Be me

> Be me.

> Have a lifelong best friend.

> Friend has thicc, blonde mom with big titties.

> Friend's mom is a proud Nationalist.

> Friend refers to her being lonely.

> goingforthegold.jpg

> Doing work around her house outside, because I'm handy af.

> While taking a break, we get into a discussion about politics.

> We both agree with each other on everything.

> fuckyeah.jpg

> I bring up how there are so many beta males who don't know how to take care of a woman.

> She legitimately asks me if I'm an alpha.

> I say yes.

> Get onto conversation about memes.

> She loves Sup Forums

> hellyes.jpg

> She sits down next to me, with her hand somewhat near my balls.

> I realize this is my time.

> She's short and I'm tall, so I'm able to pick her up and bring her to her bedroom.

> She's definitely into it.

> Not expecting much from a housewife, until she literally starts almost ripping the balls out of my pants.

> After only several minutes, I'm legitimately fucking the living shit out of her.

> She must have lots of sexual energy built up, as he fucked for way longer than I expected.

> Writing this as she sleeps next to me, with her ass still up against my dick.

That's right, politics and memes got me laid. Never give up on your dreams folks, Kek.

So you banged a degenerate whore the day you met her?
kys

reggit go away.

>>> /lit/

Sage in the options field

>reddit spacing

Fucking lel user. Degenerate whore? She hadn't gotten fucked in literally years. She's divorced.

She's a hot nationalist chick who likes memes. Damn right I'm gonna' fuck her brains out. Kek

fpbp

So you fucked the mom of someone you have been friends with all your life.

Some friend you are.

>''yes, I'll take one bag of things that didn't happen please''

pics or it didn't happen

None of this ever happened.

take pic of her ass

This.

Nice meme!

Pics or it didn't happen, neckbeard

Fake and gay

Lets see that chubby nationalist ass user

Pics or it didn't happen

this, i had the same thing happen to me and im mad as fuck.

>Things that never happened: The Post

>banging the mother of your friend
>cool

fuck off degenerate scumbag

you got raped user

Kill yourself you fucking faggot

>Writing this as she sleeps next to me, with her ass still up against my dick.

And yet you didn't post a pic of this thicc milf?

>Are you an alpha?
>yes
Kek, you're a virgin aren't you?

as long as said friend doesnt find out whats the harm? and besides its better than a nigger right Sup Forums? unless of course..

so you fucked a MILF?

things that never happened

This

this

How to spot virgin larping:

> Friend refers to her being lonely.

who the fuck talks about their mom's romantic life with friends


> She legitimately asks me if I'm an alpha.
> I say yes.

this is worse than dialog in twilight. if she actually asked that it would be implied she is making fun of you.

> She loves Sup Forums

middle aged women don't browse anonymous neckbeard boards unless they have level 5 autism

> Writing this as she sleeps next to me, with her ass still up against my dick.

sleeping during the day time?


pretty good bait user-kun

Exactly. Redditfag is a virgin and a liar.

...

>no pic of ass or tits
kys

>if she actually asked that it would be implied she is making fun of you.
This is why i told him he got raped.

He was taken advantage of by a woman who thinks hes a joke. She was literally the alpha.

>>She legitimately asks me if I'm an alpha.
> I say yes.
> Get onto conversation about memes.

and then OP woke up

Freakin baesd dud!!!xd!!!!

LOL nationalism and le based dwamp

mag amerga gret agian so alfa dude hahahahaha

>She asks if I'm alpha
>I say yes
>Get into a conversation about memes

I fucking died

hahahaha ^^

yet obviously it is

It was real... in my mind

>reddit spacing

> 100000% this happened

So this didn't happen

> Be me.
More like "Be Redditor"
> Friend refers to her being lonely.
"Man, if only there was someone who could fuck my mom, amirite dude??"
> We both agree with each other on everything.
Women don't fuck dudes who agree with everything they say
> I bring up how there are so many beta males who don't know how to take care of a woman.
How to sound desperate 101.
> She legitimately asks me if I'm an alpha.
If you were actually alpha, she wouldn't need to ask
> Get onto conversation about memes.
So you went from talking about how you're an alpha who knows how to take care of a woman to talking about memes. How autistic of you.
> She loves Sup Forums
So she'll probably post a timestamp in this thread and notarize your story, rite?
> She's short and I'm tall, so I'm able to pick her up and bring her to her bedroom.
You should be able to pick her up even if she was a full grown alpha male, you spaghetti armed beta cuck.
> She's definitely into it.
Like you'd have to tell us she was into it if she let you carry her all the way to her bedroom without pepper spraying you.
>he fucked for way longer than I expected.
Accurate Freudian slip?
> Not expecting much from a housewife, until she literally starts almost ripping the balls out of my pants.
Do you really think a housewife with a grown child hasn't fucked before??
> After only several minutes, I'm legitimately fucking the living shit out of her.
Right, so you skipped all of the foreplay and went straight to fucking her so hard she died and all of her poop came out.
> Writing this as she sleeps next to me, with her ass still up against my dick.
What sort of awkward ass position do you want us to believe you're spooning in? Somehow her ass is up against your dick, but you're in the position to be posting on Sup Forums? And why didn't you take a picture? You know how this place operates...Pics or it didn't happen.
>That's right, politics and memes got me laid.
When being an alpha couldn't? Stop larping.