For one, programming is an incredibly degrading job that offers 0 job security and is the vocation most plagued by ageism by a far margin. You are not respected at any normal company. Every day, some Alpha who probably does nothing at his job except get his secretary to suck his dick in his corner office cucks you into doing random bitch work, and then yells at you when it's not done by the deadline despite it being impossible to complete the work requested. Not only that, the code rarely works, your co-workers are Indians brought in by Tata Consultancy who will replace you for half the salary and you have to train them to get your $500 severance, and the work never, ever ends. You pollute your body with the caffeinenated jew, deprive it of sleep, and let it rot while you sit the majority of the day, neglecting any healthy exercise, social interaction or life game goal attainment.
It's like a postal worker, but coupled with feelings of loneliness, helplessness and total hopelessness. Programmers are too depressed to go postal, a sad state of affairs. After dentists, programmers have the highest rates of mental disorders, especially depression and suicide.
It gets worse. Women, when they hear you are a programmer, instantly reject you. It is far better to tell a woman you are on welfare than to out yourself as a computer programmer. It's highly embarrassing for a woman to associate with a programmer, as everyone knows they are the grown up version of the hopeless virgin in high school. One who never really grew up and became normal and fit into society, but rather found an environment where he could escape the reality of his situation and be invisible, able to hide the toxic shame and utter humiliation that is the programmer.
Programming's father, Alan Turing, 404'd himself with cyanide because he was a programmer. Programmers, why haven't you taken the cyanide pill and quit jewgramming and turned to a respectable and productive profession?
MS in CS from Stanford here. Love this copy pasta. OP is totally correct.
Everyone in CS at Stanford immediately goes and gets non technical positions at tech companies. You definitely don't want to get stuck being a programmer
Colton Wright
>be programmer >work 4h a day max >get good pay
?
Jackson Lopez
>tfw Comp Sci major at Uni with top 5 program in the nation >tfw also in upper tier frat >tfw girls love finding out that I'm Comp Sci because they don't expect it Speak for yourself, cuck. I will be enjoying my cushy tech start up job in California soon.
Ethan Ramirez
This thread every fucking day >>be "programmer" >>make programn in Ti-84 >>get hired as an IT guy for a real estate company k salary while I go to school for computer enginiggering for more programn
neck yourself OP
Hudson Lee
You're not a programmer. Write a regular expression that detects palindromes. I'll wait
Xavier Taylor
This copy pasta again q.q
Julian Rivera
I went to uiuc too, before Stanford. Get out and into a non technical position before you're 30. You don't want to compete with 20 year olds the rest of your life
White bois have a whack ass grip on tha theory of kang computation. These white ass crackas be tryin to do their perljizzle and pythonnnn whack ass graming to try to implement yo straight up question.
What dese whack ass crackas fail to undastand and why des white crackas ain't no grammers is that accordin to da theory of computing a regular xpression gotta be writable as what dose white geeks call a finite state atomic machine shit.
The thang is dat atomic machine shit is FINITE as in not universal or foreva. You kangt have inifinite stacks up in that bitch. So fo a lil palindome like "wewuzuwew" u make da machine like
aight -> w -> e -> w -> u -> z -> u -> w -> e -> w -> BANGING
than u gotz to add
aight -> w -> e -> w -> u -> z -> u -> w -> e -> (entire alphabet witout dat w) -> SHEEET
If yo build dis finite atom and boot up dis bitch and plug in "wewuzuwew" you get "BANGING" and yo ass just KNOW yo got a palindome
But if you get SHEEET, you played yoself boi
Noaw we got probs if we try to build dis bitch for ALL palindomes.
Ain't possible homeboi.
So yo white ass crackas, pay mo attention in yo Theory of Kangputation and stay da fuck outta the KANG profession.
Ian Brooks
>regex >programming
nigga what?
Noah Allen
What...? Mate, sound like you're in the wrooong profession and it's making you miserable as fuck. Look, I'm currently fucking a programer - he's awesome, funny, charming, smart, makes decent money, great in bed, has a fucking six pack...
I'm sorry to say but it's not the profession ... it's you. Go back to school or whatever, just do something that you actually at least somewhat enjoy.
Logan Thompson
I'll just leave this here
Jonathan Hernandez
>regex >detects palindromes
Can't be done
Parker Cook
Must be great being a girl, you get praise for doing literally ANYTHING
Ian Gonzalez
>uiuc >Implying
Dylan Miller
Because I like it.
