Whenever you feel cucked, just remember someone convinced europeans to shoot water at their asshole when they shit...

Whenever you feel cucked, just remember someone convinced europeans to shoot water at their asshole when they shit. We used to use a leaf; Europeans turned their back on the leaf and hemmed it on their flag.

Wtf i love assplay now

Europeans have always been faggots

Implying bidet isnt for übermensch

What kind of dirty animal would try to rub shit out of their ass hole with dry paper. If somebody wiped shit on your arm would you wipe it off with a dry piece of paper???? The answer is no

People who use toilet paper are one step above designated street shitters and that's not saying much

Wait, you dont wash your arsehole with water after you shit? Do you enjoy smelling like poo all day?

Germans designed their toilets to admire their shit before they flush it.

>he can't shower
I know you're not familiar with water on your continent, but here in America, we enjoy a plentiful bounty from the sky.

Damn right brother, tell them cucks as it is. Real American men don't sprinkle water at their asshole, the real American men just shit standing in the middle of the market, without a care for the world. Fuck yeaaaaaaaah.

>cue USA flag flying in the wind

>how to give yourself swamp ass 101

you shower after ever shit? Fark mate.....

>not having a morning shit shower shave routine
How many times can fairy bread possibly make a man shit in one day?

>shoot water at their asshole when they shit.

You're doing it wrong

>how to give yourself swamp ass 101

Drain the swamp

Is this already the third day that bidets have had you so assblasted?

I'm the only person in the UK who doesn't believe in smearing shit to "clean" it. Maybe the rest of Europe isn't so bad.

>when you're Australian and you distract your joey with fairy bread to escape to the bathroom long enough to do meth in the sink with the spiders but you get in a fight since you're both addicts and even though you get your ass kicked it's okay because you made it out alive with a piece of meth just in time to discipline your kid for tying up your 56k internet gambling on neopets
At least your asshole is wet.

>go wash your ass poohjeet.

dumb frogposter

true patricians take a shower after shitting

>when European life is so despondent and nihilistic they have to diddle their bum hole with jets to make it through the day

>has a diet so bad he only shits once a day
Yup definitely American.

Ascended patricians shit in the shower

SE Asian bum gun is the best thing for your arse!

Toilet paper is retarded, if you don't wipe like 5 times then your ass will smell, if you do it'll be chafed and still smell pretty bad. It's just dumb jewish consumerist crap to get people to cough up 10 bucks a month

This, see...

If paper is a jewish trick, what is a dildo fountain?

FLUSHABLE BUTTWIPES BOYS

then waffle stomp in down the drain. i like your thinking

>Americans

>Chops foreskin off for """""""Hygienic reasons"""""""
>Does not use even use a bidet for true hygienic reasons.

>When American life is so despondent they have to choose between a dirty asshole or lead poisoning.

that's the advanced version, the primitive one beeing a bucket of water and the left hand.
nothing wrong with bidets or alien tec jap sprinkling crappers. if I'd have a sceptic tank or direct sewer-to-sea I'd install a bidet.

who here baby wipes master race?

I did that once when I was drunk. The GF came over the next day and after we had shagged we had a shower together. She get in and says 'whats that smell'. I lied and told her I couldn't smell anything

I'm a shit after shower type man

Here's some true facts that may or may not be related... I don't know. It's nebulous.

1. Friction kills bacteria
2. Water cultivates it

I knew a bloke who installed one of these bum guns in his house in England. He always complained during winter that the water was too cold on his arse.

Come on, you have a quick wipe after you wet your bum. You dont leave it dripping

Not paper, overpriced paper only used for an unnecessary purpose, whereas the bidet just costs like a few pennies in water bills

A dirty old washer (poo rag) next to the sink, unless it feels like a golden drop (paper comes out clean) I won't even bother wiping - straight to the sink, washer, soap, hot water.

I wonder how many are making fun of bidets without ever having used one. chicken?

>has to use toilet paper anyway
>tricked into anal banging a liquid spire for no reason
>leave pieces of wet paper on freshly fucked asshole
>convince yourself you're not getting jewed
Wew lad the absolute state of your life.

