ITT

ITT

We predict all of Stephen Colbert, John Oliver and any other faggot leftists jokes before they make them.

John Oliver:
>A group of white supremacist decided to hold a marching rally using fire torches.
>[Shows clip of people fighting]
>So much for it being peaceful. I wonder what it was you expected from a bunch of racists.
>[Laughter]

Anglo swine

>there's a hawaiian theme to this years annual KKK meet up

Ancaps need to start mass producing more intimidating torches.

Colbert:
>PEE PEE
>POO POO
>DRUMP BUMPF RUMPF

Meme the tired torches - a new symbol of hate and White supremacy.

ITT comedy writers search for free jokes.

A bunch of unfuckable hate nerds went to Home Depot and bought tiki torches. Circle jerked each other and declared victory.

While 90% of the country doesn't give a fuck, 9% laughed at their limped dicks.

And 1% came to this cesspool and continued the circle jerk.

Republicans are going to get blown the fuck out in 2018. This shit is cancer.

Was that funny enough?

Rural and suburban retards buy tiki torches. Super high iq city people vote Hillary.

meme torch

same as they always make
unfunny ones.

Hillary Clinton: So smart she couldn't win.

Liberal cucks on suicide watch

No I just think it would be funny to see how stale and predictable their material is

What else?

>Tiki Torches
>Milk
>OK sign
>Quadroons with huge tits

Cant think of any more at the moment

Thanks for reminding me, I forgot:
>2min youtube video of the joke becomes 2nd in the trending page

Hyuck hyuck. And they were carrying...TIKI TORCHES...
>crowd erupts in laughter
It looks less like a rally of a bunch of racist modern day crypto-nazis and more like a lynching for mosquitoes! BAD MOSQUITOES BAD! WE DON'T WANT MALARIA!

>hey alt-righters, tiki torches are hawaiian
>you know what hawaiians usually give out in the presence of tiki torches? lays.
>i didn't see any lays among your tiki torches.
>i always knew that basement dwelling alt-righters couldn't get laid.

> this one I can actually see happening
And is Tiki Torch the new meme?

>john oliver
>stefan colbert
>lefty fags

>jokes

HA!

it's a really bad joke and I could have tried harder
which, funnily enough, is why you can almost guarantee someone like stephen colbert or john oliver will use it

and god I hope so

Can the next rally actually be a Hawaiian themed KKK meet up?

Cross burning
Pig Roast
Fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them

Kek

Trevor Noah:
>Tiki torches are the new crosses lol >:)
John Oliver:
>Just throws up a picture of the KKK next to a picture of the dude bros
Stephen Colbert:
>Does the same as above but with the KKK photoshopped to have hawaiin t-shirts

>get material for shitlib comedy from people making fun of shitlib comedy by trying to out retard the retards
>thinks liberals would like it
I'd say you're stupid but this would probably work

TWO TORCHES??

TWO
BY
TWO

im pretty sure your image sums it up. low hanging fruit.

Nice try Stephen Colbert
We're not gonna write your jokes for you

good luck with that, you have more Senate seats up for grabs and no message except "fuck Blumpf" and "free gibs here"

Stephen Colbert:
>[cold open]
>We... We like to have fun here, but... the time for laughs is over.
>Something happened this weekend that... well, it challenged my faith in the United States of America.
>A group of vile, evil, violent racists RIOTED and they were chanting Nazi chants and wearing KKK uniforms.
>This... this isn't a joke anymore. This is what Trump's America will be like... We need him gone.
>[audience claps]
>Now, on with the show!

You forgot the part where Liberals make money and "Rural and Suburban retards" vote for Trump and buy tiki torches because they're poorfags who blame Jews, immigrants and Niggers for failing at life.

Best part is the biggest shit sandwich will be for them. Those City People are loving their stocks right now, while Trump fails at actually doing any of the shit his conned followers bought in to.

Trumpcucks are dumbfucks.

Enjoy poverty.

