Going to boot tomarrow

going to boot tomarrow
any advice?

lie down on a grenade

Kick some ass I guess?
>inb4 Zionist pig dog
>inb4 shitstorm

If I ever end up with a man like this I want to be shot immediately

if you ever end up with a man you deserve to be shot

Spike a butter bar with a 2/0 on the grade. Wax the deckers with your cum sock.

Just prepare your asshole. Privates are fuckmeat for anyone corporal and above no questions asked. You do get used to it after a while but it's still no fun.

I would agree if I were a dude

vasaline in your socks

If you're not willing to bathe him in puddin, you'll never find yourself a goodin.

ARE YOU READY FOR THE GREEN WEENIE?

bang the girls
take pictures
report back

>not shooting the """man"""

Prepared to get raped by chads. They are gonna hold you down and go to town on your asshole and if you tell on them they'll all say you're a homo with shit on your own fingers because you dun greased yourself.

jerk off
twice

What branch I leave for great mistakes in a week

Don't do stupid shit like sneak out of the barracks. Learn your Chain of Command (names, rank). The rest they will teach you. Most importantly remember this: it's going to suck. They will try to fuck you mentally. Just remember that once you're out, shit will be much more relaxed. Probably.

suggest you go with a Suicide Squad theme, Puddin

Make sure you smuggle in poppers through your asshole and vaseline.

Sniff the popper and grease up your butthole, it will hurt less.

You forgot to tell him to pull the pin, it will be more interesting if he pulls the pin before laying down on it.

It's honestly not a big deal, just don't psych yourself out. Yeah it's not the most pleasant experience but as long as you are of decent mental fortitude and in good shape there's really nothing to it and it will be over before you know it once you get into the routine.

There was one dumb kid we had who kept getting fucked by all the niggers so he tattled to the sgt like a bitch and then found out they're into even more fucked up shit. That guy can't even shit regularly anymore they ruined his asshole so bad.

tits or gtfo

First they yell at you, then they teach you for a few weeks, then you pass a few tests, then you graduate.

Count yourself lucky you don't have to shine boots anymore. I sucked at it so bad, I started using Lincoln Wax.

>serving alongside niggers
man the US military must suck

Don't they have an optional workshop weeks before you leave that teaches you how to read maps, what ranks look like, do the exercises etc?

tits or gtfo

>bathtub
>pudding
is real
wrf I thought that stuff was a gross joke

That aspect is truly horrendous, but if you were able to get a good MOS (job) it's worth dealing with on top of the pay and all the benefits. Also makes you super desirable to women both economically and attractive wise

volunteer for everything! it will show you have a can do attitude. you can thank me later.

There is no God until we eliminate the likes of this...thing.

Just out of curiosity, how old and how many times how you had sex?

1. Bring nose hair scissors. With round tips.
2. Don't volunteer for anything.
3. Don't answer questions, lurk moar.
4. Don't worry if you don't shit for the first week or more.
5. Don't worry about checking out the old fat ugly chow hall ladies after a few months without any bitches, it's only natural.

Don't stand out until you're ready to. Volunteer for everything if you can. Don't be afraid to fail - just don't fail twice.
Be prepared to drink a fuck ton of liquid with meals. It's weird but it's gonna be forced.
Wake up before rev in morning to shave. Shave twice if need be. Help others as much as you can because you'll need help at times doing shit too.
Make friends, have some laughs here and there, and embrace the suck.

kek

Arrive looking normal as possible. No hippie hair, no beard, no crazy clothes. You don't want to stick out. One kid in my group showed up with shoulder length hair. He was harassed 10x as much the entire time.

WHY THE NOSE SCISSORS