Bidet for America

Have you swallowed the bidet pill yet? Who here doesn't use at least some water to wash and rinse their ass hole after taking a dumb? I don't have a bidet unfortunately but I do have my toilet right next to my bath tub so I always sit my ass on the edge of my tub and use my long shower hose to rinse my butt. If I'm out and can't hold it until I get home to take a proper deuce I'll wet 3 paper towels. One with warm water, one with warm water and soap and another with just warm water. In that order I'll wipe my ass to clean it as thoroughly as possible since toilet paper alone is disgusting. Especially if you have a hairy ass crack and don't trim. That shit smells.

I shower daily and wear clean clothes daily and on top of showing daily and washing my ass after every dumb I'll sometimes wash my ass if I feel like it's musty or smelly, like in the summer time. We wash our hands don't we? I wash my ass crack almost as much as I wash my hands daily. You nasty faggots.

>Having water squirted up your ass like a faggot

Literally all you fucking need.

Showering *
Dump *
If you mother fuckers don't use water to wash your ass crack after dumping you can no longer give pajeets any shit. No pun intended.

Wow water is gay now. .. I bet you don't even clean your nasty moldy ass crack at all even if you shower. If you even shower.

Op is contanimating his show with shit particles and washing himself in steamy shit gas

Nope I clean my tub everyday. Cmon do I need to spell everything out for you? Whatever helps you sleep at night though, make up all the excuse you want for not washing your nasty ass crack.

>walking around with shit particles glued to your underwear and ass cheeks mixed with hairy ass crack sweat.

Gross. Yes don't use your tub to clean yourself goy. The tub isn't for cleaning yourself goy.

The silence from you nasty faggots speaks volumes. The point here is to spread bidet awareness. We could benefit from bidets and not have to use our showers. I plan on investing on a bidet in my future home but if I'm still stuck in a rental I'll buy a hose attachment for my toilet.

There exists no argument against bidets and washing your ass after shitting. Don't even try you'll embarrass yourself. Let's come together and speak about the benefits.

I have a 350$ bidet, and the first few times it was so weird.. But, afterwards it's amazing. I don't take a dump without it,.

Where did you buy it and how hard was the installation. I have little plumbing experience.

When it "squirts" water on your asshole the water gets mixed in with the shit
I don't want diluted shit-smelling water on my clothes and my legs

So stop being clumsy make all the water go down the drain don't use a high jet. I've never encounter that issue and clearly you've never tried because that wouldn't happen unless you deliberatly tried to get water all over yourself like an autist. But by all means spread shit with toilet paper all over your choad and ass crack and walk along with that all day instead.

Also. Forgot to mention. I DO USE TOILET PAPER FIRST DUH. To get the majority of shit off. Then I rinse my ass. Retard. Think for a minute!

I can btfo all your arguments against having a clean ass. All you faggots have so far is
>hurr durr is too complicated I would smear poo all over me durrrrrrrr

Typical poltards

>Sending an estrogen-fueled cocktail through your bodies's fastest acting absorbent

There's a reason the countries that primarily use this are the same ones that are welcoming the destruction of their lifestyle.

I just wet the tp bro

...

You guys are kinda dumb Lol. Props to those that "are in the known" and "woke". Keep that healthy hygiene up.

Not good enough. I do that if I'm not at home. But that's better than nothing I guess. I would invest in a long shower hose.

I am at work with poop stains in my pants right now.
It's terrible...i have huge turds and i wipe clean but alway have some stuck in my anus that squishes out as the day goes on.

Kek. I think YOU guys are the true degenerates.

>i have huge turds and i wipe clean but alway have some stuck in my anus that squishes out as the day goes on.
Go see a doctor or nutritionist, you're either not eating enough fiber, or are eating too much fiber.
(checked)
Lets all talk about the REAL issue here folks.....
Single
Ply.

Is a crime against humanity and you might as well be a poojeet while using it.

Then don't buy single ply. That simple. Also wash your ass after first wiping with toilet paper.

Could be worse: Kraut toilets leave the turd high and dry on a shelf for inspection, without the benefit of odor control from being submerged.

Don't have that tech, but I wash my ass in the shower after shitting. In the summer it feels very refreshing too. Also wash my crotch

My nigger that's what's up. I didn't include washing my crotch because I figured people would discover that one on their own. I too wash my crotch everytime.

Having a clean crotch increased my girls dick suckling enthusiasm by %200.

Yeah I eventually end up splashing water on my walls so I just went with it. I hope I can buy a bidet one day.

Top goal. Me too. The real people who definitely need to wash themselves even after sitting to take a pee is girls. Girls can get fucking nasty.

