Apologize

>Fat c~
livestrong.com/article/1013061-amy-schumers-workout-proves-shes-fit-hell/

I'd still fuck that slampig

tfw fit as fuck but still not attractive enuff to fuck

I'd let that fat hog sit on my face

Why is she getting pushed so hard?

>Inb4 Jew

There are a lot of Jews. Why her in particular?

Also, it is BRRRAAAPP thread.

Wtf I love Amy Schumer now

She's a 3 scoop kind of girl.

Why do people make excuses for her?

Spends 5 minutes on an elliptical... NEWSWORTHY!

Her daddy is an anti-Trump senator

Jewish nepotism and favoritism at its finest

she's a fat Jewish woman who eats a lot of food and Dicks, she's also really great (terrible) at stealing jokes. what's not to love?

No amount of work out will fix her busted face.

THICC

Wtf we are /fit/ now

Sage and move on. This thread is another case of Jewish viral marketing, literally in this case because Schumer is a fat diseased cunt.

You jelly hwite boi?

>Why do people make excuses for her?
>excuses .... her

She molested her younger sibling and no one will ever call her on it. It's called a pussy pass. All women are princesses who can do no wrong.

You meant Lena Dunman. That's a different cunt.

>Amy Schumer
>Lena Dunham
>Sarah Silverman
>Melissa McCarthy
They were all created from a Jewish clone experiment gone wrong.

I saw this at the grocery store and thought it was a special edition on beluga whales

...

>the beluga issue

She is really fit to put in the grill
Fucking miss piggy

>livestrong
Like that one ball'd cheater is a good source for anything

>/88
What did he mean by this?

>ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman
>I would like to introduce to you my client
>the next big thing
>the conqueror of the streak
>the 1 in 21 and 1
>the mayor of Suplex City
>the beast incarnate

The devourer of the worlds.

>BBBBUUUUURRRRROOOOOOCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK

>LLLEEEESSSSNNNNAAAAARRRRRRRR

Kek'd

>Pasternak says Schumer is in great shape and takes her fitness seriously, and she’s as hilarious in the gym as she is on TV.

>livestrong
it's nice to see the ship's not sunk

>Lifestock

>Those flabby arms
>Abdomen rolls
>Porcine jowls
>fit as hell
Is physical fitness a spectrum just like gender? I'm so sorry Ms. Piggenberg.

Stop fatshaming.

notice how nowhere in the article does it say when she started doing said workout or how long she's been doing it.

she could've started yesterday for all we know - assuming her trainer and her aren't completely full of shit.

she was being pushed hard before trump
This is every Jew ever.

Why her specifically?

Her cousin Chuckie needs a mouthpiece to push policy onto the kids.

I'm sorry Sow-ly In-the-fields. I'll be butter... I mean better in the future.

Lol you for your fat jewis wrong. Can't blame you, they all look the same to me, too.

because she used to actually be funny so she already had the momentum and now she will say anything (((they))) want for money and pork chops.

YEAH THAT'S RIGHT AMY IS SO FUCKING FIT, ALL YOU MALE LAND WHALES WISH YOU COULD FUCK HER AND HER SIX PACK. I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO CUM IN HER VAGINA I MEAN LOOK AT HER SHE'S THE DEFINITION OF A PERFECT WOMAN BLONDE WHITE BLUE EYES AND CHILD BIRTHING HIPS. ONLY GOD COULD HAVE CREATED SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL. ONLY A CIA NIGGER WOULDN'T WANT SOMETHING SO HOT. AND THAT'S WHAT YOU ALL ARE CIA NIGGERS. SUCK IT.

>Mfw I'm the same height and weight as Mike Tyson was in his prime.

I'm the epitome of physical fitness based in these variables

>she used to actually be funny
nah
If she had a dick she would be nobody.

She looks like the girl I fucked on the side in university but made her promise not to tell anyone as I was embarrassed to be known as the guy who fucked the loud fat chick everyone hated.

She told everyone, btw.

>livewrong

I see Amy Schumer as a challenge, more than anything. Here is a woman who, in every single aspect, is absolutely revolting - her exterior AND her personality - yet I can't help but wonder what would be like, to plunge balls-deep into her repeatedly.

That's right. Balls-deep. With no protection.

I won't lie, I'm extraordinarily-hard while typing this. I want to grab this... thing... and that's what Amy Schumer is, let's not delude ourselves, a "thing"... by the hips and ram mercilessly in and out of her quivering, malformed cunt with the force of a gladiatorial chariot, while she makes stupid faces and contorts orgasmically, unable to control her bodily reactions even if she wanted to.

I would erupt violently inside that corrupt and corrupting womb as though the entire fate of humanity depended on my seed penetrating the foul walls of one of her ovaries, the electrical fusion from this coupling creating the Antichrist, as our combined, guttural, Chewbacca-like roars shattered glass and walls alike around us, the house toppling down while we lay there in a filthy, disgusting mess.