Joshua White
>left, single programmer >right, comments for department When I write code (who the fuck calls it programming anymore?) for myself I do not comment shit, unless excluding sections or setting aside an alternate process while I debug. When I work as part of a group, or have to be able to pass on my work to my backup or QA team, I comment so they know what is going on. I work 5-12hrs a day depending on what is happening. I can work graveyard shift to get things done, I make my own schedule and am able to do gigs if I need a little extra on the side. Programming is taking a computer and making it do work, and turning that work into money.
Ian Perry
>Programming's father, Alan Turing, 404'd himself with cyanide because he was a programmer.
Yeah, I don't think "being a programmer" was his problem.
Nathaniel Wood
fuck yo assembly biatch!
Benjamin Mitchell
I can't compete with the big black code. Pls program my wife.
Thomas Murphy
>itt butthurt comp sci nerds with zero social skills
Being a software engineer is easy as hell if you actually have a brain and a personality. Hell, I've only been working in the field for four years and I'm already a senior developer with 4 developers working underneath me
Aaron Cruz
nice pasta. hopefully it'll demotivate poos and leafs and women from getting into programming.
Ian Bennett
So marketable, fuck me
Benjamin Diaz
t. pajeet
Mason Nguyen
>it's an NSA shill wants everyone to be computer illiterate episode
Logan Scott
It varies a lot, from industry to industry and country to country and even compant to company.
Your text describes working for big companies pretty much spot on but small - medium companies are usually comfy as long as it's not "family run" or some other bullshit.
Devs don't help themselves either. The geek culture is toxic and encourages man-children, obsessed with ninjas, gizmos and playing with the tech toys. I am always very critical of candidates that are like this when I interview them.
You are totally right about women over a certain age. Girls don't care though, at least here because apps are "cool".
Nathaniel Watson
Fuck this twat. Literally none of her fans understand what is happening in either scenario, and if the fast inverse square root was documented in full detail, they still wouldn't understand it, and wouldn't accept that it was used on purpose for its performance.
Samuel Cruz
Am an entry level programmer and this is pretty spot on. Shit sucks, but I'm too retarded for any other profession
Fuck it maybe I'll take up HVAC or welding or whatever
Wyatt Jones
Listen White boi. I only enrich weak white boi codebases in Canada thx to ma homeboi Trudope. Yo wife code base will be enriched wit big black code in no time wit dem niggaz 'rivin in Ostria thousands by tha day. Soon thar will be such a hi concentratson of diverse niggaz up dere she just gotta bend her phat booty ova and a nigga will inject his big black python code direct into yo hoe ass wifes kernel fo free.
Ya feel me?
John Murphy
>regex >palindromes
How come Americans are so stupid?
Eli Morris
I'm a computer engineering undergrad and I despise 99% of the people that go to classes with me. A bunch of shallow shy manchildren that can't stop talking about videogames or le epic science dude and which deepest form of discussion is which linux text editor is the best, for god's sake is a fucking text editor not a religion. I may be butthurth because I'm a sorta brainlet that can't get to understand complex analysis, but that doesn't change the fact that if I ever get to own an startup with my daddy's money I'll definitely hire these fucking idiots just so I can treat them as inhumane as posible without being sued for huma right's violations.
Chase Ward
What the fuck is this? Why does the right side have more comments and little "XD" bullshit than it has actual code? This legitimately pisses me off. Why doesn't she just go back to the fucking kitchen?
Bentley Mitchell
They won't sue you, they are cucks. Programming is the only skilled profession that doesn't have any professional organization or union.
Programmers exist solely to use them from 20-25 at 100 hours/week because they have no lives and you can pay very little because they are cucks and need no money like normal people for life events (marriage, children, etc).
Then once they start to bitch or demand more money you simply fire them and hire the new programmers and use them all over.
Effectively, in most countries programmers make on average the minimum wage per hour since they code 16 hours a day for fear of losing their job, especially if they're older.
EA did this for years. They would force coders to work 100+ hour weeks, no overtime, and threaten to replace them with the hundreds of thousands of unemployed coders in Canada. They made record profits off these cucks
Liam Bailey
Mate I'm a dev manager myself. It's not about the comments - left code is an inv sqrt root function. Right just checks for the larger int, and has if (a > b) && (b < a) ffs...
