That feel when the blackpill grew from within you

when it crystallized slowly. gradually forming a growing cancerous black marble attached to the deepest part of your soul

when nothing real makes you feel good
when the tiny fraction of your phenomenological surroundings that trigger your serotonergic systems are chaos-enforcing, fantasy-embracing handshakes with the devil and you can't begin to imagine a path to correcting this downward trajectory because it a self-sustaining spiral toiletbowl flush into malaise, resentment and existential dissatisfaction

and when even your family members who are the closest people in your life have given up entirely on understanding you, relating to you, empathizing with you, and have ceased to care that you feel bad all the time.
when no one in your life can stand to hear your shit, well, ever.
when you go for months, maybe years, without having a mutually genuine, meaningful conversation with anyone
when you can't even read for 20 minutes anymore because your brain is clouded with anxiety over nothing in particular, or, more particularly, everything in general

when the world seems empty and pointless everywhere you look

when the frustration from these difficulties turns you into a depressed husk of your former self
when, conflating this realization of your spiritual decay with the bleakness of the world around you, you'd rather embrace the eventual death of whatever desiccated flakes left remaining of that former self than to do anything to try to reconnect with what once made you happy (the nature of which you can't recall if there ever was such a thing)

when you think about death as a vague concept and the anti-living, anti-good, anti-human nature of the infinite every day
and I will never feel less alone
when suicide (in the more personal sense) doesn't sound so bad but you're dragging this vessel around for the sake of people other than yourself

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=BHus7wIrevE
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

when you've passed the event horizon and gravity is pulling you inward, your descent velocity only increasing, the spin vector twisting inward infinitely
We've all heard or shared the imperative "DO NOT TAKE THE BLACK PILL," but in my experience you do not choose to take it. It is a natural formation at the center, when you've had the cosmic fortune of being born into the electromagnetic grasp of a black body so incomprehensibly, inextricably massive that there is only one path: down/in, faster and faster, into a place where nothing comes back.

I feel like many people on Sup Forums can relate to this feel

Everyday I wake up thinking about hanging myself. The image, the place, the material. Every fucking day since I took the blackpill. I cannot get motivated for anything. Everyone sort of hates me, even though they still love the 'former me.' I keep failing everything, and I don't care. I CAN'T CARE! I try to fill the void with religions. Something. But nothing takes. Everything falls away. I'm in an abyss. I can't breathe. My skin is rotting. I haven't showered for 3 days. I piss in bottles. There are bugs crawling beneath me.

I have met the devil and he is me.

>I hate humanity and life itself

>could you please read my blog post about it? I am feeling lonely

/thread

...

Depression in itself is a sign to people that you are lonely and need help. This is not a contradiction.

>would rather resume shitposting in slide threads than acknowledge the danger of the blackpill in a legit effortpost thread

So

Fucking

Edgy

shitty emo poetry

take the white pill:
>the world is fucked up
>the world is supposed to be fucked up
>it won't be fucked up forever
>life is about learning through suffering
>the pursuit of truth is a multi-lifetime journey
>the most important things happen inside your heart
>no need to worry

stop taking yourself so seriously

listen to a bit of alan watts

Not that I can't relate to the feel though. Go lift some weights you dumb pity-party triplenigger.

Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not from the Father but from the world.…

1 John 2:15-16

I needed that!

pol is bleeding into r9k is bleeding into pol the thread

>life is about learning through suffering
>OP posts about the suffering of being
>stop taking yourself so seriously

you sound effeminate

my prescription is alejandro jodorowsky's The Incal, any of the top 10 jazz or rock albums on piero scaruff's web site (i like robert wyatt - Rock Bottom), and Princess Mononoke. maybe learn the tarot

satan is a terrible foe that you can defeat only by developing your consciousness. don't look to the external world for answers or received meaning. look instead for lessons for your personal problems. art is the best lesson; most rationalists are hypocrites.

that's my advice, anyway. get off /pol.

Good. Go break some pb's dad.

can you write any response without using only le greenarrow meme text?

if you get super bummed out by 'the black pill' to the point where you're writing 3edgy stuff like you, you're going about this the wrong way

usually this kind of shock is what makes people realise the truth in the existence of god, and people begin a spiritual path. a negative experience or realisation leads to new understanding and clarity. you said you dabbled in a few religions and couldn't find one, well, you're doing it wrong; read up on the concept of god, find speakers who speak to you on a soul level, define and exercise your understanding of the divine. choose and travel your own path, which may or may not involve being part of an organised religion (I'd advise against this, if you're smart enough to form your own intelligent opinions, and choose your own beliefs)


despair is for faggots

The black pill is a lazy concept... and controlled opposition.

The red pill(s) are many and are very difficult to find... the pursuit of all red-pills is the most important task a sorted out man must undertake.

schizoid personality. accept it

very true. only time ive felt 'blackpilled' is when i was shaken or lost.

it is weakness.

the internet is poisoning you. stay away from it completely for three days.

I piss in bottles too bro I just cba to run to the toilet at night

A wise user once said "use the redpill to enrich your life, don't let it consume and destroy you"
What you're doing is pathetic, get a grip and grow a backbone fag. Sure everything is fucked up and surreal nowadays. But you sitting in your room moping and writing emo poetry is not helping anything. Go out, socialize and hide your powerlevel like everone else and work towards being prepared for when the west has had enough of (((their))) shit.

Um, lurking Sup Forums moar didn't make me anxious or "Black Pill" - or whatever you call it.

It simply made me want to suck logs of shit from Andy Sixxx asshole.

Kek. Op is truly a faggot this time.

don't stress too much, doesn't benefit anyone, laugh and enjoy the memes

We all share this same burden with you. You arent carrying it by yourself. Cut your shit and realize you're better than that. If you take your life or inspire someone to take theirs you have failed your lifes mission and will be granted with nothing but eternal shame.

youtube.com/watch?v=BHus7wIrevE