Veterans of pol, tell us a war story

It doesn't have to be hardcore. Tell us an amusing tale of negro or female ineptitude, perhaps. Family war stories from when grandpa killed the nips are welcome here too.

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My grandfather was in the military. Don't really know the details, but he was a Sergeant or something, I believe. Anyway, one night he got really bored and decided to grab a big old box of blank ammunition, climb onto the roof of the officers' mess all where some important British and Australian officers were having a dinner, and drop the box straight down through one of the windows in the roof. The box went off, he was caught and demoted, then discharged later. An Australian hero.

My father later did something similar in the Cadets, and had an incident where he panicked and shot an officer Cadet in the ass with a blank round or something during an exercise.

Scaled Pointe du Hoc on a rope ladder with a knife between my teeth and killed me a bunch of Krauts in Call of Duty 2

Bump.

Sup Forums is become death. Destroyer of libfags.

>where he panicked and shot an officer Cadet in the ass with a blank round or something during an exercise.
How do you panic during an exercise?

Great grandfather killed some nazis and raped some german teenagers. Not much desu. Other great grandpa survived okinawa and guadalcanal

Apparently they were doing some kind of exercise where they were meant to be simulating a battle, and were given blanks in their rifles because this was back in the sixties or something. He sneaked up behind an older young man who was an officer, screamed "SURRENDER" and fired his gun accidentally in the panic and excitement of actually capturing an officer. The officer, having been shot in the ass, stood up and bolted off into the distance. My uncle who was also in the Cadets confirmed this story, but it should be taken with a grain of salt.

Grandpa was in Vietnam. They kept getting harassed by VC from the nearby village. Commanding officer got pissed off and they went into this village and killed everybody in it. I mean literally, everybody.

After that, people from nearby villages heard about it and were quick to point out the VC so they wouldn't be fucking slaughtered.

Also, they were ordered to bury some 200 dead VC one time or some ridiculous amount of enemy dead. The company CO was not having that, so they literally blew them to mist with C4 or some other explosive.

They also had a skull of a NVA soldier on the front of one of their APC's.

I've never been in the military but someone shot at my truck while I was delivering amazon packages and I quit. I didn't even know they were shooting at me specifically until one of the bullets hit the rear end of my car as I was driving away.

I never even told anyone I worked with about it, I just quit

These threads can get really good. Tell us about the time you killed all those Iraqis and fucked their kids, user.

hooktube.com/watch?v=qnNsTIex_pc

I fight to show the world that Most Jewish/Christian/Muslim people are not Warmongers, Just normal people.


I gain nothing.

Grandfather was in ww2, Air Force (but what is was called when it was the Army). Captured an Italian baretta pistol and brought it back. I shot it last year.

Not the best story but it's all I got.

I dont want to know about the kids but a good hadji kill story is pretty good.

The most crazy shit from the Vietnam war had to be the tunnel rats, those guys who climbed down into tunnels with a .45 and a flashlight to clear out the gooks. Sometimes they would climb down onto a shit smeared punjee pit. Sometimes they would boobytrap them with grenades and scorpions and shit. You would have to have your goddamn balls screwed on pretty tight to go down in one of those gook holes.

My grandpa is the reason I did not think Gook was a racial slur til literally 2 years ago, and I'm 18, Army ROTC cadet in college. I do come from rural Tennessee and not too many people use it besides Vietnam vets, so, in my defense, it's just what I know now. Just like I didn't know nigger was a racial slur til I was 9.

I hit IED's three separate times in Mosul circa 2005 while driving.

Was picking my nose in the back of a striker when the vehicle in front of us hit a 500kg aircraft bomb in the back of a pickup. I got a bloody nose from jamming my finger up there but everyone else thought it was the blast pressure.

I was here during Romney vs Obama.

Sup Forums was a bastion of free speech and open discourse then. Now it's only partisan camps and shitposting.

I miss 2012-2013 Sup Forums, I miss a lot of 2012 boards.

