Brit/pol/ - Papers edition

MAY: SNAP ELECTION IS THE ONLY WAY TO GUARANTEE SECURITY FOR THE YEARS AHEAD
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-39629603
archive.is/82iz0
>She accused Britain's other political parties of "game playing"

CURRENT PARTY BREAKDOWN
parliament.uk/mps-lords-and-offices/mps/current-state-of-the-parties/

GEORGE OSBORNE QUITS PARLIAMENT
bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-39643347
archive.is/wksxL
>he would be using the [new editorial] role to provide "straight facts and informed opinion"

MAY AVOIDS TV DEBATES
thesun.co.uk/news/3357498/theresa-may-set-to-avoid-tv-election-debates-despite-goading-from-jeremy-corbyn-and-calls-by-tim-farron-for-bbc-to-empty-chair-her/
archive.is/PMsCl
>CORBYN: "she should not be dodging head-to-head TV debates

Rolling news tank:::
breitbart.com/london/2017/04/18/britains-general-election-a-ploy-to-stop-hard-brexit/ [archive.is/BmayT]
Election during Ramadan - twitter.com/i/moments/854295260327006208
indyref2.scot/we-need-to-make-this-snap-election-about-independence [archive.is/0GLTT]
Owen Jones - [YouTube] You can't trust Theresa May in the general election | Owen Jones talks... (embed)
mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/conservatives-right-wing-win-election-5532843 [archive.is/5iCOE]
UK Column - [YouTube] UK Column News - 18th April 2017: A Very British Dictatorship
List of Tory MPs being investigated - twitter.com/thefoodumbrella/status/854741196375248896/photo/1
Yvette Cooper Slams May - twitter.com/YvetteCooperMP/status/854676713648902144
theguardian.com/politics/2017/apr/19/lives-at-risk-if-tories-choose-to-cut-uk-foreign-aid-target-says-bill-gates

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=k_lyhgTmZN4
timfarron.co.uk/en/
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

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Obligatory Karen

>Ecuador win
>go on twitter and they are all calling him illegitimate and that he cheated

kek

>SNP MPs abstain

PATHETIC!

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Vote Corbyn. For peace and socialism.

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Nice their making progress on dementia. Horrible illness that.

Brown surge when?

That headline with May's face under it made me laugh.

Looking forward to QT being rammed with these types running up to the election

Reminder that Tory voters are huge cucks and that Paul "The nutter" Nuttall is the only choice for somebody who doesn't enjoy their wife/gf penetrated by niggers

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phwoar

Wait, you mean this wasn't a Peter Kay sketch?

Ayo knit/pol/, haven't been here since Brexit kek

Anything exciting happening for the election? Will comrade corbatchev seize the means of production?

The only brown surge that's gonna happen is in a clogged toilet

>headturner

they call it that because you turn your head 360 degrees and break your neck because you can't stand what your country has become

That's just lies the Scots will get their damn vote once brexit is sorted. It'll be another no and the SNP will die. Can't wait tbhfams.

Kek

Can confirm, it is not Geraldine

Why is QT such a freak show now?

>start to get ads again when looking at youtube videos on my playstation
>it's for a gay dating app or a youtuber shilling themselves

dead platform

>clogged toilet

Bit of a wet dream for you, eh, Hans?

It's going to be a tory landslide

Diversity targets mean they get freaks of all sorts on.

Beasts all over the shop... it's enough to make a man sick.

We're gunna destroy you shitty Lions

Tories will win just a question of by how much. Means of production remain out of reach for commisar Corbyn and he will fade to memeory.

I got that as well, think it was "romeo world" or something

Put me right off me sausage roll

Another one

GIMMIE MILK

M8 we only care if we win. Otherwise not a single fuck is given.

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Should we meme Tim 'hate the gays' Farron, into a nazi symbol?

To this day I am not totally convinced that he wasn't someone playing a character, possibly even one of us.

Someone needs to make some copypasta about his hatred of the sinful act of sodomy.

So long as it doesn't make retards vote Libdem

Another one

The great masses could be saved, if only with the gravest sacrifice in time and patience.

But a Tory could never be parted from his opinions.

At that time I was still childish enough to try to make the madness of their doctrine clear to them; in my little circle I talked my tongue sore and my throat hoarse, thinking I would inevitably succeed in convincing them how ruinous their Blairite madness was; but what I accomplished was often the opposite. It seemed as though their increased understanding of the destructive effects of Blairite theories and their results only reinforced their determination.

The more I argued with them, the better I came to know their dialectic. First they counted on the stupidity of their adversary, and then, when there was no other way out, they themselves simply played stupid. If all this didn't help, they pretended not to understand, or, if challenged, they changed the subject in a hurry, quoted platitudes which, if you accepted them, they immediately related to entirely different matters, and then, if again attacked, gave ground and pretended not to know exactly what you were talking about. Whenever you tried to attack one of these apostles, your hand closed on a jelly-like slime which divided up and poured through your fingers, but in the next moment collected again. But if you really struck one of these fellows so telling a blow that, observed by the audience, he couldn't help but agree, and if you believed that this had taken you at least one step forward, your amazement was great the next day. The Tory had not the slightest recollection of the day before, he rattled off his same old nonsense as though nothing at all had happened, and, if indignantly challenged, affected amazement; he couldn't remember a thing, except that he had proved the correctness of his assertions the previous day.

Sometimes I stood there thunderstruck.

I didn't know what to be more amazed at: the agility of their tongues or their virtuosity at lying.

