Veterans, tell us more crazy war stories

Doesn't have to be hardcore shit like the time you shot all those sandniggers and raped their kids. It could be a whacky goofy funny type story too, like a tale of negro ineptitude.

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My dad was in nam

He told me that his boat capsized when he was 18 years old and he was a machine gunner.

He could not to let go of that gun.

t. two gunshot wounds and had his nose shot off

waiting for my army call job offer as i type this, bumping

>working as military contractor in afghanistan
>soldiers runs into my office
>red faced and out of breath
>"have you seen my gun?"
>What! No!"
>runs out of building and into sun set...

ITT: subhuman underage ameritards larping

i wish i can kill every american subhuman.

My dad was an army air force helicopter pilot in nam and he said he loved watching zipperheads get cut in half by 50 cal bullets. He alway made it sound enjoyable.

Afghanistan is cold. Shooting at faggots from helicopters is fun. Patching bullet holes in the air frame instead of sleeping isn't fun.

I wonder how many underage COD playing wh*Te suburban kids making their shitty story up to post here right now.

Father got conscripted in to soviet union army for chechenya, never got to the battle itself, got leg broken in half in shitty training, got it wired up with metal that it still there and cant be removed and got chained to the bed with other dudes that came back from the war itself.

Everyone were either cripled psyhicaly, or mentaly. But this one dude stood out of the bunch.

Noone dared to sleep near him, noone dared to talk while he sleeps, literaly, every fucking one legged cripple slided in to their rooms like silent dead slugs just so he does not wake up, because in one accident he got suddenly woken up by one of the hospital sisters and instinctively stabbed her in to neck with a Spoon-Fork (yeah, that thing was widely used) sending her bleeding all over the place and causing ridiculous panic.
Everyone was shitlesly scared of that dude, because at that time there, no one gave you this "You have PTSD and must be seperated".

grandpa hit a nazi in the face with a shovel so hard that the kraut eye popped out of its socket. also executed a bunch of nazis after finding a shallow grave where they massacred some nuns

:(

>Be Navyfag
>Worked in a department with 20 people
>Remember hearing about how when population numbers reach a certain percentage of a demographic that things change for the worse
>Though nothing of it until one day
>My department had a lot of people leave and a lot of people come in
>Our demographics changed and we had 50% blacks and they ranged in the E4 to E7 range
>Automatically we saw corruption favor blacks
>Sailors test to advance
>Black sailors tried to cheat the test and eval system to get an advantage
>There were affairs and quid-pro-quo among the blacks
>The blacks could not compete with the white and asian sailors despite having the institutional power in their hands to do so
>White sailors work was cut to make their evals look bad and some sailors were given days off to make them stop working all together
>Eventually the promotion period passed and no one got promoted
>A few months later after investigation several black sailors were masted and demoted, a few transferred, and one brigged for misconduct.

>and now I post on Sup Forums

I learned first hand that Sup Forums was right. I never put much thought into demographic numbers but this shit actually works.

Great-grandfather freikorps'd into an officer's commission under Hitler.
Grandfather ended up as the East German support staff in some Israel-Palestine war.
Father got arrested in the USA and spent the rest of his life making cryptic remarks about organised terrorism.
I'm here, sensing a pattern I really don't like.

haven't had any military in the family for hundreds of generations
>london ww2
>air raid sirens
>nazis blitzing shit again
>great great grandfather shelters under table
>doodlebug crashes through roof
>explodes everything
>he died

is he still alive?

Why don't you go eat some pork rinds you fat virgin mudslime faggot. That pedo Mohammed, shit be upon him, is frowning at you.

>Be in arab country
>training a arab radioman how to use a radio/walky talky
>explain that you press the button and then speak to send the message
>give it to the arab
>presses button
>Starts to make telegraph noises (Beep beep) into the radio.

