Stanistan

What does Sup Forums think of this thought experiment.

Stanistan, every country with the name -stan at the end, joins into 1 country, how do you think it'd work out? who'd it be allied with? what would it do?

Other urls found in this thread:

theatlantic.com/international/archive/2014/02/kazakhstans-president-is-tired-of-his-countrys-name-ending-in-stan/283676/
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The primary problem would be their relationship to Russia. They would never settle on the issue.

>Stanistan
>Land of the lands
kek

It would fall into anarchy and would be a real life borat movie

i know that the pakis (190 million Population) have a boner for the US and China but not russia, idk why. and the kazakhs tajiks sympathise with the uyghurs in china.

perhaps it'd be a chinese ally?

You do realise that all of those "stand" are rightful Persian clay.
What's the point of uniting all the stans without Iran?

Kasachs are more like Russians, while Pakis are the muslim version of poo in loo.

Only a faggot would combine their countries.

>what would it do?

You mean other than implode?

Fucking plebs forgot about Azerbaijan

In all seriousness, there would be such a conflict that would put all the current conflicts to shame.
There would be absolute massacres and genocides. You'd have so many ethnic groups and tribes that it would lead to conflict. Turks and Pashtuns would massacre each other.

>implying Kazakhstan would ever want to join forces with those shitholes.

Yeah it has its own problems but the population is completely secular, and the country is basically peaceful. Also the theorcrats in Afghanistan would probably kill the Khazakstanis for looking east asian.

In Turkish even Hungary is a stan country.

because iran doesnt have -stan after its name, just go along with my thought experiment user.

actually, you're onto something, do you think theyd be like irans big brother ally? would they dominate the middle east?

it'd Balkanize because there are dozens upon dozens of tribes

>Also the theorcrats in Afghanistan would probably kill the Khazakstanis for looking east asian.
An important part of Afghans already look asian. They're called Hazaras.
Besides, it's a meme map.

Kazakhstan would much sooner join back with Russia. The other shitholes would be fine together, though.

did the turks give them all the stan name? is this your doing osmanolgu?

Kazakhs alone are split on the Russia issue. Some like having close ties, many do not care, the tribes in the south either do not care or really dislike Russia.
Afghanistani probably still recall the Afghan war.

Turkmen here.

That would work if you remove tajikistan and pakistan. They are not ethnic turkic people like the rest.

Also AMA.

This.

-Stan means "land of". The only reason these countires are separate is because those people are completely different and already chose not to be together.

They still wouldn't be white

you're giving up your nations secret plan abi

Nah Iran is rightful Turco-mongol clay.
>Ghaznavids.
>Safavids
>Khwarazmian
>Mongols

Interesting question OP. I traveled through Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan on my way to Xinjiang in China.

Reuniting at least Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan would alleviate a lot of the bullshit borders imposed upon them by Stalin. He purposely fucked up their borders so that ethnic groups would be divided and pitted against each other in a way that would make resistance against the Soviets difficult. Ferghana valley, which has historically been a single economic unit, is now split between three countries with such a clusterfuck of enclaves and exclaves at the border regions that Paradox Interactive would be proud.

In some ways, you're partially recreating the Timurid Empire, which many in the region legitimately feel was their golden age. It would likely be split in influence between China and Russia and to a lesser degree, Iran. Russian would likely be the most spoken language and many of those states are former Soviet states, but China has historical ties as well as many new trade ties as well as it's commitment to it's One Road policy. Iran has strong historical ties to the region as well and would invest heavily in influence, but if the Stans truly and sincerely united, then Iran may not have the power to actually exert meaningful control anyway.

>weakening your nation's superior potassium deposits
Jew detected

It would fail spectacularly. If they were forcibly united, there'd be war that would put the Yugoslav wars to shame.

