Ay man, can I use your phone?

ay man, can I use your phone?

Why of course my fellow American citizen

"I have a strict no niggers policy."

im all outta minutes, DeVonte'...

Of course, its always sad to see an unfortunate soul battling against a system rigged against them.

I've had to pull a gun on a nig nag before over this very plot premise.

what the fuck do you say?

seriously?

its as if i would expect this nigger to just implicitly know not to ask that question but in all honesty, i would just be truly shocked at the gall of that smelly beast to put me on the spot like that?

say no and kill will probably kill you... is your life worth a phone?

>inb4 hurrr conceal carry
not everyones as luck as you suburban/rural retard

no

i don't have a phone

>calls you an asshole after you say no
>seen 30 seconds later pulling an iphone out of his pocket to call someone

Sorry, no phone.

Ain't got a phone, bruv.
-pulls out phone and txts gf with 911 on speed dial-
Around niggers, never relax

No

This. Always this.

Explain.

lemme see your wallet nigga

Do you know a Mr. Ayak?

>Immediately cease relaxing
>"Ah sorry mate it's about to die...wish I could help"
>pretend to be in a hurry to get somewhere
>quickly walk away from nigger before he robs me

Remember....never relax.

In America he would have an Obama phone unless of course he sold it for fried chicken or crack or something

(checked)

aight man, you good

(checked)
(self-checked)

>Ay man, what time it is?

Always a prelude to getting robbed.

>be me
>get out of car at Winco Foods parking lot at 2am
>homeless looking nog is right there
>ayo you got a phone?
>yeah
>ay I need to make a phonecall real bad
>sorry, I don't know you well enough to give up my phone
>ay FUCK YOU
>nig reaches for what turned out to be a knife as I simultaneously pull my hand out of my pocket that was already gripping my G26 from a pocket holster
>GET THE FUCK BACK
>RIGHT NOW
>nignog books it
>I call police and report what happened
>I check police website for next few days looking for mugshots, but is useless since the description I gave them was only height and weight, since he looked like the proverbial floating teeth and eyes in the darkness.

>gibs me dat

I would completely ignore him and walk away.

You should've killed him.

>showing your back
oh you done now white boy

>civic nationalism instincts kicking in
sure bro... please make it quick tho

I allowed nogs to use my phone three times when I screwed up my life and was around them constantly. Nobody thought to explain to their relatives that the number they were calling from was not properly theirs. I got incoherent texts for months afterward.

Sure, only if we can put it on speaker and I hold it the entire time my fellow man.

Nice roleplaying.

Reminds me of that time when I was 14 and I told people online I broke someones arm for messing with me.

You should have killed him.

Yeah, the thing is, I already had my gun out before it became clear what he was reaching for was a knife.
My brain had already sent the signal to tell him to fuck off as I drew not knowing whether he was armed or not.
Before my mind had time to process the Zim Zam ramifications of me shooting this nig he was already running away, and I didn't want to get arrested after dumping rounds into this nig's back.

>Nobody thought to explain to their relatives that the number they were calling from was not properly theirs. I got incoherent texts for months afterward.

my fucking sides

Ok thanks for the details.

You should have killed him.

*places hand in pocket*

no

swear to god, walking through the hood in the middle of the night in LA, on a 10 mile walk to my house in another hood, holding a beer in a bag, high on cocaine, I'm white, a nig asks to use my phone, I let him, he calls someone, doesn't get an answer, hands me back my phone, continue walking

you should have empty'd into that nig.

Phones Closed

I dont have a phone

When I lived in Chicago I let one use my phone, because I knew I could beat his ass if he tried anything, he made a few phone calls and when I got my phone back it was covered in grease and for months people texted me asking about that weed.

Now I just say "cant do it" real stern. Same thing I say when anyone asks me to do anything for them like give money or a ride.

I just don't go out late night anymore cause of shit like this -- not violent shit like this, but just niggers begging me for money, etc. when I'm trying to go to 7-11.

It really is true that nothing good happens after midnight.

Also stuff like asking you for your phone is a ploy to get you occupied in your pockets so they can sucker punch and jump you, 9 times out of 10

>implying this story is not completely believable
You must live in a thoroughly unenriched area, lucky you.

No, fuck off nigger.

>Ya sure buddy
>*reach into pocket*
>pull out

ight nigger

don't be a retard, treat him like a human, look him in the eye and say "nah sorry man, i can't be doing that."

might want to add an "i gotta go" and skidaddle

should have pulled the trigger, nigger

Can I see your ass hole first.

thank you.

