Programmers, why haven't you taken tha cyanide pill?

Programming is an incredibly degrading job that offers 0 job security and is the vocation most plagued by ageism by a far margin. You are not respected at any normal company. Every day, some Alpha, who probably does nothing at his job except getting his secretary to suck his dick in his corner office, cucks you into doing random bitch work, and then yells at you when it's not done by the deadline despite it being impossible to complete. Not only that, the code rarely works, your co-workers are Poos brought in by Tata who will replace you for half the salary and you have to train them to get your $500 severence, and the work never, ever ends. You pollute your body with the caffeinenated jew, deprive it of sleep, and let it rot while you sit the majority of the day, neglecting any healthy exercise, social interaction or life game goal attainment.

It's like a postal worker, but coupled with feelings of loneliness, helplessness and total hopelessness. Programmers are too depressed to go postal, a sad state of affairs. After dentists, programmers have the highest rates of mental disorders, especially depression and suicide.

It gets worse. Women, when they hear you are a programmer, instantly reject you. It is far better to tell a woman you are on welfare than to out yourself as a computer programmer. It's highly embarrassing for a woman to associate with a programmer, as everyone knows they are the grown up version of the hopeless virgin in high school. One who never really grew up and became normal and fit into society, but rather found an environment where he could escape the reality of his situation and be invisible, able to hide the toxic shame and utter humiliation that is the programmer.

Programming's father, Alan Turing, killed himself with cyanide because he was a programmer. Why haven't you taken the cyanide pill and quit programming and turned to a respectable and productive profession to better society?

t. can code fizzbuzz & you can't, white boi

Other urls found in this thread:

business.financialpost.com/entrepreneur/fp-startups/why-canada-is-failing-at-tech
blog.step.com/2016/04/08/an-open-source-project-for-tech-salaries/
youtube.com/watch?v=rZHwGnGrm_k
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

happily married programmer here
plenty of job security in my country

canada sucks i guess?

this again leaf? go fuck yourself

OP, it's all true

so true

not to mention Canadian coding companies now only hire non-whites and promote diversity non-stop etc

>kill me

What...? Mate, sound like you're in the wrooong profession and it's making you miserable as fuck. Look, I'm currently fucking a programer - he's awesome, funny, charming, smart, makes decent money, great in bed, has a fucking six pack...

I'm sorry to say but it's not the profession ... it's you. Go back to school or whatever, just do something that you actually at least somewhat enjoy.

All these binary digits in a digital thread

>what did kek mean by this?

I'm gonna bail out of the industry. I just need to own a house first.

I'm a developer as well, I have my company by the balls.. If I leave the company will collapse, or software will no longer "operate" as intended..

They know, not to fuck with my bread.

OP doesn't sound like he's a programmer

Also
>mate
>fucking a guy
fits the coding faggot meme perfectly and no normal woman fucking them

Kek is confirming OP, this is statistically impossible to obtain such a high ratio of digits

>programming as a job
This is a meme right?

Why would you do this? Why would you do such a fun and creative activity for people for money? Program as a hobby. If you can monetize your creations, even better. Every successful programmer created their works as a hobby, not by being stuffed into a cubicle next to a bunch of poos.

If you spend all day programming at work the last thing you want to do is go home and program as a hobby.

> this thread again

Can't say much about the "normal" part, but I am indeed a woman happily fucking a programmer.

Post pics of feet fag

>and this is why I post on a Taoist Zen-Buddhist lewd cartoon picture exchange forum.

Can agree..

But my code has timed Killswitch.
If I don't satisfy it stuff breaks.

Then company hires me back to fix the problem == don't fuck with my bread!!

...

You know the rules here.

checked

> Bulgarian woman on Sup Forums

Aw guys, don't tell me a pic would prove anything. What, you don't think I can googe shit and have a pirated copy of photoshop? Pls.