Yeah. I reckon Amy Schumer does it for me.

What kind of shilling is this? No amount of shitposting will make her fuckable.

nah, she used to be funny, she wasn't the greatest comedian ever but she was funny.

>What else does Pasternak have her do during their sessions? Pasternak tells People that the comedian does a circuit of strength moves called the “simple seven,” targeting all areas of the bod with lunges, dumbbell lifts of all kinds, hip thrusts and planks that would challenge any fitness enthusiast.

>“Sometimes I have her just pick one of these exercises and do anywhere from three to five sets with 15 to 30 reps,” explains Pasternack. “Other times I’ll have her do all seven exercises, doing one to three sets of 15 to 20 reps.”

lmfao, listing reps but not weight? Listing reps but not saying which exercises? That's not fitness, that's gym larping.

Women who are at all serious about health and stregth LIFT HEAVY. Deadlift, bench press, squat, OHP. "Dumbbell lifts of all kinds"? All kinds under 10lbs I'm sure.

normally I like to keep shitposting in amy threads but, I actually decided to read the article this time and jesus she actually thinks she's a size 6-8? My gf sometimes wears size 5 clothes, they're still a little big on her because she small but, the fact that this tub of lard thinks she's 3 sizes bigger than that at most is insane.

Women of her height with an average, even slim weight are usually size 8-11 for being tall but she's all a chublord. She's at least a size 12, the lying cow.

Why does the media keep trying to convince everyone amy schumer is funny/fit/attractive?

good catch.
15 to 30 reps?
I'm sure its complexes and Burnout sets tho.

I heard sometimes she does 37 reps of this workout called walking. sometimes she does extra sets during break at work. She is such a strongt indepedant wimmin. .

>fit as hell because she worked up a sweat on a cardio machine and does dumbbell exercises at such a low weight that they would not even publish the weight of the dumbbells.

They are right about one thing though, she's not exceptionally overweight. Which is honestly the saddest part for her, she's just not attractive at all. I'd almost feel bad if she wasn't a horrific fucking cunt.

How does that elliptical workout prove she's in shape? In shape for what? Define "in shape".

Same thing happened to me with an intern at work. Everyone at work found out.

They proved she had a shape. Blob theorist BTFO!

>Define "in shape".

Spherical.

Raising your hands to put the spoon and fork to your mouth isn't a workout.

Apparently "in shape" means "not physically incapacitated"

>i do high reps + low weight because i dont want to get bulky :^)

>heifer

>"AMY'S WORKOUT IS SOOO HARD HOLY SHIT"
>doesn't explain what she does and only vaguely throws out some workout jargon
You are fake news.

Daily reminder.

She's pretty gross. Also, she's got that masculine kind of thickness that some women get, and it's not a good thing at all. I'd guess she's about 200lbs. That is plus-sized, no matter what they try to tell us the 'cutoff' for plus-sized is. Even if she weighs less than that, she looks fat as fuck, so it doesn't matter.

Thick ankles, no contour around the knees, and lots of excess weight stored in the face, shoulders, and neck. Sorry, but if you've got that, you're gonna have to work 10x as hard to keep the weight off, ladies. If I stored all my fat around my obliques, I'd be in the same boat. Men have to work hard to keep bitch tits and bitch hips from happening if they're susceptible to them. Women have to stop the weight from making them top heavy, or from making their feet and lower legs looking too manly.

It's a bummer, but that's how it goes. Amy Schumer is fucking gross beyond all words.

shes ugly.

she is a hippo or a whale, i can see that.

God damn those fucking abs. Amy Schumer is so fine would marry if I could.

idc i'd still fuck her brains out

chubby blonds is my thing.

Maybe she exercises enough for a regular person, but eats a fucking ton?

Because she has blonde hair. Makes it easier to infiltrate her.

More like conquerer of the steak

What it says she's fat a s fuck?

Ugh. That chunky face.

Women don't bench, stop lying

FAP FAP FAP

can't believe she used to date Anthony Jeselnik, one of the most redpilled comedians ever

>“Sometimes I have her just pick one of these exercises and do anywhere from three to five sets with 15 to 30 reps,” explains Pasternack. “Other times I’ll have her do all seven exercises, doing one to three sets of 15 to 20 reps.”
HAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

there's a girl in a china with half your weight warming up with your 1rm.

This shit does not constitute exercise. Plus, if she actually put in regular effort she would not be a fuckpig

>there is no consistency or goals in my training methods

Of course its a female trainer. Can't have fitness mansplained to you, after all.

first this lad now amy schumer
the left is getting #swole af
im really afraid now

(((Chuck Schumer)))

Anyway she's a 35 year old woman of course she looks like shit

>politics