>meet guy
>he looking around the market
>He says he looking for his brother from another town
>they are supposed to see each other on a day
>They never agreed on the year so he just shows up every march 3rd or so to see if the brother showed up.
>Two years later i see him
>Brother finally showed up the year before

>ANYONE WHO PEPES IS A VC
>ANYONE WHO DOESN'T PEPE IS A SHADILAY VC

redpill me on asians in the military

are they
>muh model minority

youtube.com/watch?v=O0PoIUtianw

>like a tale of negro ineptitude
With niggers, it's roughly 25/75. 25% of the time (probably more like 15 honestly) they're decent and hardworking because they came from good families. All the others are incompetent and lazy niggerish niggers. Hell, I work with one right now but I can't call him out on his niggerdom because of equal opportunity and racism.

>dead solider Turk
I thought you died, pity

Looks like the Kurds missed one

I work with one that shows up drunk, does half the work we do, and sometimes leaves on his lunch break and never returns. If I did that you can bet your ass I would get fired instantly.

I got really drunk during one night during a training op in the US SouthWest. We out there for 3 months and it was only one of the few days were were allowed to drink so I was getting 'er done.

As I stumble from the shitter to the tents I see what appears to be a rock shaped like a rattlesnake.

I reconned by bootkick and found out that it was indeed a rattlesnake. Good thing too, because if had been a rock I might have broken my toe as hard as I kicked that motherfucker.

It rattled like it was fucking pissed. I don't know if it tried to strike me. I had boots on and didn't get poisoned, which was good enough.

When I was at FOB warrior (Kirkuk) years ago I was jacking it in the showers in our trailer

A rocket air burst went off over the trailer, I fell out of the shower with my dick in my hand

First jack I got in after being there for three weeks

Still finished, came hard as hell

>be me
>deploy
>fobbit
>never did anything of real consequence
>return
>youre welcome for my service

>kicked it
>it rattled like it was pissed

Well, yeah.

>wearing pro mask bc sarin gas in our ao
>chatting with friends back home
>keep getting shitty copy pasta from them telling me 7 eleven was a handjob
>call gf (ex) who can't shut up about sjw shit
>hang up the phone
>go smoke shisha with iraqis that are pretty fucking cool
>should have married one of the sisters they wanted to introduce me too

I don't hate my generation, but there horrid taste in music started making sense to me. I'm not the smartest guy, but fuck they are idiots.
mostly koreans and vietnamese, mostly patriots, for some reason they are usually enlisted and yeah they are reliable.

Yes and then some. They ace pretty much any test and are dedicated to the job, I have never had a problem with them because they either do what they are told or they are promoted up to your level quickly.

Gays are surprisingly good too. If you don't want a black yeoman then you just get one of your gay sailors to do the job. Keeps admin off your back and it looks good for """diversity"""". gays are also the SAR swimmers.

Mexicans are clowns who get into trouble for stupid shit and blacks are the majority trouble makers. Lesbos are wannabe men and most women are either fast-track officers or pregnant sluts.

>there
*their

fuck me.

I served 2 tours in the Great Meme War
AMA

Had some fun on a fast attack submarine during the cold war. Not telling you faggots about it. Hope you enjoyed the story.

...

...

What a piece of shit your grandfather was.

Bait

>be me
>low IQ
>low agency
>join military because I have no other prospects and it makes me feel empowered
>spend all my money on my car to impress my fellow enlisted men
>have to use payday loans to maintain appearances and keep my trashy gf around
>get deployed to some place in the the desert with lots of brown people (New Mexico?)
>shoot some of them because ZOG said they are my enemy
>tell everyone how I defended their freedom from these dangerous people
>they thank me for my service and tell me I am a great american

He calls us subhuman hahahahahaahahaahaahahahaahahaahhaahahaahahahaahahaahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaahahahaahahahahahahahahahahh Pic related.

How bout when the USA took over that hotel and had hajiis cleaning it for em while they drank beer in the pool and fucked local qs, then al quaeda said BOOM and the 12-story building blossomed into a fireball and over 400 soldiers died but the us gov issued a media blackout to try to stop the rags from using the event as propaganda... Any vets remember this?

Being a woman is basically a guaranteed NAM at the end of tour or just for doing their job.

