I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOURSELVES, Sup Forums

…because you just killed the most innovative company of the decade:

juicero.com/company-news/

Explain yourselves!

Other urls found in this thread:

bloomberg.com/news/features/2017-04-19/silicon-valley-s-400-juicer-may-be-feeling-the-squeeze
m.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ
youtube.com/watch?v=PvK9_13eMJA
youtube.com/watch?v=PCRx78Zhj7s
youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overengineering
hooktube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ
twitter.com/AnonBabble

You're anti-sucitic if you're against fresh pressed juice

No one is buying this shit since it was discovered to be useless earlier this year. You could squeeze the bags and get the same amount of juice as the machine produced. Even more so beacuse each glass costs around $5, about as much as a sack of organic fruit.

bloomberg.com/news/features/2017-04-19/silicon-valley-s-400-juicer-may-be-feeling-the-squeeze

If you consume anything but homegrown chlorella protein bars, you're a cuck.

>makes it impossible for third parties to make juice packs
>have to shut down because you can't afford to do it all yourself
Its like magic

But I gave them an excellent idea on how to copy protect the bags so that they can only be juiced in the juicer, they just had to introduce poison into the bag which only the proprietary juicer would extract.

Maybe they'll come back with this implemented under a different company name.

> black ice
> in real life
It's like we're living in the future

What kind of retard would pay 400 bucks for a juicer?

Is there a /quickrundown/ on this topic? What did Sup Forums do now? Did this company comment on multiculturalism issues?

JUICE
WITH
DRM

They can take this ijuicer and shove it up their fuckin ass.

>In a short period of time, you’ve validated that there is national demand for easier access to fresh produce and hassle-free cold-press juicing — thank you again for coming on this journey with us.

Is this smarm?

Grow a carrot you fucking dumb kraut lol

Juicero was a bi topic on pol a few months (year?) ago, with their outrageous juice tactics and trying to juice money from the hipsters.
They just proved that with juice you lose.

The machine was over built and expensive as fuck

m.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ

>company makes a juice machine
>Google buys it out or something
>Juicer costs something like $700
>then you have to buy juice packets
>the juicer scans a QR code on the packets and squeezes juice out of the packets
>people find out that you can just squeeze the packets by hand and get the same result, without the $700 juicer
>media field day at this obsolete "smart" juicer that's has millions of dollars in investments
>juicer price drops to $400
>and is now bankrupt for being absolutely retarded and useless

Im calling Merkel you little racist

Finally someone legitimately killed the juice! Not a hoax for once.

isn't that the $400 junk heap that works ONLY on proprietary bags that also cost a shit ton, and squeezing it by hand works just as well?

jesus fuck why would you buy this?

Don't forget needing to log in and being online, someone was getting scammed somewhere when this was greenlit.

>DRM Juicer
>Innovative
>When there is already a variety of excellent (and superior) juicer machines
Hm, I think their shitty approach to business is what killed them

this

when do you reckon they'll ban analog tools and raid your house for every nut, bolt, hammer and hatchet, whilt demanding you replace them with gps enabled bluetooth digitized ones

>thank you for coming on this journey with us
no it's not smarm its how people in palo alto think

It's just a year or two before its time. The exact same philosophy worked for all the other internet-of-things/mass-surveillance gadgets so far.

yeah, too bad most people can't afford and don't want glitzy shovelware.

>Juicero is a company that formerly made a device for fruit and vegetable juicing. The company's product was called the Juicero Press, a Wi-Fi connected juicer that uses single-serving packets of chopped fruits and vegetables sold exclusively by the company by subscription. The San Francisco-based firm received $120 million in startup venture capital starting in 2014, from investors including Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers and Alphabet Inc.[1] On September 1, 2017, the company announced that it suspended sales of the juicer and the packets.
Literally a money laundry scheme by goolag.

youtube.com/watch?v=PvK9_13eMJA

juice is a human right this should have been subsidized by the government

The insides where pretty impressive from the AvE teardown vid. I'd give them credit for that.

youtube.com/watch?v=PCRx78Zhj7s

Not even a juicer it's a press that squeezes juice.

how do you grow protein bars you fucking idiot?

By growing the chlorella and then extracting the protein.

So they are ending their company because they couldn't lower prices even though the product was already selling at the higher price?

Put a pregnant cockroach in a matchbox?

Ivanka had one.

>with juice you lose.
kek

If you want a juice presser, save up for a real-deal Norwalk Hydraulic Press Juicer

or just eat a fucking carrot you fucking nigger who is too lazy to chew

I guess that's what happened to her fathers balls then.

