Been on hrt for almost a decade now. Started in my early teens...

Been on hrt for almost a decade now. Started in my early teens, not early enough to not turn out a massive 6 foot tall tranny. Still not transitioned because when I came out to my parents a few months into hrt they went full ballistic on me and completely destroyed my self-confidence. I'm too damaged to ever become comfortable with myslf. Too ashamed to transition in their presence, too sympathetic towards them to completely cut them off while I do what needs to be done, too paralyzed by their reaction if I were to an hero myself. Im so tired. I just want this to end. I want someone to goad me into taking my life. Please help me.

To make it easier for you all, I am a literal Jewish Marxist.

How about you man up, keep your dick, and talk to a therapist cuz you obviously have nobody to confide with but anons.

Instead of succumbing to your mental illnes how about you don't larp as a woman and just fucking follow the natural order.

I don't want to confide lol I want to die.

No serious damage has been done beyond impotence. I'm guessing you never wanted children anyway.

Go off the hormones and work on being a good man. It's never too late to turn around.

Turn to Jesus and repent.

Nah fuck Jesus good thing my ancestors killed him.

kill yourself tonight. do not put this off. maybe you'll get a better roll of the five if there's a next time. either way you're taking up space and resources and you're too much of a failure to deserve them.

do it. do it now.

>Still not transitioned
>Been on hrt for almost a decade now
>when I came out to my parents a few months into hrt they went full ballistic on me
>Started in my early teen

so they didn't think it odd when you were growing tits?

>killed him

He's still alive and he can help you.

*dice

You shitheads post about the evils of the Jews every waking second and here comes a literal degenerate kike looking to get destroyed and you tell me to seek help? Bunch of fucking larpers you are.

kill urself poofter

Yeah they noticed the tits around month 5 and I was forced to come out.

We don't want you to an hero. We want to kill your ourselves.

I could give you people a time and a place to meet and none of you would dare to show up.

Have you ever read Ted Kaczyinski's writings on leftism being more of a psychological phenomenon than an ideological one?
Basically you see yourself as weak and lesser than you can be so you join with the weak and lesser people. You learned to resent things (whiteness, America, capitalism) not because they aim to be unfair but because you know, deep down, these things are better than you'll ever be.

ah, into=/=ago. i read it wrong.

Nah I'm pretty ideologically firm, I just want to die mate.

Why?

Just revert to a fuck normal dude who bangs chicks and lifts weights.

Either you're a genuine freakshow in need of help or this is terrible bait.

The proper response is for you to get your goddam life together because for all the shitty things that happen it really isn't half bad. Dedicate yourself to helping others rather than being a disgusting mess for someone to clean up after the act. If you really are on the verge of suicide then you have literally nothing to lose trying the pol method of fixing yourself.

Christ is always there for you.

why do you fall for these shill threads?

I wasn't talking about your ideologies, I was talking about your psychology.
It doesn't matter what your ideals even are when your psyche is objectively too soiled to actually rationalize them.

>went full ballistic on me

seems like a pretty natural reaction when finding out your adolescent son has been taking hormone therapy and growing jugs. i'd probably flip the fuck out too.

Memorize the lyrics to MASH theme song from the movie pls.

Do anything but post more threads about this okay? bye.

if this is true, (which it isnt) then kill yourself - nobody in this world wants you except the mentally ill

then kill yourself you stupid faggot
you deserve it and everything is all your fault

Dude, I wish I were baiting. This is my life, be thankful that you don't have to live like this. There can be no normality for me, death is the only escape.

I'm here to get the bravery to kill myself, not debate my psyche with you, lol.

>hurr hey guys come here at this time and kill me if ur not pussy xD

The sooner I'm dead the quicker I'll be off this site. Chop chop.

>There can be no normality for me

Why?

Obviously you're to mentally retarded to realize death isn't the only escape. You need to be 5150'd

What would even happen if you started taking testosterone at this point? Is any of it reversible?

