When the shit hits the fan, will you be ready?

When the shit hits the fan, will you be ready?

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No

Sure as hell will. My neighborhood was on an episode of Doomsday preppers a while back. We have trained to be Marauders, so all that shit will be our shit.

No. Nobody is ready for 99,99999% of the population being not ready.

I've got 4 can rotation systems in my garage, how many do you have?

I live next to a retirement home, so if the shit hits the fan, I'm just cannibalizing all the old people in there.

>posing on the lawn with your idiot wife and clueless kids like some pansy surrounded by your survival supplies
Let's see them a couple of months into the apocalypse when their eyes are hollow, little jimmy is sick from radiation and is pooping blood, the wife won't stop wailing about "the end of the world" and everyone is shitting in a bucket.

How do you survive your neighbors knowing that you have food or seeing that you seem fine after months

Or like random people seeing you on the street and you look well fed

Can't wait to prove all of Sup Forums wrong when IT happens, lmao

I hope to die
suburban shtf would be such misery and disgust I don't want to even think about it

>durrrr better prepare for the big bad gubberment
>stockpiles mostly food
>fat as fuck
>makes himself a massive target
>can't even spring to cover or bound to a target

Why do preppers neglect the one thing that will help them in a SHTF scenario?

If you can't run 100 yards without slowing down or gasping for air, you are dead in an apocalyptic scenario.

Literally the smartest thing to do is become a truck driver.

>truck driver
>shit hits fan
>have huge 18 wheeler full of food
>try to drive all the way to northern Canada
>find very isolated road in the middle of buttfuck nowhere
>survive the apocalypse with truck load of food

1. Best defense is shelter in place in a rural area

2. Food is always your biggest stockpile

>all those food supplies
>what looks like 5 bottles of water
These fuckers dehydrate and die in the first 3 days.

>don't have the self-control to maintain a BMI in the double digits
>thinks a food stock and a rural plot will save them

You're kidding, right? What happens when the insulin runs out?

>father and son are such lardasses.

They'll be out of food and dead by the next full moon.

>preparedness
>be fat unfit slop
great going murriburger

What is a 'well'

Get raided Mad Max style. But that's assuming you truck faggots still have a job in 15 years.

>eating canned foods
>over dose on xenoestrogens
>turn into a raging homosexual
>give cans of food to neighbours so them bum you
>die of aids

Retirement homes are required to keep a week or two of supplies for an emergency.

I can readily synthesize drugs and explosives and create weapons from a plethora of common goods.
I know how to grow food and hunt.

And I know how to market my talents. Having skills you can sell for goods is more important than stockpiling, because it allows you to adapt. What if you stockpile a bunch of food but food isn't in short supply?

Tip: Learn how to make and operate a chlorate cell.

>not eating canned foods
>eating contaminated siht
>become dead

Tyler?

youtube.com/watch?v=Nn3PQJ9PHLY

what do you do about fuel?

does that include a shotgun?

Lets see them a couple days into the apocalypse when i take his daughters as sex slaves

a fine source of water, until it gets polluted from fall out and you get to have luminescent eyes.

in Texas it includes light artillery.

Modern wells are sealed with the whole pump unit.

And you clearly don't know how fallout/ground water works, do you?

>a couple of days
Whoa, take it easy, Humungus. People's clothes haven't even gotten dirty yet.

>plan to be an apocalypse nigger
>cant fit through a standard size door
>hamplanet sized target
>confirmed larping faggot

Sadly this is the truth......

you shoot them...its shtf, not the bridge club

What about diesel and water

have fun eatin your bpa, get a rifle faggot

Just found that....you blew my mind tonight

chlorine.americanchemistry.com/Science-Center/Chlorine-Compound-of-the-Month-Library/Sodium-Chlorate-Providing-Emergency-Oxygen/

>diesel
biodiesel is the answer, easy to make.
>water
pretty easy to make a still, lots of lakes in canada, sure it wouldnt be hard to find a freshwater spring either.

All they're doing is extending the time of their deaths a few months or so.