>literally having to include deadman switches in codebase to maintain job
sounds like some poo-level job security

>what is a timestamp
>being this dumb
wait, maybe you are a female... still skeptical

Good to see whites self deporting themselves out of our countries

>know how to program
>Doesn't make anything they can sell themselves
>Cries about working for the man

>Makes post to dissuade would be programmers so they don't go into his field because he's so shit St his job and has no confidence he won't be easily replaced

From what I've seen they have a high security but get treated like shit and the wages aren't astonishing either.

>>literally having to include deadman switches in codebase to maintain job
>sounds like some poo-level job security

Think of it as a Software Licenses.
No money = No work.

I don't trust my boss anyways.
>

What is someone who used to fool around with editing and photoshop. Decent looking piece of paper, fake handwriting with a marker or whatever, passable light/shadows, throw on some grain and terrible light to begin with.. I'm not that good so it would take time, but still doable. Come on.

It's true to an extent, massive companies particularly can't stand to have programmers who are in any way indispensable. If you're socially inept and unassertive they will shit all over you and eventually replace you with a pajeet slave

If you can stick up for yourself and find a respectable company, it's decent money and not too soul destroying. But a successful gas repair man is still probably raking in more than you because he's self employed whilst you're getting cucked by PAYE (pay as you earn for burgers i.e govt gets its cut before you do)

Translation, the agenda i'm promoting is supporting the narrative of a programmer shortage by literally helping to create a programmer shortage while simultaneously wrapping it in a white genocide agenda. kys.

ffs
write on your tits then crack 2 eggs on your tits and take a high-resolution picture
>do it now

I should point out that despite being partially true this is a common shill/copypasta thread

Developer here, it's honestly one of the best industries to find a job if you are competent.
Especially now that all this poo code is being taking advantage of by hackers, companies are actually trying to find more decent programmers.

...

Compiler errors are the easiest to fix and the least of your worries as a developer.

You sound like a very uninformed individual.

I do both. Make money on both ends. Have stable contracts that have a net profit of $250k/year. Plus I can focus a lot of my time on side projects that are likely to pay even more. Win/win.

Canada is decent. Average code monkey pay is $50k-$60k/year. Which is not amazing. But they average coder enjoys the casual laid back office atmosphere. Not myself, so I started my own company.

If you are an average code monkey sure. If you are creative and opportunistic you can make it huge.

This is not possible. There is always a way to make yourself indispensable (if you are talented). Then you can demand higher pay and they won't be able to refuse.
Started my own software company. Still young (2.5 years). Have learned a lot.
Will answer questions if yall have them.

...

>Especially now that all this poo code is being taking advantage of by hackers, companies are actually trying to find more decent programmers.

not in canada. canadian companies expect to pay programmers $50K CAD, or they'll just bring in pajeet for $25K

They keep running stories here in the media about how evil Trumps "Muslim travel ban" is and how Silicon Valley talent is going to flock to Canada because Canada is supposedly turning into a global talent hub (it's not). I just kek hard at these stories because Canadian companies don't pay shit compared to US companies, literally 1/3 if that. The H1-B Poo Coders that are going to get thrown out are going to be headhunted by Canadian companies but the H1-b Poo's won't even bother because the salaries are so fucking low. And then they're touting Vancouver and it's climate bullshit, when it literally costs $5M to buy a house.

There's a reason why the US produces huge successful tech companies and Canada produces none, oh wait, we have Shopify, a fucking shopping cart and Kik, a fucking text messaging app topkek

Anyone here spend a year or two in the industry then switch to a completely unrelated job? I've just completed my placement year in a web dev company, definitely don't want to be doing this shit for the rest of my life.

>3 devs dedicated to support
>150 incoming support tickets per week
>about 50% of them are actual bugs/serious issues (other 50% dealt with by customer service agents)

>expected to get through a minimum of 3 tickets per day
>get assigned a couple of tickets at stand up
>these look simple enough
>turns out the who functionality surrounding the problem area is bust
>your ticket, your problem now

>slack popup
>serious issue here, need you to fix it and priortise it
>lose mental image of the other problem I was working on

>deploy changes to test environment
>someone's fucked up the database
>don't have permission to fix it

>user, why's your ticket count so shit this week?