>5150'd

code for what?

Your parents didn't raise you right because of your decision to go through HRT. I am sympathetic because you were mistreated as a child. But stop trying to be what you're not. You are too far deep to deal with being a man anymore, which is obvious. Just take a step back and be an effeminite male. Trans is not normal, not natural, and it most certainly will not make you happy, no matter what the your friends or whoever else have told you. Nothing feels more like a big 'fuck you' from life than phantom dick syndrome and a literally flesh wound between your legs that you have to stick something rigid inside of to keep your body from closing the wound.

you are a waste of oxygen

getting sent to a mental hospital involuntarily.

good to know.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

...

Dysphoria has tinted every moment of my existence for over half of my life, being trans isn't all fun and games.

I'm sterile, have tits, and largely female proportions in my bone structure because I started hormones so young. Basically I'd be ftm-lite.

I don't care about being natural, I'd be more than happy to live a tolerable existence even if it meant undergoing 20 surgeries.

You should try to find other Jews like yourself in the same situation. And find friends. And perhaps start a Jewish pride movement for homosexuality and trans rights.
So that the Jewish community will accept this more, and appreciate their gay and transexual sons and daughters.

I have nothing to feel proud of, I'd rather just die.

>even if it took 20 surgeries
You missed the point of my post. No amount of surgery is going to fix you. Your every post is a deflection for every kind of help or criticism you've recieved. You hate yourself way too much, and unfortunately you'll have to realize you're never going to fix yourself if you don't straighten up and take some help from the outside or go through with it and end yourself. You wouldn't have posted this thread if you didn't want help unless you're just a troll faggot. In which case you might as well indulge yourself and jump off a building.

Accept the fact that it is not possiable to 'change genders' as it would require massive amount of genetic engineering. Once you've accepted this fact, accept what you are - the gender that you where born as and was determined at the moment of conception by your parents. Then once you've accepted these two things, stop poisoning your body with the wrong hormones. Try to start lifting, getting in shape, and bettering yourself in every way you can. Don't waste the time and energy your parents put into creating and raising you, make them proud, you still can. Good luck user

why not move to the Philippians or Thailand...sunshine would do you good and you can live cheap...

I genuinely do not want help, I want to be made to feel so worthless that I no longer care what impact my death would have on my parents and I could go on with taking my life.

>suicidal tranny
Wow that's so rare.
You know the rules, post butthole or get out.

what is your diet like???? how much sunshine do you get....how much fast food do you eat??

>he has trouble killing himself
We just walk into the woods and eat a bunch of pills. It is easy

Yeah, we're a dime a dozen, aren't we? But I've got good news for you, for just a small investment of your time, you can eliminate one of us and make the world a mildly less degenerate place.

Such a bait thread. You didn't have hormones in early teens without parental consent. Retard larp

What are you accomplishing by putting it off, then? If you cared about your parents suicide would not be an option. You're fooling yourself as much right now as you were when you began HRT. No matter which route you take from here, you can only solve it by being honest. Either you're a piece of shit and you don't care about your parents enough to live, or you're mentally ill and need serious help to get your life back on track. But I guess fear is natural when you're on the edge. Just remember that you're going to make it worse the longer you keep yourself alive.

good point actually

inhousepharmacy.vu dude, for all of your self-medicated tranny needs.

>go to prison for killing a tranny that was going to kill themselves eventually
No thanks, I'll pass.

how the fuck do you get tranny drugs for years without your parents knowing? do you buy the shit from the same guy that sells black tar heroin?

Instead of looking for bravery to kill yourself, look for some to sort your shit out.
Getting sorted is the kind of thing that gets easier as you go along. The first steps are the hardest, but they're still easier than working up the nerve to kill yourself, I imagine.

You don't care about your parents. You're selfish. You don't pick gender. It's the only one you get. Just like life. Be thankful you didn't make the full transition.