It wasn't really selling that well, and their major touted advantage of the precision of the device wasn't really worth it because you could just open up the fucking bag and pour it out.

They made the same mistake as Keurig, but even worse. What they SHOULD have done was had some kind of patent on the juice packet design, then let third parties make juice packets for it and get a small cut on each bag.

Instead, they made all the juices that worked with it themselves (complicates things AND limits the potential variety) and they even made it require a wireless connection so it wouldn't squeeze if the juice packet was recalled (which is retarded).

are you growing to eat a home grown apple pie next you? lmao fucking moron

>Inb4 the juicer was actually a Bitcoin mining rig with a juice gimmick
700$? Always online? For juice? No fucking way

>junk heap

it's funny because as shown here the machine is easily worth $1000+.

they were hoping to be the main player on a juicer style keurig but it didn't work out.

people still want a juicer with no mess involved so there's bound to be less costly copycats coming.

i hate juice

removing the fiber through pressing is scientifically proven to make nutrients more bioavailable

youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ

nice teardown

BASED summary
>I bloody juice them bloody bastard fuckers.

I came here to post this

>…because you just killed the most innovative company of the decade:

Nothing but overpriced tat for hipsters.

Where's my fucking flying car?

Oh, it was also completely overengineered. You could have probably gotten almost as good of a squeeze of the packet with substantially less expensive parts. They really needed a juicer that could hit like a $200 price point on sale, $400-$700 for a single function appliance is way too expensive.

And because of the wifi shit you can literally be unable to have the machine press, so have fun trying to troubleshoot your juicer's wifi.

>But I gave them an excellent idea on how to copy protect the bags so that they can only be juiced in the juicer, they just had to introduce poison into the bag which only the proprietary juicer would extract.

Cro-user. You owe me a new fucking keyboard. I nearly choked to death when I read that.

Have 1 free internet.

>m.
an hero faggot

>>In a short period of time, you’ve validated that there is national demand for easier access to fresh produce and hassle-free cold-press juicing — thank you again for coming on this journey with us.

Palo Alto speak for "We fucked up, but we need to set it up so with the investors for the next hipster bullshit company that we pass the begging bowl round for that this was somehow a prototype that proved the concept".

Fucking LARPing at running a business.

>griplets can't enjoy juice now

>decided to buy the Juicero

This bitch is advising her father? What the actual fuck.

>removing the fiber through pressing is scientifically proven to make nutrients more bioavailable

and to increase the carb load and cause diabetes

>>decided to buy the Juicero
>This bitch is advising her father? What the actual fuck.

If money is no fucking object (i.e. daddy being a billionaire and leader of the free fucking world) then why the fuck not?

Sure, some dumb cunt spunking good money for bullshit, but she'd only fucking spend it on shoes or some other shit.

At least the juice is tasty and convenient, even if it is about $7 a cunting glass.

This is so odd but satisfying to watch.
such joy over nothing.

You guys don't understand. This was aimed at an upper-class San Francisco audience. Their clientele makes more money in one week than you do in three months.

There was nothing wrong with their business model until poorfags turned it into a meme. That killed the product because it made rich people feel bad about buying it. The internet literally memed Juicero out of business.

Chew and eat the fucking vegetables. Cook a meal, chew and eat them.

Drink water, tea, coffee, chamomile, sage, hibiscus, cocoa.

>juicer
Fucking nu-male faglets.

>There was nothing wrong with their business model until poorfags turned it into a meme. That killed the product because it made rich people feel bad about buying it. The internet literally memed Juicero out of business.

Ace. Who's fucking next then?

I know at least two people that juice but won't even purchase or take a multivitamin. I hate people.

>implying the vast majority of San Franciscans aren't poor as shit because they fell for the San Francisco meme
>implying anyone rich enough to think the Juicero isn't retarded isn't rich enough to afford a Mexican to make fresh juice

Multi-vitamins are a meme. You piss most of it away. Just eat a balanced diet.

>Multi-vitamins are a meme. You piss most of it away. Just eat a balanced diet.

Reasonable alternative though if you can't afford a balanced diet. 100% RDA of multivitamins are like $2 for 100.

any faggot that unironically uses a juicer needs to have the shit beat out of him

not because he uses a juicer, but because of what it says about his character

It was a venture capital sort of thing where you could get the hip new startup to put it in the break room. It never got to the point where that startup employee could afford it with his insane San Fran rent.

