Pirate against Islam thread

Raise the black flag lads!
Itt share ye Arab tales, I'll begin.
> be docked at Port whilst 'avin me ship de-barnacled
> me crew an I browse ye olde market whilst the negros work me ship
> see Arab man board horse drawn carriage
> carriage sets off bound for ye market, something fishy about this scoundrel
> carriage makes a sharp starboard turn and bombards through crowds
> Carriage comes to a halt after ramming the cabbage stall
> notinmyport.scroll
> draw me cutlass and take charges at the brown scallywag
> '' HALT! ''
> two port guards bellow whilst blocking me charge
> '' Thou shall not attack the man of Islam, unless thou are racist? ''
> bymybeard.map
> long story be told
> that be the last time I take port in Sweden

Other urls found in this thread:

pirate.monkeyness.com/online_pirate_translator
youtube.com/watch?v=x-64CaD8GXw
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llandoger_Trow
twitter.com/AnonBabble

WTF is the pirate option even for?

Us, but with ships.

Stealing booty on the high seas?

YO HO HO! YE GAVE ME A HEARTY CHUCKLE MATEY!

Give me a new discord invite link ye scallywag!

Yarrr, that be some splendid tales yer tellin

Got any rum on youse?

Yaar you scurvy dog aren't you happy that pirate posting be back

For those lads who ain't filthy stinkin land lubbers.

>be me
>1712
>run god-fearing, calvinistic-protestant crew of scots, northern irish and south welsh
>sail a giant Carrack ship along the spanish/portugal coasts raiding the papist scum to our hearts content
>need to resupply, head over to morocco
>mfw no jin or whiskey for sale
>mfw no brothels
>mfw no taverns
>MFW JIZYA TAX
>crew become impatient, cranky and tiresome
>declare mutiny, abandon me on spanish shores with barely any loot
>mfw spend the next 20 years of my life in a tiny boat with a crew of a dozen catholic spics fishing 100 metres off the coast

**laughs in pirate**

friendly reminder Pirates are more politically relevant than Libertarians

Pirates were stupid, and into weird sexual stuff. Most of them were backed by monarchies, so not the free spirits they pretend to be.

Okay that's a great punchline.

...

land lubbers will never understand the political superiority of the pirate political compass.

Pirate psy-ops. Saged

Nice. Do another Uncle

>I_know_nothing_about_piracy.jpg

Everyone should check Henry Every. Glorious fucker pillaged muslim treasure ships on it's pilgrimage to Mecca with loot worth £52 millions in today's currency and raped whole batch of women for harems.

Listen up liberals, ye be all done fer 'n pirates are raisin' th' black Jolly Roger o'er pol. We be th' stronger, superior voice. Thar be naught that can be done, no volley fire, or flank that can out maneuver our swift boats, 'n sharp tongues. Pirates owns this forum now land lubbers.

pirate.monkeyness.com/online_pirate_translator

Arrrrrghhhg!! I be tellin' ye dem moon worshippers arrrr te worse. But CrownKissers arrr even morr filthy.
>Decide to dock 'ol Rodger Pickle in the Caribbean.
>Uncharted Island
>Order Crewmen te search n destroy any native settlements furr Rum
>Spot an ol' English Frigate making its way over
>LaunchCanonBalls.featherpen
>CrownKissers fire back
>Sunk muh Rodger Pickle in one volley
>ScumCuntEnglishCrownKissers.spyglass

>that be the last time I take port in Sweden
Aye, my sides be broadsided by that one!

REPORTIN FOR DOOTY

youtube.com/watch?v=x-64CaD8GXw

Already drunk m8

>I love this
Four score 'n seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, 'n dedicated t' th' proposition that all scallywags are created equal.

Now we be engaged in a great civil war, testin' whether that nation, or any nation so conceived 'n so dedicated, can long endure. We be met on a great battle-field o' that war. We 'ave come t' dedicate a portion o' that field, as a final restin' galleon fer those who here gave thar lives that that nation might live. 'tis altogether fittin' 'n proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can nah dedicate -- we can nah consecrate -- we can nah hallow -- this ground. Th' brave scallywags, livin' 'n dead, who struggled here, 'ave consecrated it, far above our poor power t' add or detract. Th' world will wee note, nor long remember wha' we say here, but it can ne'er forget wha' they did here. 'tis fer us th' livin', rather, t' be dedicated here t' th' unfinished work which they who fought here 'ave thus far so nobly advanced. 'tis rather fer us t' be here dedicated t' th' great task remainin' afore us -- that from these honored dead we loot increased devotion t' that cause fer which they gave th' last full measure o' devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall nah 'ave died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall 'ave a new birth o' freedom -- 'n that government o' th' scallywags, by th' scallywags, fer th' scallywags, shall nah perish from th' earth.

'ave ye lads seen how much our pirate culture be takin o'er th' virtual gamin' media?

Everyone wants t' be us lads, 'tis good t' be a pirate today

shy m8 for rum ya

Here be a classic pirate jingle for ya scallywags.