^Also remove Afghanistan except northern parts

The lands we conquered have "-stan" in their names
Macaristan, Sırbistan, Yunanistan, Hırvatistan, Arabistan, Bulgaristan etc.
Not all countries have -stan in Turkish though.
Selamın Aleyküm Oğuz bey

thats true, looking it up i know the pakis and the US fought the soviets in an afghan war.
and funded the mujaheddin. so there would certainly be that issue, especially since it only happened a few years ago. (or im just getting old)

you fool! everything we and then the yanks did in the desert was to stop this happening!

the middle east uniting is NOT GOOD!!!!

delete this thread NOW!

...

True but they're Shiite and the rest of Afghanistan is Sunni so theyre not gonna last long either

Shia population is very high in Afghanistan.

Wrong side of the Caspian, champ

Pls absorb Turkmeniston and Özbekiston

They would have to build a new capital city and call Staningrad, and it should be a monarchy with the Stan dynasty, the currency is the Stan, and everyone names their sons Stan (like Muhammad)

It's like 70/30 split towards Sunni. Still a large population but definitely a minority by far.

I'd only unite Oghuz Turkic countries
Karluks and Kipchaks are not worthy enough to join our precious club.

>Karachi
>A city close to the border with India and far away from the geographical center of the country
>A city which would be hard to defend and hard to govern the rest of the country from due to these two factors
>Becomes capital anyway because popularion is somehow the most important in determining a capital
Population should have very little to do with determining what city the capital should be.

thats actually very insightful, thank you for your response, how do you think theyd be overall in foreign policy? would they be interventionist cause they'd have a bigger military than russia i think or isolationist? Pakistan, gives them access to the arabian gulf, would they exploit this? what would they do over the kashmir issue in india?

Also that literally looks like a second timurid empire
Capital should be Semerkand or Bukhara

ok ok, Astana the capital. pic related btw

>>Karachi
>>A city close to the border with India and far away from the geographical center of the country
>>A city which would be hard to defend and hard to govern the rest of the country from due to these two factors
>>Becomes capital anyway because popularion is somehow the most important in determining a capital


>Washington D.C.
>etc. etc.

>Implying Stanistan wouldn't immediately annex India before they become a superpower.

Özbeklar are bro-tier to us Turkmens.

Kazakhstan and kyrgyzstan look like asian/mongoloid ppl who speak russian.

Tajiks are like k*rds.

>Also that literally looks like a second timurid empire
Capital should be Semerkand or Bukhara
You gotta absorb Iran or at least part of it to be truly timurid tho

Now you have the problem of distance in the opposite effect: people from Pakistan and to some small extent Afghanistan are far away from the capital.

Would never happen because each one is ruled by a retard that thinks he's better than the other retard.

>implying Central Asian culture is compatible to with Pashtun and Pakistani culture

Fuck the Soviets for cucking Central Asia. Fucking Kazakhs hate being Turkic.

theatlantic.com/international/archive/2014/02/kazakhstans-president-is-tired-of-his-countrys-name-ending-in-stan/283676/

Are there any legit blonde hair blue eye people there

but the capital would just be the govt. capital, defacto industrial capital would be the largest cities, karachi is a port city too, Kazakhstan and the other stans are all land locked, wiht this access to the highly important and oil rich Arabian gulf, they'd probably grow even more powerful than just them uniting together.

they'd already have the second largest military, so india would be forced to hold a neutral stance, idk how the other super powers, like the US, china and russia would react.

I agree. Uzbeks are usually nice people, met with some of them.
Kazakhs and Kyrgyz are indeed Russians who happen to look 100% east asian
Other than that, i have never seen a Tajik
very well, Özbekistan should join our sikrit club too :D
-stan is a persian word. he's trying to change his country's name to Kazakeli afaik.

Xinjiang and Mongolia should be annexed too. China would be scared shitless.

That would be good in a lot of ways. They might be the only people who can tame those countries, and it gets them looking east instead of toward greek territory.

If I had been president in 2002 I'd have tried to lure the Iranians into Afghanistan after the initial win.

Yes but in the pure turkic regions outside the city that have not mixed that much. Also near the borders with Afghanistan.

There are also many Germans and Poles who were deported during ww2 by stalin to the central asian countries.

