Be me

>be me
>British
>wake up to the smell of me mums famous bubbly washy wishy in the hole with crumpets
>eat breakfast
>go to work
>walkin the tube
>cctv camera catches me doin the leg movey without my walking license
>get fined hundred quid an a six pence
>walk past school and see Muslim gang kidnap school girls
>part and parcel an all tha
>get to the underground
>get on train
>forget to thank the disabled black transgender conductor
>bobby tackles me to the ground
>oi bruv, das not banter dats omophobic u gotta go t' jail m8
>get arrested. Late for work
>boss sacks me
What's it like in your country Sup Forums? The line to the dole is a slow one today

>Be me
>Jew
>Lurking Sup Forums
>See a terrible thread a bong made in a terrible attempt to be funny
>Doesn't contribute to the board or discussion in any way, just causes me to cringe at the shitty attempt at humor
>Sage it and report it
>Continue lurking

That's life in my country senpai.

Wasn't tryna be funny goy. Only wanna culturally enrich the board. I thought you kikes, loved multiculturalism??

>>Be me
>>Jew

Kill Yourself.

> be aussie cunt
> hometown is 92% white
>work is 98% white
> live far enough away from city, Muslims and Sudanese.
>comfy

>be master baiter
>suck at baiting
masturbate instead

>be me
>go to work
>year after year live in the same neighborhood, take the same route to work, visit the same shops, visit the same entertainment places, visit the same school to vote
>year by year less Whites, less English, more mexicans, chinese and indians
>neighborhood is now 50% those groups
>was probably just 5% 10 years ago
>voting literature and instructions at the school is now in English and spanish
>tfw I might be the last White man in my neighborhood in another 10 years

t. Marylander

Just fucking nuke us already and our bullshit sanctuary cities

I lived in London for a year when my band was signed in the UK. I was mostly touring but fuck you London - shit house place.
>shitty public transport
>bearded posers
>REEKS OF CLASS TENSION
>rotten chubbster females
>goat stew
>goofy pretension
>extreme fandom
>no fresh food
>think they have fresh food
>have ever had actual fresh food
>had to fly to France to get a meal after 6 months because I was going mental because of lack of fresh food
>tesco
>foodlands
>wetherspoons
>scummy run down shithole pubs
>parklife
>fruli
>A and R people in leather jackets
>knife bins
>'bethnal green'
>'mile end'
>bad plumbing
>terraced housing
>Addison Lee
>old people trying to be cool
>BBC

I hate London.
Every shop is owned/run by foreigner
No English people to be seen.

>wake up to the smell of me mums famous bubbly washy wishy in the hole with crumpets
Incest porn is not allowed here.

>be me
>live in UAE
>wake up
>order McDonalds Delivery
>food arrives
>sleep

Fuck I hate England

Is it true that Vimto's a very popular drink in the Arab world?

Foookin rat shut it

Maybe Saudi, but not that I've seen here.

>Live in 99.9% white town
>Decide to take gf to London for the day (shes foreign)
>Get on train
>Hour later arrive in kings cross, step off onto the platform
>Immediately have acid thrown in my face, then get run over by Muslims driving vans
>In the middle of a train station but they built a special access road to allow them to drive up to crowds inside more easily since its their culture
>GF and I crawl outside to begin our tourist shit
>Whisper in her ear "I hope we don't offend the Muslims"
>Suddenly sirens go off, police drones immediately lock onto my face through facial recognition software despite it being half melted off in acid attack
>XENOPHOBIC COMMENT DETECTED
>Get beheaded in the street by passing Muslim before police can arrive to arrest me

>be a new
> be a subversive little shit

>Be jew
>Smother made me wash her feet again last night
>Lash out at innocent bong
>Still thinking about her carbuncles and the pleasurable moaning sounds she made as I rubbed them
>Hate the goy even harder

>be me wake up in green bong land
>church bong bongs the morning bongs
>wakey wakey toast and marmite
>wife looks tired of feeding the baba but it's her job rite?
>of she pops to work
>get my feet up while babby gets a bit more shut eye
>get a quick wink of sleep
>mid day bongs
>shit better feed the little one
>feed him, change him, play with the little rapscallion
>take him on a walk in the green and pleasant
>get chased by cows, cheeky buggers
>back to the house chuck the wee one in his walker
>start dinner, chuckle cause it's local cow
>have a chat to the neighbors wives and the local grans everyone loves little fella
>wife comes home, hand over shitbag to her and go for a run.
>come home shoot the shit with her, eat the beef casserole, have dinner... OI OI
>shitpost on the board if peace
>wife goes to bed
>feed lite little shit machine & follow her up.

going back to work in a few months is gonna bite

Anyone got the pasta where the narrator neglect rapes his assigned transgender wifesband/huswife and gets arrested by robots for hate crime?

You should move

That's an ugly suit.

