How the fuck do I convert to Judaism?

Can one of you Israelis or American Jews help me out? I have always been fascinated by Jewish culture and work ethic. I realize it's next to impossible to convert to Orthodox but maybe Reform Judaism is what I'm looking for. Also Judaism Conversion General

Slit your wrists

Are you leaving the fold of the Christ to accept a people who spurned our Lord?

Shame on you. Reply S to spit on this man.

you still not going to have the special powers.

Kill yourselves. I need some serious answers. Anyone?

it takes a lot of studying and hard work.

its not like the Christians and the Muslims that just decide one day "oh i guess im a christian now"

do more research on the internet, user

Oh god

Go down to your local Synagogue and ask them. You're not going to get a serious answer a nazi image board.

>asking Sup Forums
You're too stupid to be allowed in the gene pool. Please either sterilize yourself or kill yourself. The choice is yours.

You can't just very young kids and Jew born are Jews, you can became a special Goy, but only it.

Go talk to a rabbi.
It will take you years, dedication and no help from most of the community.
The best you can do to fasten things up is to date a jewish girl.

Why would you convert to a sect of a religion that doesn't hold any of what the religion says to be true. You aren't going to be a jew unless you do orthodox

S

FUCK OFF
&
HEIL HITLER

I don't think being the Papal court Jew is that hard.

Marry one of them

judaism is a force not to be wrecken with, it has paganistc rituals which is heresy

Well you can start at home with a few simple jew tricks and see how you get along.
1) get all your cash money converted into coin, sit down at night by candle light counting it into different piles and recounting it again and again. Then start crying and blaming the goy that there isnt enough and you should have more.
2) take your gf out to free places of public entertainment, on foot and offer her some free tap water as a treat.
3) go to the local shops and haggle the price down on every item, even penny sweats.
4) punch some innocent bystander in the face and then cry out in pain, writhe about on the floor in agony and then sue for hate crimes etc.
5) go down to your local jewish graveyard and kick all the headstones over and paint swastikas on them, when you have finished make an anonymous phone call to the local press and report that another holocaust is about to take place. Then get in touch with the local council and tell them that a anti nazi group should be formed with you as president with council to foot the bill. If they refuse call them deniers, nazis, etc until they change their minds.

Try these simple tricks at home first and if you like them then progress from there.

S

You can become a shabbos goy if you want jewish cock so much

Why not just work hard and enjoy the culture from afar?
It's not a bad thing to admire certain characteristics that commonly define other cultures/ethnicities, but why would you want to commit to a life of pretending?