CDN Morning News: Petty Thief-ada Edition

It's another day in Ca-nah-der, and another day of news.
With your host: Lazurus Leaf
With regular thread guests:
Britbro
Archievebot
Commie Flag Guy with Good Bantz

Canadian is so poor, he robs grocery story/smoke shop

>Man robs grocery store smoke shop, then hops into a cab: Halifax police

metronews.ca/news/halifax/2017/07/08/man-robs-grocery-store-smoke-shop-halifax-.html

Other urls found in this thread:

metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/08/president-trump-praises-canada-pm-trudeau-at-g20-women-s-event.html
metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/08/omar-khadr-and-an-exercise-in-changing-minds-delacourt.html
metronews.ca/news/halifax/2017/07/07/missing-sackville-woman-found-dead.html
metronews.ca/news/vancouver/2017/07/09/not-let-up-likely-for-crews-battling-wildfires-raging-in-b-c-interior.html
cbc.ca/passionateeye/episodes/the-gun-shop
archive.is/h7R7Q
cbc.ca/news/business
cbc.ca/news/technology/university-alberta-deep-mind-google-artificial-intelligence-1.4195944
cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/lethbridge-convenience-store-robbery-1.4196567
cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/palliative-care-paul-adams-ottawa-1.4191049
cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/bc-wildfires-1.4196204
cbc.ca/news/politics/2016-census-age-gender-1.4095360
archive.is/Tp6xF
cbc.ca/news/business/statistics-canada-seniors-1.3248295
archive.is/i3qW1
cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/mental-wellness-loft-in-leslieville-is-being-forced-out-by-its-landlord-1.4195347
cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/memorial-germany-lancaster-goose-squadron-1.4195080
cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/jasper-jobs-tourism-national-parks-1.4195824
cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/mother-child-alone-vehicle-edmonton-callingwood-1.4196710
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Somehow they got to Trump............

>President Trump praises Canada, PM Trudeau at G20 women's event

metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/08/president-trump-praises-canada-pm-trudeau-at-g20-women-s-event.html

>HAMBURG — U.S. President Donald Trump called Canada a great neighbour and said Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is doing a spectacular job

Ya fucking WHAT????

Lost all faith in Trump and America.................

I can't even..................

>Omar Khadr and an exercise in changing minds:

metronews.ca/news/canada/2017/07/08/omar-khadr-and-an-exercise-in-changing-minds-delacourt.html

This is Canadian as FUCK
>One argument that had a lot of sway was the “could-have-been-worse” scenario; the idea that Canada could have ended up paying more than $10-million at the end of a protracted court battle


DARRRRR, It could be worse eh?????

>President Trump praises Canada, PM Trudeau

5d tic-tac-toe... Watch the US media now try to prove Trump wrong and expose the leaf in chief for the beorgoisie quality of life destroyer that he is

Oh ya, the article is nothing but word garbage. Some bitch talking a lot, but saying nothing.

Hate people who just over talk, over explain shit, so they can continue being the center of attention.
Like something simply turns into a 10 minute speech.

And then what???
Americans don't care about Canada or Canadians......
What will that accomplish, here in Canada?

>And then what???
you're right they don't care. the us media have no end goal beyond clicks and views. nonetheless in the end that will help you, or at least prolong your suffering.

Another Leaffete found dead!!!

>Missing Sackville woman found dead

metronews.ca/news/halifax/2017/07/07/missing-sackville-woman-found-dead.html


Imma start killing Canadian cunts if they don't learn some fucking manners. I'm so tired of putting some dumb bitch on blast cause she's acting like a loser.

Immaabout to choke a bitch a out
Shut up you stupid cunts.

Go to work last night in a fresh as fuck, new outfit, all the girls at work love it, except 1. Some dumb mouthy bitch,
>LAWLZ OMG What are you wearing??
>LALWZ WTF ???? LAWLZ

Are you retarded or something bitch?? I could take you outside and twist you into a pretzel. Where in the fuck, do you get off talking like that??
If looks could kill bud. Those bitches now when they crossed me.

Not bragging, just an example of dumb Canadian bitches.


Another new girl, tried to take a dig at me, inf front of my favorite.
The fuck is wrong with you bitches?? Insulting me who can beat the shit out of you ins't a good idea. She got sorted right the fuck out quick.
Don't ever try and make me look bad in front of the other girls, cause you're an insecure cunt.