>pooping yourself on a stalk lane

Snipers will know

Local qts*

my best friend is korean, he for some reason joined the marines. He was super smart, got accepted to some crazy good IT college.

I think it was because in korea you just go into the military.

Anyone he owns a bunch of stores now.

Former US Army infantryman, the funniest thing that happened to me was in a training rotation in Poland. A Polish officer walked in on me jacking off in a stall I forgot to lock.

What the FUCK are you babbling about?

My cousin told me the story of his uncle's father who fought in the trenches.

> be him
> gets shot in the lower leg
> fall in shell hole
> still alive
> French troops retreat
> he's fucked
> German counter-offensive
> Fritz falls into the hole
> they brawl an take their bayonettes out
> Fritz is mortaly wounded
> "we are humans, breathe while you still can"
> Fritz shows him the picture of his wife
> babbles a few words with one another
> noone can understand the other
> Fritz dies
> feelsbadman.jpg
> leg starts hurting very bad
> infection is close
> the mud, the mud, the mud
> has to cut it off
> takes Fritz's knife
> (Frenchies were greasing they knives while the Fritz cleaned theirs)
> cuts leg over bullet hole
> passes out
> wakes up in a Frog hospital behind the lines

Are there a lot of arab or muslim type dudes on our side over there? From America, I mean, not the Afghani Retard Army guys. Do they ever have like moral dilemmas or anything about, you know, slaughtering their own people for jew gold? They ever defect to be with their towel head brothers?

>be on submarine
>hundreds of feet underwater
>emergency blow (ship rapidly ascends to surface) for training exercise
>shit gets fucked up
>submarine is at a 47 degree up angle
>everything and everybody slides to the back part of ship
>every single alarm on the boat is going off
>lose lighting
>people are crawling over each other to get to where they need to go to fix it
Scary shit

oh man, you are taking me back to the obama campaign days, you guys have started sucking now that trump is in office. everything came full circle and now kushner is out there in a suit looking like a calvin klein model. meanwhile oil for food just got the germans and french a bunch of mosques in their daughters bedroom. why argue when you can just let time do it's job?

you won the meme battles, but who won the war? who ALWAYS wins the war, eventually?
yeah they have conscription in s korea so it's kind of a right of passage depending on which political spectrum your family is in. good dudes all around really.

Oh boy, stalk lanes. I actually never had to shot during one, but I walked up on plenty of dudes taking a piss during stalks. When I went to school, it was summertime in Georgia, so there was plenty of vegetation to piss comfortably. It was hot as balls, though.

Oh I should mention that the safest rated up angle for the submarine was 40 degrees before the ship was supposed to fail and everybody died.

Now in the books the angle is 47 degrees to unknown. srsly

>had some fun

You're talking about gay stuff, right?

>fast attack submarine
>Navy

Yeah he's definitely talking about gay stuff.

*shit, not shot

I did shoot, though.

Just finished Das Boot. Spooky shit user

The Navy is ridiculously easy for them if they aren't officers. In boot our RDCs never really bothered with them or IT'd very much. Females never really had any expectations on them. Then of course when you get out into the fleet they don't do any heavy lifting, painting, or cleaning for that matter. they get to knock off an hour before the males to get their kids or dip from deployment if they get pregnant.

The only good females were the officers, they were all blonde Academy trained pilots.

USS San Juan ssn751 if you want to google it and learn the full story

>Got entire Great Grandfather generation erased from my family tree when blitzkrieg started.
>7 brothers conscripted by soviet army at the start of war.
>Guess how it ended.

I once gave loads vaccines to a bunch of int.ops troops, I think they were going to Afghanistan.

No, tons of Arabs want to really fuck up oppressive regimes in Islamic countries. If anything they are pissed off that the US has humane rules of engagement because they want to start fucking up anyone they know is loyal to a tribe/islamic sect/insurgent group etc that they hate. In fact a lot of native arabic speakers would keep their language skill a secret so they could patrol with infantry because they didn't want to go join the bullshit politics that happens with staff and planning. The western media misrepresents islam and what is actually happening over there a lot, and most muslims won't bother explaining it to a population that won't listen, but a lot of them had a personal stake in it.

