god emperor or Caesar. Christ is meme magic for the jews 2000 years ago. After years of sacrificing lambs to God, God sacrificed his son to us in prophecy.

What's more likely:
The Jews are the chosen people of God, and God approves of their usury and sacrificing of children?
Or that the Jews are the chosen people of Moloch, and have fallen into their Old Testament sinful ways by sacrificing children to Moloch in exchange for power and wealth?

trick question, jews never lie

Yes

Jews didn't exist when Jesus was born

>implying it ever even happened

It's going to be a good day when christ cucks fuck off back to back to whatever shit hole they came from.

exactly

The Jews are the chosen people of God, because they are so much better, driven and wiser than everyone else in reality. He approves of the ursury as it is a free act and helps some people who do it right. He strictly forbade human sacrifice.

except Jesus was latter proven to be God, so your Talmudic opinion is untrue.

now that's what I call shitpost

Problem of induction.
Secret power of bread.
Necessary connections.

Get fucked stay fucked empiricucks.

There is another option conveniently left out:
Maybe she wasn't pregnant?

The first option leaves out the part where the child actually grew up and completed his task and accurately did exactly what the old testament said would happen.

Or the Roman Empire had a local governor create a pacifist religion pieced together by taking parts of Zoroastrianism, Buddhism, Eqyptian mythology and Judaism to help calm the growing Zionist zealot movement in ancient Judea.

They weren't Jews

>Jesus was born into the well organized Order of the Essene. The Essene where healers headquartered in Galilee, north of Samaria, among the Gentiles.

>A decree had been issued in 103 B.C. that forced everyone in Israel to conform to Mosaic law. Jesus’ parents, Joseph and Mary were Gentiles. They were Aryans who were Jewish, like many in Israel at the time, only by law. They lived in Galilee, but not in Nazareth, because this village did not exist at the time. Rather Jesus was referred to as Nazarene because this was the word the Jews used at the time to describe anyone who did not fully adhere to Judaism or who professed a different faith.

Commies had the right idea about religious cucks.

The bit that I struggle with is Joseph not smashing that pus' after and putting more kids in her.

The left
I'm sure. Must be why the Roman Catholic Church is the most powerful organization to ever exist and has accomplished more than anyone else

Joseph is not a cuck.

In the Bible he is upset, until an angel literally visits him personally and says Jesus was really God's son.

THE ANGEL VISITED JOSEPH.

Stop making this thread dumb fedora tippers.

Why didn't Joe put kids in her afterwards? She was an eternal virgin, right? So he didn't even fuck her and shoot blanks.

And aren't you supposed to fuck your wife to have a legit marriage?

Also: if she was a virgin after giving birth to Jesus does that mean Jesus teleported out or created a portal through her hymen so as not to break it?

>THE ANGEL VISITED JOSEPH.
No such thing as angels, he must have been feeling so cucked that he started hallucinating.

He did have others kids with her but i think the Catholics have this sorta view of Mary being an eternal virgin.

Alvis bless us, everyone.

I'm reading the Orthodox Study Bible now and it says the same thing. Passages refer to his brothers and they say they're Joseph's by his previous wife or his cousins.

Kek

christfags should fuck off. they worship the same bullshit the kikes and sandniggers do, just slightly westernized

...and just happened to have a son afterward who claimed to be the creator of the universe.
Dumb argument is dumb.

this

What's more likely:
1. An invisible guy zapped up a universe with a magic wand.
2. A conman created the invisible guy story in order to scam idiots out of their cash.

So now you're realizing that the bible don't reals? About time.

>jesus wasn't a jew meme

Then how were they slaves building the pyramids in Egypt way before that?

...

The funniest thing would be if there is a heaven and god, but all of our religions were still made by conmen to scam idiots out of money. And those conmen now get to see all of these religious idiots fall for it thousands of years later.

I wish they never existed

Jews didn't build pyramids, there is 0 archeological evidences of it, ever.

The bible doesnt say they did its just asumed

i wouldn't doubt anything anymore

too many visions, weird dreams, i'm pretty sure ghosts are real and that Jesus was real, did miracles, and was right about everything

>Wife lied and said the creator of the universe got her pregnant
>Tells this to the son
>Obviously he believes it and says it himself
WOW WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED?

I'm not on one side or the other, but your post was just so fucking retarded I had to double check and make sure there wasn't a leaf flag

No thank you

What is youre source for this copy and pasted information?

>Obviously he believes it
Jesus wasn't crusified at 8 years old, lad.

the pyramids were not built by slaves

it was easy to check if she was still virgin
you total virgin

Praise Alvis!

I'm sure. Must be why the Roman Catholic Church has declined greatly over the last 400 years, becoming a shell of it's former greatness.

And? Do you think anyone would give a shit about a child talking make believe?

Well they did say, to paraphrase from memory, that He spoke with what seemed to be great wisdom when He spoke to priests and such as a child, but my point was that Jesus grew into a man. That He was just some random grown man who believed He was the Christ because his mommy told Him so, and Mary not to be accused of the obvious adultery possibility by anyone of the time, is silly.