Couldn't they just flame thrower gook tunnels and burn up oxygen or some shit

I saw an afghani who thought he was a jingle truck:
>wake up on stairs, start making diesel sounds, walk around village making truck sounds, park on stairs, lay down and sleep, repeat.

Such illustrious stock you descend from.

Because Chair Force pogues don't do anything cool or manly unless they are Pilots. or now, para-rescue or combat controllers. Security forces don't do shit. The Army or Marine Corps is the right of passage to manhood to the American male.

>be me, young kid
>uncle joe had a few too many beers
>drunk, jabbering about gooks
>mom, what's a gook
>nothing son
>gottafuckingknow.jpg
>school next day
>ask teacher, Mrs. Whatever, what's a gook
>few kids snicker, teacher flips shit
>GO TO OFFICE NOW
>shit, wasn't even racist yet
>send me home with a note
>mom literally facepalms in exasperation

That's actually a pretty cool story, user.

>the zim zam trial was peak Sup Forums

I remember some guy who had a nervous break down and was autistically telling everyone he knew to arm them selves and be ready for a chimp out of which had never been seen.

When nothing happened I think he quit Sup Forums

eh it was a prison colony

IDK mane that's just how they did it. I think they did explode them sometimes but idk, might have been after they clear them. I heard Afghanistan has tunnels too. I think they were old irrigation tunnels or some bullshit like that.

Surprised there isn't more of that considering they all breed with their cousins.

There's more, actually. My brother was in the Cadets when I was a young boy (he really didn't want to be) and was kicked out because he punched an older boy who was the son of one of the organising adults in charge of the whole thing, and he refused to apologise. Apparently the older boy was being a snobby little shit because his daddy was in charge, and my brother got mad and hit him in the face.

I applied for the Army but was rejected because of a congenital defect. Shame, woulda liked to have followed in the footsteps of my grandfather, great-grandfather, and great-great-grandfather.

When my dad was in nam during basic they gathered all the whites in a room and told them they had to give pfc to one of the niggers.
Times havent changed much

>beretta pistol

He should mail it back to the italian army with a note saying "this is why you lost ww2"

Sucks.

I wish they accepted people with autism .

More to do with the fact Italians just suck massive shit at fighting wars.

I wish it was autism. It's actually a lot more serious than that and will probably kill me nice and early.

My granddad was English and served with the Royal Navy on a submarine in the Indian ocean during World War Two. He saw some other sailor get a letter from his girlfriend back home telling him that he'd been literally cucked. The poor guy tried to drown himself, and the captain wasn't stopping for his sake, so he was just left there in open water... but according to my granddad he heard later another Royal Navy boat had come along behind by chance and picked that idiot up, so he lived.

...

Look at this way, if the congenital defect wouldn't have gotten you the deadly wildlife of Australia would. Either way you're fucked. So take some comfort in that.

Friend of my dad's was in Nam. He was in charge of setting charges in the event that VC tried to sneak into camp at night. He would set charges all around the camp facing outward and if he heard the zips he was to detonate the charges and blast them away. Well one night he sets the charges and he hears something in the jungle. He isn't sure what is going on but he comes very close to detonating his charges, but doesn't. When morning comes the troops go around to gather the explosives and find that they have all been turned and pointed inward toward the camp. If he would have detonated them, he and all of his fellow soldiers would have probably been killed.

great grand father was in WWII

Purple Heart

Took shrapnel to his back, barely missed his spine, had to shit out of a bag for a while after that

Said in one fight he saw a german tank run over a foxhole with some boys in it or some shit about them drowning under the mud

Got to hold his side piece one day when I was like 7,.. my mom did not approve

My piece of shit uncle inherited it when he died and sold it...

IDK what kind of gun it was, was the first gun I ever held. He sat in a recliner all day with a little side desk to him all day every day. One of my last visits with him he just opens the drawer and pulls out his fucking gun and hands it to me. It was heavier than I expected. I was so shocked I had no idea what to do it was so fucking cool. I was holding a weapon that may have legitimately been used to kill people before.

>be running PSD for certain folk
>meet with X militants in X neighborhood in Iraq.
>offer them gibz in exchange for turning on their friends or at least stop killing us.
>meeting ends in screaming and telling us we'd die if we step foot in this town again.


cont?

Never kill yourself over a heartless cheating shedevil rapscallion, user.

>Truck rolls up full of rucks and duffels
>form 2 straight chains and start downloading bags
>not everyone was needed so a few guys just gaggle around
>high speed NCO sees us
>"what the fuck is this grab ass game you pieces of shit better snake that chain!"
>Form 1 line of dudes weaving back and forth so literally everyone touched every bag on the way to the staging area.

I take comfort in knowing I had a chance to live in the greatest nation on Earth while it was still mostly white.

>. It's actually a lot more serious than that and will probably kill me nice and early.
Maybe that is a blessing.

Not gonna lie, I was using too much Twitter and a couple of other message boards that were pretty toxic back then and I was scared to death that was going to happen. I had let myself of too deep into that angry rabbit hole. But even some Florida sheriffs told the fed they were worried about massive civil unrest so I thought I was right to be worried.

I live in a town that just over half black and I was in a panic when the court clerk said "NOT GUILTY" and Zimmerman blinked. My housemate and her boyfriend were cheering the verdict and I was sperging out locking doors & windows in a panic. The South Park episode in which Carman thought there would be a black apocalypse nailed me to the T.

Sure, but what the fuck is PSD? And what kind of gibbs?

on that same now
>gpa fought in korea
>live in area with huge korean influx
>gpa fucking hates gooks
>driving around town, all bad drivers he calls gooks, when they are a gook he says "SEE? FUCKIN TOLD YA. COULDN'T FLY PLANES THEN, CAN'T DRIVE CARS NOW."
he was in the chair force, used to be a navigator on large bombers, don't know what, he died before I thought to ask more (imagine that, current chair force fags)
anyway
>start to think its a funny word
>start calling koreans at school gooks
>we don't know what it means and neither do they
>koreans calling each other gooks, my white friends calling them gooks, was a good time
>finally in gym glass, 9 year old me has awesome idea
>"Ms. gym teacher, how about gooks vs. all?"
>"what did you just say?
>"how about gooks vs. all?"
>takes me to principal, get yelled at
>even after I stop doing it everybody is still calling koreans, including other koreans, gook
>teachers had to sit my entire grade down (4 classes of 25) and tell everybody gook is a mean word
I literally spread that to the whole class, looking back on it it's fucking hilarious. Thanks grandpa. Wish I care more to ask about your life before you died.

Great grandpa fought in the first World War. He got shot through the mouth and was laying in no man's land for three days until one of his comrades got him. Got a purple heart. One of my granduncles got shot and killed in the Philippines by a Jap hiding in the trees.

My grandad didn't fight in the war, He was a farmer and had exemptions from the draft

My second grandad worked around the system

Italy small arms were one of the few things they were competent in during the war. They were incompetent at absolutely everything else.
also
>small arms win wars
>fucking pistols win wars

I knew a Seabee that was in Nam with the same story. They detonated one as the the enemy sapper was tampering with it.

I have no idea, but it could have been a 1911. Those old original ones are heavy as hell. Great guns. Did it perhaps resemble pic related?

Two uncles in Europe. They landed on D-Day. Both survived.
But one had a MG-42 machine gun burst tear through his winter jacket and kill his buddy right beside him.
I'm told he was never the same.
Another uncle was a tank commander in the Marines in the Pacific, had two tanks shot out from under him on Okinawa on the same day.
My dad went through boot camp and was discharged (youngest brother of 4), immediately joined the merchant marine, saw other merchant ships hit by Japanese torpedos in the South Pacific.

...

Protective Security Detail.

>big boss ass general coming to visit the COP.
>CO is trying to fit his tongue all the way up that ass
>Has whole company gear up to police call outside the wire
>areyoufuckingkiddingme.jpg
>spend 2 days walking on line police calling piss bottles and dip spitters that accumulated over a decade outside various guard towers
>big boss ass general cancels meeting

i almost joined the air force once

Was it a colt 1911? Google it

My grandpa fought in the Forgotten War as it has formally come to be named
He was a motor launcher armed with a m1 garand.
He got a lot of awards yet I never really looked at them.
Apparently he was a Sarg. but lost his rank due to him fucking around with the cadets.
Such as, 100 push ups in 5 minutes or else you're going to be hounded by DIs. He never did tell me war stories though, I could tell his time there was tragic. But he does have an entire book about his adventures there. He recorded everyday specifically what time its awesome. One day I will read that to full length .

Clever bastards.
But if they were really smart, they would have made a bunch of noise after they were turned instead of just sneaking away. I mean wtf, they had a perfect opportunity.

They constructed them in a way that you couldnt do that, e.g. Via sinks filled with water, similar to how a syphon works in your bathroom. You had sometimes to dive for 5-10 secs. That worked like a blast door and terminated pressure/fire

> Tell us an amusing tale of negro or female ineptitude, perhaps.

You'll enjoy this one

>Mulatto
>Join Navy because it's become a family tradition.
>In boot camp, and it's swim qualification day.
>I get really sick right after breakfast and throw up a bunch
>Ask to go to infirmary
>My Chief thinks I'm trying to get out of the swim test and doesn't let me go until I almost yak in his trash can
>Fast forward one week
>Go to make-up swim test for failures and absentees
>Literally everyone there is black
>Extra safety swimmers are in the water because nigs are such garbage swimmers
>My turn
>Jump off of the 10 foot platform, push off the bottom to the surface, and start swimming to the other end of the pool.
>All the other niggers taking the test make me look like Michael Phelps.
>Actually manage to pass a dude who started in my lane before me.

It's crazy how many niggers join the Navy of all of branches and have no clue how to swim.

This board inspired me to start saying nigger a lot more and sharing my hatred of the Jews. Literally nobody cared because everybody already hates niggers and Jews in Australia.
I got some blowback on the Gook offensive from five foot tall girls at Uni though so I quietly shelved that one.
Got a ton of support for telling everybody that transexuality is just a dick chopping scam created by the Jews to abuse White children.
Becoming a NatSoc is probably the best thing that ever happened to me. Suddenly I am edgy as fuck.
Also now that I treat girls with disdain they seem a lot more interested in me.
Thanks Sup Forums
You were right again.

>gooks vs all

Yeah, that is basically what he said. He basically wondered why they never raised hell while they had the chance. He said he never understood why they just walked away, but was obviously always extremely grateful they did.

that's it

just looked like a big hunk of metal, had a slight glimmer even in the dimly lit living room , and it was big... I nearly dropped it after he let go and 7 year old me was trying to hold it

I put a SMAW HEDP warhead into this guys' firing position from about 200-250 meters. The dumbass let out like a 50 round spray from his RPK at my patrols maneuver element while I was already in the support-by-fire position with a rocket loaded and ready. He was shooting through a hole punched in a mud wall so the gasses following the bullet out of the barrel blew a bunch of dirt and debris out of the hole as well. It made locating his position super easy as you could clearly see a stream of dirt being blown out of a wall.

I was heading to the chow hall when it got hit by a suicide bomber. Had I been 5 minutes earlier I would have been right there at the end of the line where the guy blew up.

Rest in pieces, fat man. He had a lotta guts.

Top kek. Thank you. Is he afghan, iraqi or what? So fucking funny.

Swimming is something pretty damn recent to be honest, before ATLEAST the 18th century, very few people, even among sailors, knew how to swim.

my grand pappy serviced planes as a mechanic during the early days of vietnam

>get blown up in a vehicle
>medevacced to BAF
>cut all my clothes off
>discharged from hospital after 3 days
>have no clothes at all
>LNO doesn't get me clothes because she's a retarded negress
>Steal a couple of track suits from an unlocked closet
>beg for cigarettes on route Disney until travel is arranged back to my unit
>get wife to wire me $500
>spend it all on cigarettes and dip
>return to unit in a track suit with nothing but a garbage bag full of tobacco.

Imagine if you were in that situation. He was drafted, so he didn't even volunteer to be there in the first place fighting a stupid war that didn't even need to be fought, and shouldn't have been. A war where there is no clear battle line, and no true directive. A war that can't be won. Sounds hellish to me.

...

My sides. Glad you lived user

My best friend's dad was in the Army during Vietnam and told me some stories over beers sometimes. Highlights include:

>Doing any drug he could get his hands on, and being high for most of his deployment.
>A guy in a town near base basically whoring out his daughter in the hopes of getting her a green card marriage.
>A Lieutenant stopping a patrol so that he could shoot up heroin

...

Sorry, it's a Protective Security Detail.

Gibz was cash.


cont.
>load up inna humvees and suburbans.
>before we leave militia dude walks up to me
>smells like garbage
>smiles his brown teeth at me as he makes the throat cutting gesture.
>no heavy weapons, because raisins. Humvee turret manned by a dude with M4 and SAW
>snap unfriendly rally being held on green route
>take alternate that parallels a bad neighborhood controlled by militia leader.
>get bad feeling.
>see several dudes run out into the street with RPKs and an RPG.
>First thought was to notify my team
>Not what I said
>Scream "Oh shit" instead
>watch Johny Jihad send his RPG screaming by the convoy and explode on a building.
>vehicle in front of mine swerves left hard, hits median, jumps it and high centers it on the median.
>vehicle is down.
>open my door and greeted with crescendo of gunfire.
>grab my mk18 and start making my way to the rear of the vehicle.
>See Hadji duck into a room of the corner building on the road intersecting with ours.
>see more movement.
>lean out and start firing at the guy in the window.
>Attract fire from two other hadjis. Rounds skipping off the road and smashing into the concrete median.
>plain clothes dudes are belching out of the high centered vehicle like ants, scurrying through cover to the nearest vehicle with a clear seat
>VIP car and HUMVEE were fucking gone from the get go.
>Finally get the greenlight that crossload is complete.
>run back to my vehicle and dive into the trunk.
>wrecked vehicle gets a thermite goodbye.
>peel out and run away like a good goy.

pretty sure I shot two of em.

>Iraq, Muthanna Province
>At a small outpost with in local Iraqi Police
>Smells like ass 24/7
>Haven't had a normal meal in 5 month when I went on leave
>Buddy Specialist buys a chicken from the market
>Dude fucken really?
>Yeah, we are going to nuke the fuck out of this thing to avoid sickness but it's worth it
>Try to find a way to cook it
>I see our gunner passed out in a humvee
>Get an idea
>Grab platoon fatass (something like 350lbs+ fully kitted up) and have him gear up
>Explain to specialist buddy my plan
>Grab 4 padlocks
>Quietly place the locks to seal the humvee
>fuck with the chicken till it gets pissed
>chuck chicken in the humvee
>Chicken flips shit
>Gunner flips shit
>Fatass takes a seat on the gunner hatch
>SFC dies laughing as he watched the whole thing
>LT starts laughing
>Platoon gathers to watch the show

The chicken was delicious

Holy shit that's literally him? Looks like he definitely had a leg up on you. At least he was standing tall until the end. Now he knows how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot. Sweet beard though.

Afghani. It happened in Helmand province in 2010.

Space Corps veterans of pol, tell us a war story

My grandfather faught in WW2 and he brought back a bayonet he got off a dead Nazi and he bequeathed it to me. After the war he became and avid hunter. He had over 40 rifles and even devoted an entire room to his guns and repacking bullets. He also bequeathed to me a few of the guns. Fuckin kek.

Got 2. Awesome work. Fucking scum.

I don't even know what to say. Damn. Rarely does anything I see genuinely render me speechless anymore. RIP

Were you at Marjah? I was there. :^)

That's so strange. I can't imagine living near water and not figuring out how to swim, but I guess back before the 18th century people were too busy working and trying not to die.

They told me to be all that I could be... So I became a Slav.

Cool

Been at this for years and years. Doubt he'll be the last sand nigger I shoot and thanks.

