Tuvalu thread

Does Tuvalu have any treaties or promises with other countries? we don't wanna get fucking swarmed by the US or the UK the second we land there.

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drive.google.com/open?id=134rsdEWV4TNwb_GYWCAND9cgxZOi4DWG0oN8luYpCs8
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Make sure you livestream the invasion

>that one time some retard sent a "deceleration of war" to the PM of Tuvalu and actually hot a response

I need to see this

I don't remember the guy getting a response

...

ign.com/boards/threads/so-Sup Forums-just-declared-war-on-a-real-country.454897534/
FYI, if you're an American the Neutrality Act makes filibustering (wars waged by private citizens) illegal. Regardless of any existing treaties between the US and Tuvalu, if any Americans are involved the US has the right to retaliate as a police action.

>US has the right to retaliate as a police action.
only when you're back in drumpfland

In all honesty wouldn't Nauru be a better target since it's only one island? Might have a better police force though

That wasn't real. He never showed proof he sent it. He just took a screencap of the message.

Yeah, the US only does police actions on its sovereign territory

>Does Tuvalu have any treaties or promises with other countries?
Gee I wonder.

Australia protects Nauru. It's where they keep their concentration camp for asylees.

The US can only extradite from certain countries though.

Wars a beach.

Dude, the Vietnam and Korean Wars were "police actions".

And who will stop them from extraditing from Tuvalu?

Use cellphone and radio jammers to stop them from alerting international authorities until it's too late

who cares if they're allied with Pakistan?

>Jetski Teams
>Amateur hour

You just need a hot air balloon and some coconuts thrown over the sides to take over a shithole like that

Guys we need to find an australian with a boat and a firearm smuggler

AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA LOST IT AT THE JETSKIS

KEEP MEMEING THIS THING IT MAY HAPPEN AFTER ALL

jetskis are perfectly good vehicles for crossing the open ocean.

>I don't remember the guy getting a response

it was a tweet, if I recall correctly, someone posted user's decleration of war, and the PM or leader of Tuvalu tweeted back "Sup Forums, Please stop with the threats." or something of that effect.

I got the picture somewhere......

>implying they aren't

>Smith Island.

Small Island in Maryland, suffering a loss of residents over time. (No police on the island at all) people on Smith Island laid back watermen.

The watermen of Smith Island are practically red-pilled throwbacks anyway, centuries old culture and accent.

Does anyone have an archive of these threads?

>people still unironically call america the land of the free

name a better country

That means they're allied with US, you fucking retard.

We should probably just take over somalia. Its not like anyone would mind as long as we stop the pirates

They could be a protectorate of New Zealand.

nope

It is summer and fags are about.

Yeah one just the thread.

>this thread again

lmao last time I saw these threads I was in Whistler a little less than a year or so ago.

btw it'll never happen. even in the RARE chance of us finding an insane richfag, the staging point would be 50% FBI agents and would arrest us when we all arrived.

wtf guys
literally hundreds of uninhaibated in the oceania region.
why would you want to take this piece of shit?

Can I be part of the elite jetski squad?

>They could be a protectorate of New Zealand

Nah mate, just gave the PM a ring on the blower. You're good to go, just clean up after yourselves.

larping pol style

we'd rather not start from ground zero, these niggers aren't using any of the stuff for good purposes anyway.

any Sup Forums colony is a joke.

They think that just because they believe so much in the end goal, it'll magically happen.

Then you see just how unqualified everyone is to do things as basic as organization of leadership.

the problem is always money.

I and others toyed with a peaceful take over.
drive.google.com/open?id=1SGE7f38FKGUXpMgICwbdlTlIIJcPO_sk82pI_Ktrzcw
Feel free to take off from there.
I was having trouble figuring out how to register as a non profit.

This is awesome. That's our legitimate cause.

These plans are hilarious I'd love to draft up more.

The whole place is defenceless.

This, you can buy them online.

We can get away with a lot in international waters.

Launch a gofund me here

Shotgun death Squad

Don't need some one rich. Just play to the sensibility's of leftists with an charity.
Here's the todo list
drive.google.com/open?id=134rsdEWV4TNwb_GYWCAND9cgxZOi4DWG0oN8luYpCs8
-Mange

If we gave them all helicopter rides & said they were accidents would we get in shit?

From ages ago. I sent it to Palamene the Minister of Foreign Affairs at the time.
Depends on how obvious you are about it. But with enough public pressure in our favor, anything is possible.
Country break international laws all the time. But because the people couldn't care less, nothing happens.

Australian here, you guys can invade Tuvalu we're fine with it.

Release Pepe Pepesworth

DONT INVADE THE ISLAND YOU GOONS

"Tuvalu maintains close relations with Fiji, New Zealand, Australia, Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, the United States of America, the United Kingdom and the European Union. It has diplomatic relations with Taiwan; the country maintains the only resident embassy in Tuvalu and has a large assistance programme in the islands." -wikipedia

Anyone who wants to invade will hace to face all of the above

Wow.
Big if true

super mighty invasion strike is called off boys

for now.........