Already have one, a qbz-03

>This poster is so afraid of meme-tier space estrogen he won't even eat canned foods to save his life

Electricity + salt water = damn fun time

Another tip: Instant cold packs(single use, not reusable) usually contain tech-grade ammonium nitrate. The ones I bought from CVS had nearly lab-grade, and to add, it was dry as a bone. Got a quarter pound of ammonium nitrate per pack. Expensive as shit, but clandestine. Good for use in explosives(a filler for gel dynamite as a prime example) or for making anhydrous ammonia gas for use in making meth.

Bumping just in case someone else wants the info. Info is good, info is GOD.

Final PS, maybe: A readily available CNS stimulant, very comparable to amphetamine(Adderall, Vyvanse) can be found completely OTC, no questions asked, from Walmart/etc. Benzedrex inhalers. They contain a drug known as propylhexedrine, as a freebase. Normally this shit is pretty rough, but if you do a simple solvent+acid extraction, you can make it into a salt that can be dosed to provide an extremely useful stimulant for alertness, etc.
One inhaler contains about 250mg of the drug, at about $5 an inhaler. This is about 2-3 doses(for functional use). Using Zippo fluid to extract the freebase, then applying HCl gas to the solution will cause the propylhexedrine to drop out as the hydrochloride salt. This salt can be desiccated and dosed very accurately in gelcaps(with a Gem20 scale) or vaporized in ejuice/an oil burner.
NOTE: Use L-Theanine, Magnesium Citrate, and L-Arginine to minimize side effects, particularly vasoconstriction.

> run out of fuel for heaters.
> freeze to death.

If SHTF I'll resort to human meat.

You'll be dead within a week

A boat is where its at, then you can find little islands to live on, catch fish, make friends with monkeys, eat coconuts, grow crops. uma delicia

>if SHTF

I was born ready.

>Preppers go on TV
>Brag about how prepared they are
>Become magnets for when SHTF

fucking retards. Their deaths will be swift and all the hard work they put in to prepare will be for the niggers that steal their shit.

What exactly are preppers prepping for, anyway?
Bad gubmint takin' them guns?
A comet impact?
Stock market collapse nr.23245?

Every prepper talks about different apocalyptic event, and all their prepping is limited to, is a house in buttfuck nowhere, with food and guns.

Do all preppers also forget that humanity's main strength is working in groups? If you want to survive anything, you have to make a whole community of survivalist people, lone wolfing will not take you far.

>oh how foolish were the 19th century goys to eat out of lead cans
> says while eating food out of an aluminum can

enjoy your early alzheimers doomtard

According to that pic, and taking the average size of a shelter in count, he's fucked lol.

Also I don't know what's in that bucket, but it's deffinetly not a good idea to leave it open.

>All that space inbetween the cans

Just stack them you moron.

Yup.

First thing I'd do in a collapse is join a gang and go and raid a prepper's home

>When the shit hits the fan, will you be ready?
nah i'll just die or something

No

A time when you can no longer just go to the shop and buy what you need to live. So all of that and more.

Had me 'a chucklin'

the medicine there > food

>YouTube will work when shit hits the fan

A lone family cannot survive this after the first raid. This does require a gated community, akin to a fort with agriculture around it. And all I see is funny houses stacked with food and guns, begging to be raided.

You can download the videos and create an offline library. Then all you need is a source of power like solar and a device.

I have been doing this with ebooks and videos, especially videos that could be important one day if i need them but i have little interest in now. Basically education books and vdeos and instructionals, how to do basic tasks, how to make clothes, grow food, kill animals, trap animals, fish, hunt, how to make rocket stoves. Lots of different useful topics. Medical books and videos also so you can survive.

This man gets it. You need your entire community to band together. You need various skillsets. You need something you can sell to your neighbors so they let you be part of the group.
Something as simple as a chemistry background, or sniping skill can win you a place in the group. As long as you have a skill the group can use, you're gold.

This family makes a nice target. Lot of loot.