You in western Sydney?

>Jewish crap
Heh heh heh... the conservative Koch family strikes your wallet again. Wipe with pride!

>has to use toilet paper anyway
Just one wipe, essentially to DRY
>tricked into anal banging a liquid spire for no reason
No trick needed. I do it willingly
>leave pieces of wet paper on freshly fucked asshole
Has not happened yet
>convince yourself you're not getting jewed
No need for convincing. It's not happening

Wew lad the absolute state of your life. You really do need to clean your dirty butt, don't you?

Lmao. Guess you don't bathe or shower either because of MUH BACTERIA. Is that the best justification Americans have for being smelly fat fucks?

>flushable*
*Not all systems can or will accept flushable wipes, including, but not limited to, those listed below: RV or marine systems, systems in which grease or fat disposal share a drain pipe, systems with history of slow flow and/or clogs, macerating toilets or household pump systems, if advised by the system operator, if unsure of system capabilities.

>The instant the Jews returned to France in the early 17th century, they brought with them the invention of their anal water dong to spite the goyim for expelling them in the 1300s

There is simply no excuse in 2017 to still be using expensive dry paper to smear shit around your anal opening when you defecate.

Water is the only way, you don't even need a fancy Japanese-style toilet or bidet, just get a bum gun from ebay.

You say white people have no culture um think again sweetie

Barely anyone uses the bidets here, I bet the % of them is higher in the US. Although I have never used one they are far superior to smearing shit all over your asshole with a dry paper.
Don't forget that (((somebody))) convinced you to cut off a part of your dick

Dead @ bum gun

>He uses paper or water.

I thought toilet paper was jewish? (see )
Now you say the same of the bidet?
I am tempted now never to clean my arse again

>someone convinced europeans to shoot water at their asshole when they shit.

This is part of my history that I wasn't aware of. Please elaborate before I shove a fire extinguisher up rusty bullet hole.

I have been arround whole Europe and I can barely recognize even one of these toilets

Pic related
Its a usual Bathroom in Bulgaria
They use the shower to clean the toilet.
Very efficent

You see bathrooms like this through Asia as well.
They always seems very clean. Its obvious why

Lol read an article the other day , a British university they had to remind foreign students to use the toilets and not shit in the showers or the bins kek

... and not to squat on regular toilets

Id love a bathroom like that in my house so easy to keep clean.

What I don't get is When you use a public lol and theresbis shit up the walls and the loo like "bruh wtf how did it go so wrong, it's not hard to sit and shit baka"

French.....

Kathy Griffin would have disagreed until just days ago.

The imaginary basin drain pipe is pretty cool too. Efficient use of materials.

I've used one of those in France you actually get the optimal shit on one of those. We were designed to poop squatting not sitting it's why the West has problems in that area like constipation. It's ideal when sat on a loo to have your legs at a 45 degree angle to your chest. Keep a little stool. Also squatting it's a cleaner delivery so less wiping is necessary. Team that with flushable wet toilet wipes and you have peak god tier pooping.

Just use that hand basin water when mopping the floor. Simple really

real men have more hair on each cheek than a middle aged man on his head. If i shat in your head, and you patted it down with soft paper, do you really think that is sanitary rather than oh idk degenerate and short bus as fuck?

Holy shit the leaf is right

>Implying I'm not far from Europe as possible
No degenerate shit in here

But you can tell that person has a healthy diet because, that person, is in the herbs section.

this is a slide thread

leftists are literally destroying our civilization and you're talking about wiping ass

It's not like you're being very proactive by posting in Sup Forums anyway.

>Canadians have a piece of proto-toilet paper on their flag

I just wet the toilet paper to clean better, no need to hose

You're not the boss of me. We can't fight a race war with a shitty arsehole

Well you say that but moist toilet paper tends to disintegrate when friction is applies. If you want confetti in your arse hair crack on lad

... it all makes sense, now

You're crapping way over your quota.

>hold it in, we can win

>be Ameriflab
>shit pants

56%
NOW I feel better!