*insulting men who can beat the shit out of you

British Colombia?? More like BURNT Colombia!!
Am I right??
HAW HAW
>Thousands evacuate as wildfires rage across B.C.'s central interior

metronews.ca/news/vancouver/2017/07/09/not-let-up-likely-for-crews-battling-wildfires-raging-in-b-c-interior.html

Put the fire out already bud

>at least prolong your suffering.

Hooray

I seriously wish we could be strapped in this country.
Surprised CBC put such a positive view on personal firearm ownership


cbc.ca/passionateeye/episodes/the-gun-shop

Again, last night at work, some big fat ass sitting in the VIP asks me to do something
>Sure bud, pay me
Guys flips out! "You don't know who I am??!!"
>No, should I?
"I'm getting the other manager!! He's gonna tell you to do it!"
>K bud, you go do that

Turns out buddy is biker connected.
Wear your fucking patches then bud. I donno who the fuck you are.

I woullda put my piece in his face if I had one. Fuck you and your ego.

I wish I could carry a fucking gun in this country.

Please archive those archive.is/h7R7Q

>U.S. President Donald Trump called Canada a great neighbour and said Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is doing a spectacular job
Watch the left wing media either ignore this or defend it.

>111

Appropriated...You should be glad.

Cheeze em

Open carry that shit 24/7.
Canada is the frozen wild west.

Pack your heater, it's cold outside.

Is Trump braindead or something?? That's what I wanna know.

I'd be glad if I was strapped. Or American. Or American and strapped cause it's my RIGHT as an American to protect myself from scumbags with illegal guns.

The world, has NEVER been a "safe" place. Everyone has carried a weapon on them until like the 1900s.
Victorian era, everyone had a strap or blade.
Rich guys would spend big money for custom dueling guns and shit.
They use to have duels!!
>You offended my honor. I challenge you to a duel at dawn
Motherfuck be dead if you Qucikdraw McGraw

the rcmp is usng their new diverse workforce to creep internet forums for gun owners.

cbc.ca/news/business

Look at the CDN dollar, says 77cents USD

Except last night, I bought a pack of smokes cause my NativeSmoke guy was out of town, cost me 10 fucking dollars. A day earlier, they cost me 2 dollars less.

They're lying about how much our money is worth.
I paid more, to make up the difference.

You light it on fire and then throw it out, why the fuck am I paying 10 dollars to do that??

Cool, I'm not a gun owner. I have no idea where to purchase a gun, how to properly handle and fire one.
RCMP can lurk here all they want. When posting news stories from Canadian media is illegal, then I'll shit myself.

>When posting news stories from Canadian media is illegal, then I'll shit myself.

if the government considers you a journalist or acting in that capacity they can spy on you legally. ...such things would never happen in a Soviet Paradise.

Dumb as F AI

>In Edmonton, companies find a humble hub for artificial intelligence

cbc.ca/news/technology/university-alberta-deep-mind-google-artificial-intelligence-1.4195944

Dumbest fucking AI ever if Canadians are making it.

Nope, I'm not a journalist or acting like one.
This is morning comedy satire thread.
Comedians aren't journalist.

Ya, seen several news stories over the years of journalists being raided.

Comedian, not a journalist. Im not looking for "hot scoop news story"

Rob that 7-11 dawg. Get those lottery tickets and smokes eh??

>Lethbridge 7-Eleven robbed, clerk hit with bear spray


cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/lethbridge-convenience-store-robbery-1.4196567


Petty Theft-ada

Wahhhhh, your feelings

>'A terrible shock': Man whose wife died calls for increased access to palliative care

cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/palliative-care-paul-adams-ottawa-1.4191049

Why do they keep writing huge articles on nobodies?
I don't know your wife, or you. I don't give a fuck she died. I don't give a fuck what you went through either.
Why should I fucking care??
No one cares about me, why the fuck should I care about some handpicked Boomer faggot, who lost his wife??

GOOD RIDDANCE

Burn it down-ada

>We are in this for the long haul': No relief in sight as B.C. wildfires rage

cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/bc-wildfires-1.4196204

i swear i read something about socialized heroin n canada too. a literal opiate for the masses, astounding. is there anything socialism cannot accomplish.

HOLY CRAP!! As if I haven't told this story yet

K, so where I work, there is sports bar next door and we get staff discounts. One night I went for chicken wings and the bartender has bandage on his arm.
Story is, some bum ass came in, ordered a drink and then tried to leave without paying. So buddy bartender ran after him and grabbed him outside. The guy who didn't pay, turned around and BIT HIM.
Like zombie style. BIT the fucking guy! Over a 6 dollar beer!!!!!!!