We be no strangers t' love
Ye know th' rules 'n so do I
A full commitment's wha' I be thinkin' o'
Ye wouldna get this from any other scallywag

I jus' wants t' tell ye how I be feelin'
Gotta make ye understand

Ne'er gonna give ye up, ne'er gonna let ye down
Ne'er gonna run around 'n desert ye
Ne'er gonna make ye cry, ne'er gonna say goodbye
Ne'er gonna tell a lie 'n hurt ye

We've known each other fer so long
Yer heart's been achin' but ye're too shy t' say it
Inside we both know wha''s been goin' on
We know th' game 'n we be gonna play it

'n if ye ask me how I be feelin'
Don't tell me ye're too blind t' see

Ne'er gonna give ye up, ne'er gonna let ye down
Ne'er gonna run around 'n desert ye
Ne'er gonna make ye cry, ne'er gonna say goodbye
Ne'er gonna tell a lie 'n hurt ye

Ne'er gonna give ye up, ne'er gonna let ye down
Ne'er gonna run around 'n desert ye
Ne'er gonna make ye cry, ne'er gonna say goodbye
Ne'er gonna tell a lie 'n hurt ye

We've known each other fer so long
Yer heart's been achin' but ye're too shy t' say it
Inside we both know wha''s been goin' on
We know th' game 'n we be gonna play it

I jus' wants t' tell ye how I be feelin'
Gotta make ye understand

Ne'er gonna give ye up, ne'er gonna let ye down
Ne'er gonna run around 'n desert ye
Ne'er gonna make ye cry, ne'er gonna say goodbye
Ne'er gonna tell a lie 'n hurt ye

ITS FER STEALIN BOOTY YA LANDLUBBER

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now, lad.

Ye scurvy-infested, bilge-drinkin' swab

Ye should walk th' plank after spreadin such lies. Maybe th' sharks will 'ave mercy on ye.

AAAAAAAAAH!!!

Every FUCKING day wit' these STUPID farrgin' MEMES! I've had it up t' HERE wit' squiffy farrgin' memes! Ye scallywags make me wants t' KILL MYSELF! Be that wha' ye farrgin' wants? Fer me t' farrgin' KILL MYSELF 'n write on me suicide note "Cause o' suicide: Couldn't handle all o' th' squiffy farrgin' memes, scuttled meself"? 'cause that's wha' it might as well farrgin' say!

Ye scallywags are literally, L I T E R A L L Y incapable o' havin' even th' SIMPLEST o' farrgin' discussion without "MEME THIS, MEME THAT, PROBABLY TYLO BE CHILLIN, HERE'S A PIC OF HUMBLE CANNONS BY AARON ELLIS, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA EBIN AMIRITE?" Farrgin' STOP IT ye pathetic farrgin' FAGGOTS, ye be such farrgin' cancer that I cannot even fathom how ye farrgin' scumbags live yer squiffy gay lives. Don't ye 'ave a job t' get t', schoolwork t' finish or a family t' attend t'? Do ye literally do ANYTHING productive wit' yer lives other than post squiffy farrgin' memes on th' chanties section o' a god damn anime imageboard? Ye farrgin' scallywags make me sick 'n ye're damn lucky I don't 'ave any o' yer farrgin' addresses ye farrgin' pieces o' shits. I'd spit in yer faces.

Belay those lubbers tales and blow it out yer bilge pump, ye imitation wench!

Avast, ye swabs!

This here be Pirate Captain John an' I abhor each an' ever' last one o' ye. All o' ye be harpoon targetable, scurvy addled, feeble-minded, gout ridden, nay-life land lubbers who spend ever' second o' the'r tide spyin' at lily livered, imitation wenches' arse engravings. Ye be everythin' wretched in th' world. Honestly, havin' any o' ye looted any spoils? I say, guessin' it might be merry, makin' jest o' swabbies on accoun' o' bein' marooned an' all, but ye all take t' a whole new sea level. This be worse than plunderin' yer own mudder.

Don't hornswaggle me. Jus' hit me wi' yer finest powder. I be pretty much tha spittin' image o' Jolly Roger, himself. I be captain o' my own swashbucklin' crew, an' I be th' fearsomest scourge ever to set sail o' th' seven seas. What activities do ye entertain, other than batten'n yer own hatches down an' shiverin' yer own timbers t' scantly clad paintin's o' land lubbin' oriental wenches? I also loot hidden treasures, an' be havin' a bangin' hot lass (She jus' blew me down; booty was SO fortunate). Ye all be scallywags o' the lowest rank not ev'n fit fer sailing a life raft who ortin' ta jus' keelhaul yourselves. Thank ye fer tha parley.

Parchment Related: `Tis me an' me floggin' wench

>Blackbeard

You can't fuck with Bristol.

Apparently, he used to drink in the Llandoger
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Llandoger_Trow

Also, I recommend this book if you like reading about pirates. Its written in Ye Olde English and is quite brutal regarding the descriptions of torture and rape etc.