Completely drained the life out of me, couldn't even think or talk straight at the end of each day. Only had the energy to browse Sup Forums when I got home; constantly being reminded of your culture and race's impending doom doesn't exactly lift the spirits.

Shopify's greatest contribution to the world is fucking Liquid, a markup language which requires you to put all your comments between
> {% comment %}
> THESE FUCKING THINGS
> {% endcomment %}

If you want a laugh just read the "documentation." If you can identify which of the two ambiguous sets of pages are the documentation (neither is marked clearly as documentation and things are schizophrenically split between them).
I mean not every project can be Postgres but come the fuck on, at least try a little bit. Even pandas keeps everything in one place.

Oh, mate tough shit. I had a job like that too, was at a Service Desk tons of calls. Hated every minute of it especially the dumbass people who should not be using the computer.

Ops a moron. And an inexperienced programmer who has no idea what the marker share is.

Most programmers, like op have no connection between reality and what's on their precious text editor.

These digits are out of control

Yeah haha. Amazing eh? Any retard can make a scripting language in a week and there are millions. I guess they have to create some products for their (((shareholders))).

Just took a quick look. They're losing money every quarter and the loss is accelerating. Shareholder equity is at $400M yet their market cap is $7.1B LMFAO! Literally 1700% overvalued. a fucking shopping cart

It's going to go bankrupt like every other Canadian company.

OPs right on the money. Especially in Canada. Programmers are treated like shit and paid shit. Canadian companies expect to get Stanford PhD programmers that command $500-750K USD in silicon valley for $60-80K CAD. Then they expect the stanford phd to create the product and do the heavy lifting while working for 10-20% of market wages and fire him when they think he's done and bring in pajeet for $30K through the TFW program from bengaluru to maintain it, but pajeet always doesn't know what he's doing and ends up fucking it up and the canadian companies' clients bail because the managers are fucking idiots and the company ends up going bankrupt

meanwhile stanford PhD goes to SV and gets hired by Google or MS for $600K USD a year + equity and creates some brilliant new product that earns Google/MS billions and becomes insanely rich through his equity grant

>just a quick summary of how canada and the US differ

jesus, no amount of money is worth that and that's what most coding jobs are. postal workers get treated better and earn more

what were you paid and what type of benefits? full time or contract? how many pajeets? what education?

I'm going into the CS bachelors in a year. Going through community college first to be low stress so I can grow my company I'm starting.

Digital Marketing Agency = Easy cash

>Programming's father, Alan Turing, killed himself with cyanide because he was a programmer.
pretty sure it was because he was a bum bandit

the only lie greater than a girl fucking a programmer is a man fucking a bulgarian

I'm 28 and know nothing about programming and don't have any other skills. Should I major in computer science to fix my life?

Please advise

Australia, I...

pro-tip

this is a disinformation campagin by poo in the loos & jews to increase hb1 visas

don't fall for it. Programmers bank. They want you working at mcdonalds

>what were you paid and what type of benefits?
£14,000 annually, although it's the standard rate for placements in the area. A graduate would be paid around £26,000 for the same position. Only benefits were cheap parking and a short commute.

>full time or contract?
Full time.

>how many pajeets?
No pajeets, 3 eastern Europeans though (out of 50). The company's also planning on opening a location in Eastern Europe (also shilled hard for remain).

>what education?
BSc Computer Science

What the fuck? That's even lower than Canada

Are wages generally low in the UK?

As a programmer:

F u

Yes, do something.

If you enjoy it, it's a great job with a high starting salary (60k entry-level).

Your tits ain't worth that much effort sweetheart

So full of shit. Your describing 1 in a million cases. But u are right about outsourcing.

Canada has fuck all for a healthy "programming sector". It has no silicon valley worth mentioning (ok a few thousand in Vancouver but it's fuck all) . Also Canada isn't respected in this market by anyone.

