BIDET IN THE USA

>2017
>still not washing your ass after taking a shit
Why are you all so degenerate?

foxnews.com/lifestyle/2017/04/17/bidet-use-on-rise-in-us-do-need-one.html

bidets seem gay
why would i want to shoot water up my ass id much rather just wrap my finger in toilet paper and dig in my asshole

>not taking a shower after you shit

>not shitting in the shower

I discovered the best way to clean your anus is to fold up some toilet paper into a square, place it over you're butthole with one hand, then shive the index finger of your other hand through the paper up your ass, then pull it back out.

Clean as shit.

I do this occasionally, it's pretty nice.

what if i use toilet paper for bulk and baby wipes for detail?

>Not sharting in mart

>not shitting in your yard and having someone power wash your anus

This

Just don't flush the baby wipes if your plumbing is bad. They don't break down in the sewer line quick enough so they will back it up eventually.

Why paper when you can use your aids ridden boyfriends tongue?

wipes are bad for your plumbing and septic system

>shitting in the shower

didn't know they are that bad for plumbing

the more you know

Born down in a fart man's town
The first shart I took was when I hit the ground
End up like a turd that's been pushed too much
Till you spend half your life just wiping up

Bidet in the U.S.A., I need a bidet in the U.S.A.
I wish for bidets in the U.S.A., bidet in the U.S.A.

Got in a little backdoor jam
So they put a roll in my hand
Sent me off to a foreign land
Saw the bidet and my new life began

Bidet in the U.S.A., I need a bidet in the U.S.A.
I wish for bidets in the U.S.A., bidet in the U.S.A.

They make "Adult Wipes" that are safe/r for the plumbing and septic systems because they break down similar to toilet paper.

Baby wipes are meant to be thrown out with the diaper.

All the toilets in my house are fitted with bidets. Literally one of the greatest inventions ever.

i love you

i buy whats soft. never bothered looking for adult wipes

So what's this then?

Don't do this. The pipes in your shower aren't made for poo and pee.

what the fuck is the point of a bidet just open up those cheeks and wash your ass in the shower.

How do you use a bidet? Just sort of hover while you're messing around with your ass?

Kike confirmed

i want one of those badass japanese toilets with the robot bidet built in that has military IR and motion sensors and shit to aim perfectly for your butthole

I spread my ass open wipe a few times with wet wipes and then I use regular toilet paper. Unless of course I don't really care about my wet ass I'll just pull my pants up and leave. Also I've got an internal hemroid that if I wipe to much will start to bleed. One day I guess I wiped to hard and I pretty much bleed all over the place.

Yeah, then you have to take a full shower because all the caca-water and diarrhea is all flowing down your legs, and the caca is also all spraying all over your back and hair and shit. All this corn and beans and diarrhea all over the shower walls and crap.

No, don't do it in the shower.

Buy the cheap Walmart brand never had those plumbing problems

How dirty is your ass after shitting?

burger here

not lying, had a standalone bidet put in when I built my house two years ago.

no regrets.

I've seen this headline at least 4 times today and every time without fail I read it as Biden

Do you use the bidet before or after you wipe your ass?
I can't imagine a bidet would be strong enough to blast off a dingleberry.

jesus man don't you wipe after you shit?

Bidet countries have bidets because their sewer systems cannot handle paper. This is, apparently, something to be proud.

Get poop water all over me?

No thanks. I throw kitty litter dust on my bum and wait for it to dry everything then use a duster/hand broom to collect it and bin it.

> water breeds bacteria, water breeds gross pookie-pookie stuff

Bet it feels tingly and good on the hole desu

I don't have a dedicated bum washer tool.
>use sink

When will marts where we shart have bidets?

I have a bidet.

I would honestly like one. Mostly because I love my boipucci getting pounded.

lol fart man's town

>he wipes with half a turn hanging out

That is what you've just admitted.

>wet toilet paper
>lightly dab butthole

why do i need a dedicated butt squirter

i wish i had one.

i use babby wipes and always got some in my gym bag too in case i ate some spicy spic food that day and i need to take a shit mid-squat

Payphone

We can actually flush our paper here, Paco

It's redpilled as fuck

for the 1% here, hand showers beside the toilet are the norm

for the 99% filthy degenerates it's pretty much designated shitting streets

Animals

>getting sodomized by a water spout every day

No thanks faggot

You can wash your ass right in the bathtub, you know.

99% of the time if I'm home I don't even bother with toilet paper. I squat in the shower and give my ass a good thorough blast with the shower head.

Been pissing in showers more than 20 years. I'll need some compelling evidence that this makes any difference at all. Is your concern about acidity in urine or something?

>make a hole in the paper
>set the pice aside we will need it later
>stick your finger through the new hole
>stick your finger into your ass and scrap it out
>pull out and wipe your finger with the paper
>now take the pice you riped out and clean out the shit under your fingernail

It's much easier

Or you can tie a string around the balloon and pull it manually.

Because you aren't flexing your donut muscle you won't get a lot of poop on it.

>mfw when only india's 1% have sinks and they're called "hand showers"

Tyvm senpai

An old mentor of mine loved that joke.
RIPIP

You people are so disgusting. Just wipe your ass dry and shower before bed.