I am a degenerate...I eat fucking junk.
Here is a good one...I'll attempt to greentext
>me a few years back
>been having lower back pain
>at work and massive shit pain hits
>huge turd girth and length
>fence_post.png
>so big it bottoms out and smacks the back of my nutsack
>lower back instantly stops hurting

>Then don't buy single ply
>implying I do
I'm talking about public and business restrooms dear user.

Yeah that shit can suck. I would file a complaint or let them know. I am also going to start buying baby wipes to carry with me everyday which I can leave in my car for when needed.

Do you not care about yourself? What race are you?

White of course.
Used to be fit but got married and stop giving a fuck.

back in kinder garden we had those with cartoons on them giving you something to aim at.
Also they prevent water splashes

Your wife will end up having an affair if you act like that. What is your political leaning?

Currently using pic related.
works great.
use cold water so it soothes (even after an acidic stinging shit) and it cleans.
Have to consider putting in an inline device.

Holy shit no way! I need one now! Can't believe I didn't think of something like that yet. Haha it's almost an asshole douchebag.

kind of a douche for le butt hole.
Got mine at home depot.
like 10 bucks.
Can even put it in the fridge to make the water super cool if you want.
Also if you have one of those acidic sting shit like from diarrhea you can put a little bit of baking soda in to to neutralize the acid.

have one too. will never go back to just paper

>not having a bidet
barbaric.

that was true like 2 decades ago.
nowadays, 99% of the toilets are of the insta-waterhole-type.

advantage is that you don't have pee water splashing up to your ass.
downside is the smell, of course.

...

who the hell wants a jet of water squirting into your asshole? just wipe a couple and rinse the rest in the shower.

I have got a bidet/water-jet since years. It's among the greatest inventions humans did.

...

Water isn't being squirted into your asshole retard. Yes wipe and take a shower. But if you're not taking a shower right after you wipe then rinse your ass crack you nasty faggot.

Wow no shit pajeet?

Can we get the 7 sevens for the bidet of cleanliness?

Wash your ass.

Git

Bidet of peace

Get

Fuck

Yes goy, make sure to clean your boipucci thoroughly for achmeds dick! Make sure to get used to the feel of sticking a water pipe up your ass and fingering your ass to "wash" it

...

Yup .
Paper is now only for drying

No one is sticking anything up their ass you fucking retard. Figures a national (((socialist))) can't even follow instructions or figure out how to clean their ass without ending up fingering their prostate. Faggot. I hope your moldy ass makes your vagina fall off.

Why don't you have bidets?

What do you do?, just scrap paper on your ass and assume that it's clean?

Barbarians

>Not using a family cloth
Umm. It's 2017 get with the times. Go green :DDDDD

And who wants to smear shit in their ass crack and then have to shower so you don't stink like an ass crack smeared with shit???

Oh and btw dope what would you do in the shower???
Other then shoot a jet of water up your ass???

No wonder my country is going to shit .

Yes Mr bad ass Nazi.
Enjoy stinking like shit all day.
Yes I'm sure the rest of the Reich enjoys it to.

I googled rectal douching and it said it was a gay practice. Figures this fucking kike obsessed with men's assholes and scat is a degenerate playing his shitty asshole multiple times a day.

I HAVE NO BIDET! the idea is entirely sound. but because i have no bidet, i bring water to my assohole from the tap, just like if you were to bring water up from a stream to drink. here in wasteful great-lakistan we have much water. and so i first wash my ass, then my hands. it is disgusting.

Learn to google faggot. We're talking about bidets/washing your crack after pooping not enemas you GOD DAMN RETARD! Just be humble and own up to the fact that you're mentally retarded and didn't know what we adults are talking about.

haaaa the guy who chooses to smell like shit all day talking about how others are into scat.

Gross. Use toilet paper, wipe the shit, then use a bidet, a shower hose or one of these to rinse your ass crack.

AGAIN NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT STICKING SOMETHING UP THEIR ASS TO WAS THE INSIDE OF THEIR RECTUM. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT WASHING THE CRACK NOT THE INSIDE OF THE RECTUM YOU TOTAL FAGGOTS.

i'm not the one squirting liquids up my ass and rubbing the hole with shit and water faggots

what the fuck

tl;dr you're homosexual and have an assplay fetish. Just get an enema kit already. Or a garden hose.

No one else is squirting liquids up their ass either. Retard. If you can't figure out how to clean your ass you should check yourself into a mental ward dumbass. You wipe, then you rinse. Easy. Is washing your hands gay too? How about brushing your teeth? Who in their right mind would want to brush their teeth, get their mouth all ready for ahmeds cock amirite? Might as well suck a dildo all day.