>Be white
>Vote Trump
>Trump wins
>Land the best job of my life a couple weeks later
>Just put down a mortgage for a house

Seems to be working pretty well for me

>They were all so proud of their own culture and race that they used a Hawaiian invention as their only source of light
>[audience laughter]

This is all I can come up with. I'm a failure.

>Last week: The alt right, because something more disgusting than the regular right exists
Audience laughs
>This last Friday there was a rally held in Charlottesville North Carolina called "unite the right" that, I shit you not, included a torch-lit rally through campus accompanied by chants of 'white lives matter'
Audience boos
>Despite the obvious appalling parallels to, say, this
KKK rally stockphoto
>Or this
Nuremberg rally stock photo
>The organizers claim there was no racial element to the event and that it was purely related to political ideology
Audience boos again
>However, much like children asking questions, the bullshit doesn't stop with just one thing. In addition to the chants and the torches there were reports of physical violence against the counter protestors who were outnumbered somewhere on the order of 40 to 1
>I mean beating them up at that point is equivalent to adults playing dodgeball with children, it's not fair
>FUCK YOU DEREK, I KNOW IT WAS YOU WHO SMEARED PASTE ON MY DESK
Audience convulses with laughter as John Oliver gesticulates wildly.

> Something something, hawaiian torches? They must be gay.

The whole event tomorrow should be Tiki themed.

A Polynesian vibe is the right way to go.

Be libtard
Vote for killary
Killary lost the election
Be depressed and hate every white men
But not regretting voting for white killary
Seems legit to me

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH I can just imagine him doing that woth hos faggy voice. I laughed and my mom heard me and came in my room and was mad because I was still awake lol

Me too.

Making much more money now.

>Enjoy poverty.
the utter fucking irony

hey does anyone want to spend an inordinate amount of time online promoting men we find attractive online with me?

(no homo)

I liked the how dare he disrespect the ambassadors spin on cnn today. it was quite bootylicious.

Colber/Oliver are sad -- they try to make jokes about 'the right'... but their obsession with them is proof that they aren't a joke.

Nothing's funny about watching your political and cultural worldview get ass raped and eclipsed.

is this 3D shitposting?

lazy ass writers coming here to steal our memes

...

I'm not eben shitposting. My bedtime is at 12 during the summer and my mom normally takes away my phone so I bought a broken phone from my friend and just give her that. I'm 18 and in highschool so don't call me a loser

kek good stuff user

Keith olberman already called it out.
There is no originality in them so tiki jokes. Probably how they are hypocrites and need to have a Hawaiian party with a pig and poi. Or something like that.

You think I'm joking..I'm not I can record next time my mom comes in if you want. Whenever I say my mom's kickING me off people think I'm joking

>I'm not I can record next time my mom comes in if you want
i do want

She's sleeping again but she may wake. I have to sneak downstairs tonight and close the Sup Forums windows on the computer left open sometime tonight

go wake her up ;)

Post pics of mum

stephen: must be their euphemism for two genders

A single spark can turn a forest to ashes.

Fucking kike.

Either this is weak bantz, or Gen Z has more hope than I thought.

No I'm not baiting. And why do you say gen z has more hope?

Holy shit

10/10

Something about mayonnaise, spicy water/yogurt/bread or the usual "lel wypipo food is so bland meme!!!!"

I dont think they'll be joking too much though.

Are you a writer for his show? This is so accurate.

>dems winning in 2018

You might wanna get that rope of your ready kike.

Thats breddy good merkel. 1023/10

Poast her feet and pucci

Read it in his voice and everything

9/10

Liberals make what now?

you are actually John Oliver aren't you

>Torches? They can shove them up their asses!
Pretty sure this qualifies as good American humor.

...

Who makes this art?

>Underrated

Spot on m8

theyll try to use the funniest sounding name for the torches. theyll call them tiki-torches for sure because it sounds dinky. i think its kind of fun, has a bit of a kitsch feel to it. seriously though, if anyone organises these rallies in the future they should err on the side of comedy and stupidity. it was cool to see the rally but in future it should also have a fun theme that is obviously poking fun at itself, not trying to be like tough-guy intimidating shit. that way anyone who attacks the rally is being lame and its hard to make a joke about a joke.