I am a mentally ill piece of shit who doesn't care about their parents in the long term, what's holding me back is the knowledge that they put so much time into raising me and my death would have a massive impact, it would be devastating. That is the only hurdle. I'm an only child too, which makes the whole thing much harder for them. I know that there's no getting better, my sadness has only grown with the years, I just need that final push.

see I don't want advice from a dude with a confederate flag.

Hell yeah I'm selfish I'm trying to build up the courage to die what else is new?

transsexualism is more or less normalized. Just keep going, stay on the hormones, don't be another statistic. It'll get better eventually.

>Dysphoria has tinted every moment of my existence for over half of my life, being trans isn't all fun and games.

I know, I used to suffer the same.

I prayed to Jesus and it went away.

Nobody is going to give you the final push. You want to know how to find out if you have the balls? Find the tallest building around and climb the stairs. Think about what you're going to do when you get there. Think about what will happen to people you know. Think about everything, and when you get to the top, stand on the ledge. That's your ultimatum, and until you're there, you're going to be talking out of your ass and spouting nonstop platitudes on Sup Forums about your precious parents that you're willing to devastate and scar mentally for the rest of their lives because you can't have a vagina. Unfortunately that's the best I can do. I sincerely hope you slip off the edge, because people like you are hardly even worth saving in the end.

Same story here, pham. I hid my degeneracy for my family while I took hrt, but holding it all in for so long has made me dead inside. My mother even helped me pick a girl name after we reconciled, but I fear it's too late.

I don't know the answer either, desu. A-at least there were a few good years on estrogen, and a few moments of seeing a grill in the mirror. fml, tbqh.

No. You didn't.
Because you would have killed yourself already since of you get an imbalance in that shit you will either become insanely suicidal pretty damn fast, see truck tranny (ie fake tranny playing with hormones they know nothing about) or you would be insanely suicidal because you stopped taking the meds after knowing what it felt like to be on them.
There is a big difference from gender queer faggots playing pretend and the minority nobody ever sees because they keep to themselves. You are larping because either one of them would have liked themselves by now since you flipped your hormones multiple times.

>Im ftm transitioning.

AKA I`m actually a dude now where do I get their drugs online so I can get on junk and get shredded for the race war and so I'm farther away from a noodle armed soy boy.

I am genuinely curious OP.
What is so difficult about accepting you have a penis and you aren't a girl?
Why does this need to be such a large part of your identity?

Why don't you just simply accept yourself how you are, find a nice gay man and do unspeakable acts together?

Faggots will be Faggots

Fuck auto correct.if not of and later killed not liked

STOP PUMPING YOURSELF FULL OF ESTROGEN YOU RETARD.

I hope that you're right and that you never relapse, for your sake.

Thanks for the advice, will mull it over.

There's a lot of information out there on how to do this properly, unless you're a complete moron you're gonna be fine. see /lgbt/, there's a lot of information over there on self-medding.

I don't know dude I'm living it and it doesn't make much sense to me either. But this isn't my identity, this is something that haunts me regardless of whether I choose to indulge it or not. You can find plenty of trans people talking about their experiences online if you google around for a bit.

Don't be a fucking pussy kill yourself unironically

Question, do you live in california?

Nope.

kill yourself you fucking jew dog I hope your parents dance on your grave I'm sure they have other jew sons to fill your place

Have you ever been checked for having a improper brain for your gender or having parts you shouldn't? If not you're not beyond help, it just takes a proper diet and the CORRECT pills to fix the hormonal disaster thats being produced in your brain and stomach.

>implying we don't just want you to suffer as you slowly destroy your own body and mind over the next several decades.

Don't forget to chop your dick off faggot.

Yes and lgbt is full of morons who don't do proper blood testing which is why they are all Tumblr tier insane. Also most of them are gender queer faggot tranny pretenders who shouldn't be on meds. It's not safe to self medicate because bodies don't react the same to medications. Some people have allergies, some have tolerances, some have amplified reactions. There are certain levels your body is supposed to have to be in male or female range. Fake morons don't match this shit up right because they are pretenders looking for an attention high. Actual trannies use this shit like a depressed person uses an anti depressant. It's real similar. Most people pretending to be trannies or depressed aren't. Makes the medication not work and often ends in social thoughts.