Their females will make fine slaves too.

most preppers are not prepping for some crazy situation where having to actually band together would be a necessity. in this day and age if any situation actually got that bad were probably all fucked anyway.

I feel that keeping children for food is going a little bit over board. It's good to be prepared, though.

No. Living in fear is pointless. I would rather die desu

>actually band together would be a necessity
Every bad situation is like this - societal crash calls for new smaller societies based on ideals, pandemics call for society restart in small pockets, bad gubmint war on its people calls for a small army, the only thing that a prepper can survive is a local evacuation due to flooding, for example. I fail to understand their reasoning, honestly. If they want to prep for shit hitting the fan, that is perfectly fine, but at least do it properly, and with other likeminded people to support each other.

To prove my point, when I googled what they are prepping for:
secretsofsurvival.com/survival/doomsday-preppers-top-10-threats.html
Thermonuclear war?
Solar flare?
Asteroid impact?
Yellowstone?
Yea, good fucking luck surviving those alone.

>Not immediately murdering everyone you encounter to thin out the herd
You're not gonna make it.

What the fuck is wrong with Americans

underrated

no.

I'll survive for a few days, and die alone.

We have fallout shelters with food for more than 100% of our population, everywhere in my country. Every bridge and tunnel towards Switzerland has explosives and can be destroyed temporarily. Literally the safest place to be at is my country

>Not having an ounce of coke in your happening bunker

No, I am not Tyler. He isn't part of our neighborhood anymore and it wasn't even his idea in the first place. We got rid of him. The only good side is he made the people outside believe that we aren't a real threat, him being a maggot's ass weave away from 8 hundo and hardly light on his feet. Plus, we would have to find heavily stocked survivors in order to feed that fuck nightly.

They have the soul of a negro in the body of a farmyard animal, living the iron triangle of suburbs, job and store, negotiated by the use of a car in overcrowded highways.

As a result, almost every American feels a hidden rush of joy upon seeing pic related.

Mormons are the saviors of the white race. also to answer your question I have guns and ammo, so all the preppers who don't believe in guns are storing my stuff for me. if yaknowwatiamsayin'''

Day Of The Rope and/or peak human population causing widespread famine gets my vote.

kek

>Every bridge and tunnel towards Switzerland has explosives
havent most been removed recently?

I saved my solar sunglasses for when this masterpiece kicks off.

I will absolutely not be ready.

Coke's too fast. a-PHP is better. It has the power of meth without the serotonin softness, but lacks the utter batshittery of a-PVP.

Just eat pakis. That way you are solving two problems at once (and they probably taste spicy).

>Not huffing jenkem during the chimpocalypse

You seem like a knowledgeable guy. WIf you're familier with it, what's your opinion on "Assorted Nasties"? Do you think it's useful knowledge for prep like these other things you've mentioned so far?

Anyone sitting in his bunker stocked with beans n beers will be doing this regardless.

tl;dr america is one person

Americans are uniquely suited in their implicit embrace of nihilism. Americans thrive on chaos in a way no other developed country could possibly understand.

Ya'll are fucked if shit hits the fan.

At that point, you might as well just prep

wow so they have supplies for a month or two. incredible!

>If you can't run 100 yards without slowing down or gasping for air, you are dead in an apocalyptic scenario.
if you are out running around in an apocalyptic scenario, you are doing it wrong. that being said, I am not defending being fat.

Find your nearest Mormons. Prepping is part of their upbringing and they're all supposed to have at least a month's supply. Mormon churches themselves have years of supplies stockpiled.

Nope, you'll be smarted than that. There will be no doctors or functional hospitals around in a collapse. Injuries can become fatal, potentially. How much are you going to risk? Not the dangerous hard targets, you'll be picking off weak targets first. Only low IQ (sand)niggers with no regard for life and law in general would risk raiding a well prepared house.

I do the same as part of my prepping. I have the entire U.S. map offline on my phone, as well as all of Wikipedia, Wikitravel, a bunch of medical/wartime surgery manuals, plant and wildlife identification, etc.

>german flag
>a comment about efficiciency

checks out