IMAGINE
MY
SHOCK

kek

hey juden

Trump Trump Trump hurrr hurrr hurrr

Isn't that the only thing they ever talk about. If you want to make it big in (((media))) just act like biggest Liberal piece of shit and it works

Are you an HBO writer?

ITS 2017

A few hundred white guys decided to step out from behind their computers and venture out into the real world. And in tradition with angry white guys throughout history, they've decided to unify in the name of... yelling at black people. That's right, this... this is the most important issue in the modern world. The nation is on the bring of nuclear war with Korea, and the most powerful man in the world is an Orange baby on holiday - and the issue they're rallying around is picking on brown people. Hey, gotta hand it to them for being consistently misguided just like their predecessors, the KKK.
(show clip of roman salute)
Well that didn't take long... The night before the event, and we've already got a nazi salute. And you wonder why they're so frustrated. I mean, come on ladies, who isn't turned on by a goose stepping nazi marching with his bros to defend the losers of a 150 year old war?
[clapping and laughing]
[stares at camera with confused disbelief]

100% has already been written and greenlit

who watches that shit besides uninformed faggot leftists

can't predict what I don't watch

I'm getting irritated just imagining him saying this shit already, so well done, you nailed it

>Tikkki torches, get it! OMG Trumpkins BTFO!

They won't even talk about it because they are still in the "first they ignore you" stage when it comes to effective alt-right events.

The whole point is to create the illusion that EVERYONE is mocking them. The most powerful tool in their toolbox is mockery - to make anyone they target look like a fool. They play the clown that never takes themselves too seriously so they can disarm the viewer.
>Hey, we're just here to have a little laugh, right? We're not advocating a world view, we're just here to laugh at how absurd everything is, like proper detached nihilistic adult children.
>So now that you've been cognitively disarmed and you can see we're on the same team, it's time for me to put my arm around your shoulder and start pointing at stuff for you to laugh at.
>That's right, absolutely no one is allowed to retain their dignity. No matter how serious their cause or how dedicated they are to improving the world.
So they just grab the target by the pant leg and try to drag them down into the clown world they inhabit. Of course, they don't do it when Obama invites a bunch of rappers to the white house - but if Trump invited country music stars, they'd mock it endlessly. When Obama gives Ellen Degeneres a medal, it's not worth joking about. But when Trump responds to direct nuclear threats being made against our country, it's time to dress him down like a fool.

That's what's so frustrating about this. They just go after people's dignity. They sit in the peanut gallery and just laugh at real world events that actually fucking matter. And they have legions of retarded viewers who think they're enlightened and who love to throw popcorn at the screen. I work with dunces who eat this shit up. It makes me wish we actually do get nuked - just to snap them out of their state of eternal amusement.

BUT THOSE TIKI TORCHES, OH WHY WHERE DO THEY ORIGINATE FROM, BUT FROM THE SANDY BEACHES OF HISTORICALLY OPPRESSED PACIFIC ASIATIC MINORITIES MADE IN CHYYNA! LOOK AT MEEE ITS ALL THEIR FAULT

>Something something Survivor. Some pun about the white race Surviving or not.

>Something something Gilligan's Island.
Close enough.

First time that Jew ever made me laugh.

t. john

> the alt right, because the dark side of america...
> actually has a white face
> *shows face of protestors*
> *boos in the background*
> not me though I swear on my nose!!!
> but this is no joke since their numbers have been growing steadily and as if it wasn't enough with trumps victory
> *shows trump rooster*
> *audience laughs*
> this group of people bordering on neo nazis now want to finish the job of burning the country down...
> *shows picture of protests*
> with garden torches!!!
> *""hahaha"*
> I mean, come ON. I dont wish on my country what I wished on 2016!
> but really, they need to be taught a lesson
> so... *stands up and along with nigresses, fags and spics gets dressed as kkk with garden torches*
> lets show them that we too belong to the united states we all want! yes! lets dance for diversity and inclusion! and lets show them we wont lose!
> *audience cheers hysterically*

leaked straight from the saucc

Jesus christ, it's scary how accurate this is.