Going to burgerland as a tourist

Visiting America as a tourist in November.
I will stay there for nearly a month, mostly in Chicago as my brother is working in the consulate.
But I also plan to visit New York and California.

Can any American anons, tell me what all places to is it and give me tips.

>Inb4 poo.

fuck you poo

yes you shall visit the loo, be sure to fold the toilet paper, don't scrunch, wipe away from balls and put the toilet paper in the toilet and flush. Make sure you wash your hands once you're done!

oh and use hot water with soap! Congratulations, you're in a first world country!

Man every were is pretty much the same. Just choose any big city. Go doen the california coast i geuss to olaces like monterey ,big sur, etc.


This place is fucked

don't wear a turban, the rednecks will think you are a muslim.

>I will stay there for nearly a month, mostly in Chicago as my brother is working in the consulate.
>Can any American anons, tell me what all places to is it and give me tips.

Dude, you can make a killing in America! Set up a business of getting cute Indian girls to America for dating with rich American men. Rich American men love cute Indian girls - I mean all the young q.t. Indians speak broken Brit-Indian English, which is perfect for American men.

Don't call it "make order bride" or "Indian hookups", call it "Brown Sugar Daddy" or something. Essentially, you end up getting a million q.t. Indian girls to America, setting them up as girlfriends of middle class and rich Americans and after they got their greencard, they are free to find Pajiets on H1Bs for the long marriage road.

This is gold man, gold!

The way niggers act will be shocking no amount of reading stories can prepare you. Good luck though I usually like Indian people I think most white people do as long as you don't smell like spices

You better not have that target on your head while in Chicago.

...

>avoid the west and south side of chicago
>avoid any train line that isnt blue or brown line
>avoid any street that has a number for a name

Im too tired to think of other shit but that should do you well

If you start seeing more black people than any other group, just go the other way. Outside of that just have fun and don't leave your stuff unattended.

The United States isn't small like you'd think, NY and CA aren't just a day's drive.

stay north of Chicago
Evanston or something

Youre actually safer pooing in a field than in a bathroom in chicago. Dont poo in the loo bro.

Stay away from black people. Stay away from hispanics as well. Just stay near white people and you'll be fine.

This, don't go south of downtown Chicago, it's nigger central. Especially after dark, it's seriously dangerous.
I can't speak for the other cities but I used to live in Chicago.

Foreigners really don't appreciate just how massive the country is or their geography of it just isnt that good.

Never take the brown train. I'll never forget getting off the last stop on that train and just being engulfed in a sea of black people

dont fucking eat deep dish pizza its shit, dont know how or why it got popular.
get these things: italian beef, drag it thru the garden and dunk it
and a jumbo char polish sausage with everything on it( poppy seed bun, jalapeno peppers, and a pickle spear)

chicago is tight as fuck, just stay in the rich white neighborhoods

First off see lake Michigan its amazing, second go in knowing chicago is a shithole with rude niggers , that isn't the US as a whole. Take road trips, check out Madison Wisconsin check out Michigan, go see the gulf coast in the south, check out Colorado and the northwest check out Texas, check out thr native american statue they are caring into a mountain in south dakota and you can go see the coastal cities like Boston new York and San Diego if you want. Just know that each section of the US will have different people and will feel different, I wish you weren't mostly staying in the worst Midwestern state but the other states around you have truly genuine people.

some Americans are loud and crazy, they are also kind and honest. Ask before you bring up any topic. Some are very private about family, money and personal habits. As a tourist, nuance is somewhat regional. People in New York are not like people in California. Ask about customs and food, ask about slang terms, feel free to go to a gun range if you think you'll have fun there. America as a whole is a beautiful place, have fun while you are here.

>open vagene
>open clot
>open bob

>mostly in Chicago
God help you!

Also know new York and Cali are basically different countries culturally. Oh and avoid LA in Cali, San Fran San Diego and Yosemite are pretty cool though.

Don't poo on the streets.we have toilets for that.

>Visiting New York, California, and Chicago.

You have literally picked all the worst places in the US to go. This would be like me visiting your country and staying in Utter Pradesh. Are you trying to get shot and/or stabbed?

I recommend Texas for history and culture, also shopping. My favorite city is actually St. Louis, which has one of the largest zoos and botanical gardens in the country. The riverfront there is also pretty cool.

Georgia and Tennessee are also good.

Just don't step foot in California at all. It's basically Northern Mexico now, not America.

poo

Dont go. It is extremely dangerous. When I visit, there were black and white homeless drug addict everywhere harassing people on the subway which smelled bad. I rarely felt safe.

California has nice weather but it sucks balls. Go to the Grand Canyon or Yellowstone, which are both cool. Instead of going to New York, go to Maine, Massachussetts, and New Hampshire. Or you could go to upstate New York. Maine is prettier than California any day.

And another word of advice--shut up about America being "burgerland." Our cuisine is much more varied than that.

They call it Chiraq for a reason.

stay out of Chiraq son, find /cpd/ and learn the dangers

This but the funny thing is it won't be just based rednecks MOST people will think he is Muslim

Lol where were you?