We could send one destroyer there and end any threat to the Tuvalu citizens. You should leave them alone, go take over Pitcairn, they only have 56 odd people living there and they are all inbred rapists that deserve a good eradication. Fucking disgusting animals.

If you read the mission statement, their relation a purely financial. Tuvalu has no strategic purpose. It is simply a black hole money goes into to appear as if you're helping.

Why not just team up with SNP and try to take over scotland

but once the rich people who hide their money on the island hear it's being invaded there will be a war

One guy supposedly worth 2billion, the other is around 20 million.
I highly suspect the billionaire to be a pedophile, as he's done nothing to help the islands, and is only there because of loose child sex laws.

>go take over Pitcairn, they only have 56 odd people living there and they are all inbred rapists that deserve a good eradication.

Fuck yes, those assertive pieces of shit deserve genocide. fucking underacomplishing mutts with only claim to fame being that they're the rapebabies of traitors and black slave women. Low iq mutts who destroyed the local flora and fauna by importing goats and transforming the nice little island into an under productive shithole. My blood boils every time I hear Pitcairn

The Jetski idea is nice but where are you going to deploy the Jetski's from? Unless you're transporting them over the larger portions of water with a cargo capable vessel, I don't see how you would have enough fuel to get to the island by Jetski.

The best method for entry is tourism. Just get a flight there. Book a room in a hotel or B&B and wait for orders from Kek Command.

This should be the framework for the orders you may possibly recieve, depending on your Team (Team = #?).

>#1 Siezes communications towers on the island.
>#2 Occupies dockyards, halting the entry and exit of all people, goods or services.
>#3 Occupies Government departments and civil service buildings, but leaves the main Government Building to Team #4.
>#4 Takes control of main Government Building and blockades entrances, preparing for a siege.
>#5 Takes control of all gas stations, refuelling points, car recharging points and vehicle repair shops.
>#6 Blockade and interrupt the exit of police, fire and ambulance stations, slowing their reaction to a point of total loss via time constraint.
>#7 Takes control of information centers. Post Office, Registry Office, Marriage Registry, Funeral Directors, Doctors, etc.
>#8 Takes command over all systems of food. Slaughterhouses, Water plants, The Pond. Any place that might facilitate the creation or distribution of food to the people.
>#9 Assume control of the highways and roads, erecting temporary roadblocks from materials found on site.
>#10 Seizes the airfield and halts all imports and exports of any goods, services or people.

All these things can take less than 2 hours to do on an island that small. If you take the communications first, you might be able to take the entire island without anyone knowing about it but those who live there.

All teams must be assembled off site and must not change members once they are assigned. 2 weeks is a minimum attendance for briefing and training for any member. 3 weeks should be the limit.

Cont.

heist when

2 billion could build you a small nation

>declaration of war
Are you retarded? Do you want them to be prepared? It must be a Pearl Harbor-like ambush out of the blue.

Indeed my Romanian friend.

The war declaration was made more than a year ago, the whole mission has not even been commenced. It's time we stop talking about this old meme

So let's say this all somehow works and Sup Forums now controls Tuvalu, what do with do with it's 10,640 residents?

>Sup Forumsandia
>namibia
>pitcairn
>madagascar
>tuvalu
>vanuatu

when will you guys decide on a settlement?
also namibia was the best option

holy hell it's been a while
i was just thinking about tuvalu the other day, too...

deport them before they start underground resistance

maybe you should decelerate the fuck out of here abdul
>German strategist

also dont let the TIDF slide this shit

Any longer than 3 weeks allows for a loss of a member, or for the group to be infiltrated or subverted by an outsider.

Each team must consist of a Team Leader, who will be succeeded by a Team Second, should anything happen to him. There must be a minimum of 20 people to a team, with a maximum of 50 people, the bigger the task the bigger the team. For example, Team #6 would need a maximum capacity of 50 people, split into two units of 25. One led by Team Leader, another led by Team Second. Team #6A will blockade the police stations alone, while Team #6B will blockade both the Fire Station and Ambulance Depots.

Team #8 Would need a total of 50 people also, split into 5 groups of 10.

Team #1 should be the smallest at 20, split into 2 units.

Holding the island after the deed is done would be a different story. You would need to make yourselves an independent nation quickly. You would need to elect a representative, chosen out of nominees from each of the team leaders. A total of 50 nominees should be chosen.

Each person must be voted for in a seperate election, on the same day. Once you have elected officials, you now have oversight and government. You can send ambassadors to neutral nations and try to become a recognised state.

i already brought up a good point.
and youve got a lot of aussies with you, could settle on some of their islands in the northern territory, or their smaller but larger group of islands in the southwest. would be easier to get supplies in the west, but also would be easier to be noticed.

He has a point under 60 combatants to deal with is a lot easier could literally take the island before any communication was sent

They have the Sup Forums ambassador captive at the back of the supermarket.
That's reason enough punk

nah m8

we're taking Papua new Guinea from the shrunken head blow-dart nigpigmys

To aid you in becoming a recognised state, you could use the Tuvaluan citizens. I'm not a silvertongue and I've never negotiated terms of recognition for a state before or leveraged hostages against the world, so I wouldn't know much about how this next part is done. You work the release of the hostages into an agreement with another country for recognition of your state.