LOL WTF

Seriously wish I could be strapped in this country of psychos.

Ya I posted it. They want to prescribe heroin to stop the deaths or something.

DAILY REMINDER; More than Half of ALL Canadians will be dead in 40-50 years.

>Canadian seniors now outnumber children for 1st time, 2016 census shows

cbc.ca/news/politics/2016-census-age-gender-1.4095360
archive.is/Tp6xF

>More Canadians are 65 and over than under age 15, StatsCan says

cbc.ca/news/business/statistics-canada-seniors-1.3248295
archive.is/i3qW1

Stop putting money into rental spaces you fucking retards.
>Mental Wellness Loft in Leslieville is being forced out by its landlord

cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/mental-wellness-loft-in-leslieville-is-being-forced-out-by-its-landlord-1.4195347

>Marshall's husband Jason renovated the stark white space on Carlaw Avenue himself. He started by building a stage (a must-have for his performer wife) with a lighting grid and sound system. Next was a bathroom and kitchen so the two of them could live there comfortably. Overall they spent $25,000 remodeling the space.

Where the fuck, does some PTSD shut in, get that kind of money??
Disability payments must be tops in Canada or something.

Also you dumb cunt, the landlord owns the building, not you. He can rent to whoever the fuck he wants.
>WAHHHH MY FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shut the fuck up

No idea what happened, it's a huge news story of useless information and feelings, written by a stupid woman

>Somebody's thinking about these boys': New memorial in German town to honour doomed RCAF bomber crew

cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/memorial-germany-lancaster-goose-squadron-1.4195080

Get to the point cunt. Blah blah blah,

Huge article, does not explain what happened. Or I got tired of trying to find out and stopped looking.

Also, they had color photos back in WW2. The photo of 4 canadians in black in white looks dated as fuck.
Like they used the first camera ever invented to take that pic.

Women need to stop talking.

Again, work story, some girl went on for like 5 minutes about french fries and poutine to another girl who asked her, how the poutine is at work
>Like, ya know, like I hate french fries right? like,Im like, super picky rifght?? Like, I don't like eat fries, like ever.

You get the drift........................

I heard you are allowed to appropriate by deception sums up to $2600 in canada before it becomes a criminal matter and. so long as it is below that it remains a civil matter. the beorgoisie say these laws are the basis for a sound economy.

Or go for broke and steal billions like Dalton McGuinty and Kathlynn Wynne have done.
No criminal charges.

Come work for us!! We won't pay you much and the rent is sky high!!

>Jasper businesses beg for workers as tourists flood into mountain paradise

cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/jasper-jobs-tourism-national-parks-1.4195824

>For generations Jasper has been a summer haven for university students, not just from Canada but around the world.

>We didn't get a lot of applicants from different university types. Usually that's what supplements our staff, our core staff for the summer," notes Wasuita. No one can pinpoint the reason.

>But among possible explanations are low wages and lack of affordable accommodation.

Watching your baby, not a thing for Canadian "mothers"
>Mother charged for leaving toddler alone in vehicle at Edmonton mall

cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/mother-child-alone-vehicle-edmonton-callingwood-1.4196710

>Two days after a mother was charged for leaving her infant alone in a hot vehicle in a northeast Edmonton parking lot, another woman was charged for doing the same thing.

I posted an article the other day of moms complaining about sunscreen, cause they put some on, then forgot about baby like a slow roast (literally)

Are people retarded?? How did the human race survive so long?? Or get this big.
Like humans are dumb as fuck.
Mindless programmable automatons if what I think of humans.
I feel like an alien..................Who are you people?? Why are you all sooo dumb??

>tfw you'll be dead in 40-50 years

getting old sucks

Can't it be sooner?? Please?? Like come on!!
It's not like we're living in America, with shit to do......
Canadians are pleased as punch to walk the same tired little circle for 60 years or so.

Like 3 fucking amusement parks in the whole country.
USA has shit tons.
Water parks.
VEGAS
Go surfing in California
So much shit to do. Americans love doing stuff. They're awesome.

FUCK I wish I was American...............

These mother fuckers needed some guy from TRINIDAD to throw their first "Canada Day Parade" and hated him for trying.

Don't do stuff in Canada, and don't try either. They hate it. Unless it's some American craze that Canadians need to jump in on. Like "food trucks" and shitty fag restaurants by hipsters.

bump....

metro news is Satan

I'm out for today. Feel free to keep the thread going.

Wish I was an American.................


Just remember:
>Pack your Steel, Guard your Grill