Offensive Joke Thread

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What do you call a belt made out of clocks?

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A waist of time!

Day of the rake can't come soon enough

What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't have sex with a sandwich before I eat it

What's the difference between jam and marmalade ?
I can't marmalade my cock in some chick ass.

What's the difference between a black father and a large pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four.

What's the difference between a picnic table and a black man?
The picnic table can support a family.

Ok ok let me redeem myself.

What the worst part about being a a Jewish nigger?

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You have to sit at the back of the oven.

How do you impregnate a Mexican woman?

Cum in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

breddy gud

What do you call a group of Trump voters?

Rural and suburban retards.

My former marine buddy has taken to telling my liberal gf dead baby jokes but replacing dead baby with dead democrat. Eg:

>what's the worst part of fucking a dead democrat in the ass?
>cleaning the blood off my clown suit

>what's worse than a dead democrat in a trash can?
>ten dead democrats in a trash can
>what's worse than that?
>one's still alive at the bottom eating his way out

You are why we burn leafs

kek

this sin will not go unnoticed

too little too late

What do you get when you cross a nigger with an octopus?

I don't know but it can sure as hell pick a lot of cotton

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How do you test for pregnancy in Harlem?
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Pull out the tampon and see if the cotton is picked.

kek

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Should have left off with this leafnigger

How many jews can you fit in a volkswagon beetle?

>2 in the front 3 in the back and 15 in the ashtray!

Fuck we need more of these threads, many keks

contribute fgt

Fuck you cunt

What do you call an aboriginal falling down a cliff?

Abolanche

What do you call an abbo falling up a cliff?

Black magic

Offensive joke?
Your sex life.

pretty fucking good I've gotta say

How do you starve a nigger?

Hide his welfare check in his work boots

What do you call a 300 lb. Pima?

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Anorexic

Whats two miles long and has an IQ of 40?

An aboriginal land rights protest march

What do you call a black man who grew up in a broken, inbred and fatherless family that lives in a dangerous neighborhood, but through sheer tyranny of will, overcame his toxic environment and eventually went on to graduate from a good school and become a doctor?

a nigger

What's long, black, in every city, and damages your suspension when you run over it?

the welfare line

Why are abos called "boongs"?

Because that's the sound they make when they bounce off your trucks bull bar

How do you stop an abo from drowning?
Take your foot off his head

Why aren't there very many Walmarts in Syria?

Because there's too many Targets.

On his long way from melbourne to Perth a truckie picks up a hitchhiker. After a while the hitchhiker says he's tired and lays down in the truck's "sleeper" compartment for a rest.
A while later the hitchhiker is woken up by the noise of the truck running over something: "BASH!, BASH!, BASH!".
"What's all the racket?" he asks the driver.
"Oh, I just hit an Abo".
"But what was all that other noise?".
"Well, I had to go over two fences to get the cunt".

What separates humans and animals?

Fuck me the first time I heard that I almost died. Never heard it prior to last year or so

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Why don't women need watches?

Why did hitler kill himself?
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He saw the gas bill

What did Jesus say on the cross to the abos?

"Don't do anything until I come back"

Maple niggers

The world is so PC nowadays you can't even say "black paint" anymore
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Apparently you have to say tyrone paint the fence.

What has four legs and 3 eyes?

Your aborted fetus