Don't mind the trolls. If you get an early start from New York, you can be in LA before midnight.
Same for getting back to Chicago after you've spent a few days of fun in the California sun.

Chicago? stay safe user. See the museums and the shed aquarium.

There are a lot of Indians in redneckland. We are pretty familiar with them down here. Most people won't take him for a Mudslime.

I've spent quite a few holidays in Chicago, try the deep dish pizza stay away from kfc and nigger

Mexican food!
but go to Texas to try it

Get some Korean BBQ in LA.

Hollywood has homeless people everywhere.

Dont make eye contact.

>California

Please do us a favor and don't fucking come here. We have enough of you street shitters taking over our gyms and you all some like vomit and diarrhea

Also, why do you fucks always travel in unnecessary large groups like 8 - 12 people just going to a shoe store or buying groceries

I thought beaners were bad but you fucks take it to a whole new level

I'm going to visit the US too. Which places should I avoid if I don't want to see niggers and people like OP?

Big Sur is shut at the moment

Is that true?

Avoid niggers and you will be fine

>Can any American anons, tell me what all places to is it and give me tips.

Yeah sure, don't go to Chicago, New York, or California.

Look at our most recent election map and avoid any states that are blue, for starters.

Breaker Breaker, so is that some good meth you smoking, on those on them NY2LA "easy fast" road trips good buddy 10-4?

Yeah I personally get across the whole continent in like... 20 hours myself. I got to piss in a bottle and shit with my ass hanging out the window, hoping to hit the insomnia demons when I do, so they don't steal my think bones out my kooky box. If I didn't do that, why it'd take more than a day or three to get across the entire continent by vehicle.

if you get a chance, some down to the Gulf Coast. Alabama, Florida, Mississippi. Fishing is hot right now, no yankee snowbirds and super hot, so girls are wearing practically nothing. Just avoid niggers, they are the worst

No. He's jacking around. You would get pulled over multiple times just trying that shit.

kek

No it's not true. Coast to coast is like 2000 miles straight across. You'd most definitely get stopped if you were averaging fast enough to do that in less than 24 hours straight.

>avoid niggers
>in the South
???

If you're coming in November visit two places that are too hot in Summer but PERFECT in November.

Las Vegas, Nevada
Phoenix, Arizona

This. Or newfags don't seem to realise other boards exist.

San Diego is a nice town to visit in California. If you go up to the Bay Area, I would recommend the wine country: Sonoma and Napa.

Go to Las Vegas and go to casinos and you can shoot machine guns are rental gun ranges with instructors. Also lots of poos were at the bar at the Trump Hotel when I stayed there.

So you'd end up somewhere around Missouri or Kansas at best, right? Jesus, the size of your country is fucking obscene.

Wyoming, German brother. Jackson hole and yellowstone are the white's man's homeland. It is breathtaking. Our cities are disgusting, just explore our wilderness. It is truly unique.

>Chicago
good luck user

That's why I said Gulf Coast, Muhammad. Most niggers avoid the beach and water

As the consulate is technically India, while on consulate grounds feel free to shit outside in public like the feral creature you are

>visiting the three shitiest places in America
>go home and talk shit about America
>feel super smug

>Visiting Chiraq
Dont get shot pajeet and avoid bad looking areas.
>But I also plan to visit New York and California.
Those places are expensive depending on where you're going. But you are aware california and new york are far away from each other right?

Visit the statues while you can.

Most of chicago is great, I imagine your brother will stay mostly in the Loop area. Must-sees are The museums, Millenium Park, and Lincoln Park. Avoid going west of Cicero and south of 35th, that's when it starts to turn dicey. Have a great trip

It's not a straight shot. You can go about 80mph on most of the interstates, but small town traps are a real thing. Also, the police tend to get more active toward the end of the month in order to meet revenue quotas, so you'll get busted over and over again for speeding.

It takes more than a day to get from Atlanta to Dallas unless you decide to skip sleeping.

>yellowstone
>population: 95% asian

Montana: Glacier National Park, The east side especially.

Wyoming: The grand Tetons. Anything requiring walking up hill.

Most of the west is pretty boss if you're willing to drive outside of tourist city.

Listen to Also be sure to dry your hands in a sanitary manner.
If you see a strange machine on the wall with a button and steel vent protruding from the bottom. That's a dryer.
Push that button and boom dry hands in 10 seconds.

And if you'reusing paper towels then always pull the lever to have them ready to go BEFORE you poo.
That way you can tear it off and not have to touch the lever after you've washed your hands.
Dry your hands and use the paper towel to shut off the water so you're not getting germs on your hands after you wash them.
That's the proper order of washing your hands after you poo in the good ol' U S of A.

Other factors to consider are what we call the courtesy flush.
If you're in a crowded bathroom then immediately after you poo. If you notice it smells rank (if it smell at all then it falls under this category) Then flush immediately soyour fellow pooers don't have to smell it.

