>I get matches on tinder/bumble
You have to look in the right places, OP. Why would a quality woman be on a casual hookup site? Intelligent, respectable women don't use Tinder.
Don't look for women at bars, clubs, or parties, either. Find women in places of shared interest. You're in college, so you have more opportunities to meet girls now than you will ever have in your life. Whatever your hobbies/interests are, go join a club related to them, and meet women there. Talk to women in your major. Meet women in your dorm, assuming it's co-ed.
>my shoulder/waist ratio is too fucked and lifting won't help
You're admitting defeat before you even make an effort.
First off, you shoulders probably aren't that bad, and even if they were, you could easily compensate by doing more OHPs and shoulder isolations.
Second, even if your shoulders are total garbage, lifting will still improve your overall appearance. You have the capability of going from a 2 to a 6, and you decide not to do it because it won't make you a 10? Please.
And maybe you don't realize this yet, but lifting is only partially about appearance. It will give you a massive confidence boost that will help you in all other endeavors.
>go socialize
>I'd just get made fun of by people I can't relate to
This goes back to my first point -- find people you CAN relate to. Again, you have infinite opportunities while you're in college. Use them.
All of this shit is fixable. The only thing keeping you beta is a beta mentality, and mentalities can be changed with some hard work.