>be me
>australian
>wake up
>have mental problems and be scared of everything
>want to cry but cant
>check for spiders
>check for snakes
>all clear
>go outside
>get beheaded by newly imported rohinga muslim
>head holes raped by bogans
>body cooked by chinks
>such is life

>be Australian
>go outside
>see abbo
>go back inside
>hear annoying and crazy bird sounds
>become addicted to heroin

>be me
>latvian
>wake up, am alive
>drink coffee
>go outside
>car's not stolen
>start it, wait for temperature
>drive to school
>avoid roadblocks due to accidents
>avoid broken road bits
>finish school
>repeat the car bit
>avoid going out for safety
> go to sleep

>wake up
>eat cheese sandwhich
>kiss my wifes boyfriend goodbye
>go to work
>take the train thats one and a half hour late
>take the bus to work thats another half an hour late
>moroccan rape gang kicks an old lady off her bike
>at work
>drink coffee with coworkers all day
>go home
>junkie thats high on coke is yelling at people
>be home
>eat stamppot andijvie with a rookworst
>stoner son is passed out from weed and xtc again
>die of cancer

>Be me
>Belgian
>Wake up with thunderstorm outside
>Turn TV on
>2 million scandals in our french socialist party
>Mfw I have to hear french in the morning
>They still have major power
>go outside and try to catch a buss: on strike
>use bike on shitty mostly broken pavement
>go to trains: on strike
>try to get a cab: on strike
>Go home and try to get out by plane: workers on strike or totally useless
>Try to walk dog in hometown: goes on strike and doesn't look like home anymore
Go home and hear Slager music
tries to call suicide line: on strike
Go to bed

Based Jew

> live in alabama
> fuck my cousin
> shoot the gun
> Go to work
> drive big truck home
> fuck my sister
> ROLL TIDE

Preferred method to be Belgian:
>in 2001
>wake up
>entire government in child sex ring
>in 2017
>Junker frequents country to ruin Europe
>realise you are only non-muslim in country
>become muslim
>buy sniper rifle
>snipe Junker
>claim islamophobia
>levitate
>glow
>ascend
>put on concert of all greatest musicians living and dead because of your new super powers
>bake a perfect flan
>realise that you are still in Belguim
>become junkie high on coke yelling at co-workers
>realise that Belgium is pretty much a broken concrete slapped into a pile of mud
>remember about entire government being part of a child rape circle in 2001
>give up

>In the middle of a train station but they built a special access road to allow them to drive up to crowds inside more easily since its their culture
audible kek

>be me
>be bulgarian
>wake up, go to work
>make enough money to sustain myself, afford a new car, modern technology, vacation and even save a bit
>live a normal life

Yeh, you were expecting something else, weren't you?

>Live in Israel
>wake up
>open TV
>terrorist killed
>eat Hummus
>go to sleep

>wake up
>open TV
>soldier that killed the terrorist is arrested
>eat Shawarma
>sleep

>Wake up
>Another terrorist attack in Al Aqsa
>In response, magnetometers are deployed
>Palestinians riot
>magnetometers are removed
>eat Falafel
>sleep

>wake up
>Get called into service
>16 Palestinian children throw rocks at me
>Can't shoot them
>Catch one and punch him in the face
>Arrest him
>Someone captured me punching him, getting arrested.
>give up

I remember life in belgium.

>wake up to french rap the little niggers on my supposedly high class street listen to
>walk to the metro
>past the eu commission building, suddeny everybody looks the same and men dont have a jaw
>walk in store for breakfast
>pay 10 euros, the equivalent of a whole day of good, solid meals in Bulgaria
>metro on strike
>go take a taxi
>taxis on strike cause they want a vacation too
>see smug STIB and all transport fucks walking around having the day of their lives off work
>streets full of burqas because they are not in the metro
>pass the barber shop I got a haircut where I know almost for a fact they also assemble bombs
>go to work
>check my bank account
>70% of my income that people back home marvel at went to rent and taxes and fees
>at least I might eventually buy real estate that might allow me to travel when i retire

I know suburbs were ok, but its still REALLY not what people think it is.

Dutch trains are very punctual i found

Lucky fucking cunt.

Best in the world.

>be me
>live in britian
>go to work
>constantly see attractive white girls with nigger boyfriends
>also see older white women with niggers plus their 3 niglets
>on a busy day I would see 10+ coalburners

>be me
>leave driveway
>pass idly dosa shop
>pass halal sandwich shop
>pass jose's taco shop
>get to work
>only white guy
>everyone speaks broken english or spanish
>culture clashes based on body odor
>ibim bin alwi mohammad jihad doesn't wear deodorant or shower for weeks
>culture clashes based on stinky lunches
>patel patel just microwaved his decaying vegetable and frankincense glop
>culture clashes based on arranged marriage
>"ohhh yusss, fatima have to sex muh pee pee for she cannot dee-vorce me, haha"
>go to vote, screens are in mexican, sanskrit, and allah speak
>lay awake at night, jealous my forefathers didn't have to deal with this abomination of mixed culture that gurgles the words "please kill me"
>hope that the bible faggots are right about the 23rd and everyone evaporates

t. dirty jersian

you sound like an american trying to sound like a brit. please stop that.

Forever a jew.

This guy gets it.

Oi could sauy theu saume about you bruv.

>be me
>Nazi
>wake up
>see the world is run by zionists
>pay back time

>be me
>go to work
>do some actual work on top of shitposting, reading books, and playing Hearthstone
>leave work
>spend an hour in traffic because everyone else is also leaving work
i feel nothing desu