I'm an engineer and I program industrial controls for 130k. I'm success because I go into the field and program for the real world. Unlike most purists out there.

Do i know how to android/iphone app?
>yep
Do I know how to write 12 different languages?
>yep
Does it make good money in Canada?
>nope

Programmers here are treated like it helpdesk assholes because THEY ARE. They have no concept how to program for the field. Which makes them very worthless.

OP is jerking himself off because he thinks programming is a way of life that leads nowhere (even if touring an heroed cause he was gay like OP). OP is just beta. Programmers who diversified into the Canadian market persevere not whiny little snivelling cum gargling faggots like OP.

Tl;Dr

OP is a self loathing fag who has no clue what the Canadian "programming market" actually is.

Depends on the area and company, for the same position in London I was told to expect £36,000 as a placement student, although in real terms it probably wouldn't be much better due to the cost of living.

Canada suffers from a desperate and growing shortage of computer developers and software engineers. Over the past several decades, Silicon Valley has claimed our best and brightest. An estimated 350,000 Canadians now live in the the Bay Area — a veritable lost generation lured by good, high-paying tech jobs and access to collaborators and capital.

business.financialpost.com/entrepreneur/fp-startups/why-canada-is-failing-at-tech

>HootSuite CEO crying he can't find programmers
>wah
>wah
>why won't top programmers work for HootSuite earning $50K CAD?!?!?
>why does Silicon Valley keep stealing our top grads? why do they pay them hundreds of thousands??
>I can't find coders because I don't want to pay them what they're worth

Literally Canada

I'm a teacher but Ive just finished a Computer science degree because there are so many sperg kids these days and I fucking hate them and their cunt mothers.

I'm good at c# what're the highest paying jobs i can get?

>Programming is an incredibly degrading job that offers 0 job security and is the vocation most plagued by ageism by a far margin. You are not respected at any normal company. Every day, some Alpha, who probably does nothing at his job except getting his secretary to suck his dick in his corner office, cucks you into doing random bitch work, and then yells at you when it's not done by the deadline despite it being impossible to complete. Not only that, the code rarely works, your co-workers are Poos brought in by Tata who will replace you for half the salary and you have to train them to get your $500 severence, and the work never, ever ends. You pollute your body with the caffeinenated jew, deprive it of sleep, and let it rot while you sit the majority of the day, neglecting any healthy exercise, social interaction or life game goal attainment.


I am one of few programmers in a company that desperately needs programmers. Everyone thinks I'm a genius for writing a silly hash script.
Also I get paid like shit.

This.

I write apps as a hobby, full stack, but work in a completely different industry because I get paid $40k more to work somewhere else.

I'd consider programming as a job if it paid more.

Ireland? Not sure. Doesn't Ireland have a lot of tech companies now?

you could always go into potato farming, I hear you guys have shortages sometimes

>Everyone thinks I'm a genius
>Also I get paid like shit.
Something doesn't compute then.

not a programmer, but a data analyst so i write some code. where can i get cyanide, honestly?

Lol mfw I'm the only one programming in Canada for 6 figures.

...

I opened a dev business just Friday so programming for $0 right now

>yfw when you could be making $300-500K USD in the US

blog.step.com/2016/04/08/an-open-source-project-for-tech-salaries/

>50k CAD

That's pretty awful, I see interns getting paid around that (if you use the hourly wage equivalent).

>Be Swede programmer
>Loved at company, only the boss and one other engineer is paid more than me at local 300 people branch
>Go to help canadian branch since the Swedish boss isn't getting why their throughput is so slow
>Mfw canadian programmers are as you described
>Mfw they where so bad 7 people got fired after i got there
>Mfw we had to take in 2 Swedes and one guy from our danish branch to straighting it out
>Mfw we all got paid 4 times more than the canadian programmers
>Mfw its apparently the same in America

Protip: You get treated like shit because you are not only a bad programmer but also quite obviously a beta.
The best treated people in Sweden are Programmers, doctors and engineers.