>forgetting about historical importance
>Washington, D.C. has been the traditional U.S. capital for years, while Karachi has no historical reason for being a capital,
>as well as the outstanding features that set it apart from any other city other than its population
>implying I have any form of control over the where the U.S. capital is anyway

>Let's mix people up
No

I think Pakistan is the odd one out there.

Central asia is the most irrelevant area in the world

I don't think I would notice if they united

It would also be incredibly shit

kazakh would not mingle with pakistani shithole
north central asia is decently developed and would be ruined

They would likely be focused on maintaining internal stability given that you're uniting some pretty diverse ethnic groups. Pakistan has little in common with Turkmenistan or Kazakhstan and if any one region came to dominate politics for the whole country it would likely breed a lot of resentment.

The one unifying factor would be Islam. As soon as they became independent from the Soviets, mosques exploded in number in the Central Asian republics, showing that Islam was very much alive. However, because the new mosques were largely funded by Wahhabi Saudis and Deobandist Pakistanis, a more literal strain of Islam has infiltrated the region. Central Asian dictators largely responded by suppressing Islamic political movements, but the net result has been that the region continues to produce terrorists. I would not be surprised if a united Stanistan became an Islamic theocracy as that might be the solution to domestic stability.

I don't think they would be interventionalist in foreign policy because they would still be surrounded by more powerful neighbors. Though Stanistan would be a populous country with nuclear weapons, China, Russia, and India all have greater nuclear capabilities and Iran is no pushover. Access to the ocean would be a huge boon for the landlocked countries, and if they could maintain internal stability, then Stanistan would be able to complete the pipelines necessary to transport Turkmen natural gas to the ocean.

Kashmir would remain a significant source of tension but it's not clear if domestic politics would strengthen or dilute Pakistan's claim. Most of Stanistan probably wouldn't care and would rather not risk nuclear war with India and the political disunity might weaken Pakistan's claim, or perhaps they would rally behind Pakistan's claims. It would likely depend on the quality and motivations of Stanistan's political leadership.

>he thinks capital placements make sense

they're usually just the origin of whatever tribe ended up conquering the land

geopolitically, the exact opposite of what you said is true
>flag
nvm

Culturally, yes, as they are closer to Indians. Pakistan's inclusion within Stanistan would allow for ports, though.

>mixing up a bunch of cultures, ideologies and races
WHAT COULD GO WRONG

a united central asia would be a trading powerhouse though, silk road 2.0

Just to weigh in on the capital debate. I don't think the capital would be Karachi, even if it's the most populous. I think for historical reasons, the capital would most likely be Samarkand, but realistically, it would have more to do with whoever it was that took the initiative to create Stanistan.

Where does Kekistan fit into all this?

that's very interesting indeed. i never thought they'd become an islamic theocracy, but reading what you put, it does actually make sense as to why and how they would do it.
this + terrorists, could only spell disaster but even then, maybe a strong leader could limit the terror.

you're right on the kashmir issue i think, they'd likely keep azad kashmir and baltistan as thats occupied by pakistan, but the rest which is already indian, they'd revoke their claims on.

i personally think they'd surprisingly become a US aligned country, now hear me out.

The US would have major interests in the region, and it could act as a very powerful ally to deter either china or russia.

china because of the south china sea conflicts, stanistan would pressure them from the west, by raising tensions in xinjiang province. and russia would find defending the siberian/Ural territories difficult in terms of conflict so would keep a neutral stance.

the region has historical ties to ancient persia, so Iran could be a friendly nation towards it, india would be a trading partner.


why not m8, its just a thought experiment.
well it does have -stan at the end.
im pretty sure russia china india and the US would notice.
probably
also probably right.

What do you mean?

Yugoslavia was a utopia. It was perfect if it wasn't for those pesky Americans meddling in everything.

we could rename it kekistan desu, what would you do if you were its president?

you have
>Nukes
>2nd largest army
>Fuck tons of oil
>Decent intelligence agency (combined of all countries)
>access to the arabian gulf

all at your disposal

It's possible. America certainly has plenty of military bases in the region since the War on Afghanistan. That said, despite America's attempts to exert influence on the region, they haven't been particularly successful. Pakistan is more closely aligned with China, Afghanistan is not exactly a fan of America, and the other states have relied more on Russian patronage and joined the CIS, and more recently, the promise of economic growth has had them seeking closer ties with China. Chinese influence was highly visible in the countries I visited, and it seemed that most of the products and vehicles and whatnot came from China.