To be honest I'm getting bored writing this and I'm running dry, so I'm gonna stop bootin'.

Let's do it.

Half of that's unnecessary if we have a few 'round up' teams that simply heard all the people they can find into vans (pile em in like chickens) and takes them to a central makeshift pow camp or two.

Like a central prison or tennis court.

Hell yeah, we'd hold them hostage and no one would know. We could seize his foreign assets too lmao.

Also, offshore banking would be good.

Pic related.

One of the baltics would be the best desu.


Disclaimer for the Australian government: everything I post here is satire. It's all just a silly game.

Free Pepe Pepesworth

I shall not sleep

how hard would it be to attach some propellers to the island itself and turn it into a flying landmass fortress

You can't just go around forcing people into vans, that's how you start a fight. You want to hold the entire population against their will without the means to actually hold them. Do you know how long it would take to round up everyone on that island?

It would be easier just to pretend that you're civilians rioting, that way you actually gain support and maybe a few idiot rioters. Then you can hold a small portion of the people that work in any of the buildings or services I outlined.

10k people in a tennis court...

I believe some small Euro country would be best for a mass Sup Forums migration plan

Sell them to china or something

All posts made by this poster are to be considered satire and in no way assisting the invasion of an island nation or commonwealth territory.

I like the idea of taking over several small island nations first, less resistance which means less casualties for us and also more training for future combat operations. Additionally, the small isolated islands will be easier for an organized and trained force to defend. After taking the islands however we must focus on making them economic power houses so that we can fund and support the eventual invasion and annexation of larger nations in Africa that are more bountiful in natural resources that will be useful for industrial growth.

see link What we need is some /sci/cluded individuals to help fill out the data pack. And a /biz/fag to get on the legal work for registering.
I've got most things nutted out in terms of overall picture, but I can't do everything myself.
I still need a bit of time before I come back on to figure head the show, current obligations and such. It's good to see that there's still interest in the project.
When I'm back in action, you'lls know.

>yfw Kekastan is the next ISIS

>training runs on commonwealth territory
>retreating across thousands of miles of open ocean
>small islands are easy to defend
wot

turning your worthless sandbar into a tax haven trap for some elites however..
>implying Intelligence agencies won't tap into pol for future invasion ideas
Hey guys what about grenada or panama

dammit i stream a lot of movies and tv shows from vidzi.tv, denying the jew their shekels. this could backfire

Also the Congo... Filled to the brim with feral tooled up nogs.

Why invade when you can just buy?

privateislandsonline.com

Well, these islands would be good locations for the owners of said islands to practice small scale amphibious invasions and also fighting in jungle environments. A small island is easier to defend for a small trained and organized group from invasion unlike a nation such as Namibia which is bordered by other nations. What I mean to say is that the only countries we will have to really worry about trying to invade us is the US and Australia as they would be the only ones with the military power and logistics to pull off said invasion. China is to far away to reach, Taiwan will not sacrifice man power when under constant threat of China, the UK would just ask Aus to sort it out if they even cared enough to notice and the Aussies probably would not care at all since we would not be able to threaten them in any real capacity for the next 150 years. Also, don't think the US would care about it either. So effectively, anyone who is an actual military threat will not care and everyone else is either to weak or to far away to do anything about it while we are in the very early stages.

I think it would be more difficult to raise the funding and then declare nation state.
Once our 'charity' takes over Tuvalu and actually does good with it, we'll have much more persuasion to grow and form on new lands. The key is doing it in the right public light.
And with minimal disruption to islanders, and their beliefs.
There will be issue, as known they're not really that keen on saving their own asses. That's why we'll need to embark on a smear campaign against former governments of the islands.
It's known they vote family into office there, so there much room for divide and conquer. This is very doable considering we should have many user's on our side.
But participation is key.

...

Could you jam the internet / phones of such a place?

Like theres a population of 10k. How long would it take a crew of like 200-300 people to slaughter 10k?

Without being able to get a message out it would probably be a week or two (depending on flights) before anyone even noticed.

without those human shields what's going to stop a single aussie gunship from running train on your whole suicidal operation

Oh, and the Mission Statement in link If you've got any ideas that can be added to the portfolio, feel free to mention them.

Upon conquering Tuvalu, we need to create a wooden/marble statue in the loving memory of Hitler. Additionally we can add Kek sitting on Hitler's shoulder to thank the higher power.

Agriculture is the hardest part in all of this, as we would need to plant potatoes and tomatoes, but apart from that everyone would have to survive on fish alone. Hydroponic gardens could be built in every house to grow tomatoes and lettuce, radish e.c.t

you neckbeards arent landing anywhere

I agree. Thus being said...

>we need to fully support these fucking cunts! Worse case scenario we lose a few Sup Forumsacks. However, best case scenario we never have to fucking here about 'kekistan' again

ITT: Larping kids

>stop trying
>give up
>surrender
How's that outlook treating you?
>it can't be done
You don't know that. Christ, there's still country's popping up out of thin air. Nothing is set in stone.