A MAN TRYING TO TELL ME TO VOTE TORY? NAH BLAD, THIS IS BULLSHIT ROBBIE F.AM, I'M TELLING YOU BLAD, THIS IS SOME KEKSERVATIVE SHIT YOU GET ME? JEREMY CORBYN I'D RATHER VOTE FOR JEREMY KYLE, FUCK THIS COMMIE HAMROLL BLAD, I'M VOTING UKIP, YOU GET ME? A MAN GONNA DEPORT THE IMMIGRANTS F.AM, I'M TELLING YOU NOW BLAD, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT F.AM. GET MAY OUT, GET JOHNSON OUT, GIVE MY MAN NIGEL HIS SEAT BLAD.

pretty degenerate to show half naked men prancing around a park and touching each other before the watershed. I just want to watch my chinese dramas without them

To the uninitiated, can you spoonfeed me?

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The squad selection is absolutely awful. We are fucked.

>progressiev politicians want NHS to start treating mental health
>there are probably as many people suffering from mental health issues as normal medical issues in the UK
>this move would ~double the workload of the NHS which is already apparently underfunded


realistically, mental heath cannot be shifted onto the NHS, can it? Not enough moolah.

youtube.com/watch?v=k_lyhgTmZN4

>hello i have the mental healths, money pls
>we're gonna need more prove than th-
>*shits on the floor*
>alright fine, you're mental, have some money

Getting so fat the back of your heat has flaps is right fucking disgusting. Like another pair of big jigaboo lips on the back of his head.

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*head

timfarron.co.uk/en/

And so it's come full circle.

Poe's fucking law.
Gas it
Burn it
Bury it

And then there's that problem.
The quest for autismbucks

It already is dealt with by the NHS, what are you on about? As with most issues to do with public services one of the biggest issues is workload, which could be helped by reducing migration.

I hate this recent mental health meme. There are people with legitimate conditions, especially manic depression and schizophrenia etc in this country but you just know the recent awareness push will mean more middle class white girls claiming to have anxiety conditions and other bullshit they don't.

Haven't watched that in a while, are the Chasers still the same three people or are there new Chasers?

Even though they're in Birmingham they look American

there's a lesser fat bird that's younger.

You have no idea. It is incredibly difficult to even get an appointment to see a GP, it is ridiculously, massively difficult to get an appointment with a psychiatrist/psychologist, and believe it or not they can tell most of the time, just like GPs if you are faking being sick or not.

WHAT CAN I SAY ROBBIE? 8 FACKIN YEARS OF THIS SHIT, I'M SICK OF IT, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, IT'S TIME TO GO MRS MAY, SHE SHOULD RESIGN TONIGHT IF SHE HAS ANY DIGNITY LEFT. UKIP IS THE ONLY SOLUTION TO THIS COUNTRYS PROBLEMS

There's five now, new ones are a funny gay Indian Dr and a tumblr fat pig that they call "the vixen".

Good reason for that. They looked like us.

>ywn drink this in a Lincolnshire field trying to pull slags from your school again

Why live?

Im sure I've heard the Libdems say it isnt.

I wish I wasn't a spastic so I could feasibly get a proper job and have a normal life.

I hate this self diagnosis culture desu lads

Yes they are very American-looking figures. Dont know who they are

no-one can tell the difference between """depression""" and """depression""" because it's a meme name for being a bit sad and I bet they'll be dishing out the bennies hand over fist for it

>implying you need to shit on the floor

Not wanting to goto work in the morning is now enough to be classed as disabled.

Sinnah mans shit compared to the rest id pray I was up against him to have a chance.

Just slowly poison yourself with alcohol and fags and wank your life away

My vote has to go to the Tory's this time, usually vote UKIP but don't want to let the Lib Dems in. I'm sure the Tories will keep the South West but need to make sure

Fat nasty lad, fat nasty bird, sad black bald nerd, short gay indian, slightly-less-fat bird

It's incredibly difficult to get a gp appointment? What are you talking about?

That hit too close to home lad.

My sources tell me Jacob Rees-Mogg will win the absolute majority and set up a total reign

What is the white population percentage of the area you live in?

1. Mark
2. Anne
3. Paul
4. Shaun
5. Jenny

Shaun falls apart the most on the final chases, if he doesn't get into a rhythm he ends up wasting 10 seconds thinking about a question and he loses.

Are you going to pretend to kill yourself again today?

[HESITANT APPLAUSE]

Talk to all your relatives, then friends, then friends of friends. You WILL find work, stop being a shit cunt.

Let me tell thee now lad, That stuff is like champagne in Hull, This is your standard issue drink for yuns, It's a 15% proof mixture of mulled wine and whisky and costs £3 a bottle

75%, why?

What makes them so rat-like?

I felt like it at the time. Sorry to disappoint you.

Oh great... A Papist Theocracy with a cctv camera in every home.

Tell me how you book a GP appointment.

[SHUT UP] - Directed at the comedian in drag

Somehow I don't think this is going to solve the problem.

I see Tim Farron gave into pressure from the Homo Lobby and claimed it wasn't a sin and started praising homosexuality and gay marriage.

>goto walk in center
>shit on floor

>fine wiskey
A fookin doubt it

I don't like alcohol or smokes though. plus i take my vitamins daily.

smelling their own farts and sucking each other off

Queen rat

>Tfw 96% British born and 99.9% white rural town

GTFO you commie scum

Oh come on don't tell me that isn't your biggest dream