You are a terrible troll and it only makes you look very dumb and had terrible upbringing. DOn't know if I should feel sorry for your parents or ashamed of them

No you just decide to do some solo scat shit and smear feces all over you ass.

mmmmmm pooooooooooopppppyyyyy smell.
I like the pooooooppppyyyy smell.

>why brush your teeth just go out and suck dick already XDDDDDD

All these retards, and it figures that they're mostly (((nazis))) are against being clean because it "might" be gay and they would rather walk around like a pajeet with poo smeared all over their whitey tiddies. TOP pic related

kys degenerate faggots

Eat shit and die socialist kike. You will never have a gf.

Wiping your ass is inherently gay, though. True heterosexuals shit in the shower so it gets naturally clean.

>taking a shit is inherently gay
True heterosexuals don't eat anything so they don't have to experience something going through their rectum.

The day of the rope is coming you disgusting scat fetishist faggots. Are you getting nervous?

Can't wait to ring some (((socialist))) necks. Come at me faggot, I'll probably smell you from a mile away. Are you trembling?

The CIA developed 1 ply toilet paper to get shit on the working mans hands. As a result, the CIA has blocked the spread of Bidets through the US in tandem to continue their project of demoralization of the American Worker, so as to make them more susceptible to propaganda.

hell yes ive swallowed the bidet pill.

visited japan in highschool and worked at google for a short time. I'd hold my shit at home so i could poop at work and feel clean.

LEL I knew the Jews had something to do with this!

I build my own custom bidet from items on Amazon.

The top valve connects behind your shower head and you turn it to divert water to your bidet.
Then it connects to the 8ft long metal hose so it can reach your toilet.
Then you connect the pressure valve to adjust the pressure or even turn the thing off without switching off your shower for quick access bideting.
Then the nozzle, I just use an enema tip (third from the right) but if you don't use this for enemas I reccomend the tip below it for minimal asshole touching.
You can also use the shower head nozzle if you want to use this as a hand held shower head.
Wrap every thread with teflon tape 5 times, and use the suction cup wall mount for easy access.

I would never go back to using paper, shit is so dirty and doesn't even get your ass clean.

...

My fellow Americans
Wash your dirty fucking asses

Fucking saved! Thanks for the most valuable blueprint I've ever saved off 4chang.

Its deeper than just the Kikes. Its the Saturn, Minerva, Moloch worshippers. Every last member of the evel-aligned occultist elites, allied in tandem with the Kikes to spread the jewish influence upon the average American.

Why does funding 1 ply toilet paper and anti-bidet propaganda work even on the more subtle end? Leme explain it in greentext.
>Be you
>dumb american worker
>watch news every night
>have to take a shit
>shit
>use cheap toilet paper
>its 1ply
>Have to use tons of toilet paper or get shit on your hands
>cant be economic about it, becuase youll get shitty fingers
>use half the toilet paper roll to wipe your fat ass
>bits of the shit gets stuck in your ass, discomfort continues
>still shit in there, now with shitty paper too!
>give up
>wash hands for a few minutes because theyre still covered in shit
>sit back down, feel unclean

The discomfort causes you to be more susceptable to accept their propaganda.

Eat the shit off your undies.
As we are sure there is a lot of it there.

That kind of toilette paper is called John Wayne toilette paper because its rough, tough and dont take shit from nobody.

Good pun, although its not so tough, its pretty weak paper, its unhygienic to use because pieces of the paper will get stuck in your ass whether you like it or not. Most thin 2ply toilet paper also can be applied to this rule, in reality Bidets are like 500% more hygenic, but due to CIA and Jewish influence, it will never become popular in the US unless something big happens to (((them)))

kek

As a burger who lives in bum gun land; this cultural difference is pretty intriguing.

Bum gun
>clean in 30 secs
>nothing to dispose
>nothing to buy

(((Toilet Paper)))
>takes 10 min at least to get an actual clean asshole.
>Must buy constantly; nothing is worse than running out of TP.

I used to hate shitting. Solely for the fact of how long I have to wipe my ass afterwards. Now 10min is 30secs and I no longer hate shitting.

Are bidets the tool and symbol of our future struggle and revolution to be free? Have I started some serious shit here?

Are bidets gay?

I've used one in a home I used to live in, it's alright. I usually, you know, shower so it's not that necessary.

10 minutes to clean? Man you must have constant diarrhea
get some fiber in your diet

Do you always shower after pooping? Bidets are meant to keep your ass clean in between showering/bathing... Why is it so hard for people to understand bidets, perhaps they are being willfully ignorant...

Very.