As well, I think that because Stanistan would be so concerned with maintaining internal stability, they would likely resort to methods that America finds unsavory and difficult to support. If Stanistan became an Islamic republic or an Islamic theocracy and was being criticized by America for human rights violations, I think that would put a huge strain on potential US Stanistan relations.

>what would you do if you were its president?
Conquer China.

Maybe ferment instability in Iran and the rest of the neighboring middle east enough that we could eventually annex it, direct the internal racial and ethnic strife outwards towards Iran for the sake of unification (the country needs a boogeyman they can all rally against.)

I'm not sure though, maybe i'd pull an israel and just slowly destabilize everyone around me after getting the internal matters in order so we could just move in on their territory.

Either way though solving the internal shit so it doesn't balkanize would have to be number one.

If I were President, I'd be afraid that ethnic rivalries would cause the whole nation to implode and that I'd be violently deposed as a result. I would focus on demonstrating the economic benefits of such a political union to give legitimacy to the idea, so I'd push hard for pipeline infrastructure and roads connecting the regions to the Indian Ocean as well as Iran and China.

I wouldn't start shit with my neighbors because I know they would be able to leverage ethnic rivalries to foment unrest if they thought I was a significant threat. I'd declare an official no first use policy on nuclear weapons, and I would seek strong relations with my neighbors, particularly China. To that end, I might try to help them come up with a political solution to the Uyghur question. I would probably be forced to use repressive tactics on political dissidents and I don't know if it would be possible to institute Western style democracy without breeding resentment among competing factions. I'd likely have to lead an authoritarian regime legitimized by supportive Muslim clerics and I would probably have to appease different groups by providing high level cabinet positions based as much on ethnicity as on capability.

Why is Bongistan not pictured?

They'd be blowing each other up constantly just like in every other Muslim shithole

could probably do it desu, but what about nukes.
interesting, so you'd take a much more interventionist stance, but that could lead to problems with the military industrial complex leveraging you to keep on invading and conquering, leading to world war pretty quickly.

again quite interesting, so a more isolationist approach, with a leaning towards china. this seems like a very likely scenario.

this thought experiment spurred on so many different types of views, each one forming a radically different nation of stanistan. its quite fascinating

Why do bongs use shit as an adjective?

everyone uses shit as an adjective.

Ignoring the plethora of ethnic and religious divides in the region, if its government could centralize enough to fully exploit its massive amounts of oil and natural resources it could be a major world power, all though none of this will ever happen.

In reality, eventually sometime in the future (after the US rapes Iran into submission) the US will invade the region for its resources, probably sparking a war with russia and china if these three countries havent already nuked each other yet

Central Eurasia is (((their))) long-term end game, as their operations in europe, asia and the middle east will all meet in the region one day if (((they))) get their way. The name of the game is US hegemonic global control, and this is the plan if the establishment stays in power

In america we say shitty.

1) That's a shitty opinion.
2) Your opinion is shit.

1) is an adjective. 2) is a predicate nominative, aka a noun.

as an anglo, we invented ingerlish and we'll say wahtever we want m80.

but seriosuly, we say shitty too somtimes, but shit can also be used in its place, like oh your car looks like shit, we shorten it to, your car is shit, or your car looks shit.

the meaning is still there.

India's real name is Hindustan.
And what about Kurdistan?

thats true, india is called hindustan, but kurdistan isn't independent. if it included india and iran, itd be way too powerful as a nation.

thus less fun in the thought experiment

TLDR: Khorasan, The Thread

On the bright side, if this ever happened, Pakis will get to marry qt3.14 Kazakh and Uzbek girls. Their offspring will finally get to claim WE WUZ MUGHALS AN SHIET.