How do I become Jewish?

I'm thinking about becoming a Jew ironically and also to meet cute Jewish girls

Do I just walk into a synagogue and ask them?

You? Never. Marry a jewish woman and you children will be jews. But you, never

Step #1: Chop off foreskin with a sharp object

I'm sure there's a process to convert someone who wasn't born a jew

goys can never fully become jewish becuse they have no soul
im not joking, its what most rabbays say
the goy have spirt but not a soul

Nonsense famalam

The process depends on which branch of Judaism you are interested in - and also on the Synagogue itself.

i-is it true shlomo?

Hey Ultraorthodox user how are you doing today and what are you doing on this part of the internet?

it is not just ortodox who belive this
it is part of the kabala and jewish mysticism

>it is not just ortodox who belive this

Just about any liberal Synagogue will allow converts. Fair share of Conservatives will too.

The process itself takes years and lots of patience which most people aren't up for, but it definitely is possible.

Post jewesses

Send £10,000 to my cousin in law, Ben Goldberg and he'll sort you out

Isn't it about time to drop the whole "God's chosen people' thing? Judging by your history it's become abundantly clear that there's no god watching over you.

They are chosen though. They are a warning to all other people.

the type of convetion i know is not just long it is abusive, i know some people who got really fucked up by this process

Anyone can convert.
But the more religiious sects have a longer process to go through.

you cannot join them
you will always be a goy

Is the end of your dick snipped off? If not, just do that and you're 90 percent Jewish now.

You deserve to be spat on

Before you do check out the cute Jewish girl's mother. They age quickly and the results are not that positive.

yep, completely true.

Yeah. Just walk in and say you're interested in learning more about Judaism, with the potential to become Jewish.

They'll try to discourage you. Keep at it.

What about Gays then.

I bet they have souls; I've seen them dance.

It's not just the faith. It's the ethnicity. Jew is a race, and I doubt you're it

Literally this, only ones to become a member of the tribe are non-Jewish women who convert and marry a proper Jew.

Or OP could just marry a secular Jew and by definition his kids would be Jews. He wouldn't have to circumcise or learn about ancient Jew babble

Why don't you kys kike?

You get like me.

Huh, I thought that people who believe this nonsense thought that converts gain that special Jew soul upon conversion or that they had it all along and were destined to convert or something like that.

Just cut your balls off and start sucking nigger dicks. You'll fit right in.

jews are not a race its a lie
it have a very diverse origin
but it is a close inbred comunnty

Klaus, a literal JEW is telling you how it works and you are all
>nuh ah, it's like this.
Face it, you can only be a jew if your mother is a jew. Otherwise you are just a flunky goy.

I've seen some German kikes on pol before.

>inbred
oh boy

...

can you keep the soul if you unconvert ?
do you get the same one if you reconvert of you get a new one ?

Just start larping as a Jew. That's what I did. After a while, you'll be 100% Jew. Performing tricks will become second nature. Your sense of smell increases as your nose grows, thus making food taste better. I'm almost a Rabbi now. Ama.

good question
does brother nathaniel have a soul?

ye he's a jew IIRC

it work both way
jew can never fully unconvert
he still have the same soul no matter what

so you could be considered fully aryan in nazi germany (if you only had 1/8 or 1/16 jew blood IIRC) and still be fully jewish (completely jewish matrilinear line) ?
i wonder how many jew SS officers were there .

>How do I become Jewish?

Worship Satan.

but whyyyyy???!!!

alot of jewish culture is based on self improvment and eugenics ,we tried to make the ultimate pesron
little did we know we just invented Tay Sachs

You did make the ultimate person, Jesus Christ.
But then you killed Him and then you became the enemies of mankind.

People don't think it's possible to convert to Judaism because it's almost fucking impossible to do so. It takes a couple years of study before they even do the conversion itself, unless we're talking about a conversion outside of Orthodox Judaism, but only an Orthodox conversion is recognized as legitimate to gain citizenship into Israel. Rabbi's are supposed to initially turn you away as well, since only the truly perseverent are to be considered for the process.

It isn't like converting to Protestant Christianity where you're all set if you believe Jesus died for your sins; conversion (outside of marriage related reasons) is extremely rare because the only people doing that are the ones that have come to the conclusion, however they did, that it's their fucking destiny and life affirming for them to follow that particular religion and are willing to intensely study holy texts under a Rabbi for years, learn all the traditions, go through the rituals, be willing to change your food diet and go kosher, push themselves to study the Hebrew language and finally they will partake in a Mikveh bath and formally become Jewish. It's so rare that some Jewish people believe that particular person's soul found it's way back to the tribe and was a reincarnated Jewish soul.

If you're mom is Jewish then you don't have to do jack shit.

You could be an atheist and think Judaism is bullshit and even CONVERT TO ANOTHER RELIGION, but they would just think you were "being a bad Jew", but Jewish regardless.

THAT'S why no one converts, you either don't know what you're asking for, or your starting a path that's going to be painstaking to go through.

Maybe second and third definitions, but original REAL jews of the first definition are a race. Those of second and third are just goy

What about Ethiopian Jews? Are they considered Jews in Orthodox Judaism?

correct

learn about judaism even practice it if you want, dont convert, its an unnecessary abussive and painful procsess

You can't be Aryan if you have jewish blood.

Judaism is the only ideology that doesn't seek converts. Factually they make it very difficult to convert. I don't know how you're going to convert to a "race" though...

Zoroastrians also don't allow/seek converts.

My ancestors were Russian/Polish, there has to be a Jewish mother somewhere in there right?

Good luck OP, and welcome to the real Sup Forums master race!

By becoming pic related.