Be me

>be me
>have 2 upcoming weddings, 1 for close family friend and 1 for personal friend
>$500 airfare
>$200 hotel
>$200 gifts
>$150 tux rental

>$1000 dollaroos so i can sit at a table and watch normies celebrate their beautiful lives

What do

tell them you dont have the money. My lesbian cousin messaged me on facebook for their wedding (to a nigger with a son no less) and to tell my parents. i never replied lol

what the fuck kind of family/friends make you sleep at a hotel?

Don't go because if they really wanted you there then they would pay for you, esp. since you claim to be a member of one's family friend and two's friend.

Yeah, let's all pile in to the bride or groom's itty bitty apartment.

M8 that is a strawman and you know it

Fuck at those prices you should get to fuck the bride

What's the other option here? Where else are you staying if you're going to another city for a wedding?

If the wedding is outside driving distance and you don't have the cash, don't go.

>holding a wedding far away from your family
>holding a wedding in a shithole city

Usually the bride/groom pay for rooming unless its a poor couple, then they shouldnt be getting married. My cousin is pulling that shit & is even asking for straight up cash instead of gifts cause "we cant afford a honeymoon"

Don't weeding in the USA happen at the Groom's family home? Because that's where all the weddings in my family have happened (except for the wedding for my wife's side of our friends and family, but that was mostly due to possible communications and cultural issues rather that I not wanting them there, her parents did come).

Go get laid you absolute fucking faggot.

stay with someone in their hotel room and split the costs
stay at a friends or family member's house if you can
buy a used tux on ebay for 80-100, maybe a shitty one at goodwill for like 20
why spend so much on gifts?

don't go

I wish I hadn't gone to my sister's funeral

My sister is getting married in a couple of months. She and her fiancee live in Chicago. They have friends coming in from all over the country. Their options are
a) Have the wedding in Chicago where everyone can easily find a flight and a place to stay or
b) Have the wedding at my family home in Iowa which will be harder to get to, and harder for the large number of guests to stay at

Seems pretty obvious

As in, home town, I mean.

Like the diamond ring, honeymoons are consumerist bullshit with no actual requirement for a wedding to occur. You have a honeymoon if you can afford it, you don't ask people to chip in to pay for it. What's wrong with your cousin?

It varies massively depending on the individual, but in my experience they most often happen wherever the bride and groom are living at the time they decide to marry. It's not like anyone has to show up, if it's really that inconvenient just don't RSVP

>It's not like anyone has to show up, if it's really that inconvenient just don't RSVP
I don't think americans have a good understanding of what a marriage ceremony is suppose to be, or why you invite certain people into it.

Why are you wearing a tux as a guest at a wedding? Unless you're in the bridal party, you shouldn't be wearing a tux.

Furthermore, if you can't afford it, tell them. They'll either spot you or replace you. If you don't want to be replaced, stop bitching.

My cousin is getting married this weekend and I'm the best man. It's a four hour drive, $200 for suit rental, then there's the gift, the accommodations, gas, time off work, etc. I would guess this event will set me back about $1000 all-in. But I'm the best man so I'll do it gladly.

spend $100 on a skateboard and just go ham trying every trick hoping you break something so you don't have to go.

Again it depends on the individual. In this case, it's a very large wedding, with a core of people who are close to the couple and expected to show up, and a large periphery of people who may or may not depending on their schedule. It's just a big celebration, there's no 100% need for anyone but immediate family to be there, really.

Don't buy a gift.
Don't buy/rent a suit. Just wear your normal clothes.
Don't stay at a hotel. Just get another plane back.

Or just say that you need some money.

go to jcpenney and buy a tux for 150.

#iworkatjcp #fucktheircreditcarditsascam

>two friends since high school are getting married
>see them on a semi-regular basis
>DREAD the thought of being bestman
>DREAD the thought that they might ask me to make a fucking speech at the reception because i'm 'the funny one who can write'

what the FUCK do i do bros

Die. It's the only way to be sure.

Lol
>not owning at least one suit
>not banging all the horny singles
>not drinking all the free liquor and top notch food
>not wanting to share the most important day of your close friends life

What are you some kinda fag

See if you can find a cheap tux at goodwill or craigslist or something.
And find a dirt cheap motel to sleep in, or bunk with a friend.

Based