>At least the juice is tasty and convenient,
and packaged in estrogenic petrochemicals that will give you cancer and make you sterile?

yeah no thanks I'll just have a banana

I have ripped a lot of shit apart and I have never, ever seen this level of build quality in anything
this is like a WWII analog artillery computer combined with a motorcycle transmission

Unless your diet is literally just ramen and soda, your meme-vitamins are doing more harm to your kidneys than good.

It's beautiful.

>Trying to be healthy is a negative psychological indicator.
Ok.

>I have ripped a lot of shit apart and I have never, ever seen this level of build quality in anything
>this is like a WWII analog artillery computer combined with a motorcycle transmission

To squeeze a fucking bag empty...

IIRC she trashed it

I'm thinking about buying a new piano because balanced diet saves me so much neetbux. "Balanced/healthy diet is expensive" is even bigger and more ridiculous meme than multivitamins or juicers.

it's like carving a perfect replica of david and using it as a door stop at the pub.

this is an engineer's masterpiece being used to apply pressure to bags..

>not growing your own apples for your own homemade pies
Fucking pleb

...

AVE did a nice teardown of one of these

all things considered the quality of the components and engineering of the press is fucking god-tier, like really fucking good

>all things considered the quality of the components and engineering of the press is fucking god-tier, like really fucking good

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Overengineering

>People on this board think it failed when in reality they managed to spend 120 million dollars.
People who were supposed to get paid, GOT PAID. It was huge scam success under the pretense of stupid idea.

Absolute madman

juice isn't healthy you retarded subhuman shitstain

you are exactly the type of faggot that needs the shit beat out of him, thank you for providing a perfect example

Obviously all the money to be made was in the juice packets themselves, so they should have focused on only that market and nothing else. Make the simplest possible press. Something with a couple gears, a couple plates, and a lever. Something you could give away for free for anybody who signs up for a 6-month/1-year subscription to the juice packets. Let other companies manufacture the fancy versions of the machine.

Patent the bag and work out deals. If someone wants to figure out a way to juice freeze dried ice cream into a strawberry milkshake or some shit, they can pay you some of the money in royalties.

Without the need for some $700 hyper press that cut way to much into their profits to design and build anyways, they could have legit made this a Keurig type concept. Nobody is going to bring a fucking juicer into work and clean up that mess. This shouldn't be a home product. This should be an on the go product. K-cups are being used in nearly every office anywhere, and these juice packets could have been the same way.

All they needed to do was focus on distribution and availability, and they'd have a pragmatic, innovative product. Leave it to the completely disconnected-with-reality Silicon Valley cucktards to try and sell it as a digital, IoT lifestyle product instead. Not everything has to be a fucking tech product. They deserve to lose every dollar they lose.

I've had 3 patents, not of which earned a fucking penny, since you actually have to have a mountain of cash to defend a patent which I never had.

As for the "patent the bag, not the juicer", there are bags which have been around for decades used for intravenous supply of blood, medication, etc.

These bags are dirt cheap to manufacture in quantity and well out of patent.

Therefore any competitor would simply ignore the fact that juicero has a patent for their bags and simply design and manufacture bags for a generic machine and sell both (bags to the fruit companies at cost of production, machines and finished product to consumers at a profit)

>have to have a mountain of cash to defend a patent
>$125 million in VC funding
Good thing they're not you...

Also, you don't patent the plastic bag itself, you dipshit. You patent the idea of putting fruit and vegetables into a press-for-juice packet.

Just buy a Ninja blender

>You patent the idea of putting fruit and vegetables into a press-for-juice packet.

Except Cuisinart were doing exactly that in the mid 1970's on their executive model. Didn't take off outside of New York because of distribution problems.

....Which is why I said the money is in focusing on the distribution and availability 2 posts ago. Read.

you should patent a new way of castrating niggers, it would be OK if they infringed on that patent

I made OC for this thing a while back actually.

>I made OC for this thing a while back actually.

Fool. You should have patented it!

Kek

the fuck are you talking about?
Freshly made vegetable juice is good for you.
Maybe commercial orange juice full of sugar and cornsyrup is bad for you, but don't drink that shit anyway

>Buy our press and our bags of pre-packaged juice
>Fresh Juice!
It was retarded from the start

>hooktube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ
Wonderful, startupfags detached from reality deserve to lose every last cent they have. Burn it all down.

Why did Hitler say his Breakfast was ruined?
"I blame the Juice"

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA