A Flordia man suffocated to death after having sex with pet anaconda

worldnewsdailyreport.com/florida-man-suffocated-to-death-after-having-sex-with-pet-anaconda/

>Stay classy Flordia...

Other urls found in this thread:

gaybeast.com/movie/102668/snake_ass
dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3281057/Man-admitted-police-killed-disemboweled-girlfriend-called-ex-s-sex-pleads-NOT-guilty-murder.html#ixzz4oLbW0ryi
gaybeast.com/movie/105721/big_dick_snake_fucker
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Weird shit happens in Florida, man.

pro tip : people who own snakes as pets are always mentally ill insecure fucks

It's the heat I tell ya

I always said relationships were constricting.

>Florida man

Haha. Yes :)

RIP florida man

you died how you lived, batshit

Probably has spic in him, so no real lost.

Never change florida

Underrated

>“I knew he was into bestiality and erotic asphyxiation but I never thought it would go so wrong,” explained his friend in tears to reporters.

Kek

Wow, that's a new one.

That's pretty hardcore

I think I've seen someone post a webm related to something like this

wtf

post it

know that is a funny death. ill give you one kek.

Oh my fucking gawd
>Florida

Yup, nothing to see here. Just the everyday life.

>inb4 FL's open records law is responsible, the rest of the country is just as batshit insane as we are
NO. There is something uniquely strange about America's penis. Maybe it's the in-migration of all the crazies from every other state, but it's at least 4 standard deviations outside the median of crazy found everywhere else.

Can someone give me a diagram here? this is pretty hard to visualize I can barely get a boner

>David Brown was also brought to the emergency room last October after an incident with a pet gerbil who had “accidentally perforated his anus and chewed through his intestinal track,” explained another family friend.
>“He once convinced me into a threesome with his German Shepherd but I wouldn’t get close to that snake, even if David proposed it several times and was really persuasive,” she remembers.
What a fucking madman

You guys know this is a fake news site right?

>naming your state after a shitty rap
Get your shit together, America.

That's why I prefer dogs!

How do you have sex with a snake? Like he was putting his dick in the mouth of the snake or what

>There is something uniquely strange about America's penis

Nah senpai, it isn't unique to America. The Israelis and niggers do it too.

Yeah, we know. Play along.

Haha, fucking florida.

I think you're thinking of the one where the guy's fucking a gator.

>It took several hours for authorities to separate the large serpent from the young man as the victim was in “full erection” and had “deeply penetrated” the female anaconda’s genitalia according to the coroner’s report.
Da fugg

Lancing sharks while riding a sea turtle, FUCKING BASED!

>THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN

RIPIP dixie trash.

:^)

if your pet is anything but a dog then you have some issues you need to deal with.

>23 ft long snek
Problems were going to happen sooner or later. That's simply too much predatory noodle to deal with.
Should've just wanked off to a drawing of a snake woman instead.

Kalima!

>it's another Sup Forums falls for fake news episode

...

...

That's a fake news site. No wonder the real world doesn't take you seriously

...

>“I knew he was into bestiality and erotic asphyxiation but I never thought it would go so wrong,”

i'm not a specialist but i think Sup Forums has cancer

Florida is basically Australia's retarded cousin

Shut the fuck up and enjoy it, leaf.

Don't care, explain how you fuck a snake leaf

>Leaf

I definitely saw it on Sup Forums years ago. Wonder if it was the same guy, or if there's a whole subculture of snek rapists out there?

>Florida
>southern
Have you ever been?

...

This place really does have some of the most humongous faggots on Earth residing in it.

We laugh at Onion news too you grabblers.

sunshinelaws copypasta.txt

stupid fucking yankees every. time.

gaybeast.com/movie/102668/snake_ass

...

FIDF detected.

>Florinigger thinks he's a southern

File > Import > essence_of_reddit.bin

just fucking your shit up 100% complete

click "le continue" to continue

i aint clicking dat shit nigga but give me a synopsis

...

...

YASSSSS

He probably had a snuff fetish and enjoyed it. Quite common in the gay/pedophile community.

>gaybeast

I don't understand how everyone in this thread could fail to realize it. Looking at all of the other stories and there being no other source besides just that site should be a clue.

>not swamperating

I honestly feel sorry for you, user.

And people say executing these insane people is bad for humanity.

...

Why do puns always get me fucking hell.

Another victim to the insidious Japanese manga monster girls.

...

alpha as fuck

Damn that's some game of thrones shit

This. Owning a pet snake is almost as good an indicator of batshit insanity as blue hair

...

>gaybeast

>Wondering now how large anaconda genitalia is comparable to human

Dammit, Sup Forums, these are things I should want to search for.

That's fake too. Even the grammar is incorrect

WHITE PEOPLE

lol

Typical nu-male millennial.

I want to fuck Mia.

>The young man that was an avid animal fan had a wide collection of pets ranging from dogs and cats to tarantulas, snakes, scorpions, turtles and even a baby wild hog he described himself as “extremely horny.”

GAHhahahaha

jews fabricate clickbait bullshit like this in order to incite racial hatred against whites.

His anaconda don't.

>Implying

He stepped on the snake, he got what was coming to him.

>I want to fuck Mia.
That's how it starts.
That's how it ends:
>It took several hours for authorities to separate the large serpent from the young man as the victim was in “full erection” and had “deeply penetrated” the female anaconda’s genitalia according to the coroner’s report.

I apologize. It's real

After his outburst, Lopez returned to the closet where his girlfriend was lying unconscious and proceeded to insert several foreign objects into the woman's vagina and anus, including a beer bottle, a flatiron for the hair and both his fists and arms up to his elbows, making Maria Nemeth bleed.

Read more: dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3281057/Man-admitted-police-killed-disemboweled-girlfriend-called-ex-s-sex-pleads-NOT-guilty-murder.html#ixzz4oLbW0ryi
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

I said to her, "you are smothering me"

I love my state of florida!

Mah heart
Mah soul.

Huh? The snake willingly went into his ass?
Surely it's reversed.

I don't see anything wrong with that.

>It took several hours for authorities to separate the large serpent from the young man as the victim was in “full erection” and had “deeply penetrated” the female anaconda’s genitalia according to the coroner’s report.
That's pretty hot.

I want to know
But not this desperately

>tfw you will never die in a snake's lover's embrace.

What's the point of living?

...

gaybeast.com/movie/105721/big_dick_snake_fucker

This looks hotter than in hentai's even.

if only we could all be so lucky...

This is now cute snekgirl thread

he said he was just trying to get his semen back

Heroic Anaconda fights off sexual predator.

snek doesn't seem to enjoy