Welcome home Sir, Now please turn on your laptop and smartphone and log in, you have been selected for a random check

>Welcome home Sir, Now please turn on your laptop and smartphone and log in, you have been selected for a random check.

What do?

Other urls found in this thread:

wiki.archlinux.org/index.php/Securely_wipe_disk
kali.org/tutorials/emergency-self-destruction-luks-kali/
youtube.com/watch?v=lbWulfd8wzY
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

In CIA lemon party gestapo you always do as you told otherwise the basket gets hosed with lotion. You have to understand that all laws are designed as dual use technology. So if you don't know how to interpret the order and follow such orders like some drooling retard from special olympics you're just pokemon who is marking himself to be hunted down in the evolutionary hunger games where only strong rainbows supposed to survive the killing fields.

you should backup your devices and wipe them before these sorts of trips

>type in killword
>blame the xray machine for why my shit goes to bluescreen
>restore later

> *boots decoy OS*
> implying TSAniggers are even remotely competent

>Drop on floor
>Oh no, it broke.

"No"

Yo, can you direct me to a place where I can learn about how to implement some shit like that?

Cheers nigguh

>US. Customs and Immigration
>TSA

I can see you've never been to the land of the free.

Trust you fucking Kiwis to be here shitposting...

> all modern laptops cone with an SSD
> *pulls out USB>SATA adapter*

what are you even talking about? this doesn't happen faggot

I have never taken a phone or laptop with me to the airport so yeah nah

>Linux
>Sup Forums

I unironically don't own a smartphone or laptop

checkmate ZOG

Never taken a phone with you?

wiki.archlinux.org/index.php/Securely_wipe_disk

>sure thi-
>Ughhh
>why you shoot me?
>die

show him my 8gbs of regular hentai and hitomi tanaka porn

Stop resisting!!

Lithuanians never disappoint.

Thanks friendo. Any handy links you can think of, like explanations or tutorials or some shit?

It doesn't change the fact that border control isn't staffed with Sup Forumsentoomen.
kali.org/tutorials/emergency-self-destruction-luks-kali/
Can be re-implemented with some fuckery almost on every linux distro.

It doesn't work overseas m8 unless I pay.

Look up TAILs if you want to go full encrypted paranoid

>dont own a laptop
>not retarded enough to have anything incriminating on smartphone, not even regular porn
Why would I need to store porn on mobiles when I spend the rest of the day at home, in front of my desktop?

At worst, the officer is gonna give me a strange look for having backstreet boys and anime music on it

I actually do american work into my american bank account but remotely from SE asia. I will be returning for the first time in 9 months.

There will be questions I am sure. What do I do to avoid this? Besides smash laptop.

>I unironically don't own a smartphone or laptop

Same. I have everything memorized. Every number, every username, all in my head right. If I called you in the 1980s, I have your number.

To the younger generation we are wizards. Our cursive writing is indecipherable to them.

ARE YOU DETAINING ME!!!

people can't read cursive now?

honestly this user already posted a pretty good quick option
>kali.org/tutorials/emergency-self-destruction-luks-kali/

I'd start here

Good luck.

nigga these kids have trouble reading non-digital clocks. you think I'm joking... wait until one of them asks you what that thing on your wrist is for.

Fly back. I'm not sharing my Pepe collection with these fuckers.

t-that's unconstitutional

>log in to guest account on computer
the home directory of my ordinary account is encrypted so it wouldn't do them any good, assuming Shaquisha could even work out how to use Linux. I'm pretty sure you can also set up Android so different lock patterns / passwords log into different user accounts

>he doesn't keep his pepes in a encrypted flash drive around his neck at all times

wew lad

>what is wifi

kids nowadays don't have to learn it

>I'm pretty sure you can also set up Android so different lock patterns / passwords log into different user accounts

Some can, yeah. Mine logs into different accounts depending on which finger I plant on the scanner.

Fair point. I always fly in the EU so I don't have that problem. I even have my flight ticket on my phone most of the time.

Couldn't imagine anyone traveling without a smart phone in 2017.

I blame everyone that voted for Lord Emperor Trump

I basically hate smart phones tbqh. I only have one because a friend gave it to me.

>work at a retail electronics store
>12-13 yearold girl comes up
>"where do you guys sell those... uh... mobile phones but like for the house?"
>confused as fuck
>"you know the phones that are just for the house"
>finally realize she means a house phone
>>point her in the right direction while contemplating suicide

>he's not a sovereign citizen

Generation Z here. I recently found out i've been spelling my my own signature wrong in cursive and the girls I text with reduce entire words to 3 or fewer letters.
>im srs af rn

Can confirm we are retarded and that humanity is doomed.

>>>point her in the right direction while contemplating suicide

you did good, lad.

I may be the last person in my office with the knowledge of how to use a fax machine.

The libtards were right. Trump's police state is fucking scary.

>and the girls I text with reduce entire words to 3 or fewer letters.
HKN KRZ

the dumbest of your generation communicates in heiroglyphics known as emojis

c-can I delet some folders beforehand?
i-it's just work that I don't want to show you guys, promise

>type in killword
>brick phone
>blame xray machine and demand the airline refund me for destroying my phone
>buy new phone

It doesn't really matter m8. I was just surprised, they don't teach it. If they don't teach it can't really blame em.

The generation [blah] arguments is for faggots, don't get sucked in. Ancient greeks thought the younger generation were wankers. It's just getting older.

>tfw I type like that ironically

My goal is reduce my typed speech to an indecipherable mishmash of abbreviated words, references, memes etc. sprinkle some emojis and shit in there along with randomly linking 0 context webms and images

I pity the govt goon that has to read my chatlogs, they're visual cancer

You can't get asked to boot your PC and mobile, surely? I've never seen that irl

>The generation [blah] arguments is for faggots, don't get sucked in.

Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. Maybe the young generation in Aristotle's time really was worse. Having said that the whole text speak thing that was popular with millenials when we had to use phones with number pads was probably worse than what the kids are doing these days.

already had this discussion last month in las vegas

they wanted my social media accounts and passwords for whatever reason. i said no and then got put aside for further questioning. they asked what i wanted to and i pretty much told him to their face "gamble, drink and fuck hookers. is that enough information for you?"

they wanted to deport me but then some old guy who was with them lost it in the backroom and told them to let me go

This will never happen to me, my phone that I travel with is clean as a whistle and I keep my OS on USB that I wrap in a condom and swallow 12 hours before my flight. I shit it out on the plane, do my dirt, then swallow it again before I disembark.

>It's just getting older.

There are studies that indicate they youth are spending time in a vrtual world and it is negatively affecting them. It a new technology that we couldn't even imagine. There has never before been anything like it. This is not on par with ancent greeks bitching about the youth of athens. It is a situation incomparable to any other since the discovery of fire and language.

AM I BEING DETAINED?

I've been on multiple flights but they've never once wanted to check my phone. Is this something that actually happens?
Not that I have anything on my phone besides some old nudes from exes

underrated

exactly how i wouldve reacted. Aint nobody getting the passwords for my surface

All you have to do is turn it on to prove it's a functioning device, they don't get to read your internet history.

>they wanted my social media accounts and passwords for whatever reason.

I wonder if telling them "I don't have any" is considered suspicious behaviour, because seriously fuck that.

...

Zozzle

call a lawyer

Well literacy of the peasants probably caused some ruffled feathers back in the day.

The same argument could be made of all the modern medicine preserving the weak, who in turn pass on their weakness.

I agree the dopamine stream that is the internet could be a problem, but fuck it.

>microsoft product

They already have them.

Drop my trousers and rip my dick off with my bare hands. If I'm gonna go Im gonna go big time!

You aren't lying man. Went home with a chick from the bar over the weekend, she couldn't read my non digital watch.

What are they looking for?

i dont get why they are such cunts as a foreigner you already have to write half your life story on the ESTA shit and pay 13 bucks for it to even be able to travel to the USA

they saw my return ticket/hotel reservation what the fuck is up with even wanting more? the only social media account i have is my google one for the android app store and i dont even know the password for it anymore

This triggers an NSA response, have fun with extra spying.

why are you attempting to minimize my points?

Careful Hans, you don't want Mama Merkel to send you to jail

It's supposed to be just to check if your device is a bomb. They're not supposed to log in and look through your computer, if they're doing that then they're overstepping what they're allowed to do.

they do sporadic interrogations. never experienced it myself, but I do have one friend who gets called in for it almost every time.

he looks like Tweek from South Park though so I would expect him to be up to some shit, too.

yeah I don't bother with that shit. Just read about it.

what's the big deal again?

Oh, they're going to see that I browse Sup Forums? And occasionally browse efukt and pornhub? big fucking deal.

Soviet bloc deserves (you)

If you are a third worlder like me you get ordered to take x-rays and spread your arse cheeks and then get finger raped. So asking you to boot up your PC is nothing!

>he looks like Tweek from South Park

blond, blue eyedz are statistically less likely to commit crime than anyone he might be around, including the cop interrogating him.

Hardcore militia libertarian and sovereign citizen types get bent out of shape over being pulled over in their car, imagine how much they're going to go apeshit the first time something like this happens to them

for foreigners you can just stop speaking english, they'll have by law to get a translator and then it becomes way easier to get out of the situation

i'm running a surface pro 3, BUT dual-booting it into ubuntu touch... windows install is only used for automotive diagnostic software that doesn't have linux equivalent

I would do as instructed as I am a good clean decent person who DOESN'T COLLECT CP!!!!!!


fucking pedos

I should have tried that in Germany! :(

Implying I have that crap.

Well, maybe audit you for hate speech, because you pissed them off. Pretty sure canadian free speech is being eroded right now. The Govt has enough fucking power.

implying those nutjobs travel outside their state or even outside their farm/ranch

That's enough to be put on a list btw

...

Didn't these kids ever sit in class watching the clock on the wall and wishing the day was over? Even if you've never had a watch how the fuck do you reach adulthood without being able to?

youtube.com/watch?v=lbWulfd8wzY

Scream "ALLAH AKBAR" and frantically press buttons on your devices.

Hand him the laptop, I've already nuked it and backed up the important data on my VPS.

Outstanding advanced memetics.

HEBEPHILIA IS NOT PEDOPHILIA!

yeah and, if you're afraid a list you shouldn't be on pol. If a big boy nation state hates you your life is over anyways.