>Inb4 le epig weponised me-me's because you got triggered

Had the choice negro. Was educated in the states.

I won't work in a country like that. I'm not that desperate to be cucked.

When I interned in the US years ago I got the equivalent of $130,000 CAD

Canada is a fucking communist shithole

This guy gets it.

>CS student thinks he's the next Zuckerkike and will make 6 figures starting
>becomes low level programmer making $50k a year
>can't afford anything in overpriced Seattle/Bay Area and has to room with 7 other people
>job gets outsourced to Pajeet on H1B1 in 3 years

what type of company and what city

90k+ to six figures is expected for a new software dev in the SFBA. My little tech company pays the engineer INTERNS like $48/hr. Even fuckers from these bullshit bootcamps are getting like $70-80k/year.

Plus outsourced software sucks, and execs hate flying to India to have meetings. They will piss away lots of company cash to avoid that.

Why is that programmer in a data center?

Cause in Canada programmers are over glorified IT helpdesk people. That's why OP is so butthurt.

i call bullshit on this story

proof

That's not that much considering SFBA cost of living. Everyone on HN constantly complains about how shitty BA is.

That's right goys. Programming is a really shit job. Don't ever go for a programming jobs of any kind. Leave that for cucks!

Stick with it man. If you are willing to grind and take on hard contracts you will do well. Say yes to opportunities. You will need to suffer some in order to learn.

It took me 15 months to earn my first dollar after starting my company.
Now I'm comfortably netting $250k in profit, after 2-3 years of operation.
It is gonna be better and better.

Why do leafs do this all the time? Like fuck off already.

If you can program you can make ANYTHING.

You can make an online store, website, software, applications, clients, and video games.

Programming is the white man's job. If you can't move from one job to a better one, that's your problem.

Lol. I hire programmers for my business that I own; don't know shit about programming. Enjoy your 10k to build a sales CRM that makes me 500k.

>The best treated people in Sweden are Programmers, doctors and engineers.

This. In Scandinavia engineering, medicine and programming are the best paying and safest degree/university based career choices. After that you get business, law and economics. At the bottom there is sociology and humanities.

...

...

I know it's bait but

> Jobs
Overabundant, businesses see a FOUR YEAR OLD curricula and call you offering a job, even insiting on it.
> Pay
Not so good. But there's not so many good paying jobs here, so better than average.
> Career advancement
Much better than average.
> SJW on the job
This is Italy, outside universities they get laughed at by commies, democrats, liberals and fascists alike.
> Women reject you
Have a smoking hot 9/10 gf, always had plenty of woman.

holy shit checked. OP is a faggot!

>If you're socially inept and unassertive they will shit all over you and eventually replace you

Newsflash, if you are socially inept and unssertive you'll become a feet rug for any company in no time, regardless of the job.

You've never had any sort of job in the field, have you?

Programmer here

don't listen to the others here, everything in OP is pretty much spot on, I am treated like shit by my peers and society for being a programmer, please do not go into it if you're interested

I have it bretty good as a programmer sampai. Pull in 120k a year, get equity, good benefits, work from home, no overtime. Key is work for white companies only. Walk in for an interview and see a bunch of chinks and poos and walk the fuck out.

What's the other industry you work in?

Wow you can do basic multiplication congratufukkinlations negro want to go ahead and plug in that lan cable.

Also fly is undone.

How does it feel to have your defining feature as a human being be that your skin is black and you can do multiplication and have a job.

THESE ARE NORMAL THINGS they are not amazing achievements.

Those losers you hang out with are pieces of shit and most of them probably do deserve death but if you want to go ahead and pick on people cause their skin colour well then allow me to show you what I can do.

See you later nigger

youtube.com/watch?v=rZHwGnGrm_k

What would you two say about hardware design and computer engineering? I've always been interested in computers but if programming is that bad then I'm gonna have to have a back up

>flag
>120K
>remote from home
LARP: the post.