AVOID (((SUICIDE)))

Sign up for cryonic freezing today.

> $40/month life insurance policy
> pays weird normies to stand by to rush-freeze your still-warm corpse
> replace your blood with antifreeze, dunk your corpse into liquid nitrogen, then place frozen corpse in liquid nitrogen tank with dozens of other corpses
> wait for ayy lmao tier tech invention
> get reanimated and restored to youth

Benefits:
1. waifus from the future
2. mentally (((healthy))) people hate it
3. proof that you are NOT suicidal and in fact would never, ever even consider shooting yourself five times in the back of the head right before testifying against (((them)))

Why are there spiders in people's kidneys?

downside: cryonic freezing is popular with Jews

anonymous 5's latest weapon

How would that be broof that you aren't suicidal?

>replace your blood with antifreeze
Which doesn't do shit because the water in your cells stay there and they freeze and destroy your cells when it's below 0 C. Then you're literally dead meat. I can't believe people fall for this scam.

Where do you think spiders come from user?
You dont think they just crawl in though cracks of your house or something do you? Do you even have spider sized cracks in your house?

go watch the episode of south park about the nintendo wii.
Even when they get the tech to unfreeze all of these people, nobody is going to be unfrozen because noone wants a shit ton of refugees from the past walking around not knowing how anything works and acting like boomers 24/7

But at least the spiders are also dead

> want to kill self
> pay $40/month to ensure self is not kill

So it stands to reason if I get cremated I can go to the past. Do I have that right?

Normies get out REEEEEEEEEE

what is permeability across a cell membrane raising intracellular levels antifreeze?

go back to /r9k/ faggot

go back to Mississippi, brainlet.

>guiding principals
>black women
how the fuck is a black woman a guiding principal?

I've got to go to work so I'm going to drop a quick redpill on you if you are even slightly religious.

The body survives freezing, but do you think the soul does?

No, the soul leaves the body.
The soul needs a vessel, and that is why the illuminati do such horrible things to children, it is the kick the soul out and let a demon in.
When your vessel is unfrozen, you will be somewhere else, and that body will be inhabited by a demon.

don't fuck around with life and death, if you aren't willing to die you will not get another body and you will be stuck in limbo.

>be reanimated corpse for some future sci-fi super villain's army
no thanks

because BLM (black lives matter) is a front for George Soros who is a front for the 13 Families.

God Bless Dixie Land.

mfw waifus from the future

Spooky.

Seems like the only way is slow migration. Slowly replacing the body including slowly replacing the brain's functions.

Or just creating immortality legit lol.

> The body survives freezing, but do you think the soul does?

Where does the soul go during sleep?

Where does the soul go when (in accordance with Quantum Mechanics) my awareness goes into one of two possible universes?

Please dump sauce on the soul.

Also where do you work at this hour?

mfw this looks like a young Clinton and Podesta.

Where do I get paid not to kill myself.

>get awoken in the future
>everyone is brown and has no gender
>world has been united and all culture I knew and love is gone
>everyone looks at Trumps America like it was the 4th Reich, I get spit on everywhere I go
>immediately get drafted to fight aliens on a distance planet
>I'm an outsider because I have no idea wtf I am doing and don't understand their weird language (it has no genders assigned)
>land on enemy planet
>bugs, just like starship troopers
>tfw I am from Buenos Aires
>tfw I say kill them all

I chuckled

I'm about to overload muh aggression inhibitors.

banp