>be new guy on first mission
>don't trust me enough to be on the assaulting element yet so they put me as the Stryker driver
>we infil and everyone gets out of the strykers and set in for the assault on a compound
>assault element starts taking fire from the target compound, then guy runs from there to a little shack close to my blocking position
>the Gustav gunner is at the farthest blocking position and this guy is still shooting at the assault element so our Stryker goes up so our fifty gunner and hit the shack
>remote weapon system jams
>Stryker commander comes on the radio
>user, do you want to get your first kill tonight?
>...yeah
>run over that fucking shack
>...ok
>run over the shack with 20 ton vehicle, crumples like pieces of paper
>the team that to clear the rubble said the guy saw the Stryker coming and tried to hide in a refrigerator to protect himself
>did not work out
>this was a little while after kingdom of the crystal skull had come out, be known for the rest of deployment as "the guy who killed Indiana Jones"
and that's how I killed my first person boys and girls

Combat engineer in afghanistan ~6 years ago.
Couple close calls with IEDs, one was hidden in a culvert and blew the entire paved road out, they just popped it a little too late as we drove over it

Saw a grunt step on one from a couple hundred meters out and lose both legs at the knee and all his fingers, we called a bird in and it got there quick as fuck and saved him. All his buddies were covered in his blood when they came back, it was sad.

Saw some haji fuck kid being carried to our doc tent that stepped on an ied (or he was planting it) who completely lost both legs and he bled everywhere, he had to have died

Had a couple rounds come within a foot or 2 of my head while in the turret. Sucks cause in real life its hard as fuck to tell where incoming fire is actually coming from. Had a mk19 in the gun and didn't light the compound i suspected up cause there were civilians everywhere and ROEs are shit and our CO didn't have our backs. Getting shot at is a pretty weird feeling.

afghanistan is a shithole

The real story of war.

My GrandDad was a truck driver on the eastern front in a division called GROSS-DEUTSCHLAND. Glad he survived the war but died around 60 when i was a toddler. Was a chain smoker, my dad (who propably heard some storys from him) used to tell me that Hitler was a criminal and stole my granddads best years.

I was in Iraq when the insurgency peaked around 2006 and things got really bad. We were deployed and it was fucking hot. War is scary, but waiting for war is scariest. I remember standing on post and hearing small arms fire from Baghdad, and I knew I would be sent there. I remember one day specifically when we were loading up in the convoy and three friends I knew very well and other men from my platoon. They had to many in the front humvee where my friends were and I had to go all the way to the rear humvee. We were driving through a shithole when an IED blew up the front hummer. There was nothing other than the IED. Everyone in the front hummer died. It didn't really hit me until I got back to the bunker and we started packing my friends shit up and mailing unsent letters after reading them that my friends were fucking dead. We were all just kids in a place we didn't understand sent here by the USMC for some reason, but my friends were dead. My platoon supported me and I made new friends, but it just wasn't the same. I snapped when I got home and got real angry at my parents and looking back on it I felt bad.

It might sound selfish but I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything, nor do I regret my decision. I was thought very valuable lessons by that war.

Stay safe friend. If you're going to stay be the best damn one out there

>Looks like he definitely had a leg up on you. At least he was standing tall until the end. Now he knows how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot.

I bet a lot of dudes in Afghanistan did heroin while they were over there. Fuck, I would.

>RWS jams
Disengage RWS and locking pins and clear the jam manually then free gun it....u dip

>be inna turret
>got like 3 packs of the finest pine lights American dollars can buy
>left my lighter back at base
>Driver also left his lighter
>others don't smoke
>All MREs already rat fucked for matches
>Jonesing hard after a couple of hours
>Stop for dismounted part of patrol
>Driver starts shaving bits of his survival fire starter off into a cigarette he's pinched between a radio mount
>steel and flint nigga
>have to maintain the cherry for 8 more hours
>trade off smoking 6 packs of cigarettes in the next 3 hours

Shieet many spelling errors
Bunker>bunks
Thought>taught