How does one become Jewish?

How does one become Jewish?

If Jews control the world, what's stopping me from becoming Jewish and also controlling the world?

Jew DO control the world right??

Other urls found in this thread:

beingjewish.com/conversion/becomingjewish.html
youtube.com/watch?v=Mcf9CLMQuRQ
twitter.com/AnonBabble

I don't even believe that but even I see you being coy..

hahahahahahah he doesn't "believe it"

your belief means a lot senpai

tl;dr

>How does one become Jewish?
You need Jewish mitochondrial DNA. So your mother needs to be a real Jew, or someone in your mother's lineage needs to have married a Jewess, and your mother needs to be a descendant of her.

If I marry a Jewish woman will I become Jewish?

Cut your dick off and shove it up your ass. Abra Kadabra SHOAH!!!!! You're a Jew.

That's offensive. Watch what you say.

You can only become a pretend Jew, not a real one. It's something you're born with. Your sons and daughters could be, if you marry a real one however.

You can become a jew, and you kids will be jewish, but it's not like with christianity or islam.
It takes years and the rabbi will regularly mess with you and try to dissuade you, like a rit eof passage thing.
You're basically joining the tribe, it's more than just a religion, but yes potentially anyone can do it.
All you get is a stupid hat and an ugly wife though, so most don't

But when do I get to control the world?

youre a huge pussy

also, you cant convert to judaism. meaning you will never become a jew.

also report this thread

High tier international jews are on another level, they're like the ancient vampires from Blade 2.
This life is not accessible to you

So, you want to become Jewish. I applaud your goal.

Becoming Jewish is, as you realize, a significant and life-changing event. It is not a small matter by any means.

But before you start, consider a few things. When a Gentile wants to become Jewish, the Rabbis are required to try to dissuade him. Only the very sincere make it through the entire process. And the process can take a long while. It may not turn out to be easy.

Becoming Jewish means that most of what you were taught about spirituality until now will be irrelevant, and in many cases wrong. You must drop the religious beliefs taught you by whatever other religion(s) you once followed or read about. People sometimes ask me, "Can I convert to Judaism and still believe in Jesus?" The answer is no. This is not something negotiable in Judaism. Jewish doctrine about G-d is core and inviolate. Non-Jewish beliefs about G-d invalidate a conversion (and Jesus is a prime example of a non-Jewish belief about G-d, no matter what anyone tells you). So this could be a major change for anyone contemplating conversion to Judaism. If this is difficult for you, then you should not be considering conversion at all.

You must also accept the fact that it is Hashem's Torah that defines what is right and what is wrong, what is spiritual and what is mundane, what elevates a person and what lowers him. Human beings do not make those determinations, and every such decision that a Rabbi makes is based on Torah precedent, i.e., established Jewish Law.

Your life style will also change, as well as the way you think about many things. Even the meaning of some words will change, especially if you have been Christian: words like "confession," "heaven," "patrilineal descent," "Messiah," "savior," and others.


beingjewish.com/conversion/becomingjewish.html

when you make your first billion.
anyone can become a level 1 jew by conversion and circumcision but that's literally just an entrance to the pool of candidates which already numbers about 15-20 million people
you can only become a top jew by proving your worth. specifically by making obscene amounts of money. once you've done that, I believe you're approached by the higher circles with an invitation of sorts
most jews will never be able to do it. the only advantage we get is that we're considered an effective potential scapegoat that should be kept alive to be sacrificed strategically when the time and circumstances are right, instead of being seen as completely irrelevant chaff like goyim that can be killed or driven to bankrupcy for sport
you will however be often shunned and hated by non jews, since they can't see a jew's jewing level by simple observation, and some are too stupid to even understand the concept of jew levels in the first place.
basically Jew is a template. you gain the Jew subtype in addition to any others you already have but take a permanent -2 penalty to charisma

Ok, I don't believe that "Jews control the world," but I think this is an unfair argument against those that do.

Most people who believe that really believe something like "the set of people who control the world are disproportionately Jewish". There are plenty of Jewish people not in that set, and if you become Jewish you will probably continue to not be in that set.

some things to consider:
the 6 million thing is a recurring event: purposes may include eugenics, population control, forcing remaining ones to be united, and religious (only so many fitting in the gold cube thing(heaven/spaceship/survival shelter?) at the end)
their messiah hasn't come yet; any rich wannabe messiah (like the rothchilds) have to preform a list of tasks to become messiah, amongst other things moving Jews to Israel, and they are willing to kill Jews indirectly to do it

N...no g..goy.. We do not control anything. We are merely merchants.

youtube.com/watch?v=Mcf9CLMQuRQ

Stages of antisemitism:
>Jews did nothing wrong
>Why so many jews has power?!
>Jews control world >:(
>Jews control world :"(
>How to become Jew?

Many Jews consider themselves a seperate race, they see whites as inferior.

As such you can't be a Jew, or at least they won't aid you as they do other proper jews.