A note on bathroom code.
Never speak to anyone in a bathroom under any circumstance outside of an emergency.
Heart attack, slip and fall etc.
If you're at the urinal line always and I mean ALWAYS have your eyes and head forward.
If there's a door shut on a stall or one person bathroom always knock before opening. Wait 3-4 seconds for a response. Then enter.
Following these simple guidelines you will have a much more pleasant experience whilst pooing in our loos.

>tell me what all places to is it and give me tips.
Avoid Negros in Chicago at all costs. If they're approaching you and talking to you....they're trying to size you up to try and figure out how to hustle you in some way. Rip you off, rob you etc. The same goes for Mexicans and especially Jews. There will be Jews. If they have curly dark hair it's probably a Jew. Chicago Jews are 9/10 connivers.
The Vic is a cool place for concerts. Never buy anything from anyone outside of the concert halls. Also never park at the end corners in parking garages. They're a bitch to back out of.

Yeah, I hear you user, the trick is just to stay off the main interstates where the cops patrol the most. I try to keep it just under 10 over the posted speed limit.
Bottle for your piss and bring an extra can of gas which can be real useful for minimizing stops. (saves more time than you'd imagine)
Try to plan your trip through the states with the higher speed limits to help maximize your efficiency in the saddle.
A good rule of thumb is to expect about an hour of travel time for each state.
Pic related.

>It takes more than a day to get from Atlanta to Dallas
what the fuck

Dude it takes a day to drive from Washington//Seattle down to Central California. Straight driving is probably 12 hours or so to get to say Sacramento or San Francisco (Not Including traffic which is quite trash in California).

To go to S. California ie. Los Angeles your talking 18 hours, and San Diego is probably another hour or two on top of it because of traffic.

When my parents lived in Texas and I helped them move, the drive from WA to Central Texas was ~ 36 hours of driving time. Texas itself basically took a day to go from the top to the coast. Then you spend a day going from NM up to say Montana then another day going to the coast.

My friend who did coast to coast said it was around 38 hours doing heavy speeding.

>I try to keep it just under 10 over the posted speed limit.

I would legitimately like to stab you in the throat.

For Food: Try BBQ, as many places as possible. It's by far the best American food.

kek. i was in colorado driving on a narrow dirt road up a mountain with a cliff drop off the side. i had asians in minivans in front of me and behind me, it was the most scared i've ever been in my life.

10 over the speed limit is the safest speed to drive if you don't want a ticket.

...

There's a reason they're a stereotype.

Visit Yosemite or Zion in Utah

Not more than 24 hours, but more than 12.

Why do you think we guzzle so much oil? A lot of the shipping is by trucks as well.

Yes, the United States is fucking huge

In California, don't miss Yosemite, Sequoia National Park, and if you have time, hit the north coast, especially Humboldt County and the redwoods. SF is a much more pleasant city to visit than LA, though if you wanna see Hollywood I probably won't be able to talk you out of it. Walk around actual old Hollywood though, don't just visit tourist shit on H'wood Blvd. One of the few things really worth your time along there is Musso and Frank's, an old school restaurant open since the 20's. The old Egyptian Theatre shows great classic film-fests and interesting indie stuff, also. If you have a lot of time, check out the eastern side of the Sierras--the Owens Valley is fascinating, and the adjacent high desert region of SoCal.

Stay in your own shithole poo

Yeah, Monterey/Pacific Grove and Big Sur are worth it as well. Santa Barbara is a pretty little town and very friendly; from there up to San Luis Obispo and inland to Paso Robles is great wine country if you like that sort of thing. And if you're in Central CA don't miss Hearst Castle. One of the creepiest, most beautiful places I've ever visited. It's /x/ tier in a good way.

Canada, always the voice of reason. Canuktards.

I try to keep it under multiples of five on the theory that the troopers are retarded and are probably relying on a computer.

Not that you generally actually see an actual police officer west of the Mississippi, until you hit liberal country.

But since the highway and main street are generally actually the same road, don't be a dick and slow down. A few miles and you'll be back up to 80 mph.

Chicagowise, just do the museums, and be very careful to avoid hot spots. It's super fucking dangerous if you stray into the wrong 'hood.

Leaf is trying to get him arrested and charged as a sex offender.

Fuck Zion. Go to Arches and Canyonlands.

Or check out Oak Park and Frank Lloyd Wright's stuff there if you dig architecture. Oak Park is full of the most incredible old mansions.

this

Not Northern and Central/Eastern CA, and those are the best parts by far. Just avoid SoCal, unless you are a beach nut, and if so try to stay around San Diego, the only nice city in SoCal.

Thats kinda mean man...

>Chicago
>New York
>California

literally the 3 places you should *not* be going to.

The US is the modern day Roman Empire.

Don't hate user, I'm going to share my special route.

>Yellowstone
That's in Wyoming actually. Mostly. Some Montana, etc.

>Just choose any big city.
Do the exact opposite of this.

>t. libtard who thinks he's red pilled
>also eats shit "jew york style pizza" which everyone east of the mississippi would kick him in the balls over