Was probably calling for his nigger-in-crime to come and rob your dumb fucking honkie ass. Lucked out

>what happened to your phone?
If he says uh
>you tell him no
The "uh" means he didn't properly think of an excuse so hes making one up in the spot so when your dumbass hands him the phone he will bolt.

I say "I don't have a phone"

>unsheathes katanna

TOPKEK
I don't have a reaction image on my tablet

My battery just died, sorry.

I let a nig use my phone once. I was nervous as fuck but he only called a cab and gave it back. wtf i love niggers now

I don't know, can you?

>not carrying a 2nd broken phone for these exact situations
Imagine the confused nigger look

Yeah bro I got a angel on my side bro top tier nigger defense bro

When they approach with something like "you got the time?" or "can I borrow your phone?" it's what biologists refer to as a shark-bump. Sharks usually 'test' their victim/food once to see if it attacks via bumping it. It's just a probe. If you act like you are unable to defend yourself or won't put up a fight, then they will then rob you.

Alternatively, if you pull out a phone and it's something they want, the game is to grab it, pretend to talk, then when you're distracted; sucker punch you and run.

Look them in the eye and stand your ground. As you can see from countless fight videos online, they will only sucker punch or attack while in groups. They will never win a 1 vs 1. Negros are cowardly.

Lmao

I left my cell phone at home. Sorry.

nigga i aint got no phone, ask whitey over there

>not carrying distraction chicken to throw for these exact situations

bullshit whitey I see that shit in yo pockit gibs me dat

Should've killed him, that nigger's probably out assaulting weaker targets right now. Never give niggers a second thought, 90% of the time they're human trash that deserve to die.

>Got off work late, driving home at 1 am
>Stop at 7-11 on the way home for a slurpie
>As I get into my car a black guy comes out of the store and to my car, knocking on the window
>"Yo man do you have a phone charge I can borrow for a minute? My phones dead and I just need to call someone"
>Didn't have a car charger, told him that
>"I just need it for a minute dog, I'll take it inside, make the call and bring it back"
>Tell him again, I don't have one on me, but that he might be able to go to a nearby store and buy one
>"Aight cool, thanks man I appreciate it. Hey let me give you my number, you're over 18 right?"
>Yeah, why?
>"Bro I'm a club promoter, I can get you in for free and we'll have a great time, here's my number, call me later dog"
And I never called him once.

...

>*taps your pockets*
>mollywhopps you for lying and steals your phone AND wallet

Game over. Would you like to try again?

>nigger-in-crime
Lel

>2am empty parking lot
Pop pop nigger dropped

Same thing happened to me at 2am in a shady apartment complex, except the nigger was trying to steal my bike.

>aye yo mang dat be a nice bike let me c Dat
Get away from me
>nigger rapidly aproaching in a dark parking lot I'm backed up against a fence
I draw my Beretta from my waistband holding it at the ground and yell loudly "get the fuck away from me"

Nigger disappeared before I was able to finish those words.

Sheeesh, just keep walking, don't answer, people are not entitled to a reply while talking to strangers on the street. The real world is not a movie scene.

Good move. He would have jumped you at the club where he would have had some backup.

After sucking you dry for expensive drinks/entry fee.

No one's thanking you for telling them to buy one at a store. Basically saying "fuck off"

...

You're waiting at a bus stop.

What do, now?

Walk away?

>club promoter
Ya I know exactly what kind of "club" that nigger runs

>webm related is the correct way to deal with noggers

>You Really Think Someone Would Do That? Just Go On the Internet and Tell Lies?

This is now a nigger hate thread

...

If course you can my big nignog

>"Can I get a dollar/cigarette/phonecall/etc
>"nah man"

Literally all it takes.

sure. fair warning: i run a 4.7 50yd dash senpai
do yo' ting
>hand degenerate my phone which can be bricked remotely

...

...

...

what a fucking nigger

...

I dont use phones i use telepathy my nigga.

this one always fucking gets me

...

...

Love it

...

most robberies happen in parking lots or drive ways.

I have to say this so much they know it's bullshit

Do anyone know he ded? the best part was the way his legs laid against the truck like he was getting fucked by the truck.

>I begin to screech loudly, letting other autist know i am in danger.
>My small pack of autists screech in unison at the mudslime to force it to retreat.

(checked)

kek justice