On the other hand, yes they did have issues with the shit people might say about muslims in the military and that would make them crazy from time to time, but those guys were usually fucked in the head anyway. Like that psychiatrist guy.

Bittersweet sight.

It meant our platoon was getting off of the ship. But, it was always a shithole.

>be me
>be on op in afghan
>tank hit with rpg, and then hits ied between to drainage ditches
>tank gets blown up
>squad call in 9 line for tankers
>pjs come in guns blazing on all homes
>after medivac focus on house rpg came from
>shoot at shin level across multiple times with mounted .50 cal so there's nowhere to hide
>tanks hit building and bring it down
>do battle damage assessment
>twelve people estimated from sets of feet and hands found
>be pissed I don't get to know who I hit.

Same shit different branch. It's everywhere navyfag. In the army, they don't have to test and they just promote black NCO's to positions they are not qualified for.

t. Armyfag

Yo burgers, thanks for you and your senpai's service. Keeping your hat safe, so respect.

I hope this changes with the Trump dynasty and the return of segregation.

Hey man, to be honest yeah I get that these goat trading people and their sand deity aren't really a threat to me or my freedom. The west has been at war with these people for 3000 years though. Many of our ancestors fought and died against them too. Look how they gleefully shit all over Europe. Fuck em. You did the right thing and your ancestors would be proud of you.

Grandpas friend told stories from vietnam

>almost every night there is a raid by viet cong
>holes in barracks and non stop alerts
>have to be held up in fucking tent while being shot at by gooks
>cant do anything about it because its hard to see in the night and they're right by base

And another few from instructor that was teaching my njrotc class a few years back

>Be navy crewman, tour is almost over and get sent to hotel in bahrain before being sent home
>during the day turn on the news, enormous crowd protesting in the streets right outside the hotel
>able to see the protest live while watching the news
>military helicopters coming from horizon
>seeing in real time helicopters firing missiles into the crowd while watching the broadcast cutshort because crew dies from blast

>be stationed on navy vessel, nothing too out of the average
>one day seal team comes aboard with secretive cargo
>word gets around and everyone knows that navy seals have something super important on ship
>find out later that the body of osama was brought onto the ship

assuming you're white I mean

thank u for ur service

>It rattled like it was fucking pissed.

kek

I remember one time doing a random vehicle check point in some shithole village or another in our AO in Afghan, seen this jingle truck rolling up with a goat sitting in the passenger seat. I found it pretty funny until I saw that there were 3 women sitting in the bed of the truck, it became hilarious at that point.

Had this negro e5 that had transferred to infantry from being an MP for 15 years. He wasn't a bad guy just not very competent, called him Pathfinder. He didn't go on point much.

I recall a time that we were doing a joint patrol with some ANA guys and we came across an IED in the road, while we were calling up EOD one of the Afghans set it off with a stick somehow without telling anyone.

Another incompetent negro shot an ANA guy that was part of a gun team providing supporting fire for his element once.

Found a vibrator burning trash once. Also found a belt of 40mm rounds another time. Another guy got hit with some light shrapnel when something or another went off in the pit when he was burning trash.

Saw an FO get high as dogshit on hash and walk straight into C-wire and proceed to fall into it while wearing PT shorts and a Tshirt.

First week of USMC bootcamp, black dudes acting like black dudes. Third week of USMC bootcamp, black dudes sinking to the bottom of the pool, being rescued and cryvomitting.

Jesus dude you're always posting the same shit on every thread like this

glorious victory for the cccp?

Until we stop inviting them they cannot be properly identified as invaders. These people are not our friends, but they pose no real threat if we stop enabling them.

I bump this

It fucking sucked, I could only rely on 5 people tops to get the job done. People like that made a fun job into a shit one.