John Martin
>programmer >married >5 kids >wife homeschools >self sustainable >can detach and work on my own, from home
Carter Harris
the more i look at the right side of the code the more confusing it gets
Liam Myers
software engineer(aka programmer) here
been doing this for 3 years(2 were during college). The last year or so I've been a project manager. Getting a new job sometime soon, then vaulting myself into management.
if i did this for 5 more years i'd be pissed at myself for being a failure
Jonathan Butler
>children are half-black
Gabriel Diaz
I have to say, though, most software devs are progressive parasites with either a purely nihilistic or hedonistic worldview.
I'm a southern white, you projecting parasite. My children are blonde haired, blue and green eyed. They aren't growing up as degenerate protestants or neocatholics, either
Brayden Ward
...
Samuel Davis
Show us where the nasty developer touched you, leaf
Lincoln Rivera
hopefully I'll never have to live from that, parents forced me to get a degree before taking off their business, since I'm an electronic/programmer hobbist I asked myself why not study my favorite hobby? I never thought I'd seen just as much shit pilled up as the the moment i first walked on my first class.
Angel Murphy
You keep making this retarded thread and keep ignoring good advice. Fuck off leaf. Kill yourself if you're too retarded to be self-employed.
Connor Hill
Thank you for this I kek'd.
Nathan Kelly
this >work from home >$130k/yr salary >life is baller i have a security clearance so can't be replaced by pajeet and also don't code in subhuman java language
Nathan Baker
This is only in companies where the core of the business is not technology, and programmers are the cost center, like HR or janitors. In bona fide technology companies programmers have prestige and good pay.
Jaxon Moore
You missed the part where she didn't account for a == b ... apparently, max(1700, 1700) returns 5.
If you look at the repositories under Karlie's github account, take a look at the commit history. Really, do it.
Nope. Postal workers make bank, have a union, 401K, and layoff protections. They can also "transfer" jobs, which means they can move to any state/city they want and they'll have a job lined up for them when they get off the plane.
Also, the machines are automated and do most of the work.
Nathan Bailey
>Programming's father, Alan Turing, 404'd himself with cyanide because he was a programmer. WRONG. He was a mathematician and killed himself because of his mental illness. Programmers are like brick layers, they do a simple, repetitive job. The mathematican is like the architect or structural engineer, the people who understand the whole structure, for them bricklaying is a trivial task not worthy of attention.
Insulting Turing is really wrong to denounce Turing like that he did a lot of good for the world and doesn't deserve to be labeled as something so low as a programmer.
Hudson Gomez
The Wakefield massacre occurred on Tuesday, December 26, 2000, at Edgewater Technology in Wakefield, Massachusetts, where Michael "AotC" McDermott, an application support employee, shot and killed seven co-workers.
The weapons he used were an AK-47 variant, a 12-gauge shotgun, and a .32 caliber pistol. He fired off a total of 37 rounds, shooting his victims in the back of the head repeatedly. Police later found a .460-calibre Weatherby Mark V rifle at the defendant's work station.
>He was found by police sitting calmly and stated that he did not speak German.
>At trial, he stated that he was born without a soul and that God had allowed him to earn a soul by traveling back in time to kill Nazis.
>McDermott claimed he had "traveled back in time and killed Hitler and the last 6 Nazis." However, the prosecution asserted that the killings were motivated by his employer's garnishment of his wages for the IRS, to pay child support taxes that he owed.[citation needed]
McDermott was found guilty of seven counts of first degree murder. He was sentenced to seven consecutive life sentences without the possibility of parole.
Isaiah Russell
>doesn't deserve to be labeled as something so low as a programmer.
wew lad: the post
Charles Myers
I wish that he went back in time and killed this """"""""""""liberated mathematician"""""""""""".
Austin Nguyen
>wew lad: the post A great mathematican should not be compared to a regular office worker. There are millions of programmers living right now but probably less the 10 people who contributed to science as much as Turing did.
Are you next telling me calling Gauß just a regular accountant is justified?
Gavin White
>else if(a > b && b < a) >return a;
rustled
Lucas Smith
>tfw you realise that talking to a computer (code) is nothing like talking to people through a computer
computer's are awful
I don't know how people subject themselves to learning the minutiae of different programming languages, etc., knowing that it will be obsolete in a few years
Michael Hall
You don't want to work for a company, I agree, but you can make low six figures in yoropoor monies or in petrodollars easy mode.
You'd be damn fool to not dip your toe into that pond.
Joseph Price
>Americans >stupid Says the Mexican :-D
Xavier Nguyen
it's obvious you don't understand programming the algos, underlying concepts and design patterns don't change the syntax is simple window dressing
it's like saying that there's no point in being an accountant since the tax code changes every year