Like I said. If you stopped your meds and haven't killed yourself because you can't have them anymore you aren't a tranny and are just looking for attention.

So full body with tits or gtfo

Have you considered not living a lie and accepting that you're a man?

Sup Forums
sa ge

T. Larper

I'm outta here.

Nice almost triply repeated digits.
Honestly, the only real option is just to reveal yourself to your only true family, which is Sup Forums. You should just share your feminine penis with all of us here for our delectation and enjoyment. Bonus points if you can make it hard still.

I'm not intersex if that's what you're asking. Most trans people aren't either and most intersex people aren't trans.

Because if I'm not dead then I will become an ideologue and I will make your job all the harder when you try to live out your white ethnostate fantasy.

When did I say anything about stopping? I would never stop for as long as I'm alive.

You think I haven't tried, brody? Nice reaction pic there ha ha trannies are so funny xD xD xD

>rich enough to afford hormones
>wanting to kill self

I think your perspective is fucked.

I had a gay dude in my class in high school. Flamboyant, typical gay. I graduated and didn't see him for like 12 years. In that time he had fully transitioned. I saw him again when I started dating this girl I really liked in high school and asked him flat out if he felt any better now that he had transitioned. He started telling me about all of the shit he had gone through and that no one in his life asked him honestly about it. He said the men he tried to get with knew he wasn't a woman and all of the relationship ended shortly thereafter. He said it was a mistake to transition but he can't go back now.
He knows he is not a woman but he can't be a man either anymore because now he has no penis and has to have hormones therapy no matter which way he goes. His life is fucked.
I don't know what you think cutting your body up will accomplish but it's definitely not going to be what you think. It's not going to make people like you any better because in the end, nobody cares what you look like on the outside. If you lie to people, that's what they know about you.
Keep your balls, keep your dick cause they don't grow back. Your parents seem to care about you, give them a chance and if you wanna suck some cock and find a gay waifu, fucking go out there and do it...there'a all sorts of freaks out there. Go find yours without mutilating yourself.

>I'm sterile, have tits, and largely female proportions in my bone structure because I started hormones so young. Basically I'd be ftm-lite.

are you at least hot? or are you a scary man tranny?

See a therapist and don't listen to any thing else people in this horrible hate filled place tell you.

Prove it you faggot. Pics with timestamp. You know the fucking rules.

Here, You need to call this girl up on the phone. Look her up. Her name's Michelle.

...

Not being broke is enough for some people to fulfill their aspirations. Not me though, I'm too weak to take advantage, unfortunately.

I don't care so much about what other people (besides my parents) think of me as much as what I think of me. And I think that I'm a monster.

Man face.

You sound nice, user. Please get off this site.

Fuck off I'm not your porn repository.

>Because if I'm not dead then I will become an ideologue and I will make your job all the harder when you try to live out your white ethnostate fantasy.

Wew boy, one more mentally unstable tranny among our enemies ranks. I'm shaking in my jackboots.

I don't know you, but i love you, and i hope you find happiness.
/lgbt/ tho

Like I said. You are fake and gay. A larping piece of trash. I hope you do kill yourself though for wasting people's time in this thread. You won't though, because you are a lying faggot.

What do I care if you think I'm a larper? I'd find better things to do than posting on this shithole, that's for sure.

>hasn't done anything with life
>monster
Whatever, don't really care but it seems like your problems have nothing to do with "wanting to be a woman" and you just want the attention.
Peace, good luck. Seek professional help or don't.

Not monster in the sense of a wicked person, more like I feel hideous and deformed.

Lol. please pol help me jump. I've got better things to do. Totally not larping. K. Have fun you kike shill.

I mean you are.