I have never seen more niggers afraid than at swim qual. Had a ssgt, he had to qualify in the fleet and we all were laughing because our gunny was helping hold him up to learn how to float while he chimped out

They were literally the first guys to defend against Nazi Germany invasion. All are lying in one of those mass graves probably, or worse. Shit man, they got gathered up and sent out.
And once the shit ended, one of the widows sent to Siberia for free vacation too.
Shit, that period of time is pretty fucked up in a lot of Lithuanian family trees.

>escort in indian ocean, unofficial, unmarked and heavily modified bay class, 4 others on board
>boat mostly covered in hessian and fishing paraphernalia
>sight fast boat approaching on the bow side about 800 metres and closing
>stay below gunwale, rpg sails over the bow followed by another
>jump up, friend rips hessian cover from M2HB-QCB (Browning .50 cal), draw lines through the fast boat, boat shows hull trying to turn
>fast boat and somalis disappear in a plume of water and smoke
>laugh our asses off
I'd up the vid but I'd get into a lot of trouble
Foras admonitio

>be me
>be stationed inna RoK
>go to mortar gunnery range onna DMZ
>NORK propaganda unit has loudspeakers set up to greet us
>"herro purse tank" (Hello, First Tank [1-72AR])
>"doughnut be a played" (Don't be afraid)
>they play hey jude by the beatles
>twice
I don't get gooks.

Mom calls unit and tells CO that her son is a deserter and wants us to come get him. CO tells black guy to go get deserter. Black guy arrives at house and finds deserter hanging from a rope, dead. Black guy tosses dead guy in back of Hummer and drives back to unit. Next day, CO asks where deserter is. Black guy says he's in the back of the Hummer.

Well I suppose it only makes sense he's angry, he fully realized that the whole weight of the us military could come down on his shitty country and buttfuck them into submission and there's nothing he can do but die. Ultimate cuck

We caught two guys in a car with a wad of american cash and it was new money. obviously we think its a payoff from insurgents for some sort of work they did for them. we get nothing from the guys when we ask them where it came from so my platoon sergeant pulls out pistol and does a mock execution on the guy while asking yelling at him through translator to talk(pistol was unloaded). guy pissed himself and started crying so we just let it go. take him and his buddy back to the FOB to get interrogated by the secret squirrel guys. turns out they were informants...WORKING FOR THE US ARMY. the reason they didnt say is because they were afraid our translators would snitch them out since some of them are insurgents themselves .KEK. The whole place was so fucked up.

>I wouldn't want to bring communism back, but you know....
that's just an all around fucked up story, i don't like deserters but his mom was fucked up

Oh look, the eternal antiwhite roach

that's pretty badass

Yeah it was cool, but I was legit seriously pissed to not know how many I shot

>Spoon-Fork
Spork! :D

You want real fun? Make them do an OC spray qual. That shit is funny as hell to watch.

kek

>be me
>go to the 'office' one day
>video on the big screen
>hmmm ... predator feed
>helo op ... a shithook ... oh shit
>shot or malfunction ... shithook begins to spin
>soldier gets flung out the back ... OH SHIT
>and it crashes
>on a loop for two fucking hours

The suicidal pathological altruism of the West. The people who wave them in with open arms never consider the implications. It's the same people that are too stupid to see how unlimited mass third world immigration and cradle to the grave socialism for everyone are totally incompatible.

You'd think they'd have developed a natural resistance to it by now

Hell yeah. Australia, my nigga.
It was a good day for white people.

this kek'd muh sides in

My brothers are fucking dead

was .mil fag in 90's. threaded wars. had no funs. Now, two best pals are former Spooky Tier One Cats. One tells story...
> oh shit dark thirty in iraq
> pal and other highspeed ninjas stacked on door, ready to kick in and spirit away habibi.
> door guy is just about to boot open door, when...
> DING DONG.
> "That Guy" Ninja leaned on door bell.
> Whole team freezes.
> Whole team glares at That Guy.
> Habibi opens door.
> Habibi is yanked out of door.
> Habibi is spirited away.

My great uncle was in 'Nam. Never met him though, he died there. Odd thing is that he was drafted for his first term of service, but he survived through the whole thing, then he decided to reenlist and died shortly afterwards.